


Freak Love

by Venithil



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Attempted Sexual Assault, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Brother/Sister Incest, Bullying, Child Abandonment, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Female Protagonist, Futanari, Gender Issues, Heavy Angst, Heavy Petting, Hermaphrodites, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Incest, LGBTQ Themes, Masturbation, Mental Anguish, Mutual Masturbation, Obsession, Oral Sex, Other, Prostitution, Rape Fantasy, School, Self-Esteem Issues, Sibling Incest, Slice of Life, Slight Yandere, Story Arc, Teen Angst, Transphobia, Twincest, Twins, Underage Masturbation, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-06 19:31:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 96,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5428043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venithil/pseuds/Venithil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How well does a world handle people being born the way they shouldn't? How well do people handle being loved by those outside of what they were told to accept, or even their comfort zone? What happens to those we condemn, in their minds and hearts?</p><p>Not far into the future, a woman gives birth to a set of twins, both with unusual conditions - one that was just deemed rare until now, one that appears to simply be impossible. Can they handle the world, and how will the world handle them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act 1 : Prologue - Birth

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last story I am starting to upload this year, and potentially, in some ways, my riskiest and heaviest despite being set on your plain old regular Earth. I've been trying my best to convey the emotional baggage of things like unrequited love, heavy bodily image issues, lack of motivation, parental abandomnent, long-term effects of past heartbreak on an adult, childhood bullying, premature puberty and development of sex drive, overly strong sex drive and second-wave (emotional connection-based) sexual attraction, forbidden love, and gender identity issues as well as phobias related to people who may find themselves having them.  
> A combination of those leads at least one of the characters involved to become slightly unstable despite their best efforts, and ends up causing the portrayal of several characters (primarily minor) as irredeemable assholes.
> 
> What can you expect? Short and unexplicit depictions and explanations of romantic love, attachment, and sexual arousal in a minor far below the age of consent... pretty much anywhere, with nothing serious to follow immediately.  
> Scenes depicting masturbation below most countries age of consent (characters shown masturbating and climaxing alone are over 14).  
> Scenes depicting sexual tension between minors of ages that aren't always thought of as appropriate (14-18).  
> Initiation at an age that is often still inappropriate or illegal (16-17), although legal in the country this fictional story is set up in; suggestions of other activities, sexual or illegal for minors/overall, of people around that very age. (Implied alcohol and drug usage).
> 
> A character essentially developing strong sexuality and single-target hypersexuality.
> 
> Unrealistic physical development, and characters believing someone's inferiority or superiority based on bodily attributes.
> 
> Discussing or downright portraying phobias/hate crimes that, while not neccessarily directly affecting characters in question, strongly affect LGBT communities. I upfront apologize if I overstress, understress, or misinterpret an issue - I am not in any way related to any LGBT community myself, and my personal attitude towards them is *mildly* sympathetic, but my views have been occasionally described as 'harsh' by their side (even though they're scandalously and unacceptably progressive for people who are conservative Christians). This story universally portrays harm coming to people due to homophobia and transphobia in light at least mildly sympathetic for the characters harmed, but it does contain descriptions of hate speeches and emotional anguish such acts can cause.
> 
> If you can imagine a pairing and *relatively* vanilla sexual position that involves an entirely realistic person and an entirely sexually functional hermaphrodite, it'll likely be implied, pondered upon,referenced, or downright portrayed in this story.
> 
> Finally, or perhaps first and foremost, forbidden love, specifically same-generation incest, and trying to follow through on desires that may lead to it, interspersed with self-denial of such desires until they become almost obsessive. For the vast majority of the story, the major characters involved in this are emotionally immature, and at least one of them could be seen as unstable.While I'd like t believe my portrayal is moving and heart-warming at times, this is essentially stuff that many people are wholeheartedly opposed to, heavy, squicky, and risky. 
> 
> This story is about 90% finished and 60% self-beta-ed and edited, so I should be able to upgrade regularly. The ending is already determined, but I will not update the "ending" tags until the story is completely updated, which may make the experience heavier. Still, the feedback I've received for this story before proves that if a person is completely aware of what they're reading, this story can be quite enjoyable, and I'm probably being a little pessimistic on just how heavy it is.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer : All characters are original and created by me. I do not own the images nor am in any way involved with any people who may be quoted or brought up in celebrity fashion or as authorities on morals, ethics, or science. Any similarity to real world people or situations beyond direct and intended call-outs are entirely accidental. Many of the locations referred in this story are purposefully vague and some are fictional. The majority of this story revolves around and is set in Australia and Canada. Some of the medical, biochemical, and anatomical knowledge contained in the story is accurate or theorethically possible, but much is impossible or simply fictional.

Disclaimer : All characters are original and created by me. I do not own the images nor am in any way involved with any people who may be quoted or brought up in celebrity fashion or as authorities on morals, ethics, or science. Any similarity to real world people or situations beyond direct and intended call-outs are entirely accidental. Many of the locations referred in this story are purposefully vague and some are fictional. The majority of this story revolves around and is set in Australia and Canada. Some of the medical, biochemical, and anatomical knowledge contained in the story is accurate or theorethically possible, but much is impossible or simply fictional. 

 

**Chapter I : Childhood**

**Prologue**

 

„Freaks of nature. Both of them”.  
When her long-time fiancée, Michael, was leaving her, those were the words he uttered.  
They even had a date for their wedding set – just some time after she was expected to go into labor and deliver the babies at last. Everything was going so well. She could practically feel his love and one could just tell he expected the children to be quite the high-fliers, kids that would one day grow up to be amongst the best in whatever they happened to do.

Despite the fact that her pregnancy was described as “weird”, she truly expected both of the children to be healthy and adorable babies that she could shower with love together with her husband-to-be, and brag about to her neighbors.

No such things were meant for her.

 

At what was their farewell, their eternal breakup that meant they would probably never see each other again, she could only feel hurt, shocked, pushed away. He was the one making the decision. He was the one doing all the talking.  The worst thing was he wasn’t really surprised; and there wasn’t true anger in his voice, maybe a hint of a cold, buried wrath, but also equal hints of something like… relief, like he actually wanted her to screw something up so he could break their relationship before the wedding.

 

“You said you wanted to have a family with me and I decided to give you one. I gave you my precious genes and look what you’ve done with them! I wonder if these are really mine. Were you cheating on me? Are you the neighbor’s cum dumpster or what? Or is it your fault?”  
Her words nearly made him hit her, but also finally allowed her to feel natural, expected emotions in his voice. She barely managed to whisper “It’s not my fault”, and she spoke no more during her ordeal, despite the emotional anguish.

“How is it not your fault!? Look at me! You’ve seen me naked, you’ve seen what I can do when exercising or at sports… How can any of this madness be because of me?! If there can be nobody perfect on this world, at least I’m pretty fucking high in the line! It must be your screwed-up genes! When I saw your brother, I already knew something was wrong with your goddamn family! If only you weren’t oh-so-willing to do anything I asked you to, I’d never waste my time with this stupid infatuation! And where did it lead? They can’t even DEFINE how much of a weirdo that kid is! Oh, you bore TWINS, for fuck’s sake, and what happened? Even the boy is a goddamn colorless FREAK. Look at me! Sun loves me and I love it, so how the hell is that pale, ghastly freak my son? Do I look like some fucking negative picture?!” – Michael shouted, yelled at her, making known his belief that she was not worth him, that it was all her fault.

 

She sobbed and cried. It was not supposed end up like this, yet it did. She bore twins. Apparently, at some point, it could’ve been triplets, but something went wrong. Fetus absorption, they say. Not frequent at all, but it could happen. Since the pregnancy itself was somehow weird, the situation itself seemed even more unique. Her brother could probably somehow explain and even connect what happened to one of the babies and if it had any bearing in theory, but she was nowhere near being a doctor. She just knew she was supposed to have triplets, somehow bore twins, and in the meantime, something went horribly wrong. The one kid that DIDN’T have anything wrong with him ended up not being “normal” either.

 

Lack of pigment. Albinotic.

“Freaks of nature. Both of them. This is it, Alice. We’re done. Tomorrow, I’m selling this so-called house. You’ll get your half and get your ass as far as you can from here. I’d probably take that job and leave the country. I don’t want to see your useless, mutant-birthing ass ever again, you hear me?”

 

He was true to his word. She got some cash, and she’d probably never see him again. In a way, Alice Lunarson’s life ended just before she was supposed to change her last name, right there, the day after she gave birth to these twins.  
A son. With a disorder so unfitting for the son of his father.

And that *other* child. Mostly, children like that are “fixed”, since every single one is born underdeveloped in one or both ways.

This one was decidedly *overdeveloped*, with a never before seen level of combination and complexity to the sexual and hormonal part of its organism, not to mention perception and physical senses developed to the level that the doctors actually feared causing phantom pains as in some amputees.  
Some of these fears were probably completely without any ground to them, but it was true enough that the child’s groin, despite being so complicated and intermixed, looked more like its bearer was already several years old, rather than a newborn.  
  
Everyone was simply confused by that child.

 

 

 

Alice’s brother Adam was her only source of help during that difficult time. He was always dependable. A quiet but incredibly smart guy, Alice wished she had half of his intelligence and wits. She probably did, but at her breakup with Michael, she took a huge hit to two of her vital areas of life.

 

First of all, she was never particularly ambitious. She wanted to love and to be loved. Her and Adam’s parents’ ambitions were entirely satisfied with their genius son. Adam was finished with school and university faster than normally expected, skipping grades, and was a quickly rising figure in his fields. Practically nothing short of a genius, he could provide for her and their dad once their mother passed away, and father grew too old to work.

But, when Michael abused their entire relationship with his nothing short of vile method of break-up, both Alice’s confidence and her loving nature were shattered. She felt empty inside.

Alice was a pretty girl at the very least. Nothing special. Breast size just a touch above what seemed to pass for average these days. Slender. Medium height. Blonde hair.

She was in heaven when Michael, a guy who could probably have a one-night-stand with nearly every straight woman (and Alice believed, in her absolute infatuation with him, probably some declared lesbians) in the world, took interest in her. Michael was nothing short of a demigod. They’d probably base the gods’ visages off him if they were in ancient Greece, save for the cultural difference about penis sizes that happened since then. Athletic and muscular, but not in the overblown way some bodybuilders were, with looks that somehow seemed both manly and boyish, making women fawn over him. Alice couldn’t believe he was satisfied with her. Years later, she expected he probably had many girls on the side and stayed with her because she was so stable and had a genius brother. But, at the time… she loved him. Completely, and utterly, and could not believe her luck.

 

Any skilled psychologist would tell you the breakup, in addition to her original desires and the pieces of confidence she had, shattered her capacity for some of the feelings she once desired.

 

Nor anybody could believe her misfortune when the children were born.

Alice had no strength to fight for the right of child support. She was too crushed and always too domineered by him to even try to pursue anything at court. She had no heart to decide upon the future of the children. She decided to withdraw and leave things as they were. An albino boy and an “absolutely unique specimen”, “freak” as Michael said, child.

Her brother advised her on the names. She wanted to go with the father’s name for the boy, but he managed to dissuade her. In practice, Adam might as well have picked the names for both of her children, but she did have the last word with the non-albino child.

 

Gary was the boy. The other kid went nameless for a very long time. Unusually long.

But it was finally decided.

 

 

 

About ten years later, the kids seemed pretty set in their ways. They were growing up, each on their own. Alice at times distanced herself from them, and at times, desperately desired their closeness; despite not knowing how to deal with these feelings or how to show them. She often felt bad when they were bullied or openly rejected by others, somehow feeling like it was her fault, but they also had their own assets… ones she was content to let them use to deal with life, since she did not feel capable enough or, perhaps, didn’t care enough to deal with their problems for them.

  
Despite their differences and faults, they were human, and soon, they’d have to start facing all the problems humans normally faced; not only ones born from prejudice and differences.


	2. Act 1 : Childhood - His Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins' first experiences in the world is interaction with family, each other, and school life. For whom what turns out to be uneasy can be quite surprising.

His Eyes

 

Alex realized it was already late, so she stopped running around the park with her friends and waved them as she ran home, still in high spirits.

She was a lively girl. One hard not to like. Often smiling, always active. Growing very fast – faster than nearly any of the boys or girls her age, it seemed. The type that is good at sports and average with her grades. She cared about her friends as well, so anybody lucky to be called so was delighted that they had the chance to meet her.

So far, so good.

Alex entered her house, already smelling the late meal that apparently had to do for some sort of supper, since their mother was leaving for the evening. Alex wasn’t particularly keen to learn cooking, but she and her brother would survive the evening; she knew there was a certain fun to cooking if it was done right, and she sometimes managed to do the easier things right together with someone other than just her brother, Gary.

 

Yes, but usually, it was him. Her twin brother. And preparing meals together was one of the few things they were, at this early age, able to do quite well together.

Gary looked different than any of her friends. He was a bit shorter than her. A thin boy who looked like he was so unhealthy… He seemed a total, polar opposite of his sister.

It’s not that he was skeletal, no. It was his overall looks. Alex was a lively girl, and it showed. She was neither the spitting image of her mother nor her father, whom she has never met-  rather, she was some sort of mixture between the two, with a few extras. Strawberry blonde hair that she preferred to keep on short to medium length at this time of her life, openly defying other girls who somehow thought long hair was the prettiest. Her eyes seemed pretty unique and beautiful, an amber color with just a touch of green that perfectly suited her hair and her skin. Originally, the latter was very fair, but often being outside, in the sun, caused little Alex to develop some tan.

 

Gary wasn’t as vibrant or lively in his looks, nor his demeanor.

When they were very little, Alex always thought her brother did something bad and a bad wizard drained all the color from his body except for those eyes.

She hated those eyes of his. So calm and focused most of the time. So malicious whenever he was displeased. Red in color, like these times she accidentally cut or bruised and that strange painful liquid came out – well, now she could identify it as ‘blood’, and learned it was not the liquid that was painful, but who cared anyway.

Those eyes made Alex angry, if everything else about her brother just seemed weird and distant.

 

Alex knew that other kids did not like her brother. He was different. Not just in the way he looked – no, he behaved strangely. Avoided the sun. Avoided other kids. Having too good grades despite rarely being seen trying to study or learn anything.

 

Far too quiet and weird not to have other children pick on him. They were cruel like that.

Despite their differences, Alex was a caring person and so, would care about her brother. She stopped the bullying quite frequently, being able to be both more forceful and stronger than most kids, but eventually just abandoned him to his fate. Other kids sometimes cut ties with her when she protected her brother, and she didn’t want to lose friends just because he was a weirdo.

Despite that, despite Alex’s attempts to simply blend in, her brother hurt her. By being bullied. By separating himself from her and the others. By being so weird. By acting and being so smart she sometimes could not understand him. By not being like the others.

But mostly, it was those eyes. They were hard to take when there was nothing inside them. But when Gary was in pain or angry or bullied, those eyes definitely seemed like those of a monster from one of the childhood stories. Alex always worried if her brother really was human and not some strange elf or whatever brought to their home.

She was trapped between caring for her brother deeply and being afraid of him and associating with him.

 

Gary was reading this time. Not anything for school, either. Seemed like something deep and what she wouldn’t understand. Noticing her entrance and concluding they would be eating soon since she was already here, he put down his book, looking at his sister dispassionately.

-  _I could hear you even all the way from here again. You’re too loud when you play._

-  _I can be as loud as I want! If you learned how to play and laugh, you’d probably be as loud as me when doing it!_ – Alex retorted, annoyed that he was scolding her before the meal.

-  _You normally have such a pretty voice. Why do you have to ruin this by shouting all the time?_

-  _I…_ \- Alex was slightly flushed, since her brother rarely spoke kindly of any aspect of anyone. She never actually heard he thought she had a pretty voice. – _I’ll shout all I want! What’s it to you!? It’s not like you care what I’m doing! It’s not like I want you to think my voice is pretty!_

-  _I won’t say anything else. It’s pointless. Doesn’t seem to have any effect, regardless of my approach. Even reverse psychology failed._

 

 

She understood that he somehow tricked her, that he didn’t really think she had a pretty voice. That hurt her a bit.

-  _Dumb brother. Just because you hate to have fun outside…_

 

Their mother entered the room, carrying something that looked and smelled like a delicious piece of meat.

Alex only begun to understand what it means to care about one’s figure, so she was glad to eat. Gary seemed to be thin regardless of what he ate, so he did not discriminate against such a big meal, either.

-  _Alex, don’t fight with your brother. I already told you, it’s not that he doesn’t want to play outside! He shouldn’t. It’s bad for his health._

-  _I’m sure he could play if he wanted! It’s like the cold! The more you are outside, the less likely you are to catch one when it’s chilly! Your health im…impa… when your outside, your health im…_

-  _Improves?_ – Gary cut in.

-  _Yes! So, if you wanted, you could…_

-  _I hate the sun. It’ll never get better. Uncle said so himself._

-  _Kids, don’t fight and eat._ – their mother cut in on the conversation - _Alex, please don’t be so hard on your brother. You already know other kids pester him._

-  _It’s because he’s different. He doesn’t even want to fit in._

-  _Wouldn’t it be boring if everyone was the same?_ – Gary responded.  


 

 

Alex wondered for a moment, and decided she couldn’t actually answer that without losing. So, she did the next best thing – she focused on eating.

-  _The power of food is incredible. If you ate all the time, you’d actually be quiet._

-  _Gary, if you keep trying to talk me into something, I’ll eat your food as well!_

- _You’re scary, sister._

-  _Look who’s talking._

The pair managed to eat in silence before the evening came and, together with their neighbor, they would walk off their mother to the station.  
  
_\- I’ll return tomorrow afternoon. Please don’t fight anymore, OK? You’re a brother and a sister, so you should try to get along despite your differences._

Alex nodded.

-  _You’ll have to make yourself some food for the morning and before sleep. Please don’t stay up late. Gary, if either of you have any problems, ask Mrs Brown here for help, OK? And don’t try to ditch school just because mommy’s not there to wake you up._

-  _All right, Mom!_ – Alex responded, suddenly filled with newfound energy _._

The average parent would consider it weird to have the kids make themselves food instead of leaving something ready in the fridge for them. The average parent may try to take steps to stop other kids from “pestering their son” rather than just tell their daughter not to add onto his pile of worries. But Alex and Gary didn’t know the average parent, and after their birth, it was unlikely their mother would actually ever reach the ‘level’ of one.

Their mom waited and got on the train. The two kids were about to be brought back home by their neighbor. Alex turned to Gary, now willing to try and make up a bit from their mother’s gentle scolding, and advice upon her departure.

-  _Looks like we’ll be having fun making sandwiches together again!_

-  _Last time, when you mixed tomatoes with chocolate butter, I’ve realized that it cannot get any weirder._

-  _But I remember you liking something I did!_

-  _Yes. Whatever you did to that fish was amazing._

-  _Te-hee!_ – Alex said, beaming him a smile. They turned to move back home. She watched her brother carefully.

[“It would be boring if everyone was the same… But brother seems so weird and distant! It’s difficult to get along… Still, he’s so smart… He may be right.”]

Alex watched her brother move in his strange, half-mechanical fashion, sliding slightly faster than their neighbor. She’d have to catch up, but she had to make sure she’d be on the proper side – the one that mattered.

Gary pulled out his left hand from his pocket, so Alex grinned and followed immediately.

[“Gary, you little silly! Even if you say that, I can tell… You’re so sad all the time, so Sister will try to spend more time with you!”]

Alex did not hesitate when she grabbed Gary’s hand in her own, holding firmly. He actually stopped, but she pulled him along, letting out something of a chirp as she did so. He looked at his sister, stunned.

-  _Let’s hurry up! I want to have fun with you!_

-  _I guess we really need some food to make you quiet._

-  _I’ll start to whisper… ~if it makes you like me more_ – Alex responded half-melodically.

That was probably the first time ever she could swear her pale, white-skinned brother blushed.  
[“Wow, he’s even redder than anyone I’ve seen! How cute!”]

Alex, and Gary at her unbearable prompting, spent most of the evening experimenting with making food together. She later tried to tease him by taking away his book, but he quickly gave up and simply read a magazine before going to wash himself.

In the meantime, Alex wondered how could she make her brother show his cute side every once in a while.

  


 

  
It was nearly the end of lessons. Just a long break and last one to go.

For the first time in a couple of years at least, Alex was actually looking forward to coming back home.

She felt like she finally realized all the good points of her brother. For all his adeptness at being isolated, Gary was the person who knew her for the longest time – they were twins, after all. Him being a smart boy wasn’t a bad thing – they could learn together at home and he’d probably quickly learn how to say funny things, so they could enjoy their time together.

 

Gary could be a great friend. Even better than many of those she already had.  
And since he’d always be at her house, she could have fun all the time.  
Almost equally important, she wanted Gary to have fun, too. She wanted to see those smiles and blushes and she wanted him to say those kind things he usually said, nay, fired at her only to make her pause even for a moment.

She just wanted things to be better.

Running through the corridors suddenly came to a halt when she noticed she was in a hall with a bunch of other children who were apparently waiting for her.

She looked upward to see the children. Megan, a girl one year her senior, was looking back at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

Alex didn’t have many people she knew in the higher grades, but Megan was the one and only there who seemed to truly dislike her. The little girl knew she couldn’t be liked by everyone, but this particular relationship hurt.

It hurt because Megan was apparently very, very close childhood friends with this boy, Oliver.

Oliver was one of the tallest boys in their age group, but not clumsy at all – very good at sports and with a great sense of humor. Alex spoke with him a couple of times and it was the first time ever she started being interested in a boy as more than a playmate and a friend, feeling the famed sensations of butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She even asked her mother about boys and girls and all the stuff, something she never did since she simply was the way she was – running around trying to have fun with everyone who seemed likeable. She knew other girls did not act this way and rather stayed friends with girls only interacting with boys for the sake of showing off that the before mentioned perceived them as pretty or smart enough to talk with. This attitude made her popular with some people her age, particularly as a playmate for boys with whom she could hold her own against in physical games and sports, but apparently the same popularity made kids slightly older than her be more aware of her presence, too. And not always in a good way.

Alex just… acted. And interacted. She was simply herself, not discriminating anyone, not trying to act differently simply based on someone’s gender.

Still, this was the first time her being interested in a boy in a way that didn’t involve them simply having fun. It was something close to those things in books about “romance” or whatever it was called.

 

And now she could be meeting him and instead, *he was next to* the girl who seemed to half-hate her for no reason.

-  _There goes our little Alex. Running around the hallways again like a BOY half our age. Not paying attention that she may run into someone much prettier and more delicate than her, pushing them over and ruining their visage with that big dumb body of hers._

 

Alex was stunned. It was the first time she heard anyone being teased because they were too tall, rather than too short. She was sometimes badmouthed by Gary when he was especially angry, but even if his eyes held all that incredible, burning malice, his words and voice never did, they were either reluctant, or half-playful.

This girl was the exact opposite. Looking smug and happy with herself while she was spitting venom all around her.

Alex still believed Gary’s mad look of red eyes was worse than this, though. After all, Megan was just a girl. It were the boys who could usually go too far with teasing and making fun of someone else.

-  _I don’t want to talk to you, Megan. I’m going to leave now, if you have nothing important to say._

-  _Oh, sure, it’s okay if you leave._

When Alex tried to go past them, Megan gently pushed Oliver and the boy immediately took the hint, stopping the younger girl in her tracks.

-  _I mean, it’s all fine and good that you agree you’re not good enough to be here with us. I just want to know if you didn’t misunderstand or think differently. You agree with me, right, tomboy?_

 

Alex looked at Oliver, hurt that he would take part in something like this, especially with her being the target, but when the corner of her eye saw Megan and the couple of other girls present grinning like some witches, she finally burst and retorted.

-  _What is your problem!? I have never done anything wrong to you, have I?_

-  _Oh? Isn’t your pathetic presence enough? Look at yourself. Ugly. Fat. Big and clumsy. And yet acting as if you were everybody’s friend and everyone liked you._

-  _I’m just trying to have fun with people close to me! How is that wrong?_

-  _Then what were you doing with Oliver? He’s too good for you. He complained about you, talking to him, acting all lovey-dovey.  I’ll have you know that any good boy prefer his girls to be feminine and act like it. Not some half-boy, ugly, clumsy thing like you._

 

Alex was at the brink of tears.  [“Why is she so mean? What have I ever done wrong? Why is… nobody denying this… they’re just smirking or laughing! Even Oliver! Even he! She turned him against me! Why is this happening? What have I done wrong?!”] Her thoughts were frantic, chaotic, angry, and full of grief.

-  _Nobody likes people like you! You can’t even be played with properly! See, I’ll have Dimitrij here pull on your hair. Dimitrij, please do so._

Somebody indeed pulled on them,  and she grit her teeth, trying not to scream, before her hair slipped out of the boy’s hand. She was glad she had them short, until the teasing continued.

-  _See, if you had long hair or at least a braid, he’d be able to properly convey the teasing but oft friendly gesture of pulling your hair and you’d be able to shout out your pain and displeasure like a true lady. BUT instead, he can’t even do this properly! I’m sure you’d prefer to be teased like a boy since you like acting like on so much! Getting punched and thrown around, right?_

She turned around to make sure Dimitrij was the kid she thought he was, and immediately got scared.

Two years older than her and already held up in his education to repeat a class once, Dimitrij, a half-foreign kid could only be described as a giant. He was taller than anyone else including her and Oliver – and the two already pretty much topped most people in their classes. Dimitrij had muscles and he had fat, too, making him seem unnecessarily wide and even bigger than he could be. His face bore a scar from some accident to complete the visage of a criminal-in-making.

In short, if he punched or threw her, it’d hurt for a week or so.

Alex was probably never so scared, sad and angry at once in her life.

 

 

 

 

Gary was already returning to class since the bell was about to ring. He never had much to do either way. Rarely, he bought something to eat or drink, but since their mother usually provided all he’d need, or, even more often, him and Alex would prepare it beforehand, lately more often together than not, he would mostly spend time either trying to come up with solutions to things other people in class have not yet reached, being cruelly teased by others or being playfully teased by Alex… That, or simply checking if his internal clock was already capable of determining time without the use of watches or other clocks.

He was getting better. And lonelier, but he didn’t particularly care. Given how much weight people seemed to attribute to the fact that he couldn’t stand the sun, had a very pale skin, white hair and red eyes, he was quick to conclude that the vast majority of all people were complete idiots that weren’t worth his time.

 

That is, until he passed a certain hall that was the area of events taking place. Events which often made him wonder if the vast majority of all people weren’t cruel idiots deserving every punishment in the book. And these events were happening to a girl… tall one. Familiar one, with strawberry blonde hair, and…

 

His sister was weeping and crying while being pushed around by some kids. A few boys and girls, but the overall numerical advantage was tremendous. One of the girls was at the verge of shouting out of misguided anger and some sense of pseudo-superiority and… envy? Gary quickly concluded she had her own problems spawned by her personality,  and he equally quickly came to realize the teachers were idiots as well – not being there when someone clearly needed help.

Gary let go of his reserved, quasi-mechanical way of moving and approached the spot where his sister was being teased at. Quickly. Very quickly.

-  _Do you get it now?! Do you get how useless you are? Nobody likes you! Half of the people hate you! You dumb, huge ungirly ginger tomboy slut!_

Gary was pretty sure slut was a vulgar word a kid just one year older than them shouldn’t know, much less use. Especially, not use in regards to his sister.

 

Gary understood one thing. Family was supposed to stay together in this world, because rarely you’d find someone you could trust. It was a rule of thumb. People, on the whole, were cruel bastards.

In time, he also came to another conclusion. Alex was the only child AND person he met that treated him naturally. She showed it when she was displeased and beamed smiles at him when she felt like it. She didn’t shiver at seeing him, unless he was angry. She never mentioned him looking weird other than a comment that seemed obvious to her – he looked different than others, all right. She acknowledged it. But never pushed the point. She was always herself, with all these faults.

Also, Alex was the only kid ever that stood up for him.

 

                Deep inside, Gary knew very well he had no one closer to himself than his sister. Even their mother, though apparently caring for them, bore something of a pain inside her that did not allow her to become truly close with her pair of children. Gary always assumed it was a fault of him looking weird and Alex having some birth defects as well. He was all right with that. People had the right to feel pain and displeasure.

However, by the time Gary’s quite tremendous intellect realized just how things were with his relations to people and to his sibling, the young boy was already too withdrawn, emotionally hurt and numbed, as well as awkward to ever express those feelings properly. Being what she was, Alex would also be sure to rub it in if he ever said things like “You’re my best friend” “You’re the nicest and best person I’ve met”, “I like you a lot, sister”. She just couldn’t let something like that pass. He’d be teased for saying such things forever and he’d never hear the end of it.

Yet Gary felt the need to let his guard slip around her at times, just to make sure she didn’t try to increase the distance more than she had in the past years – but also not enough to encourage her to spend time with him. It’d be troublesome for her, to be seen with him too often. Kids would tease her.

 

And now, kids were teasing her regardless, and Gary realized that his sister was also, for whatever reason, suffering the exact same fate he had. Except that girl over there was even dumber than usual. Gary realized he didn’t look like other humans, but that girl would tease and have someone beat up simply because of their height or hair color; a traits that, in Alex’s case, were far more natural than his seemed to be.

 

And it was his sister, no less. Even if his feelings of adoration and sympathy to her would never be shown otherwise, this was a point where he had to stand up for her. He nearly whispered, but his voice gradually grew.

-  _Sister… leave my sister alone. Drop it. Leave her alone! –_ a few stares finally travelled towards him, raising eyebrows, eyes full of judgment based simply on what he looked like. Gary snapped the way he never did. – _LEAVE MY SISTER THE HELL ALONE!_

 

 

This time, everyone turned towards him. Gary was shivering and twitching, anger boiling within him. He never felt so filled by any other emotion.

-  _Oh, a freak comes to help his dumb and ugly sister? What exactly are you hoping to achieve, you dummy? If she’s not worth being here with us, then you must not be worth being in the school at all! Dimitrij, get him out of here._

 

For whatever reason, Gary felt *good* about what was going to happen.

It was difficult to do anything other than reading or playing games when you had no friends, but at times, he had to vent out frustration. He discovered exercises of different kinds on his own. He never showed his true strength in little physical pushing-brawls with Alex, so he usually lost them.  
Gary was, in fact, pretty strong for a nerd, but primarily, he had enough knowledge of human anatomy already to know how to hit for it to hurt or incapacitate. And now, he was willing to put that strength to the very limit for the simple purpose of hurting those who dared to raise a hand at his sister, or to mock her.

 

However, he was also too smart not to realize that despite Dimitrij being less strong than he looked like, opposite of him, there was only one way for him to defeat a giant like that. A move popular in games and media directed at nerdy and geeky kids like him.

Hit the weak spot for massive damage.

 

 

Alex was sobbing and whispering questions of why was she being treated like that, why was Gary here, and what was he doing. The moment Dimitrij started to approach her brother, who was a little shorter than her, she almost broke through her shell of despair and shouted for him to run, or for the giant kid to stop, but then, she saw something incredible.

Gary was many things, but he was never violent nor would he purposely hurt a human unless very angry.

 

That’s why a dangerous looking kick to the groin he delivered to Dimitrij with blinding speed was somehow out-of-character.

Also, Alex knew that a hit to the groin was a torture, especially one of that strength and cruel accuracy.

 

 

Dimitrij immediately rolled over while Gary practically jumped on his back, propelled himself off the giant and punched yet another kid.

Oliver left her side and prepared to give the newcomer a beating himself, but as yet another kid fell to a strong punch, Alex realized something.

 

When angry, Gary’s eyes were unbearable for her. Those almost non-human eyes filled with such loathing and malice.

 

Right now, Gary’s look was that of a demon or monster out of one of her stories. A monster send to punish all these wicked children with something downright scary. And it was all because she was being teased.  That’s what his eyes were laying out on these kids. Vengeance. Punishment.

Gary’s eyes stared at the group with so much hatred and disgust that it made the looks of contempt the entire group sent her moments ago seem like a pleasant breeze.

 

 

 

The albino boy didn’t fight like the other kids, who just beat with their little fists with as much energy as they could, hoping the other one would hurt more than them. No. He moved with the grace of a carnivore, suddenly acquired a moment before, there was no such blind action… he punched and kicked and even headbutted so his opponent would HURT. Really badly. It was almost scary to look at, but Alex couldn’t help but watch in fascination as kids older than them both fell down beaten by her brother, a kid smaller than her despite being her age, with such a slim and sickly appearance. When Oliver got his nose busted, she immediately realized he was now neither handsome, nor strong, nor smart, nor kind, and the youthful fascination with the boy immediately disappeared. Gary stood his ground against Oliver and another kid, while Megan screamed at the top of her lungs:

-  _What the hell are you doing, freak? You’re telling me you don’t think you and your dumb sis deserve this? Know your place! She dared to make advances on a boy that should love only me! She was trying to “make friends” with people better than her and she dared to think highly of herself because of that! Do you really think your sister is worth anything!? She’s nothing! And so are you! So get beaten already and let me return to punishing her! If you had a brain in that stupid white head of yours, you’d dislike this stupid tomboy, too!_

 

When Alex thought Gary reached the end of the line and when she was sure she never saw him that angry nor will she ever see him angrier, Megan’s words made him snap to yet another, higher level of madness and wrath. He delivered something that seemed like a literal bone-crushing blow to one of the kids’ necks, having him choke dangerously, then lifted Oliver, a guy taller and heavier than him, smashed him onto the ground, and leapt to Megan like a wild cat to its prey. He grabbed her hair and started pulling on it.

 

 

Gary thought he had lost something important when Megan spouted her venomous nonsense. Perhaps it was his sanity. He didn’t know. All he knew is that there was no forgiveness. That somehow, he had to make sure this girl would suffer for an eternity. He pulled at her hair. Barely able to speak, he hissed instead.

-  _Take that back!_  - That was not the voice of a sane ten years old boy. It was indeed the screech of a wraith from a fairy tale.

-  _Leave me alone, you brute! Oliver?! Dimitrij?! Anyone?_ – the girl, practically alone now as her female friends run away once they realized he was ready to hurt even them, boys nearly all lying on the ground… she was now screaming almost in panic when faced with that visage of a vampire, demon, the dark side of humanity incarnate.

 

The albino kid did something then that would mark him to the end of the school as an outcast. He was violent with a girl. An immediate kick to the abdomen shut Megan up as her eyes widened at a barrage of pain she probably only felt that one time she tripped on the way to the dentist and had to sit and have her teeth pulled at with her leg bloody and covered in whatever that stingy thing was.

 

The boy was pulling at her hair like no one ever did before and was angrier and scarier than her dad and that stupid drunkard from down the alley put together. Megan wanted to order him to stop, but those eyes were already burning through her.

-  _Take that back! Take that back, or you’ll die! Slowly, and full of pain and misery! Or perhaps you’d prefer to live disfigured? Then you’d have air-headed girls shouting “ugly” down at you!_

 

 

Megan was never so terrified and hurt in her life. She wanted to take it back. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to laugh with Alex after this when they’d make fun of that kid saying he’s like a monster from some story.

Words wouldn’t come out. All she could was pant and screech and feel the pain. She also realized the boy was Alex’s brother, and that she, at that point, might even had the right to condone his actions.

 

Something warm and wet was covering Gary’s thumbs. One of his hand pulled so hard, the hairs were apparently coming off, and she was starting to bleed. He didn’t care. She probably deserved her head pulled out of her neck and played soccer with.

 

But, finally, the anger of the other boys overcame their fear of whatever demon was inside the albinotic boy at that point.  They all threw themselves at him and separated him from Megan, trying to beat him up.

 

Alex finally moved. She couldn’t fight those boys, she was too scared and shaken, but she could run to the end of the corridor and shout for help. Somebody was bound to hear. And a pair of teachers did.

 

In a few minutes, it was over.

 

And in just three quarters later, Alex was holding her brother’s limp, bloodied and beaten body in her hands while the nurse checked him and they were waiting for the ambulance to arrive. He didn’t seem drastically hurt, but the kids did went incredibly violent on him the moment he ridiculed them in a group-on-one fight.

 

 

Alex was sure that what Gary did was impossible.

Basically, despite the boys having an advantage in everything, he simply  beat them up. Even though he had to be hurt and he seemed to bleed all over the place, he just continued to beat these boys just as bad until the last one stopped moving. He even knocked Dimitrij onto the ground again by hitting him with a flowerpot from the nearby windowsill. Moments after, her twin himself just fell on the ground, limp and beaten. Technically it was a draw, but anybody objective would say her brother just accomplished a miracle of willpower.

 

Whether it was because Gary didn’t want anybody to bully her once he fell to the ground or because he was simply that angry, she did not know. All she knew is that she wished that never happened, that her brother wasn’t hurt so. And yet, she couldn’t stop a sick feeling of being glad that not only someone stood up for her, someone kicked the crap out of all these kids, pulled out a few hairs out of Megan’s airhead, and kicked her in the stomach for added effect. Not to mention, it was her brother, someone she saw every day and was close to and could say thank you to without searching for him.

It felt wrong to be pleased at that point. Something changed within Alex that very moment. She would probably never be quite as cheerful, but as long as her brother was going to be all right, she’d be ecstatic to return home to see him.

 

She also became pretty sure that his eyes were nothing short of majestic when angry and beautiful when calm.

 

When the ambulance came and took her brother and a few people he had beaten up in, she finally broke in tears. Of joy, of sadness, of grief, and of fear for her brother, of thankfulness, of so many emotions she couldn’t name them all.

 

Two days later, her mother returned from a meeting at school concerning the incident her son and daughter were into. Listening to both sides of the story and recognizing Gary as so far being a model student, they decided to simply suspend him for a week and warn him rather than remove him from school due to the incident, despite some of the other kids suffering quite some damage – he took as bad as he’d given, though, and for whatever unfair reason, since he technically started a dangerous incident, his punishment was the most heavy.

  
Alex didn’t really care. All she wanted was for her mother to stop drinking that damn coffee and move to go with her to the hospital already. She waited two full days to visit her brother. To properly thank him. To make sure he’s all right.

 

 

Finally, they arrived at the hospital. Alex had her mother tell her the room number and immediately darted forwards. Having still to wait for her mother in order for the nurse to even let her in. When they were finally allowed inside, she suddenly went silent. Seeing her brother in bandages and plasters, even though he seemed to have mostly recovered, was making her heart ache.

She couldn’t find the right words. She couldn’t say what she wanted to say. She was panting, feeling warm, embarrassed and tired for some reason, thinking hard, and probably blushing all over. Something was wrong, because all she could do was listen to Mother explaining the situation to her brother. Apparently, he was in some trouble, he shouldn’t cause an incident like this again, and what he did was “wrong”

 [“Well, thank you, mother. Maybe next time they will bully you”] – Alex thought, full of spite at the society’s judgment of the action and admiration for her brother’s deed.

 

Finally, Alice went silent, and seeing little purpose in drawing out the visit, she asked Alex if she would like to stay with her brother alone for a while. Alex nodded and waited for her mother to leave before approaching the bed. Gary looked at her and seemed to try to say something. She already anticipated the question, playing out the scenario a thousand times in her head and coming to the conclusion that if it was this young boy… no, young man in front of her, he’d definitely ask that.

-  _I am all right, Gary. I feel fine._

-  _It’s… good._

-  _Gary… thank you. I sometimes abandoned you when other kids bullied you, but you stood up for me. No, more, you made all these bullies and the pain… Go away. I…_

 

Tears slowly gathered in her eyes.

-  _I am not as smart as you. I don’t know how can I say that properly. I can only say thank you over and over. I am really…_

-  _Sister, it’s all right. You’ve done the same for me many times._

-  _No, I haven’t! All I could manage to do was stop them for an hour or so! Ever since then, Megan and her bunch didn’t come within a mile of me! I am free and I don’t have to be bothered with them anymore all because of what you did! What’s more, I… I… You made all that they’ve said and done seem so insignificant. It was like they never even existed. I’m not sure I can ever repay you, Gary._

 

Her hand gently reached out and grabbed his. She felt she was blushing furiously now, but it was something she felt she had to do.  When she grabbed his hand, she felt something she felt only so rarely – utter comfort, safety and warmth. Only Mom’s very best of hugs managed that, and here, all she needed was a squeeze of his hand.

 

-  _I’m glad I could help._

-  _You should have seen yourself, Brother. I never saw you that angry._

-  _They… were annoying. Of course I was angry._

-  _Furious! You were like a dragon eating poor villagers!_

-  _Aren’t you overexaggerating  a bit?_

-  _Not at all, scary boy. It’s not humanly possible to be as angry as you were. It was funny watching them squirm in fright of a boy younger and smaller than them._

-  _What are you getting at, sister?_

 

Alex suddenly felt a bit like teasing, so she leaned in conspiratorially, looked him in the eyes, and spoke :

-  _How about you just say it, brother? Why were you so angry? Angry like never before?_

 

And she answered in her own head, before thinking:  
[“Objective : Get Gary to blush, success!”]

-  _I…_

-  _Mhmmmm???_

-  _I couldn’t let them bully you. You helped me and you’re the only person who sometimes treats me really good, so I guess I got carried away._

-  _So, all for the sake of poor little me?_

-  _Yes, Alex. I really… care about you. It just…_

 

Something must have been off with her face, because he went silent. Something was definitely wrong with her, as well. Comparing it to previous experiences, it was like she met four Olivers at once after running all the way to school – at least, her heart reacted in such a way.

-  _Alex, you’re staring weirdly. I know I rarely say these things, but please…_

-  _Gary, I want to hear you say it again. Properly._

-  _…_

-  _Pretty please?_

-  _Alex, you’re stepping over a... ughhh, what was the word.... Boundary, yes, a boundary. You heard me just right, so that’s it._

He did squeeze her hand a little more, however, which caused Alex to beam him a smile.

[“He’s not smiling, but… His eyes are so warm. Those beautiful eyes… I need to find a proper word to describe those one day. I want to see Brother’s reaction after I tell him how beautiful his eyes are.”]

 

She squeezed his hand and felt a sudden urge to touch his hair, so she did. Gary seemed to look at her weirdly, but given a wide enough smile he just put up with it.

-  _Brother, please be well quickly. Your sister wants to have some fun with you as soon as possible._

-  _I’ll try to, Alex. But I promise nothing. I… have missed you, too._

 

Alex’s memory seemed to devour each and every word pouring out of his mouth. Something felt wrong with her. Her body felt a bit too warm, and a tingling overcame her, coming from her chest, and… elsewhere. Between her legs?

-  _I never suspected my quiet bookworm brother to be a knight in shining armor, but now he also turns out to be so kind… Should I call you my prince from now on?_

-  _And there you go again with your teasing._

-  _I am not teasing, Gary. I am being serious._

-  _All right, so, now that I’ve completed my big quest, where’s half of the kingdom and the hand of the princess?_

Alex nervously twitched. He was holding her hand right now, wasn’t he? Did her brother not think she was good enough to be a princess, even as a joke?

-  _Oh, right. I’m holding it right now. But I still want my half of a kingdom._

 

Her body and the inside of her head begun to twitch even more nervously.  
[“So, I am a… princess..”]  
 Something was wrong with her. She never felt that way before. In her lower abdomen, she felt a warm, constant tingling and pulsing. Her mind was hazy. Instinctively, she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

-  _Would a pizza do?_

 

Gary’s laugh resounded in the cold, white walls of the hospital, suddenly changing it all into a majestic and silvery castle with a beautiful prince laughing in the middle, holding the hand of his princess after an important battle.

Alex froze and her body shifted, bending over as if her stomach hurt. Her brother’s laugh was the last straw. Beautiful. Pearly and clear. Honest. As rare as anything in this world. Alex’s weird feelings reached over the top. She felt something stir inside her, especially in her lower body, in a different way than ever before. She looked at Gary and couldn’t move, even though she wanted to do so many things.

 

 

Alex cared about her brother and probably always loved him, but it took something as simple as beating up people that bullied her, sharing a few jokes with romantic undertones, and hearing that precious laugh of his while holding his hand and looking at him to make her * _fall in love*_ with him.

Head over heels. Utterly, and hopelessly.

 

[“ Stop, Gary. Please stop laughing. Please stop… being like that. Please tell me to leave. Tell me you’ll see me later and we’ll make food to shut me up. Tell me I’m a dummy and that I am annoying… Just please… don’t make me… like this… I cannot understand this!”]

By now, Alex was pretty sure something was wrong with both her heart and her underwear, primarily what was inside of it, stretching it and making it oddly sticky.  But most of all, something was wrong with her head.

[“Was Brother always this beautiful and cool and amazing and special and incredible and smart and dreamy and… and… kissable…”]

Her eyes widened. Gary finally stopped laughing, apparently feeling the pressure in the air coming from his sister. She was all flushed, as if she had a fever, and was leaning in over him.

[“I want to kiss my brother. I want to hold him tightly. Then maybe, if I rub my whole body against him, these feelings will go away…”]

Her hand travelled to his cheek. Gary felt that something was wrong, and gave a slight cringe at the touch. Alex was in her own world, and couldn’t see that.

-  _Brother…_

-  _Alex? Alex, what’s wrong? Should we call the nurse?_

-  _It’s better if we’re alone..._

 

[“If I kiss him, will these feelings be satisfied or will they grow stronger? Will brother let me kiss him now? He has trouble moving, so he cannot pull away, but I don’t want to ruin it…”]

-  _Alex, something’s weird. You’re too close. Something must be wrong, so please tell me._

[“I wanted you to say “please kiss me” or “please hold me”, Gary! Why are you saying things that aren’t kind? Aren’t you my prince? My knight in shining armor?”]

-  _Alex! Alex, snap out of it! Alex, what the hell are you doing!?_

The girl finally came back to reality, realizing her forehead was already pressed against her brother’s, their noses were rubbing and she was stroking and holding his cheek to the point of redness.

[“This is bad. I must leave now, or I’ll kiss brother so much he’ll suffocate!”]

-  _Sorry, Gary. I was just checking out if… Nevermind. I’ll save it for later. When you can properly return it._

 

She moved her cheek to Gary’s and hugged him instead. Whatever was happening in her pants became nearly unbearable at this point of complete contact.

[“Should I pounce on brother when he returns and shower him with kisses? Or should I try to make him kiss me first?”]

 

 

She moved away from him, panting from the exhausting effort her will had to undertake to do so.

[“I’ll flip a coin. So much to do, but I seem to have all the time in the world. We’re… family. He’s always there. Always, every day.”]

-  _See you soon, my dear brother!_

-  _Yeah, yeah. Bye._

As soon as she left, she excused herself to the toilet. Closing herself in the cabin, she pulled down her underwear and checked what the hell was happening.

 

At two points on her underpants, two miniscule areas of dark wetness were present. The upper seemingly bigger. It was what was causing all the discomfort that made her worry. She never had her body react like that. Not all these symptoms at once.

The place between her legs seemed all hot and bothered, and this thing between her legs… Mom called the similar piece Gary had a “weewee” – was standing upwards, all hard and bloated and twitching. It was the first time it was THAT hard and this big and so warm. Some stiffenings happened before, but only rarely and not to that extent. Sometimes, in the morning, the thing between her legs, which was normal since Gary had it, would be a bit longer and stiffer, but now it was a LOT longer and stiffer, and something was slightly…leaking from the tip? Alex moved her hand and touched it.

[“It feels weird… Kind of ticklish… but good, too…”]

 

She withdrew.

[“That’s indecent, and I think too much touching would be unbearable”]

 She quickly tucked her pants back on. It felt uncomfortable, but should be all right.

[“I’ll need to talk to Uncle Adam about this. I’m not sure Mom can help.”]

 

 

 

Two weeks and one day later, Alex was indeed able to meet her uncle.

 

Adam’s own accomplishments pretty much justified Gary’s quite tremendous intellect at quite a young age – they shared some genes at the very least. Gary even slightly resembled his uncle, with obvious differences regarding the younger man’s albinism, to the point of Adam occasionally being asked if he was the boy’s father.

Despite his relatively young age, Adam Lunarson was already a quite renowned pharmacist and pharmacologist. Pretty much a genius, getting the proper degrees to work anyway and anyhow he wanted to in the drug-related fields might not have been a piece of cake, but he never considered it particularly straining. Many people wondered why he never simply went into medicine and try one of those wonderful things like curing cancer or AIDS or some other fatal human disease, but Alice’s brother was far too much of an experimentalist and chemist at heart to abandon his own field. Rather, he preferred to study, study more, experiment, and try to do his best in developing medicines and drugs people actually USED to make themselves healthier.

The only bad things that could be said about Adam Lunarson were that he didn’t precisely care about establishing a family of his own nor could anyone point out one thing that was more important to him than his research and work. He put tremendous effort into helping Alice and her children and never seemed to demand anything in return, but his work was always the most important. From a bystander’s view, however, it might seem that Adam was selflessly working his butt off to provide his own sister with good accommodation.

 

Also, never being especially good with people, Adam tended to use difficult words and patterns of speech that required quick wits, which is something Gary regrettably picked upon. Adam seemed to at the very least be Gary’s role model if not downright inspiration.

 

At the point of their meeting, however, Alex had his nearly undivided attention. While Gary’s condition was certainly a point of worry for Adam, who knew quite well how ostracized a young, smart person could be – especially if one looked and behaved differently from anyone else, Alex’s condition was a point of fascination to him, so on the occasional visits, he was willing to abandon work and talk in length with her or about her.

 

Alex breathed some air in, smelling the chemicals. This time, they were nicer than usual, though still smelled somewhat badly. She exhaled and started talking.

-  _Uncle… Some time ago, I had a strange… incident._

-  _Well, I figured as much. You wouldn’t be hanging around my lab if everything was all right. So, what happened?_

-  _Ummmm, how do I say this…_

-  _Even if it’s something embarrassing, it’ll be better if you just tell me bluntly and straight away._

-  _Two weeks ago… in my panties… This thing between my legs got unusually warm and hard and… twitchy. It sometimes got bigger and harder than usual, but that was very rare, and on that occasion… it felt… different. Also, my tummy was burning up and pulsing and it was like there were butterflies or something inside, and it was all so itchy and warm and unbearable…_

 

Adam raised an eyebrow. Obviously, boys got erections all the time, some even at a very young age, so there was no reason for this to be strange. It was the fact that Alex noticed the difference that bothered him. Also, with her unique body make-up, Alex’s sexual development could be compared neither to a boy nor a girl. In theory, her erections should be less often and not exactly “full”, but the way she described it, she certainly got completely excited on a sexual level and her body responded as such. Alex probably noticed her female parts’ response less because it was either a bit weaker or more subtle.

-  _I see. I think it will be best if I fully explain to you what happened, but first I must ask what triggered that reaction._

-  _Um, what do you…_

-  _What were you doing right before that happened? Or what caused it to happen?_

 

Alex went silent for a moment.

[“How much… should I say? Should I tell him I was with Gary? About holding hands and hugging and… wanting to kiss and…”]

-  _Um… I was… with a boy, alone… talking._

 

Adam was surprised. He actually wondered if it wouldn’t be a case where Alex’s male part only respond to females, whereas her female part would respond to males. The point would be moot, however, if Alex was a bisexual. Or, more like, naturally inclined to be bisexual with both sides of her body.

-  _Really? Were you *just* talking? Nothing weird happening? Also, was it a boy you liked?_

-  _Yes! Yes, I definitely like him… we also held hands… And I hugged him, b..but…butmythingwasalreadylikethis, so I guess it didn’t change anything. That’s about it, I think._

-  _I see. You may want to sit down, Alex. This is a long story._

 

Alex obediently sat down and prepared herself for the worst. After all, Uncle Adam seemed pretty serious.

-  _Do you know where children come from, Alex?_

-  _Well… There are rumors… but they’re usually very dumb, so neither I nor Gary believe them much…_

-  _I thought so. Anyway, the truth is… Children are made by their parents. It requires a man and a woman to participate in a certain activity. Said activity is very pleasurable to men and may be pleasurable to women if they both try to make it so. However, with you, the situation is a lot different._

-  _Activity? Could you please describe it? And… How am I different?_

-  _Well, Alex, let me say this : You’re a bit too young to learn everything. I will teach you in time because I feel as someone unique you should be well-educated, and I doubt Alice has the nerve to discuss all of this. Let me say this : As I mentioned, making children requires a man and a woman. While you always identified yourself as a woman… you’re not exactly one._

-  _I am not a girl!?_ – Alex said in complete shock and surprise.

-  _Yes, you are. Partially. But you’re also a boy._

-  _Uncle, what are you saying! This is embarrassing!_

-  _I am only speaking the truth, Alex. Surely, you have noticed that Gary has a very similar thing to yours between his legs? When you bathed or ran around naked in childhood, or something?_

 

Alex blushed furiously.

-  _Y…yes. I noticed._

-  _This is properly called a penis, and only males, that is, boys, should have one. Yet, you possess one as well. You also have everything a girl should have. Technically, you’re both a boy and a girl at once. People like you are called intersex, or hermaphrodites, but your case is unique even amongst them._

Alex suddenly felt really down.

[“This is… hard. I never thought about myself as anything other than a girl. Should I start using the boy’s toilet occasionally? More importantly, can I fall in love and marry anyone if I am neither a boy nor a girl? I am really an ungirly weirdo after all…”]

-  _Um, uncle… how does this… change things? In regards to boys and girls and making children and such…_

-  _It is difficult to be sure at this point whether you will like boys, girls, or both, or neither. However, there is a difficulty. Because your body is different from anyone else, when you grow up, many people will have trouble accepting you. That’s why you shouldn’t reveal your… uniqueness to people you don’t trust, and that’s why you must prepare yourself for some rejections in your life. Not everyone will accept you the way you are, because people are, at heart… very close minded. I’m afraid boys will be especially so. So, you have to make sure you found someone really special and open minded before you confess your feelings, or accept theirs. If you’re not sure about that boy you were with when… that thing happened, you should probably try to give up on him before things become serious and you get hurt._

 

 

[“Gary… can Gary accept… wait, Gary already saw me undressed… and he probably knows these things Uncle is talking about. Didn’t Gary say so himself?”]

Alex smiled warmly, thinking back on the words of her brother.

[“It would be boring if everyone was the same, wouldn’t it?”]

-  _I am sure, Uncle. If it is this person… I can probably have them fall in love with me and accept everything._

-  _If you think so. I doubt it, but you’re still young. Anyway, that thing that happened… It’s fairly normal. It’s called an erection. Young boys get it quite often for no reason at all. You should be at least similar in that regard. But, what you probably had was a different kind of erection, a meaningful one – it happened because you were close and touching the person you liked. With adults, having an erection indicates that one is ready to make children. At your age, it would indicate this is what your body seems to want, but you wouldn’t be able to make them at this age._

-  _I see. So, if a boy has an erection past a certain age, it’s a sign they’re in love with someone?_

-  _Partially. It’s a sign they like their BODY. Loving someone includes liking the entire person, isn’t it?_

-  _Yes. I guess you’re right, uncle. ~But, if that boy had an erection as well, there is a chance he likes me as well, right?_

-  _Yes, but I wouldn’t bother myself with checking if I can get him to have an erection. It’d be easier just to ask._

-  _Sure, sure, silly me._

 

[“New objective for me : Get Gary to have an erection!”]

-  _It’s a bit more complicated with you because you have both male and female parts. Eventually your female parts will quite probably start to work properly as well. I’m quite afraid about the effect it will have on you, so make sure you talk to me about these things occasionally, all right?_

-  _Sure, uncle! I learned many important things today. I’ll see you soon!_

-  _Alex, wait. There is the last important thing._

-  _Yes?_

-  _Just as there is no guarantee a person you like will accept your body… There’s also no guarantee that you’ll ever be able to make children normally with said person. At this point, I have no idea if you’ll be able to make children with boys, girls, both, or neither. I… am sorry._

-  _It’s… a bit sad, but I’m a bit too young to think of these things… Besides, since I have erections, at least the boy parts should work out fine, right?_

-  _Yes, that is possible. But, try not to think of these things too much, ok? You’re still young. You shouldn’t be interested in this for at least five or six more years._

-  _I’ll try to contain myself, uncle! For now, bye! Have fun at the lab!_

- _You know I always do, darling._

 

 

Alex stepped into her house, worried a bit about how a marriage without any children would look, but far too cheerful at realizing Gary may indeed be her destined person, because he already knew everything and seemed to have a mind ready to accept any differences.

So, when she saw her brother, already out of the hospital, this time, she couldn’t resist pouncing on him. Gary was obviously flushed and displeased.

He would continue to have those feelings in the future.


	3. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - Obnoxious Overbearing Stalker Sibling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four years of school life has passed since the incident in the hospital and Alex realizing her feelings. The twins are getting along with themselves, and struggling against their own problems, but some behaviors and acts of good will make it harder to improve, and put up walls when they were supposed to tear them.

**Act 2 - Teenage Arousal, Part 1 : Obnoxious Overbearing Stalker Sibling**

 

-  _Gary! Gary, at least eat this before you leave, will you?_

The albino boy walked down the stairs, apparently displeased at having his activities cut short by something as trivial as eating.

-  _Alex, you’re not my mother, you know. I won’t die of starvation if you just let me be._

-  _It would be very unfortunate if brother did not possess sufficient energy when he needed it! Also, you’re still growing, so you should stock up on nutrients, too._

-  _I’ve already pretty much caught up to you, sister. As far as girls go, you’re way too tall, so I should be fine the way I am. Besides, what you’re trying to force into me isn’t even a balanced diet. You just stuff me full of proteins and sometimes seem to be picking the foods at random from the internet. I mean, who tries to eat eggs and oysters and what kind of girl tries to share her chocolate every time? Not to mention all that celery! Why are you always trying to give me these kinds of foods lately?_

-  _It’s because I am a girl that you should be taller and bigger than me! One day, you will have to carry a bride on your hands, won’t you? So, what would you do if she turned out to be bigger than you?_

-  _I’d commit Seppuku in the silent walls of my own house. You’re overstepping what is considered a healthy amount of care for a sibling, sister. And, you still haven’t answered all of the questions…_

 

Alex pouted. Since they’ve gotten the connection to Internet recently, and she started to get a lot more… interested… in the topic Uncle Adam told her the same week she fell in love with Gary, truth was, she searched for libido-strengthening foods on the internet and has been trying to feed them to her brother whenever chance arose. Of course, she didn’t get to make much of the food, but a lot of it was simple, something one could explain as a snack for two. Celery, raw oysters, eggs? Almonds, chocolate, bananas… none of these were truly hard foods to obtain and make.  
She needed an excuse.

-  _I’ve been… trying to find foods to balance out your diet and help in areas you’re still not fully developed in… I mean, can’t I treasure my brother and want the best for him?_

 

Gary just sighed and seemingly gave up. Or just wanted to drop the topic.

-  _… Girls…_

 

Alex smiled gently. She truly appreciated her brother’s clear identification of her as female, despite the fact that he most certainly knew and understood her condition. Despite slowly becoming more open-minded about the gender issue herself, Alex still felt she was a woman rather than something in-between.

 

At the very least, she was something between a woman and the midway on male-female path, so still more a girl than a boy or even a mix of the two.

Also, the fact that he identified her as a girl probably gave her more hope as to where their relationship would be going. Alex realized that she probably wasn’t getting out of the crush on her brother. On the contrary, it seemed to get minimally stronger every year. Whenever there was a closer, nicer moment between the two, the young girl felt very happy inside; on the other hand, making her brother angry or him feeling bad caused her to become very displeased herself. Some people would’ve brushed it off as some mystical twins bond; whatever it was, Alex identified it as a need to be close to him and followed that need whole-heartedly and, at times, almost shamelessly.

  

Gary seemed a bit less oblivious than initially, but still wasn’t sure what exactly it was sister seemed to expect of him. For him, the fact that she used to sit next to him simply to watch him eat food she herself made for him, all the while wearing that subtle but growing smile… It was both useless and creepy.

-  _Alex, I really am going to eat it. Stop staring._

-  _Ohhh, can’t I just watch my bro…_

-  _It’s a pointless waste of time to watch me. Go and do something productive._

-  _Productive, huh? Maybe I should… feed you today. Hehe!_

Alex leaned closer to pull the fork out of Gary’s hand, but he held it tightly, much to her chagrin.

-  _I swear, sister, if you try to treat me like I’m your baby or something, things can and will get pretty ugly._

 

She just flicked his nose.

-  _Garrry, I can’t imagine anything that includes the two of us being ugly. But, fine. I guess you’re not in the mood for this today._

-  _Not now and not ever._

  The young hermaphrodite rose from the table, not wanting to show too much emotion from that last comment.

[“Brother… What do you mean “not ever”… It’s not that abnormal, is it?!”]

She walked back to the living room, feeling somewhat down.

[“It seems like you’re still way too clueless Gary. I don’t even want to consider how I’ll come to feel if you’re acting that way as a hint that I should stay away.”]

Yes, there was a small, dark something crawling at the back of her mind when she considered that option.

[“Yess. Let’s not think about it. I’ll play with you a bit when we’re back from school. Maybe we’ll talk. Perhaps I’ll think of a way to win you over a bit more.”]

 

Gary finished up his meal and was preparing to leave house for school. He also had a club meeting later.  
His schoolwork was going really well, especially given the occasional tutoring by Adam in the pair’s favorite overall field of science. Adam managed to nearly completely infect Gary with his fascination for chemistry and similar sciences.  
  
The way he was going, he’d likely be moved one year up in terms of education. He didn’t particularly care, since he already wasn’t in the same class as his sister and he still had trouble finding friends his own age.

 

Mentioning his sister, her current attitude was somewhat troubling.

He remembered her saying a few times that she’ll be eternally grateful around their 11th birthday, and it seemed she wasn’t kidding about it. Always looking out for him. Always caring for him. Alex once missed her own classes only to prepare a suitable meal for Gary and drop it by his class. Gary never felt so embarrassed in his life, especially when all these pseudo-popular schoolgirls, class jocks, and low-intellect bimbos at school decided to start asking where he’d get himself such a flat-chested girlfriend and if he had a taste for such.

Gary was on the verge exploding in anger at these comments. He was aware of Alex’s situation. By mere virtue of her hormonal balance – or rather, imbalance - associated with her condition, her overall growth and secondary sexual characteristics would probably at no point truly resemble that of a normal boy or girl. But, Alex always felt she was a girl, and so did Gary. Her behavior was , at the very least, much more charming and often more feminine than that of his dumb classmates, although it was nearly equally annoying at times.

 

The worst part was that Alex actually took it on herself to *continue* her teasing despite her apparent gratefulness, and, worst of all, she took a growing guy’s most vulnerable point : relationships, as a base for these attacks. Alex acted as if it was a crucial point of her life whether he interacted with any girls, and somehow he felt like she was dropping him some kind of hints regarding girls, while using herself way too directly as an example… or as if expecting her brother to make moves on her simply because he was single and she was around!

 

Other than that, though, she did seem kind and very dedicated to him, or the family as a whole, given how frequently she visited Uncle Adam lately.  
 His complex over being unable to establish normal relationships was already showing its head, and so did his immature sex drive. He didn’t find his sister a likely object for these kinds of affections, but if she once took a joke a little too far, he worried he might end up doing something incredibly dumb spontaneously and then, he’d be the villain rather than her.

It pissed him off just thinking about it, but he also started wondering if he wasn’t too stingy and didn’t place too much distance between them lately. After all, she was exactly his age. She probably had her own problems, especially given her not exactly specified gender.

 

Also, Alex helped him not to slide from slight bitterness into the abyss of utter, unfettered cynicism just by always acting her kind, playful, half-subservient but teasing girly self. He was amazed and always wondered whether it was just an act or her true personality. After all, she faced her own bit of teasing when they started to grow up, and yet, around him, she seemed barely changed. Though, it may have had something to do with her not wanting to worry her already overtly stressed, isolated and focused brother.

 

Focused. When his mind was getting as dirty as to start obtaining *those* things and worrying his erotic desires may start to erupt in the presence of his own sister.

Gary was disappointed and disgusted with himself due to his growth, but couldn’t help these kinds of feelings. He sometimes thought he might have to end up protecting Sister from himself if his growth would only continue to increase these filthy desires he started to have for women.

The albino boy gathered up his things and left for school.

 

It was going to be another bad school day for these two siblings. They never had much luck about school life.

 

 

The three girls were sitting together in the chairs, looking over at the other end of the classroom and discussing.

-  _So, Emily, you that’s your big plan is it? Getting that nerdy guy to do the projects for you and help you with your grades?_

-  _Yup, pretty much. This Lunarson kid is bound to skip a grade sooner or later, anyways.  Probably after this year, too._

-  _Well, he is smart, but he looks like a freak and is quite the mean little bastard._

-  _Come on, a nerd like him is gonna be all sunshine and butterflies if a girl like me acts cute enough.  Just watch me._  


Indeed, Emily wasted no time going through the class to the albino boy’s desk.

 

Something that was, fortunately, seen by the person apparently stalking said albino boy.  
Yes, even albinotic boys had stalkers. She just peeked through the barely opened door and listened…  
  
Listened how that bitch apparently wanted to take advantage of her precious relative! Help with your studying? Demonstrating how things are done?! Studying sessions together!

[“ Who or what does she think she is?”]

Yes, that’s right. Her brother was about to be taken advantage of, and she suggested setting something up once lessons are over. He cocked his head but didn’t outright refuse.

[“Using her whorish smiles and feminine viles to confuse a young boy! And he’s not flat-out refusing. What are you doing, Gary! Come on, do I have to save you this time as well? She just wants to use you!”]

 

She did wonder about what her brother was thinking in this situation, though. It was certainly a possibility he wanted to teach that girl a lesson himself…  
  
Alex moved away from the classroom, thoughts running all over and around in her head.  
She didn’t actually consider what to do if Gary actually got interested in another girl, or a girl got so interested in him that she’d pursue him. For the last four years, since she felt she fell in love with him at the hospital, it was like she just hoped things would slowly become better from where they were, constantly, at an even pace…

 

Then she realized why this girl… she thought Gary called her “Emily”… in particular suddenly made her worried.

 

Emily was basically a prettier version of Alex.  
One inch shorter, lighter, more classically blonde hair, green eyes, teen curves to her body rather than a boyish build, cleaner, softer skin…

[“No! No! Nononono! Gary definitely looks to the inside of a girl! He’s the type of guy that values smarts and… personality, and…”]

She hung her head low and ran through the corridor, bumping into two girls, almost causing them both to fall to the ground.  
_\- Hey, you, watch ou…_

She didn’t listen.

[“And… who am I on the inside? I’m his sister that is starting to cling on to him too much, am I not? A jealous girl that gets these kinds of thoughts from other girls talking to him… and I’m only so much smarter than these bimbos who only see smart guys as help in passing a grade! And why would girls… try to make themselves prettier if guys did not take notice of… of that?”]

She gritted her teeth.

[“Just you… people wait. I’m the person that likes Gary the most. I’ll become prettier for him! And I will definitely not watch as someone else snatches him away! DEFINITELY NOT!”]

 

 

Alex received one pretty bad mark that day, but was mostly annoyed with the situation from before. It was sure hard to have a crush on someone, and hers was clearly evolving into something more.

Or it already did.

 

 

 

Emily seemed to be pretty content with how well her plan was going.

Surely enough, turned out the Nerd-boy was quite willing to listen to her after the lessons were over, as she expected. Some of these guys would probably do everything for a beauty like herself, and if apparently one of the top marked pupils in her grade was one of them, all the better.

-  _So, I was thinking that perhaps you’d be willing to help me with my studies these days. Of course, I could hire professional tutors and such, but I think it’s much nicer to associate with someone who can become your friend over it, rather than just being paid help that will treat you like a moron or as if they were superior, wouldn’t you agree?_

-  _I can see how you’d come to that point of view, yes._

He was glancing over at her, and although he wasn’t blushing or anything, and his gaze seemed neutral, she was pretty sure both her pleasant smell and her looks were softening him up so he’d be more receptive to her offers.

-  _There’s also the issue of our two projects coming along… I’d be very grateful if you’d help me with at least one of them! Of course, I’d try to somehow make it worth your time other than us befriending each other. Maybe I could invite you to one of my parties, introduce you to one of my friends or my parent’s friends… or a small payment?_

Gary pondered on how “delicious” the offer seemed.

It really did appear this girl was one of those who’d make people help them through mere promises of favors, social, sexual – which at their age was something like a kiss on the cheek or two seconds of fondling. Anymore, and they were considered lewd and perverted human being - or whatever. She’d offer “ symbolic amounts of money” just in case along with a pleasant, flirty stare, assured they deserved a ‘discount’ to any sort of service simply because they were deemed a bit prettier than other girls, and they considered that fair or simply their right.

 

He was willing to give the girl the remnants  of the benefit of doubt, though, so he decided to reveal a bit of his cards in a moment and see how honest she was being.

- _Sorry, Emily, I’ll just go grab something to bite and drink from the machine, and I’ll be right back, okay?_

- _Sure, sure._

 

The albino guy moved pretty quick, though both him and Emily had different reasoning for thinking he did so. The blonde teenager looked over the area outside of the classes to see one of her female friends chatting with one of the guys she *really* had her eyes on, Jeff.

Now, compared to Gary, Jeff was way more delicious. Darkish skin befitting of his mixed descent, tall, and toned. Well, stereotypes dictated that a girl would also enjoy herself with a half-black guy if he took after one of the sides in the masculinity department as well, but Emily didn’t want trouble or drama now, so sexual conquests were in the future for her. It was fun to tease guys who were slowly getting more and more charged with hormones, though.

 

She decided to approach the duo – no point not associating with her friends or handing out a delicious guy to her quietly simply because she was setting herself up so that nerd essentially passes the grade for her – walking down a set of stairs, passing by some flat, but pretty girl (or very, very girly boy), an inch or so taller than her.

 

Suddenly, the usually quite graceful Emily found herself touched on the lower leg in a manner that tripped her badly enough to cause her to suddenly  fall, on her knee, then down the stairs, receiving numerous bruises all over her body and tearing up her clothes, the fall delivering bumps and getting her hurt all over.

 

She was pretty sure the fall was a result of a small kick delivered to her shin… a subtle cut worthy of a skilled, if dirty soccer player.

And it could only be delivered by the girl that just passed by her.

 

 

And said girl already had her back turned to her… and even though Emily saw that Gary-Nerd approaching, something really weird happened. The girl suddenly grabbed him mid-run and embraced him.

-  _Dear my, Gary, are you that happy to see me that you’ve come running? I’m so flattered! That’s sweet of you!_

 

The albino boy was stopped in his tracks, shocked at what was going on, but one angry look from Emily pretty much explained the situation to him.

-  _What are you doing, Gary? That… that bitch tripped me! Help me, not let her make it seem like you’re…_

-  _“That bitch” is my sister, Emily, and you’re not yet at a point where you can order me around._

-  _Tskkk. Picking a family member over a hot girl. Pathetic._ – Emily said as she dusted herself off and immediately turned away, apparently not intent on listening to him in the slightest.

 

Alex released some of her grip on her brother and was immediately grabbed in turn, pulled towards a wall, and pushed against it rather roughly.

-  _O-ouch! Gary, by now you should learn that only certain spots can feel good when treated roughly, and only on occasion! I’m a girl, you know…_

-  _What the hell were you trying to do back there?_

-  _Uhmmm, looking out for you? That girl was just going to use you and…_

-  _Thanks for treating me like an idiot, sister. Of course, I’d never even suspect that. Thanks to your watchful guidance, though, I am sure I’ll never even get to see if there are people worth to be friends with, much less actually find some friends._

-  _I… I was just trying to look out for my brother, okay? What’s wrong with that?! You could show a little appreciation._

-  _Riiight. Somewhere along the way, one of us forgot that I am the nerdy, apparently smart kid with no friends and assumed I need protection from even just testing whether certain people are worth the effort, not to mention that person assumed I am unaware of the risks. But now, all is fine, since I’ve been protected by my oh-so-wise sibling who  knows quite well what a horrible burden friends are._

Alex was stunned. She figured he’d be a little angry, but for different reasons, and that she’d be able to mellow him down a bit. It didn’t seem like she’d be able to do the latter. He was actually right; she potentially stopped him from some serious social interaction he lacked no matter how she looked at it.

-  _N…no, you’re wrong. I… I mean, I was just trying to… I didn’t mean to…_

-  _Whatever. Just go and play with someone._

 

Gary turned around. Alex tried to grab him, but he simply shook her off and half-ran away.

-  _No! Wait! I’m… I was just worried about you! I didn’t mean to screw anything up for you! Please, talk to me for a bi…_

[“Chase him down and force it into him.”]

Alex suddenly went silent and shook her head no. That was a weird thought. Gary needed a few moments alone and there was no point in chasing him, as painful as that fight was.

That’s what she tried telling herself before blindly running and trying to catch up to her brother, before a teacher stopped her.

 

The rest of the day went pretty bad for Alex.

 

 

 

Gary woke up very early in the morning, before the sunrise.

He was annoyed by the fact he got into a fight with Alex.

Her attitude was… annoying and troubling, though. Overbearing.  Always doting upon him for some reason. From one point of view, it could be considered sweet, but there was no rational explanation for such behavior. Alex went way beyond trying to be a good sister. She tried to substitute friends and parents too. Plus, he’d never get a girlfriend with a girl-friend like that.

 

Nevertheless, she WAS his best friend and fighting with someone like that was bad. Alex was… special. She cared and understood, and looked at him with this weird… affection  in her eyes, way more often than Mother or Uncle Adam or any of his acquaintances at school did.

 

Gary tried to avoid the thought that she held more affection than appropriate or more affection than them combined like a wildfire. Sure, she cared a bit too much, but it couldn’t be anything bad. And he yelled at her, scolded her, even pushed her and tried to throw her arms off him when she was clearly trying to explain the situation.

 

He should probably apologize and try to make up to her after tomorrow’s school and club activities. Yes. She’d tease him, act annoyed, pout, and hopefully they’ll make up soon.


	4. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - I'm Watching You, Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When waiting for Gary to come home so they can make up, Alex finds out something interesting. As if she didn't have enough reasons to always watch her brother already.

Alex returned home from her run, feeling slightly better if all sweaty. She was a bit of a mess, with her nipples stinging and her pants probably giving off an awful smell, but at least she kept in shape.

 

It was kind of a bet to assume her brother liked sleek or athletic girls at this point, but it was one of the beauty archetypes these days, and the only one attainable for her so far. The other ones appeared to be the “overblown supermodel” with inhuman physique and all those chesty girls with extra large but shapely curves.  
  
With Gary’s own physique being very slim, with just a little bit of lean muscles thrown into it, it was fine to assume he preferred his girls thin or a little athletic. At least, that was her guess.

 

Alex was not a fool. She realized her dislike of large breasts at that point stemmed mostly from the fact that she didn’t have them herself. It’d be normal for a 14,5 year old girl not to be too developed, but her “development” seemed to be completely stopped in its tracks or slowed down to a snail’s pace. Some girls at least had properly-shaped hips to make clear they’re female. Alex still had a nearly-completely boyish figure, which wasn’t too satisfying for her. She hoped she’d at least grow quickly later in life.

For now, she swiftly took off the dirtier clothes, brushed herself with a piece of wet cloth since she’d be taking a bath later that day anyways, and sat down in front of their family computer – something she usually wouldn’t get to do when anyone was home. She had a bit of free time, since Gary would be having club activities that day before returning… postponing their confrontation after the yesterday’s small clash.

 

Alex was literally setting chaos all over the computer as well as the Internet, having no clear aim with her doings and just seeking to have fun.

That is, until she bumped into a strange folder. Curiously, she opened that one. It’s name made no sense for her on the first glance, a mix of numbers and letters, but since it was nowhere near the system files, it was probably a normal, manmade one.

Indeed, when she opened it, there was a  single text file and two subfolders with pictures.

 

The folder contained something she’d describe as tasteful but clearly suggestive portrayals of females in various state of dressed to barely dressed.

 

As their mother probably wasn’t a lesbian, and Alex had no more than occasional, passing interest in some girls’ looks that would never result in her creating a folder of girls in exotic, tantalizing clothes up to and including garter belts and then abandoning it after giving it a weird name…It had to be Gary’s.

 

Her brother was growing up and was finally taking interest in things that boys and girls were supposed to do at a certain age.

Alex herself was sex-educated much earlier than usual, due to her condition. Uncle Adam has taught her quite a bit over the years. Obviously, Gary was an incredibly smart guy, but that was the exact same reason why she thought he wouldn’t have sexual thoughts that quickly.

And yet, this proved her wrong. It was rather clever to think of such a unique name. It wasn’t the usual “hiding” sequence of subfolder-subfolder-subfolder-XXXHotXHot folder - Some-Celebrity-Blowjob – the mechanism used by both her friend’s boyfriend, as she heard, and once even a guy at her school… and on a school computer, no less. It looked like it was planned out quite thoroughly. As expected of Gary. Actually, her scatterminded, chaotic way of searching through the computer was the perfect nemesis to that and the only reason why she was able to find his “hidden stash” at all.

 

Now she wondered if there was more hidden elsewhere.

 

Alex started to frantically search through the computer for any pictures or movies. She realized this may be her one true chance of finding out about Gary’s tastes and whether she could do anything to match them.

She felt so utterly dirty doing this it was almost good.

 

Suddenly, a phone rang.

She was kind of annoyed to be forced to pick it up, but did so regardless.

-  _Hello? Oh, Lanny, it’s you? Hanging out… ~Weeellll, I’d love to as usual, but, you know, I just found out something very interesting and I completely HAVE to check it out. Sorry. Maybe next time._

Lachlan was one of the few people the now less happy-go-lucky Alex could call “friends”. True ones, not people you call friends that you’re barely acquainted with. And it was a real boy-girl friendship. Lachlan made a joke about being permanently friendzoned, but admitted he didn’t want anything else. He was the only guy who had the slightest idea about her complicated love life. Alex confessed to him that she had a certain trait that would probably make people less accepting of her in the future relationships and also that she had a crush on a person a relationship with whom *just might* be considered improper. It was while she was testing him for any faults in terms of friendship and after already having a talk with her mother, who was stunned at her questions about whether close relatives may marry and what to do in these sorts of situations.  Alice was nearly panicking by the end of the talk, but Alex somehow managed to get by with just a warning to “not try anything weird”.

 

Basically, Lachlan knew he was unlikely to ever know everything about her. He never inquired about this hidden side of Alex. Never suggested he thought less of her because of it. A very good friend, even when she actually admitted to some of her secrets. Gary and Lachlan even met twice. First time, it was all formal, but on the second time, they seemed to even get along – which basically meant, if everything went OK, Alex and Lachlan could be friends for life.

 

Nevertheless, right now learning what was tempting for Gary’s eyes and his groin was way higher on Alex’s list of priorities than further developing her relations with her best male friend, so she “ditched” him and returned to frantically sorting through the computer.

 

And she found it. This time, it was a few seemingly webcam shows and strip movies, with the girls finishing topless, and once, completely naked. Again, with the weird letters-and-numbers name. It took her long enough to find just the other one, so she quickly compared the names.

She could see the similarities, only she couldn’t exactly grasp what the hell it was that made the names similar.

 

Gary’s strip videos seemed nothing out of the ordinary. Classic beauties. Some normal, some a little bit more chesty. Just what you’d expect. It was slightly boring, but Alex somehow knew she did not hit the motherload yet.

 

[“Analyze, Alex. Analyze. How could Brother think? Of course, he’s so smart he should practically teach his teachers, but you know him. You’re no longer a dummy, remember? What could brother…”]

Numbers. Letters. Always in specific coordination.

 

[“Brother’s interests? Passtimes?”]

 

Numbers. Letters.  
  
She quickly opened a side-window and looked at the prime suspect.

 

A chess board.

Slowly analyzing, a wide smile came on her face.

[“The folder names are chess notations, written in reverse… No, that’s not it. Every chess piece except for Queen and King has a double, at the very least. One of the coordinates is written in reverse because it’s as if it was a mirror, the other is written normally. Those are all coordinates for where traditionally black pieces start, with the higher numbers and letters from “a” to “h”. At that point, even brother would think in a simple way, so where the important things are is obvious. Folders for the queen and the king.”]

Alex stopped for a moment.

[“I’m surprisingly smart when it concerns Gary’s sex life. Amazing.”]

 

She quickly done a whole-drive search with the search option for both assumed names. Unsurprisingly, those yielded results.

The King consisted nearly entirely of text files, which she promised herself to read at some point in the future. But the Queen…

[“Holy shit, Gary. You’re growing up earlier than expected, and yet, this is somehow so childish. Animated porn. Hentai. Comics AND movies of those.”]

 

Alex allowed herself to dabble in the world of her brother’s animated porn for a short while.

[“This is wrong, Brother! It’s all wrong! Those girls are even worse than these chesty ones and supermodel ones put together! Nobody can be built like that, especially not your sister! And what’s with the size of those erections? Aren’t those boys twelve or something? … No, wait, he’s apparently sixteen…Is this some kind of complex coping mechanism? But is it on author’s part or is Gary uncomfortable about his “piece” too? “]

Alex was kind of heartbroken over this. Before shutting it all down, she took one last look at a certain information.

One of the files was downloaded today.

Alex practically beamed.

[“ I was all over the place ever since he woke up. He wouldn’t do it with mom around, either. But… mother will return today after not having slept too much for a time. She’ll probably lie half-dead the entire night, and he knows that. Brother had no chance to do it in the morning, so unless something changed and I didn’t notice… It is very… Very possible…”]

The girl probably didn’t realize that her eyes were sparkling and her mouth was slightly drooling.

[“Gary’s going to masturbate to this crazy shit tonight. Right in this room, he’ll be stroking his wiener. Looking at these naughty animated huge-chested sluts. I’d rather he were looking at me, but what if I could…”]

Her eyes darted to the side, onto the balcony. It was constructed to have a wall under two windows and between them, the balcony door. No plants were currently there, meaning the perfect peeping spot.

[“Yes… God has heard my prayers! Well, it’s not like I was really praying for this… and if I were, it wouldn’t be exactly for something like that… ~But! The chance to see brother half-naked, all aroused and hot and bothered and STROKING himself until he ERUPTS… Has just appeared!”]

 

The house door opened, and it was probably him opening it. Alex immediately closed all the folders, and noticed she was sporting an erection of her own.

[“Nevermind. It’s not like he’s not used to seeing bigger, right, Mr. S-i-b-l-i-n-g?”]

She bolted down the stairs to see if it was him, only remembering at the last moment that normal people, supposedly, would feel the least bit reserved after what happened in the morning. Even if they found out their beloved’s jerk-off inspiration materials in the meantime.

Wait, normal people would be more unhappy after finding them. Nevermind.

Alex gave her brother an inspecting look as he walked in. No foreign long hair from unidentified girls on his body. No change of smell. Seemed all right, probably avoided the sun.

Said sibling had something on his mind himself, and was slowly trying to focus and buckle up for the unavoidable confrontation and his own attempt to apologize… but seeing how she already appeared before him, he almost wanted to run away.

Still, Gary was determined to speak, but stayed silent for a moment, re-gathering his courage. Said moment grew slightly longer after he realized something was wrong with his sister, but he decided he was ready and opened his mouth to speak.

-  _Alex, about yesterday at school… I’m sorry. I reacted way too strongly. What you did wasn’t even wrong, it’s just that… you’re always pushing slightly too far with your care. I’m really sorry._

-  _Well, I guess with you trying to socialize further with people, and with your new interests, you need your sister’s dedication less and less, huh?_

 

 

 

They were both surprised a bit… Alex, because this came out not suggestive enough and too strongly. Gary, because his hope of her just accepting after some silly and cute antics evaporated after the first sentence she said. Still, he pressed onwards.

-  _I… honestly want to apologize. I am sorry. Really. Please forgive me?_

 

 

Alex appeared to be considering it. Of course, he might’ve suspected she’s gonna be lenient, and she planned to be from the very beginning.

-  _~Well,  since you’re asking so nicely, probably a person as good as me should consider. Especially if it’s your treasured sister. Am I your treasured sister that you’re asking to forgive you?_

 

She was probably flashing him the biggest mad grin one could imagine, but, after seeing what she saw just moments before and finally being in a position of power over him, she was just so much in the mood to do these things to her brother that she couldn’t help it.

-  _Alex, I’m serious here. I thought you’d be, too._

-  _Oh, can’t you see I’m very serious? I cannot forgive you if you’re not really sorry and if you treat this like you stepped on some unimportant neighbor’s field, can I?_

-  _Stop teasing me. It’s not going to have any effect you may want it to have, you should’ve learned by…_

-  _Huh, that’s not smart of you. Calling me a tease instead of a treasured sister won’t help you._

-  _It’s pretty clear you’ve already forgiven me and you’re just trying to make me feel more miserable and act more apologetic._

-  _Oh, he acts like he’s so smart now. And yet, he didn’t think of a girl’s delicate body and her caring heart when he shouted at her after pushing her against a wall… A girl who was just doing her best to look out for him, too!_

-  _You should stop your little act and make up with me already…_ \- Gary seemed to finally lose his patience and his momentary composure. - _… Come on? Please?_

-  _No can do. Come on, brother. You know I need to hear it every once in a while._

 

Her brother clearly hesitated, but she felt his resistance waver. Then, he overdid things, which nearly made Alex squeal in happiness. He walked over to her and embraced her.

-  _I’m really sorry, my dearest sister. Can you find it in yourself to forgive me, please? It’s an honest apology and request to a sibling I treasure so much._

 

 

[“Yes! Yes Yes Yes Yes! I’m MELTING! Please, Gary, keep it up, please continue… Ahh! Don’t bring your hips closer, or you’ll feel your sister’s naughty erection! Or maybe you want to… Gary, you should stop after all, or sister won’t be able to con…”]

-  _Alex? Alex, is everything all right? –_ Gary asked, his voice now concerned.

-  _Yes, brother. I’m sorry. Your sister is just moved… So moved that you hugged her on your own. You often act like… I reacted strongly because sometimes it feels like I’m such a bother to you._

It appeared that calmed him, and actually made him smile

-  _Actually… it’s okay, sometimes. Sure, you’re always joking around and teasing me, which is annoying, but it’s not like I could dislike my own sister for something so insignificant._

[“Your “dear sister” knows everything, you dirty bastard. You look at these women and animated chicks with lust in your eyes instead of directing your attention at the one that loves you. Bad boy. I wonder if I should expose you… Oh, but if I did, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy Brother’s dirty mind in the future, would I?”]

-  _Your sister forgives you, but please be gentle with her in the future._

-  _Sure, Sis. I know I overreacted._ – Gary said, breaking the embrace completely now, somewhat to her disappointment.

-  _Oh, unless she doesn’t want to, of course. Sometimes, a little force is fun, don’t you think?_

 

Alex smiled meaningfully after saying that. Gary cringed, as if he also caught the double entendre.

-  _Sister, it sounds like… something’s not completely all right with you today._

-  _That’s because your sister made an important discovery!_

-  _Discovery? What do you mean, discovery?_

-  _Ah, yes, a discovery… but it’s a se-cret! In any case… Please, continue to say kind words and let your sister discover interesting things in the future._

Gary sighed and showed her a small frown.

-  _You’re going too far with the act again, Alex._

 

He was clearly a bit angry once more. Alex’s mind was racing. Did Brother think her flirtation was just for fun? A method of teasing as a joke?

[“No good, Gary! You’re too smart to think that! Do you really need to be told everything straight to the face like the other guys?”] – she wondered, as he moved past her, heading for the stairs.

Suddenly, the albino boy was hugged from behind, Alex no longer worried about her softening erection being pressed against him.

-  _I am not acting, Gary. This is the “me” that you’re supposed to see. Not an act. A special, caring Alex just for her brother. Made courtesy of your mother Alice Lunarson and your no good father whom we don’t know. With the added perk of honest affection for her sibling, all in an economic package. Aren’t you happy?_

Gary was stunned momentarily, not knowing how to respond to that.

 

[“ Is she teasing or what? Nooo, it has to be a joke.  The Alex I know would never say such embarrassing things other than as a joke!”]

 

He managed to get himself out of the hug and look at her sister disapprovingly.

-  _You know, Alex… I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been telling you not to joke around in that way. I seem to do it often._

 

It was Alex’ turn to show a little anger. She didn’t hesitate to punch her brother in the abdomen, and even though it lacked excessive force, it was a strong enough jab to hurt.

-  _And I already said I AM NOT kidding around at all! Stop treating me like one big joke! Stop underestimating me and thinking everything I do is just to tease! I’ve already been behaving like this for a long time, so accept it at last! It’s annoying when you never see why I really do some things and ignore me because I’m probably just kidding or acting “the way Alex acts”!_

 

That surprised her brother. Stunned him, even – the fact that she was serious. What was he supposed to understand from it? Was it that Alex had some feelings that she shouldn’t have as a sister? Or did it mean she really and truly cared for him as more than a friend and as much as a sister can? Moreover, is it all right either way? How should he treat her after such a confession? And is she really completely serious, or just swept away by one of her moods?

Most importantly, he couldn’t let the situation escalate further than this.

-  _I… need some time alone… So… Sor…_

-  _Of course you do. You’re a growing boy. You’ll probably start needing a lot more time alone all of a sudden._

 

 

 

Alex just watched her brother look at her, blinking, with rose – colored cheeks before it suddenly escalated and he started blushing so furiously it was as if blood was about to spill out of his cheeks. He apparently worried she might’ve meant “that”.

 

[“See, brother, your sis can have a comeback too. Now say it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” or “I don’t have these kinds of interests!”. Lie to your dear twin sister, pervy bastard. Lie and then go watch those big boobed girls when your sis is sitting here all alone hoping her brother finally recognizes her.”]

-  _I’ll… go now. Is that all right?_

-  _Whatever you want. It’s not like what I say seems to get through to you._

 

Gary turned away from her, unable to take the pressure anymore, and practically ran to his room. Alex stared at the floor, pondering on why nothing seems to get across... and if it does, it seems she’s getting rejected.

[“ Is it because I’m not to his tastes? Is it because I’m his sister? I have certainly stopped just a few words short of coming out and saying it plainly to his face. Gary is way too smart to ignore all those hints.”]

Her hands reached her chest, feeling whatever made it just barely more plump than that of a boy.

[“ Should I ask Adam for help regarding my figure? It’s really not too girly. Maybe that’s the issue. Maybe brother isn’t really seeing me as a girl and just acts like he is out of concern or gentleness…”]

 

 

 

 

 

It was rare enough that Adam came to visit, but this time, apparently, it was because of something important.

More specifically, it appeared he had been offered a job overseas. A job that really interested him. Now, he was talking to his sister about said job.

-  _I know that such a separation may be difficult, Alice, but this is really a fantastic opportunity. Not only will I improve my qualifications and may become a well-known scientist, also thanks to this new university I will be able to have access to many facilities and technologies that I can’t have here. Just think about it! Think of how much I could achieve if I could focus just on my job there and work with people equally qualified!_

-  _I… understand, Adam. I always knew you wanted to leave a mark on our world and I probably always felt that if it’s you, you can, but… This is just so sudden. Are you sure this is legit? More importantly, how long it would be before you leave?_ – Alice answered, hints of both worry and pride in her voice.

-  _It is legit, Alice. This French-English family is apparently pretty old and accomplished, and they decided to gather up their funds and start a project like this. It does help that they won a few lotteries lately as well, which just increased their overall funding capacity. We’re talking about people with, pardon me, a shitload of money wanting to establish a university that will become the best in the country in a matter of years and near the top of the world in a decade or two._

-  _But… Why Canada?_

-  _I don’t know. Seems like their own fancy. Since their family is cross-nations and they’re practically all bilingual, a country that mostly uses French and English like Canada must seem appealing to them._

-  _I… I see. That means you’ll be moving overseas in… how long?_

-  _Three or four months. They want to make sure I’m qualified to do this. I just barely got on the list of potential employees due to the distance… But I am there and I can get that job. I’m sure of it._

-  _I believe in you as well, brother. I’m just sad that we’ll have to part._

-  _Well, you’ll be getting my house here in Australia, and I’ll try to visit as well as arrange visits for all of you. Also, if he’s interested, I’d like Gary to apply for our university once he comes of age._

-  _Gary?_

-  _Yes. He’s a bright young boy. If we manage to give him the best education possible, he can also develop or invent something great, and leave his mark on the world we live in._

-  _Well, you can talk to him about it… but only once he is older. I don’t want him distracted like that when he is still in his childhood. I want him to just… enjoy himself and learn properly._

-  _I see. Then,  I’ll refrain from talking with him about this… for now._

-  _Alex wanted to see you about something. She’s probably in her room. She seemed moody and depressed for all day, but I’m pretty sure she’ll still want to talk about it._

Adam went towards Alex’s room, but instead, saw her sitting by the computer. It was rare. Alex was always rather the type to enjoy physical activities or, more rarely, reading certain stories rather than playing or surfing the Net. That would suit Gary more.

 

He approached his niece, who immediately noticed him and gave him a weak smile. Something must indeed be wrong.

-  _Hello, Alex._

-  _Hi, Uncle. Ummm, why are you here? You visit so rarely these days… Must be work. I know you really like your work… It’s just a bit harder because you can always be talked to about some things that Mom doesn’t seem to want to hear about or understand…_

-  _Something’s wrong, isn’t it? You seem especially down today._

-  _Is this the reason you came? Mother called you?_

-  _No, I’m here to kind of warn everyone that we may be saying “goodbye” soon. I’m quite likely to be employed overseas in three or four months, and I’ll be going to Canada._

-  _But… what about mother? What about me? You know you’re the only person I can talk to when I have problems that relate to my… condition! How will we…_

-  _We’ll still be seeing each other, Alex. Just rarely. There’s also the internet, phones, and such… I can still help you whenever it’s possible, I guess._

-  _I… see. Your work was always important to you, Uncle Adam , so I guess it’s a vital thing for it. Anyway… I wanted to ask you something._

-  _What is it, Alex?_

 

Alex sighed and tried to wrap her “problem” into proper words.

-  _I’m… developing slower than other girls my age. I have no breasts or hips at all compared to some. I’m at the very bottom of the well, it seems. I just wondered… Is there any easy way to make my body more “girly”? I’ve searched the Internet, but all these things… Like implants. They look so bad! And they seem to have so many possible complications…_

-  _Alex, you have a crush on someone, don’t you?_

-  _Wa –wha-what? What?! Uncle, I… How did you…_

-  _You’re always rather chipper and confident and you rarely seem down, Alex. But now, you’re complaining about your body as if attractiveness was the most important thing at age of fourteen. You always seemed a bit more patient and understanding as well as accepting of herself. My guess is that you found a guy you seriously like and he just seems to prefer girls slightly more… “Stacked”._

-  _I’m not sure if that’s what he prefers. But, it wouldn’t seem to bother him if I were… and… well, it’d just be nice to feel I am more womanly and, well, attractive. Wanted._

-  _You really are a girl, Alex._

-  _You think so?_

-  _Yes. This is a common problem for girls. The issue of attractiveness. Is their body really what it should be? The best it can be? Are they really the most attractive girls for their boyfriends, or potential boyfriends? Girls worry themselves over this regardless of whether they appeal to their important people, and many make stupid mistakes about changing the way they look because of it._

-  _It’s not like having other girls’ problems is making me glad…_

-  _The issue is, Alex, we have no idea how your body works. Even after so long. I don’t know if you’ll end up being more boyish or girlish or whether you’ll suddenly start growing and changing into something the other women will be jealous of. It’s impossible to determine at this point. Your body doesn’t even seem to have a set growing type. You sometimes develop everything equally and at other times, it’s growth spurts of specific… parts. I don’t know what we could do to improve it without ruining it._

-  _I don’t care what’s natural or what my body wants! I want to feel desired and attractive! I want him to look at me and think I am beautiful and sexy!_

-  _So does everyone, I imagine, especially every girl! But, we have to keep your health and the more important things in mind. Most of all, you’re too young for this to really be an issue. I won’t interfere with anything until you are sixteen at the very least! That being said… I will soon be going to work at a place with many excellent scientists, so we may think of something that will help you. But even then, I’ll only accept minimal interventions to push your body, TEMPORARILY, into the direction you want it to move to. The rest has to be nature’s course. Do you understand?_

-  _Yes. It’ll be difficult to wait, but… I guess you know the best. I’m still a kid and really impatient, but… It’s not like I’ll be moving forward for a long time. Then again, maybe I will. Either way, we’re still young, so I guess we can wait…_

-  _I’m glad to hear you’re being so mature. Also, Alex, let me tell you one thing. Any normal guy, or, well, girl, would rather accept their partner’s body as it is than have her undergo surgery, no matter the quality of implants or skill of the doctor. Do you understand? Those things can actually make you seem cheap and less attractive. Opposite of what they were meant to do._

-  _I… see. But I’ll still try to ask the guy himself what he thinks about these kinds of things._

-  _I guess that’s fair. Do you feel better now?_

-  _A bit, yes. More importantly, I discovered something interesting. It’s about time boys start getting really interested in sex, right?_

 

That seemed a bit out of the blue. Adam did make sure Alex was more aware of everything early, due to her uniqueness, but that wasn’t something he was really comfortable discussing, or what he thought they should be discussing. Still, he had to answer somehow.

-  _Ummm… Yes, that seems correct. But, regular girls most often prefer to wait until they’re sure, and only really develop any kind of interest later in life. Some dislike sex for most of their lives and only do it kinda out of obligation to the men they feel tied to…_

-  _Well, it may be because I’m part boy, but I am… rea, uhh, somewhat interested. I guess you’ll say fourteen is a bit too early for the real thing, and I know that. I do intend to wait until I’m really sure the boy I like returns my feelings and desperately wants to do this… but would you say there is anything boys really like when it comes down to the real thing?_

-  _Alex, you’re still too young to be asking about that._

-  _I am not!_

\- _Yes, you are. When you’re fifteen or sixteen, you may be mature enough to start asking those questions._

-  _But you’ll be gone to Canada by then!_

-  _Well, we’ll still have emails and stuff. So please be patient._

-  _It’s really bad I cannot talk to Mother about things like this._

-  _Well, you can. I just don’t know how she’ll respond. The break-up after you two were born…_

-  _It really broke her, I know. Gary probably noticed, too.  He’s too smart not to. That’s why he always tries to rely on himself and that’s partially why I always make sure he doesn’t have to._

-  _You are a good sister, Alex._

 

[“Yet I so, so wish I could be more than only that.”]

 

-  _Thanks, Uncle. I will try to contain my curiosity about these things, for the time being, but I’ll probably fail in the short run at least. There’s something I really want to know about really really soon._

-  _You’re a good sister, and yet you’re taking the tainting of your innocence so easily. That’s a bad thing._

-  _Not to everyone. I just wonder if that one specific person would like it…_

-  _I will have to get going now, Alex._

-  _First, promise you won’t leave to Canada without a proper goodbye._

\- T _hat I can promise_. – Adam answered with a smile.

 

 

Alex was lying in her bed, but she definitely will not be sleeping anytime soon.

Gary wasn’t. She could tell. The air was too heavy. He did not lock his door so they wouldn’t make too much of a  noise when he tried to open them in the night. He was really going to go through with “it” this very night.  
And he’ll be so tired and sleepy in the morning, that he won’t be able to defend himself against her affectionate teasing. But right now, what mattered was that she’ll be able to see everything she wants to.

  
She had everything mapped out. Planned. Even if her beloved brother was masturbating to something other than her, she would like to be there to see it. She wondered if he’d get naked, but as long as she saw his privates, she’d probably be satisfied.  
She heard the steps moving right beside her own doors. Gary opened it and peeked in, seeing only his sister in all her innocence, resting after a tiring day.

So good at lying, that little minx.

 

 

He closed the doors behind him with as little sound as possible and moved forward.

Alex was already on her feet, waiting to hear him move further around the house.

Once she was sure about the distance, she opened the door to her room, and moved slowly and with incredible focus. She even surprised herself at the efficiency. Her brother probably couldn’t hear her.  
  
Approaching the important part of her road to seeing her own brother jerk off, Alex gazed upon the trap door.

 

Anyone normal would think it was insane.

Alex just deemed it necessary.

Opening the trap door as slowly and quietly as possible, she entered the attic.

 

 

Infrequently, Gary would take her to the attic for some tutoring. They’d also hide if they were committing something unsightly and hiding from mother…

Like eating sweets. Or pizza bought with mom’s cash.

 

They also played hide and seek there.

 

Other than that, the attic held little purpose and was rarely ever used. Now, it became a crucial part of her master plan.

[“I am really getting into this… Odd.”]

She approached one of the windows on the side of the attic, and opened it. Staring through it, she measured the chances of reaching the so-much-wanted balcony once again.

[“ I am no longer sane. I can no longer stop.”]

 

It was good enough. She jumped onto the window, leaned out, grabbed the pipe on the side of the roof, and suspended herself in midair. Slowly moving down, her feet against the wall, Alex felt like a secret agent.

[“Gary, you better make it worth this!”]

 

She went as far as the pipe would allow, then outstretched her arm to grab a cable just over the balcony.

Failed. Tried again. Also failed.

[“Stupid cable! Nothing will stop Alex from watching her bro in the most private and intimate moment possible for a teenager! Gary will be mine to watch!”]

She finally grabbed the cable. Thanking Gods she was still light, she slowly moved down the wall with her legs, before stepping on the edge of the balcony’s enclosure and, then, slowly sneaking onto the balcony proper, behind the wall, and hiding just below the window.

 

 

She took a deep breath in.

[“Please be there, Gary. Please have it in your hand or start pulling it out at least. Please.”]

She crawled to the side of the door on all fours before peeking from behind the doorframe. He was there.

[“God, oh God, the computer is turned on.”]

She gazed a little longer and further, noticing her brother sitting, slightly flushed, in front of the monitor.

[“I am as well, metaphorically speaking.”] Alex added in her head.

She moved back to the window, moved a bit upwards from her half-kneeling position, and peeked through, into the room. Her brother was now more clearly visible, but the distance was safe. Or so it seemed. She also saw the monitor.

[“ Oh, it’s that one. With the dumb story. Childhood friends and stuff. At least the girl that does pervy stuff in it seems kind of normal compared to all these other hentai freaks. But her breasts are still a bit too big for my tastes…”]

She peeked out again. He was clearly doing that motion.

 

Alex didn’t masturbate much with either “side” of her sex.  As soon as she learned about it, she tested it both ways. Her girl parts seemed too sensitive to pain and not enough sensitive to pleasure. Her male part seemed to take too long to actually feel good, although the ejaculation provided a great feeling, but was just too much work if you asked her, and the afterglow just felt like utter tiredness when combined with all the effort.

 

Now, watching her brother do it seemed like an even more erotic experience than doing it herself. After a while, she couldn’t help but simply stare continuously, almost as if not caring whether the object of observation sees her or not.

 

She couldn’t tell how long it lasted, but it seemed pretty abrupt when it ended. She felt the show Gary gave was a little too short. Her brother shot out a pretty tremendous amount of white fluid, getting his pajamas all dirtied in the process. He seemed to pant and try to regain composure, before standing up and… starting to undress.

 

 

It was a long, torturous process for Alex, who watched it cautiously and carefully, her eyes wide open and mouth slightly agape, focused completely on what she perceived as a beautiful sight. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavily as he started to pull up his stained shirt.

[“Flat abdomen, as expected… Brother’s hipbone… And now, that hint of the ribs… He still has some muscles despite becoming a nerd, huh? No, wait, now, the chest… God, how come no other girls can see the way he looks? Are they blind or dumb? Shirt is off… Brother’s beautiful white skin… stretched over this so seemingly delicate but firm body…”]

 

She licked her lips.

[“You’re going to continue, right, Gary? You’re going to keep undressing for your twin sister. That’s it, grab the hem of those pajama pants… They must be all DIRTY and STICKY just as it is now in your sister’s underwear…”]

 

She could barely take it. Her erection seemed to get even bigger and her vagina, the part that made her thoughts about being a female actual and real, was responding, too. She couldn’t remember being so horny in a lifetime. She looked down at herself. Her own pajamas were brutally tented by her violently throbbing erection, , not to mention she never felt such moistness on and inbetween her thighs. That was one hell of a difference compared to when she tried to “tease” her vagina on her own earlier.

 

 

[“Can you see what you’re doing to me, Brother? You’re making your sister all hot and bothered… It’s unfair to give me such a sexy show… You only have to deal with one organ, I have two! They both want you so much, Brother… I need your touch now, but you’re busy… Are you going to masturbate again? Will you at least let your sister jerk off to the sight of you naked? I’m sure I’ll be satisfied for quite a while if you do, so please, get naked and rub another one out. Just…for…me…”]

 

She lowered her own lower pajamas and grabbed her erection. It already seemed to get slightly too big for her hand.  She wondered about her brother’s size. From here, when he was still mostly covered and with his hand partially hiding it, it seemed… adequate, but she wondered.

She looked up to see her brother’s profile. With those wonderful, muscular thighs and legs of his. Gary was a good, fast runner, so even if the rest of his body seemed more delicate, his legs would be like this…

She licked her lips as she watched his buttocks. There was nearly no jiggle to them no matter how he moved, confirming the firmness.  Alex started to stroke herself.  
  
[“Naked. Gary is naked in front of me. If I could just barge in there, we’d be bound to… Something would have to happen, right? Both of us naked, turned on, thinking dirty thoughts all day… Our bodies pressing together and… and stuff…”]

She eyed his semi-erect penis as he turned back to the computer, apparently turning down the volume, and putting on one of these striptease videos.

[“ I see. Not only will you last longer, but also, you don’t lose much from having little to no sound since they’re just undressing themselves. But, to do it twice in a row… Brother, you’re a beast… I want you to get wild like that when we’re alone together…”]

 

Her fingers teased the head of her erection. Neither Gary nor Alex were circumcised, although Alex had seemingly little foreskin to begin with. Even with this, the head was especially sensitive since it rarely came into contact with too much other stuff than the foreskin or her rather delicate underwear.

[“Do you feel like this when you’re stroking it, Gary? It’s… seeping some clear liquid out… this hasn’t happened before. Neither did it ever throb so violently for longer than really short periods of time…”]

She looked up again, and was treated to the sight of Gary’s full erection this time.

 

Gary had a proper coverage of foreskin, since he wasn’t circumcised, but now with full erection and after a few strokes, it was partially pulled down. The head of his penis seemed somehow different from hers. It had less color, with a twinge of something unnatural like gray. The skin there was just barely darker than the rest of his body, courtesy the large amount of blood vessels. Gary’s erection seemed somehow smaller than hers, although the difference was mostly in width, not in length. Still, it appeared pretty impressive, especially on the body of someone who wasn’t very big, either in bodily height or width. Alex felt her mouth water even more than when she saw his buttocks.

[“ I wonder what it tastes like… My dear brother’s body… No good… Slow down, Alex. You can’t ejaculate already, Gary just got started on round two…”]

 

She twisted her wrist as she added a little spin to her hand’s movement. Her penis was connected to the ground by a small string of clear liquid, but she was lost in a world of her own as she pulled the foreskin up and down, her hand rubbing along more than half of her shaft, occasionally teasing the head.

Her brother’s testicles, on the other hand, seemed much different from hers. Alex’s were smaller and their bottom seemingly overlapped with the very top of her female parts, at least compared to what she’d seen on “regular” girls. For some reason, it felt weird and a bit stimulating to her female and male parts alike to pull on her testicles or tease them, but just a bit of excessive force and she’d scream.

  
Gary’s balls were a bit bigger and with a little pubic her, unlike hers, which were utterly bare. She kind of wondered how it’d feel for him if she touched them and rolled them in her hands while he was masturbating.

[“Stroke it for me, Gary. Train yourself for the day you deflower your twin sister. I am very sure right now. One day I want to have sex with my brother. Any way possible. Stroke it faster, harder. I’m at my limit here, honey! Your sister is so very horny because of your little show. You’re such a dirty tease. You understand right? If you’ll do things like this, I won’t be able to control myself. If you rub this wonderful pretty body against your sister ever again, I’m gonna go ahead and force myself on you… Throw both of our virginities into a trash can…”]

 

She started to gently tease her lower balls and then her entrance with the fingers of her left hand, switching to the right for the male-part masturbation.

Her member was now spewing precum and her masturbation was giving off a shlicking noise, thankfully muffled by the walls and out-noised by whatever sounds the stripping girls were making – otherwise, Gary might’ve heard her. Similarly, Gary’s own member seemed to twitch and expand, his skin flushing, making Alex almost drool with arousal, excitement and sheer want.

 

[“… I don’t need something as useless as virginity if I get to have Gary… But…It’s no good… I’m just making myself hornier thinking all these dirty things… It would be wrong and I don’t think I’m courageous enough… but… but…”]

 

Her brother’s breathing seemed a bit irregular, and his strokes were sort-of losing tempo, falling out of any rhythm as he apparently tried to bring about a second orgasm.

[“If brother were to do these dirty things to me on his own… I’d accept happily… My heart would probably pound its way out of my chest, since it gets so fast and all just from watching this.”]

 

Gary was practically splashed onto the chair, his legs set wide apart and his back arched, giving Alex a wonderful if side-view display. She looked at every single slightly protruding bone and refined muscle on his body before returning her eyes to the sight of his erection, now again leaking plenty of that clear liquid. She continued to watch. These dirty strippers had some moves, and would have probably looked sexy to her if not for the clearly superior view of her albinotic brother on display. She could not understand why only she seemed to perceive him as so attractive. With his white skin and hair and those beautiful, lovely eyes, he looked like an angel from above. Yet, looking at him now, it was a very corrupted, lewd angel. The thought made Alex’s womanhood twitch and throb inside, and her erection seemed ready to erupt any second.

 

Gary picked up the pace, tugging on his member rapidly. Alex abandoned teasing her opening and was now jerking herself off with both hands.

[“Yes, yes Gary! Blow a load for your sister! Do it together with her! I want to see you displayed like that, erupting, shivering in ecstasy! I want to see that beautiful face grimacing as you feel the best pleasure possible! I’ve waited so long! I’ve held back so long! I know I’m a sick dirty little sister, but please indulge me today! Give your sister all this white delicious looking cream hiding inside these wonderful cock and balls of yours!”]

 

Gary’s head was thrown back as a thick rope of semen erupted from his shaft. Alex absolutely couldn’t hold it in anymore. Her voice trapped in her throat, she also couldn’t help moaning, which came out very croaked and silent, thankfully.

-   _….A….Ahhhh!_

She never felt like this. Her erection was pulsing and pumping enough fiery, thicker-than-ever liquid through it that it should be enough to substitute milk for her brother’s morning coffee, and he used plenty. Now, that was a thought. Making her brother coffee and exchanging milk with her own cum. It made her shaft pump semen even further as the weird, tingly feelings overcame her. It was as if a flashlight covered in feathers was turned on and vibrating in her crotch, making her feel all these sensations and radiance. Her shaft continued to spew the white liquid about, though it was losing the earlier-mentioned thickness and viscosity. Alex’ cock orgasms usually were pretty watery, so she was actually surprised at the early state of her load, even if it barely registered.

The load splattered all over the wall, covering it in wetness. She continued long after her brother was just pumping out the last drops, having held her first ejaculation unnaturally long just so she could see his second.

She was never so turned on in her entire life, and never felt so much pleasure.

 

[“So, If I just add a little Gary to that barely over mediocre thing called “masturbation”, it’s suddenly amazing?”]

Her brother got up. She licked her lips.

[“Yes, come here, you dirty boy. Your sister will personally wring the last drops out of you. I mean, if you see this wall all splattered in white liquid, there’s no way you’d misunderstand. You’ll know for sure. You will know how much your sister wants you. Your heart, mind, body, those sexy muscles, those dips and curves, those taut buttocks, the hole between them and that dirty penis of yours… everything. Every little thing! Come here and discover for yourself. Your sister blew such a scary load because you gave her such a show…”]

 

Alex was practically in the grip of something she hasn’t felt too often before. It was very similar to this dark thing that made her think extreme thoughts whenever Gary rejected her, but it was more… hungry. Voracious, ravenous, and vicious. It was like a part of her wanted to devour everything her brother consisted of, then fill him up with her own essence and keep him as a puppet – or a sex toy.

 

She slowly brought herself back onto her normal train of thought, which of course realized that, primo, her brother should NOT know that she saw and masturbated to the sight of him masturbating, and secundo, there’s no way to remove or explain the stains on the wall her ejaculation left. She more-or-less came buckets and the only thing that she had to remove it with were her own pajamas. She reached out and scooped a bit of her semen from the upper part of the wall, tasting it.

[“It’s no good. I’m just making my mind dirtier by doing this.”]

 

Gary gathered his clothes and left the room after turning off the computer. Alex, hesitantly, wiped her cream off the wall using her blouse and gently opened the balcony doors.

 

She really hoped that one day, she’d get to at the very least masturbate in the same room as her brother, if not have sex with him. For now, however, the walls between the balcony and the room, and the hidden way she had to do this, symbolized the distance between them.

 

Just like that, though, Alex’s sexuality was fully awakened. From that time on, she often became aroused when in presence of people attractive to her, and her brother was the most attractive most of the time, at least for the couple of years to come.

 

It would make her life difficult in the future.


	5. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - A freak's loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eventually, secrets like Alex' have to come to light, and when they do, they've to be hidden back again. When they're punished for what they are and pushed away, even bright and joyful ones get stained shades that are darker and darker.

It was problematic to say the least, that sort of event happening with the end of the school year still not that close by. After watching what Gary was doing, Alex found pleasuring herself had become a lot better, especially if he was involved in her fantasies or she was able to directly include sexual output about Gary in some way. Trying the first tentative touches about her womanhood and even the other hole while laying down on his bed, sometimes face completely immersed in his pillow, helped her realize just how sensitive her female parts could get, despite no evident magic pleasure spot on the outside of them that some girls interested in doing such actions might find. Imprinting the sight of him in various states of undress to stroke herself off to later. Finding out the names of the models or artists that helped him reach a level of excitement necessary for masturbation and imagining they were doing it together, or just that ‘this was they girl they were both using, were both making dirty’.

 

It’s not like Gary was *necessary* for her to be excited. He just made things *better*. Even a quick stroke without any input whatsoever felt significantly better than her first tentative attempts at masturbation from the time before she watched her brother do it, and that was what complicated her situation… and ruined her school life.

 

After all, physical education lessons amongst girls who entered puberty could be categorized as watching attractive people in a certain state of undress.

 

Some girls in front of her were certainly very girly. Smooth skin. Pretty necks and hairlines. Eyes that draw you in, and lips that promise something.

Some of them were not too tall to be perceived as less attractive because of it – unlike her at the time – but with legs that somehow went on forever. Some were not too plump or too thin, again, unlike her at the time, but with hips that just seemed to have the most delightful bounce to them.

Their budding, developing bodies, occasionally, only at times, made Alex think that these fictional people some folks read about, fantasized about, the ones that Gary stroked himself off reading and watching stories about *were possible*, as long as it was *these* few girls growing into them.

 

And now, because this was the time they were with another class, there were two girls of this kind in one room. With nothing but their physical education clothes on. Doing these silly warm-up and stretching exercises, next to each other. Right in front of her.

So it was all visible up close and personal to her. So it was making her angry about why she couldn’t be the one looking that way. It was making her jealous how easy it would be for them to draw stares of peoples they wanted to watch them. It was making her excited to see the contrast of their bodies compared to boys, and even to herself. It was *almost* making her understand why people found a lightly tanned, healthy complexion, a curve to the hips and their contrast with a flat tummy and visible breasts so attractive, at least in a girl, and why some people apparently were able to go for boys and girls.

 

Alex had nothing these girls had, except maybe for legs and height – but for her age, particularly for a girl, she was still a little too tall for that to be an asset. But she did have one thing none of these girls had, and that too was too well-developed for her age. Since her birth, and now still. If it was a boy, maybe they’d be able to hide it, but not a girl, and not when the size was, objectively for the tender age of fourteen, as big as Alex’ was.

 

And as such, when she got excited, aroused, and when it showed, it was not possible to hide, much less for anyone to miss it in a girl’s physical education lesson. In girl’s PE clothes, in a class filled with girls, doing exercises that caused your body to move around, clothes to slide, wedge, and unwedge, hiding something that was already well on its way to approaching the sizes average adult men packed and was throbbing and straining in clothes designed for a girl, in a class supposed to be exclusively for girls, was frankly simply impossible.

 

That’s what pushed her further down that slope, and that’s what started to make her realize just how badly she stood out in a world of normal people.

The following years were not a nice time for Alex.

 

 

 

 

** Two years later… **

 

Not a nice time at all.

Between her growing affection for her brother, even more quickly growing sexual desires and the dark mix that easily came as a result of the two, as well as one horrible event, much of her light-heartedness and cheerfulness was sapped over time.

 

Because not only apparently her brother didn’t share even half of the love and one hundredth of the desire she had for him, and made it quite visible, she also had to survive the worst thing.

She had her secret discovered.

It was a horrible day, and it was apparent what she was when she “popped a boner” during a physical education class.

Short things short, lies were fed to other children about her and she switched schools.  She hadn’t contacted Lachlan for some time since then, and overall, lost much of her vigor as well as, it seemed, all of her friends.

 

Of course, there was always this one constant. Her brother. Never ceasing to keep calling her “sister” and treating her like she was, indeed, a 100% genetic girl that happened to be his twin and happened to have problems.

 

His behavior was the the most unbearable teasing and the worst temptation for her already Gary-oriented heart. Throughout the process of her changing schools, he kept supporting her, making an effort to be nice, friendly, helpful with anything and everything.

It would’ve been so much easier for her if he was just his usual shy, distant self. Maybe the feelings wouldn’t build and accumulate on top of each other. Maybe if she didn’t have more and more reasons to feel he was so special and precious, she could give him up eventually.

 

However, having stopped contacting Lachlan out of fear that he would simply react as anyone else to the information that was the “official” version – namely, that Alex was simply a cross-dresser who wanted to become female in the future, still a better, less freaky and more believable story than her being a fully functional hermaphrodite, and also a more family friendly version.

 

Of course, said official version still marked her as a freak, but they allowed her to change schools with very little information leakage.

 

It’s not like there were so many people she was attached to, but it still hurt.

 

As usual in life, there were also some good moments. Occasional shows of affection and such a strong care on her brother’s part were very enjoyable even if they ended up bringing her pain a couple days later. Also, Uncle Adam finally had send her two small syringes of medications, which were supposed to, respectively, increase her female hormone production for a time while decreasing testosterone production, and to lower her sensitivity to androgens, meaning male hormones overall, for a while.   
They came with a warning that the ultimate result may not be what she had imagined and is hard to predict, and to not take everything in at once.

The results of the medications, which appeared after a while, coupled with Alex’s not infrequent working out and her finally naturally maturing and growing physique changed her into someone else.

 

Someone girly and attractive. Feminine, even. She was still tall for a girl, but now, at least, she had most if not all of the dips and curves a young woman’s body should possess. She went from being flat-chested to having healthy, perky breasts, now still fitting into a B-Cup bra, if on their way out of it – they seemed to still be growing. Much to Alex’s satisfaction, her newfound attractiveness wasn’t entirely lost on Gary. Or at least, his behavior would somehow suggest that she looked attractive or pretty. Never more than that, though, and the occasions were rare.

  
At her new school, however, a few boys’ reactions seemingly confirmed her suspicions – her “new self” was quite desirable to the male sex, at least, on the outside. Of course, the problem was that she was partially male herself, only one man currently in her life knew that – her brother. It still couldn’t help her get over the fact that Gary was seemingly only trying to be close to her due to protective brotherly instincts rather than any true attraction or affection, or that she wasn’t able to keep in touch with these few true friends she had.

It also didn’t help the shock that they had to cover up her story with a story that made people call her freak for a while.

 

It just hit her even harder : How odd, how much of an abomination was she, if they had to lie in order for people to barely accept that and still call that “made-up-story” version of her a freak?

 

 

 

She was clinging on to the last hope, losing which might as well cause her entire personality to collapse and she’d had to rebuild from the ruins and leftovers : that now she had properly grown into a girl, regardless of how much Adam’s “additional medications” – which were illegal and unethical, probably, but now, seeing the effects, she’d never complain - helped to cause it, now, she had at least a shade of a chance to attract Gary’s attention as a woman rather than as the fragile sister who had a bad accident at school. It was the only thing Alex wanted these days. To have a hug that wasn’t “I know it’s hard, but you’ll get over it”. To get a kiss that wasn’t “what are you doing, Alex?” or “there, it will be all better”. She didn’t want her brother to get so anxious and irritated when she required a little bit of skinship or if they somehow bumped into each other barely clothed – not that this was always unplanned.

 

Most of these were seemingly little things, but that would satisfy her, for now. Yet, she couldn’t get them for herself. They were all out of her reach.

 

[“Because… how? How could brother love a freak like me the way a man loves a woman? Does that brother-sister thing even qualify as love? It seems to get in the way too much. We’re close enough to tease and irritate and annoy me with delusions of something, but not close enough to… to do anything. Anything at all. Anything would be good…”]

 

She was checking her clothes for the day after tomorrow. Uncle Adam was returning for two days and they were going to get a couple rooms in a hotel, with a pool, for their reunion. That meant at least a little rest from all the stress…

Not to mention the possibility to show off her body… Or see Gary’s much less covered. Of course, he’d avoid the sun, but still, the possibility was there, when under the cover, or in the shade, or inside, or at evenings.

 

 

Alex smiled weakly.  [“Gary just in his swimming underpants? That’s a sight to see…”]

She looked over at her clothes. She tried so hard to look cute at the very least… And yet, those words or actions of confirmation were so rare.

[“Why is he always so distant… so harsh?”]

A sigh escaped her lips as she looked at the sets of clothes once again before throwing one of the swimsuits to the side.

 

[“I guess it’s all pointless anyway… Gary cannot look at me that way, can he? I want him to look. Only at me. Even for one day. Why is it so hard? Is it really so wrong because I’m part boy? Or is it because I’m his sister? Or maybe he’s interested in something I cannot provide? Why, Gary? Why? Can’t you see? I don’t give a damn! I don’t struggle because I had a boner due to a girl’s sexy round butt on PE and everyone saw! The only reason I’m struggling is… is… it’s because…”]

A single tear was shed. She spoke to the empty, shady room.

\- _You don’t love me. Not in the way I want you to._

She picked two bathing suits in case one got dirty or anything, and started hiding the rest of the clothes back into the closet.

 

 

She laid herself down on the bed, trying to ignore the obvious signs of arousal her body gave at the first thought of Gary in underwear. Her libido and sexual appetites were increasing at a no slower pace than her need for closeness, warmth and intimacy. Her thoughts were all too often filled with sexual fantasies of all kinds and she wasn’t always acting like a girl in them. Hell, they were not all about Gary nor even all about boys… not all were even one-on-one. But her brother was quite a constant element, and her presence in dreams or imagined situations was always one hell of a turn-on. She actually tried to research and understand what was wrong about incest.

 

 

But the words and images and stories and stuff would not speak a language her body or heart would understand. “Higher possibility of genetical disadvantages” in children did nothing to calm down the dull, hungry ache in her loins or the hardness just above them. Destruction of family bonds? Family bonds would be strengthened or remade by this kind of love, not destroyed. She’d grow closer and closer until her brother and lover was the most important person in the world to her, eternally. Social or law issues? Her erect nipples, dreamy eyes and bitten lips – the “products” of her seeing the albinotic boy anywhere close to nude would tell the world what she thought about those. God’s commandments? If the Creator had any hand in any of this, then he was a fool and a sadist –creating a girl with mismatched sex organs, a boy who was close to her and whom she fell in love with, and making it so they *shouldn’t* love one another as a man and woman? Who does that?  
Nothing made sense. Nothing could convince her or make her understand. Gary was the only person she loved as a sibling, the only one she seemed to love in a romantic way and one of the very few who really did it for her sexually. She didn’t think finding anyone better and more suited to her was possible, so explaining this as a “passing foolishness” or “brother complex” was out of the question.

 

 

 

[“You’re in deep shit, Alex. You’re a unique type of hermaphrodite with only a few people knowing the truth, one of whom happens to treat you as a girl you want to be, is physically attractive, can be very kind, protected you when you were kids, and you can’t help loving him. That person is your brother, so his and your relationship will never be acknowledged and it’d probably take hell for him to even return your feelings. Congratulations. Now, “miss penis”, go down. We’re not doing it today.”]

 

She woke up a little later than expected, going down tired. It took her a while to get to sleep with her head full of images of her twin in inappropriate situations.

He was there, also in his pajamas, equally disheveled as her. The two shared a quick stare at each, other, both unable to suppress smiles at the look of the other and the realization that they’re probably guilty of the exact same thing. She approached him and run a hand through his hair, before seeing what he was doing.

Cereals, taste - chocolate. Her favorite breakfast, recently. Of course he’d like it, too, which gave them a headache as to how save them and how to keep track of who’s devouring too much.

-  _So, you’re… Wait, two bowls? Did you…_

-  _Did I make you breakfast? Well, yes, considering you always keep feeding me too much, uncle is already here, we both overslept, but you did it so marvelously and we’re going to have a few more guests, I guessed I could at least save you some time._

-  _Gary, that’s so sweet…_

-  _What do you mean, you always make food for me. Stop acting like it’s a big d…_

His quickly approaching sister forced him to go back one step and bump into the table.

-  _A woman is entitled to her moods. I kind of want to act like it’s a big deal. Are you telling me that I cannot?_

-  _Seriously, Alex, it’s like I can’t do anything without you teasing me!_

-  _You should be rewarded for trying to be nice, shouldn’t you? Come here, let me give you a “good morning” kiss, at the very least._

-  _What!?_

Her reaching hands suddenly rested on the table on both sides of him. She was kind of slouching while he was stretched backwards and away from her, so there was a small difference in height normally barely there these days – he was finally catching up with her.

-  _Alex, seriously, stop that._

-  _Come on, just a peck on the cheek, don’t be shy! Did you imagine your sister kissing you inappropriately, huh?_

 

 

[“Ahhh, the sweet blush. You did. You totally did. You need to just ask, Gary. *I can’t help but think I’d like it on the lips more.*Hell, just say “all right, wherever you want” and I’ll act on that…”]

He started breathing a bit more heavily as she drew closer, moving one of her hands further on the table in the manner of a walking cat and still resting her other arm on the edge.

 

But then, someone walked in. Uncle Adam. Seeing two kids nearly all over each other, with their hair disheveled, both of them rather flushed, he couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow and ask.

-  _What are the two of you doing so early in the morning?_

-  _Ohhh, nothing compared to what we do at night, Uncle Adam!_

 

Both of the men shot her with a shocked glance and then Adam assaulted Gary with a death glare. Her brother was at a loss of words as she gently surrounded him with an arm and drew him closer to her body as if to reinforce the incestuous image in Uncle Adam’s head.

 

[“No kissing, so at least I’m entitled to this, right? Now go ahead, Gary. Make it seem like you’re an innocent young boy and your sister is just kidding around and teasing you. You imagined me kissing you and you were not going to stop me when I tried, right? So now you have to say these things, or Uncle will get the wrong idea. Or maybe we should simply make it the right idea?”]

-  _Uncle, she’s just joking. She was teasing me because it’s the first time since long ago I made her breakfast._

-  _You’re sure? You two really seem like you had a rough night. Or an interesting morning._

-  _Oi, Uncle, if he likes that thought too much, that part will press against me. Surely you don’t want to traumatize your little niece?_

-  _Not so little. And you ruined the image, you see. After hearing you say that, I believe him._

 

She looked up at him – the albino boy was blushing fiercely, his normally incredibly pale skin only providing a greater contrast to the red color, but noticed something which immediately made a good morning into an awesome morning. Despite the situation, despite the fact that her arm was wrapped around him and the other one was cutting out his movement moments before, Gary made no effort to physically push her away. Realizing that, she beamed him a smile that seemed to relieve some of his tension. She half-mouthed, half whispered to him, all to make sure Adam couldn’t catch it.

-  _We have all day. You’ll get it later._

 

 

His blush became so intense she started to worry about her brother’s health, so she resolved not to put too much eroticism or teasing into her behavior before they arrived at the pool. He squirmed enough for now, and she didn’t want his ego to deteriorate or him to start getting too angry or confused.

 

She grabbed her bowl of cereal and waited for Gary to sit down at the table.

[“Opposite, or next to him?”]

 

She resolved on sitting next to him. He looked, but this time she only answered with a gentle smile. She was sure someone as smart and perceptive as her brother couldn’t miss all the glittering in her eyes and the cheerful way her body moved, but hoped he wouldn’t get the wrong idea – that being her mood improved because she got to make him look bad in front of the uncle. The answer was obvious – she was cheerful because he made her breakfast and she got to have some proper physical contact with him, without him acting like she was burning or something.

 

Uncle spoke :

-  _You two shouldn’t act like that in front of your mother. She has enough worries, and you almost had me convinced, Alex…_

-  _Thank you. I practiced._

-  _Ha, ha, ha. Anyway, as you know, we’ll be having other guests today. Alex, they know about your… condition, so there’s little need to be shy. If you don’t want to be around them on the pool, however, we may simply seclude you a part or reserve it for longer hours…_

-  _It should not be an issue. Although, more hours on the pool sound great, so do it anyway._

-  _Fine, fine. I thought you’d say that. I’ll be upstairs._

Ignoring her uncle, Alex once again turned her attention to her brother. He really did consume a lot of her attention, anyway, even when talking to Adam.

 

[“You have no idea how much such little things mean to me, do you? I wonder. I wonder if it annoys you if I appreciate every little detail…”]

 She gently stroked his arm to get his attention. No jumping. No moving away.

 

[“I feel like Faust, suddenly. I’ll better wait for something better before wishing for this moment to last forever.”]

-  _Thanks, really._

-  _You should stop pressing that point. It’s really not a big deal, sister. You do these things for me all the time._

-  _It is kind of a duty of a woman, you know. And you always treat me like a girl, which I really like, so that’s what you get in return._

-  _It may be the duty of a woman, but aren’t you kind of forgetting something?_

-  _And what would that be?_

-  _I already have mother for these kinds of things! And, duty or not, it should be kept to specific people! I mean, you’re not MY woman, last I checked._

[“What do you mean I am not?! What the hell do you mean I am NOT!?! Wait, Alex, calm down. Maybe he’s… just checking. Needs reassurance. You shouldn’t scream at him or you’d ruin everything. “]

-  _I… I am, if you want me to be._ – she said, with a quiet, calm voice that was meant to be anything but teasing or joking.

 

Gary rolled his eyes, turning to her again before starting to check all the signs. Quiet voice. Gentle flush to her cheeks. Seeming like she was almost trying to hide from his eyes. He went beet red again and started coughing, almost suffocating himself with his own cereal. He almost lost the balance in his chair trying to swallow it all, before spitting out, literally at the table and then, metaphorically, at her. The coughing and spitting left a bit of milk leave his mouth and drop onto the table, and he even spit out a half-chewed flake of cereal.

-  _You… shouldn’t say stuff like that to people. Especially not when you’re joking._

-  _You shouldn’t just assume I’m always joking._

 

That seemed to break Gary’s little shell, if not in the way she might’ve hoped.

-  _Do you ever stop!? That’s it, I’m done with you! Try to be nice and that’s what you get!_

 

She gave her best “hurt” face at that, but in fact, was excited at her brother’s outburst. Very worried, but definitely excited. Seeing him this emotional, flustered, embarrassed… was rather rare. As a matter of fact, it was so rare that it turned her on a little.

-  _It’s because you say things like that that uncle and other people can misunderstand! Seriously, it’s so hard to be around you sometimes! I’m leaving! I’ll be in my room!_

 

He took his cereal, spilling a little bit more milk at the table. He stopped, wondering if he should clean after himself, but did not, and moved upward. Alex decided to do the cleaning herself right away, but as she was about to, she decided she couldn’t help herself.

[“ Stupid clichés about indirect kisses. Gary doesn’t even salivate that much, so it’s pointless! But, still…”]

 

She leaned over the table and licked the small stream of milk that left the mouth of her brother, along with eating one of the half-chewed cereals. She’d probably continue the unhygienic feast if not for the lack of “food”, as well as her uncle coming down the stairs. She instead quickly cleaned up and acted as if she simply spilled a little bit of milk.

-  _Where’s Gary?_

-  _He’s in his room. I guess he’s not in the mood for jokes._

 

Adam sighed and inspected his niece with a look. Apparently, what he was about to say was considered hard by his standards.

-  _Alex, I’m going to have a talk with you about your relationship with Gary. You both claim these are jokes, but there are too many of them, especially recently. Also, you do not always *look* like you’re joking recently._

-  _Talk is cheap, isn’t it?_

-  _Well, yes, that’s why I’m worried._

-  _Then, why do you want to *talk* about it? Just get a camera and check whether we bang like rabbits when nobody’s home._

Alex was speaking with a half-smirk on her face, obviously not taking her uncle’s worry seriously. These people were so concerned about incest, that they couldn’t imagine anyone normal ever thinking about it, much less committing.   
Her uncle was probably worried she may *entertain* the idea. It wouldn’t fit even in the brain of such a genius that someone he knew, thought of as healthy member of the family with at least average level of  intelligence and a mentally stable personality would go as far as to, rather than joke about it or just think about it, be already *dead set* on the idea. Because she was set on it. Occasionally, she made plans or spontaneously tried to lead to a situation where she would *commit* incest with Gary.

 

Adam, on the other side, went a bit redder with anger and embarrassment, and nearly smashed his hand into the table to emphasize his point.

-  _Alex! I am serious about this. This isn’t something siblings should even be considering, yet it seems like such a small thing to you!_

-  _Well, if you really are that worried, then I’ll ease your burden. Gary’s too much of an intellectual, proper and composed guy to engage in such disgracing activities, especially with his sister._

-  _I’m more worried about you._

-  _Oh, I see. You even suspect something one-sided, and I seem so desperate… Or is it that I seem slutty or dirty-minded? Well, if you really want to talk, we’ll talk. But, later, right?_

-  _Yes. I’ll be back with your mother. Make sure she doesn’t see anything that might be misinterpreted._

-  _I’ll keep my panties on, then._

-  _You have a weird sense of humor. And an annoying one._

 

She finished her meal and decided to go upstairs anyway. She had damaged relationships to mend.

Following proper etiquette, she knocked.

-  _Uncle’s out already. In case you want to talk to Gary, you may pretend I am not here._

-  _Brother, is something wrong?_

-  _Obviously. You went overboard. There’s a limit to my patience, nerves, how much I can take and how much I can accept, whether it’s a joke or something serious. Problem is, one may never know which is which with you._

-  _Then why always assume the worst? Why can’t you assume I’m acting like that from a positive light?_

-  _There’s nothing positive about not having the slightest idea what to think about your own sister’s actions._

-  _Gary, can I come in?_

-  _No. Stay away._

-  _Brother, please._

-  _I already told you. I don’t want another freaky situation. This is really getting on my nerves, Alex. You act so oddly whenever I do anything the slightest bit nice or kind for you._

-  _I’m just trying to appreciate your kindness! It’s you who goes overboard! You’re always so harsh!_

-  _See, now I’m trying to be angry with you, and you’re about to panic, right?!_

-  _I’m… not panicking. I’m trying not to. I’m really sorry._

-  _I can hear how “not panicking” you are._

-  _Brother, do you hate me? Please don’t hate me. I thought this didn’t matter to you that much. If it does, I’m sorry. You know I’d never do anything to put stress on you._

-  _Alex, we’re siblings. Your jokes were already overboard a year ago. Now you’re acting as if…_

-  _Please let me in. Please. Please don’t shut me out. You’re the only person I can really be myself around. I cannot be natural with anyone else. I won’t be able to stand it if you hate me. Please? I’ll do anything. Anything at all. Ev…_

-  _If you add “even if it’s indecent”, or something like that, I’m never opening that door._

-  _I’m… sorry brother. I’m really sorry. It’s sometimes so…_

 

 

 

 

The door opened. He was clearly angry, but he opened the door.

Alex kept the face of a deer in headlights outside, but would half-smirk, half-smile on the inside.

[“Just as planned… Though you had me worried. You shouldn’t worry me so much, Gary, or your sister will burst. She’ll either collapse or she’ll spit it out to your face. That confession you dread so much.”]

 

Thankfully, no one else was home. The loud thump from the floor above would have anyone down worried. The sound caused by one of the siblings tackle-hugging the other and sending them both on the ground.

-  _Damn it, Alex… shouldn’t have let you in . You’re not as light as a feather, you know. Let me go._

She withdrew obediently.

-  _I’m… sorry. I guess I really panicked._

-  _I honestly can’t tell if you’re still acting or not._

-  _I’m not acting! I really… I mean…_

-  _Listen, Alex, I’m not going to stay mad at you for long periods of time just because you tease me, or act silly and irritating. But you’re starting to become more and more confusing. And… You went really overboard this time, so, don’t expect me not to be angry._

-  _I’m honestly sorry, brother. I… I really care about you, you know? Much of what I tell… It’s serious, or half-serious. I mean it, really. When I speak of my affection for my brother, it’s almost never a full-blown joke._

-  _Is that supposed to be calming or comforting? Because, seriously  you’re, it sounds kinda creepy. I should be scared._

-  _Is it really scary that your sister loves you?_

-  _It’s scary when you talk about it that way._

-  _Love is love, isn’t it?_

-  _Sometimes, I wonder if someone was screwing up with your head when your brain was developing. Look, Alex._

 

He gently caressed her cheek and run a hand through her hair. She loved the attention, instinctively placing herself to make the touch more intense and cover more of her skin. She was barely stopping herself from purring and cooing happily. Gary seemed to notice, but he didn’t react.

-  _I know that, after what happened, you’re worried. You’re a bit different from other people, that much is true. But, I am sure if you look around enough, you’ll find a person to love you and accept you and perhaps you’ll even start a family. So, you don’t have to stay isolated and desperate and try to make do with a handy twin brother who is always around now. Go out there, meet some people! You’ll find someone right eventually. I… I probably won’t always be around, either, so…_

-  _But you already know everything there is to know about me. And you treat me like you’d treat anyone else. No, at times, you treat me far better than anyone else does. It’s difficult to find someone better than you, brother…  even if we assumed you’re just a substitute I’m taking because I’m afraid of being rejected. You set the bar pretty high for anyone else._

-  _Now, you’re making me blush! Seriously, Alex. You should…_

-  _You don’t have a girlfriend, and yet, I don’t accuse you of trying to make do with a handy twin sister, do I?_

She knew that jab was a little too low, but there was something welling up inside of her recently. And since she usually spoke her thoughts directly to Gary when they came along with the wave of emotion, she didn’t stop that ‘jab’ this time, either.

-  _Alex!_

-  _You’re not gay, either… I think? I hope. Maybe I should test it._

-  _Alex, you’re doing it…_

-  _~Kid-ding! Cheer up. I get where you’re coming from, brother. But, for now… I’m really happy when you act natural. I’m even happier when you act like you enjoy my company, but I don’t want you to lie._

-  _You know I really care about your well-being, Alex. You’re my sister._

 

She stood up and moved to leave his room.

-  _Don’t stay isolated here, okay, Gary? Also, I listened to your requests and advices, so you should listen to mine now._

-  _What is it?_

-  _Stop caring about my abstract “well-being”, and start caring for me as a person. That’s all I ask. The rest… will grow and develop as it should, I guess._

-  _Cryptic. Scary._

-  _Thanks for the tasty breakfast, brother. You should do it again sometime. See what happens._

-  _You’re joking. I already have enough just from doing it once._

-  _So, I’m supposed to interpret all that blushing and stuff as something bad? That’s just sad. You looked so cute._

-  _Are you trying to piss me off?_

-  _That depends. If you’re going to tickle me to death in anger, I might consider trying to._

-  _This will never end, will it?_

-  _Perhaps it will. Perhaps it won’t. That remains to be seen. Relationships change, don’t they?_

She finally left his room, leaving him to sigh in the back. Her skin was tingling at the places where he touched.

[“This is an obsession. Such reactions are not even natural, are they? He saw. He saw me pressing against his hand like some freaking cat getting pet. You’re such a tease, Gary. You didn’t pull away when I embraced you. You didn’t react when I acted like this, like a happy animal, around you. How am I supposed to interpret this? Are your resistances falling apart? Or are you simply so used to it? Did you think I won’t notice? Your sister’s perceptions are equal to yours, even if her intellect is not. Of course I’d notice.”]


	6. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - Greet the Pool of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Gary prepare to go with their uncle to rest for a bit as a family. Alex feels something new, and thoughts previously unimaginable appear in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. Boy. The beauty of having characters that are deutragonists and sometimes provide POV is that you can add so much more depth to them, but you begin to want to differentiate between these points of view in manner other than "This is what Gary thinks, and this is what Alex thinks."
> 
> I've never had that thought more than while formatting this chapter.  
> In either case, from now on, I'm striving for this :  
> Character thoughts are almost always described by me or quoted directly in [ brackets].
> 
> From now on :  
> * Asterisk at the start and the end mark that it is Gary's thought. [*I am Gary.*]  
> Anything else makes it the character's mentioned, or if no character is mentioned, Alex'. Ex. ["I'm Alex. Gary is his name."]  
> Anything else, yes.  
> When you read, you'll know.  
> So it begins, me actually using the warnings at the start of the story. Don't worry, it's not that bad, but be prepared for a distasteful shock or two along the way.

Her almost obsessive feelings were indeed growing on both an emotional and a physical – or rather, sexual - level.

Thinking about the later visit to the pool, Alex licked her lips repeatedly. Both from being nervous and from naughty images that came to her head.

 

[“How far should I go? Should I push him? Should I wait for him to act? Kisses, groping? Something obvious or subtle?...”]

She sighed. Yes, her mind was definitely going into the gutter now, imagining Gary in just his swimwear, and if his physical development “down there” was in any way similar in pace to his twin’s, there’d be quite the decent bulge in his swimming pants. The sighing was slowly turning to panting instead.

 

 

[“I want to see your hard dick swelling inside that swimwear of yours, brother. I’m not sure I will be able to contain that desire when I see you half-naked. I’ll guarantee my own piece of equipment will be ready to use, but it’s pointless if yours will not. I’m a girl, after all.”]

She shook her head, her feet slowly taking her down the stairs as she tried to contain herself and look at her desire from a new perspective.

[“Is that kind of thinking sick, because we’re related? Is it even more mad and insane because I’m his twin, and not just a “normal” sibling? Why do I notice so much about Brother? Normal crushes would have long since died, but this need of mine… It just grows stronger. It’s not like I’m doing much to stop that. I don’t remember wanting to stop it.”]

 

 

 

 

Yup, she was definitely failing with that “new perspective” thing.

 

[“-It’ll continue to grow stronger until one of us gives in and forces themselves on the other. It’s inevitable, isn’t it? It will either come around normally, or it’ll be quasi-rape. Alex, you dirty whore. You know you don’t have his patience, so why don’t you just do it yourself already?-”]

 

That strain thought…. Wasn’t hers, was it? It was scary. She shouldn’t think that way. Sex was only good if it was loving and fully consensual.

[“Yeah, right. Like you’d complain if you could jam that dirty dick up his ass, consensual or not. Or maybe we’d like it the other way around, my dear pair of mismatched sex organs?”]

 

That was even less of her own thinking. Something must’ve been in these cereals. That something was also making her own member painfully hard and her nipples so stiff they’d soon gain cutting properties. Yes, that odd ingredient, not these dirty thoughts that appeared from nowhere. She stopped, and briefly considered returning to her brother and asking him to fuck the dirty evil thoughts out of her, until she realized that also was a dirty evil thought.

 

She licked her lips. She seemed to do a lot of that today. She should employ someone to do it instead. Gary, preferably. Her head was now full of chaotic, sometimes conflicting, but definitely perverted thoughts.

[“I’m such a dirty girl.”]

[“-You mean slut. Whore. Bitch. Nympho. Which part of him do you crave the most, honestly?-”]

[“It’s those eyes. Those beautiful eyes of his, obviously.”]

[“-Well, that’s kinky. So, you’d jam one eyeball up your pussy and another into your ass and you’d cum from this? You gotta be shitting me. Be honest.-”]

 

She nearly vomited. Why was she having a conversation with herself? And why did it turn to such a disgusting image?

[“-That’s a thought. Dissect him and play with all the desired parts at once…-”]

-     _STOP! I’D NEVER DO ANY HARM! NOT TO…._

She fell on the ground, gasping for breath. The strange chaos of thoughts that were to wrong to be her own was slowly dissipating, and Gary was suddenly in the hall, approaching her quickly.

-     _Alex, is everything all right? I heard you…_

 

Alex then suddenly realized the evil… something may just be waiting to surprise her, take control of her and do these things to Gary when least expected. She had to avoid this.

-     _Stay away! Don’t come closer!_

Other than worrying about him, she was also worried about the situation. After all, she had all the classical signs of being, well, horny, and he was too perceptive not to notice. It’d be hard to explain.

But her brother did not listen, so she got up and run down the stairs.

-     _I’ll be fine! I’m just a bit annoyed! Don’t worry Gary, just prepare for the pool! We should have fun!_

She half wanted him to run after her, but he didn’t.

[“Maybe it’s for the best.”]

 

 

 

 

The trio of Lunarsons were packing their things in the fourth Lunarson’s car. There wasn’t much to take. Gary was ready and packed with two sets of clothing and a single set of swimwear. Alex had a piece more of both, whereas Alice barely took anything for herself and remembered mostly about some snacks for the group. It was a rare occasion, but not anything deluxe, so they did not need to go over-the-top with the packing.

 

Gary was rather satisfied with how the morning “conflict” with his sister eventually resolved. It seemed some of what he was saying was finally getting to her, and also, her own affections were less troublesome than he initially thought. .. It appeared she was really hung on the fact that he cared for something she perceived as abstract, rather than care for her, which, in her mind, probably meant more affection. At least, that’s what he managed to make out of the analysis of their talk and her behavior so far.

 

He wasn’t all right with affection. It was always difficult to give. Especially when your twin sister suddenly started to look like a woman should AND made “jokes” based on incestuous vibes. But, if it made her happy, he would be content with being just a bit more physically affectionate with her. He just hoped she wouldn’t try to get over the top with her demands once the minimum has been provided.

[*She probably will. There’s something wrong with her… Nobody’s so lonely and desperate to become so clingy to one’s twin sibling… These days, kids easily form and break relationships. Alex was always pretty, and now, she’s getting rather “conventionally hot” and attractive as well, so it’d be weird if no boys ever hit on her. If they did, why did she reject them? I mean, it’s not like treating your brother like such a catch is healthy… especially if he’s an albinotic nerd.*] – Gary thought.

 

He’d never be comfortable with this kind and amount of affection. It was just wrong. When siblings got older, they should drift apart a bit, at least physically. Meanwhile, Alex just became more clingy.

[*Her teasing seems kind of eroticized or at least overly… intimate this days. And dropping the bomb like that. ‘Oh, dear possibly-shorter-than-me-albinotic-nerd-brother, I’m yours if you want me to be.’ Come on, Alex. Guys will hit on you, and they can’t all be that close-minded.*]

He nodded, trying to assure himself.

[*Yeah.  I mean, if she was a boy that looks like a girl in terms of actually physical side and genetics, but she’s really and properly female no matter how you look at it….*]

 

Or was she?

[*Yes, she is. Breasts, check. Delicate-looking lips and hands? Check. Adam’s apple? No, sorry. Eyes? Girly. Belly? Nothing that goes on a guy. Thighs? Feminine. Hips? Sure, some guys like them and the bum bigger, but many prefer it a little narrow, and hers look nothing like a boy’s, anyway. Long legs. Maybe it’s the height that’s the problem, but seriously, if it generates legs like *those*, everyone her height or taller should be all right with it…. I mean, everyone not related to her. Why the hell I’m explaining my own thoughts to myself?*]

Shit, she noticed him staring. She gave him a wink and stretched in an over exaggerated manner, before entering the car.

With a whimper, he entered after her. Of course, she couldn’t move to the further-up seat. She had to sit DIRECTLY next to him.

-     _Can you move over a little?_

-     _Come on, you’re so slim, it’s not like you need all that extra space._

-     _Me being slim has nothing to do with it._

-     _Ah, so you’re worried about THAT._

-     _About what?_

-     _Come on, you don’t want me to talk dirty with uncle and mom around, do you? It’ll blow away our innocent image._

-     _Alex…_

-     _I’m quiet, I’m quiet! Come on, just sit. Surely, I’m not that scary._

-     _No, you’re not._

 

She smiled widely. He hated that smile. Made him feel an odd warmth inside, and ALWAYS spelled trouble. Her eyes sparkled in the most amazing of ways, and it spelled MORE trouble.

-     _Then sit down…_

Since his parent and her sibling seemed to become impatient with them, he indeed sat down right next to his sister. She made an overblown move to give him space, even doing a “my hands are up here” move.

[*So, I should be worried about your feet?*]

He sat down and reached for his belt. Of course, she was already handing it to him. Of course, her hand lingered  a little too long when their fingers touched.

[*And she’s back in the game*.]

 

 

He found it harder and harder over the years to be strict with her. Her actions were endearing and ego-feeding, and most of all, she made it seem so sincere. But most of all, what was making it difficult to oppose her were the looks she gave him.

Starved for affection. Grateful for attention. Melting at any gentle, warm, half-intimate touch.

How the hell could she make him feel like that just by reacting? So… manly and intimate and as if he was a wonderful person that was needed and made someone happy. All at once. He never saw anyone react in such a manner to his words or actions, and barely ever witnessed such expressions on stranger’s faces when they were with their own significant others.

 

He was ashamed it took him so long to notice all this. He was even more ashamed that every time he gave in, he begun to feel a miniscule amount of greater affection and, possibly, actual attraction to his sister.

The affection part was amazing, because it made them closer and closer, and such things seemed to always be good. He doubted his sister would ever truly, intentionally hurt him, even with how persistent and annoying her actions were becoming over the years.

But attraction? He couldn’t help but be disturbed by the notion. Genetics, ethics, religion, virtually every moral code out there condemned incest. This usually lead to him pushing her away every time the thought managed to break through the warm feeling being close to an important person caused.

 

It also caused him to try and rationalize things. Think. Overthink. Strangle whatever became of his bond to his sister to squeeze these improper feelings out of it.

 

Then, when he was already tired and empty and thinking it’ll be all right, somehow after a few tries, she made him fall again. Or made him sorry about the way he treated her during the “making things proper again” phase. Whether confusion from the odd warmth or panic at trying to preserve the ‘healthy’ nature of a sibling’s relationship, whether he fell into her pace and allowed for more than he should or broke away from her and got too annoyed or unkind to her, he felt like both were failures.

 

And it just drained him more and more. He wondered how long he could keep doing this.

 

 

Gary’s feelings for his sister by no means ever rose to improper or incestuous levels – he was still analytical and sane enough to recognize this as a fact. It’s just that he was perceptive enough to notice whenever anything improper slipped in from his side, and then, immediately, almost paranoically  tried to get rid of it and the source. He wouldn’t admit it but he wasn’t completely sure of the reason for him being so adamant about their relation being ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’, other than social acceptation and the way he was raised. Apparently, a few years back he was afraid about his budding sexuality turning deviant and trying to make do with a handy sister, which he believed would hurt his only true family bond, and ever since then he did all he could to avoid that.

 

 

And in this manner, things continued to happen.  A strange sinusoid of being too warm and too cold towards his sister. A sinusoid that started to become strained, chaotic and threatening to suddenly take a dip into the abyss of the lowest numbers, or to start growing and growing into who knows what if left unchecked.

 

He hated the situation wholeheartedly, also because he, deep down, knew his sister didn’t deserve the treatment he sometimes dished out. On the other hand, he also realized  also shouldn’t receive the kinder part of the treatment, especially if it was feeding into whatever brother complex she may have or pretend to have. If her feelings for him were indeed both improper and serious, or at least improper and determined to become physical, he should avoid giving her false hope.

 

But Gary had troubles recognizing and dealing with all these feelings, not to mention expressing them or seeking advice or dealing with them in a healthy, proper, fair manner that wouldn’t leave either of them hurt.

 

When he was lost in thought, he noticed her staring. It wasn’t the flirty stare, either. Rather… concerned.

-     _Are you worried about something, Gary?_

-     _Maybe. Maybe not. It’s a bit too soon to worry._

-     _~So mysterious, Gary. Are you suddenly on the teasing side yourself?_

-     _Why would I tease you?_

-     _You tell me. Maybe you enjoyed those jokes of mine more than you admit._

Gary was growing ever more confused by just what she meant by calling her words ‘jokes’. The sensation coming from around his general shoe area left no doubt.

[*No avoiding it. Alex’s teasing you AND playing footsie. Uncle can’t even see it in the back mirror. I wonder how much they can hear…*]

-     _Alex, stop that._

-     _Stop what?_

-     _You know quite well._

-     _Ahhhh, sorry, I get kind of anxious and impatient during car drives._

-     _You’re a bad liar, you know that._

-     _It’s not like you think that’s bad. And, you’re not a good one, either._

-     _What do you mean?_

-     _You think I haven’t noticed? You really think I’m dumb, or do you consider yourself all that subtle and smooth?_

-     _I don’t know what you’re talking about._

-     _It’s risky talking about here, so let’s wait until we’re completely alone, shall we?_

 

Gary’s thoughts and worries turned inwards again, not being able to surface. They so rarely were ever able to really come to the surface.

[*I suddenly don’t like the idea of being alone with you anymore.*]


	7. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - Our Little Game of Stares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex' cynicism about being able to feel the same depth of emotion she has for her brother with anyone else increases and starts to spill over, risking her true intentions being found out by someone other than him. He at least acts oblivious, but also wants the awkward resonation in their bond as siblings to stop, believing he doesn't understand Alex' attitude towards him after all.  
> Alex is reminded their family doesn't consist just of the two of them, but to her, it might as well.

Eventually, the group arrived at the hotel of their destination. Alex was very pleased with the assignment of the rooms : the older pair of Lunarson siblings would get one room for themselves, and the younger pair would get a room just for their own use as well. Gary seemed a bit displeased, maybe stressed, by that. Was he afraid that they may do more than pillow fights if left to sleep together, alone?

[“Brother, you shouldn’t be afraid of that. It’s the natural course of things. Hormones will have their way, eventually. It’s not like you were rushing this… And I’m ready, so…”]

 

There were things she knew she needed to consider, though. No matter how much she disliked thinking rationally about her chances with her own brother, since sometimes, those thoughts would make her depressed.

[“No, stupid, he’s worried that you’re going to be the one making all the wrong moves. I still don’t know how Gary really feels about all that. He seems to accept me as a whole, but… what If that doesn’t extend to romantic or sexual relations? What if he has problems and doubts about doing it with his sister, or with a dual-gendered person? How can I make sure he likes me? Should I just ask? How to signal that I’m okay with everything, that I want this, so he’d know I’m serious?”]

 

She sighed, waiting for her brother to finally come to their shared room so they may decide on how to share the room’s space between them. The bed was a joint bunk bed, which excited her even more. She wouldn’t even have to pass the room if she wanted to play, and she’d definitely be able to hear his breathing while he fell asleep.

Also, if Gary happened to want to masturbate… She doubted he would – his will was strong enough to withstand a few days, and besides, there was always the bathroom for this kind of thing.

[“I want you to like me. To love me. Desire me. Do you know I’ve grown so desperate I’d take anything? But, recently, Gary…  you are no longer resisting, at least not that much, no longer pushing me away, unlike you sometimes did. It’s… giving me hope, so, this time, with us being alone at night…”]

 

 

She turned around to the sound of the door opening. Gary entered, slowly, cautiously. There was a light blush on his face. The sight caused her to mirror said blush, given her thoughts moments before.

[“This is bad. He seems so unsure and irritated, and hesitant… He’s not going to make any moves like that. Perhaps I should just stick to acting like a pure little sister…”]

- _Hello, Gary, welcome back. I was wondering if you wanted the upper or lower bed. It’s a bunk, so…_

- _The sheets are of the same color, so it makes little to no difference to me._

- _I see… Then, if possible, I’d like the bottom one._

- _You can have it._

- _Thank you._

 

She gave him a smile, one more timid and tender than the beaming ones she delivered whenever he satisfied her need of touch or the more naughty, conspicuous ones whenever they got a step closer to crossing the line due to her actions. He seemed to become a bit more relaxed… while she barely held herself from licking her lips.

[“With your bed on top, all I have to do is climb on this small ladder, and you’ll have nowhere to run, Gary. Are you sure you can afford to relax here? Your sister is really dangerous and intent of getting rid of any pretense of chastity any one of us may still have… Such a naughty sister you have.”]

- _More importantly, brother, I’ve been wondering… Are you unhappy that the two of us are sharing a room?_

- _Well, it’d be better if we had single ones._

- _So, you are a bit unhappy. I thought so. It makes me sad._

- _Don’t try to guilt me into saying I’m ecstatic about sharing a room with you. As I said, it would be better if we had single ones._

Her smile returned, smaller, but with a little bit of naughtiness this time. Why couldn’t she stop teasing?

- _Is it because you need your privacy, Brother?_

His blush got the slightest shade darker, but he maintained his composure, as usual.

- _… Alex, please. Don’t take this too far. And stop joking about such things, too._

 

 

Alex decided to stop joking and instead appeal to both his brotherly love and the loneliness she knew they both sometimes felt.

- _I’m sorry. I want you to know that you can trust me. I’ll try not to do anything to anger you, because I want our whole family to have happy memories together. And this is a good opportunity for that._

Gary finally moved. Not only that, he was getting closer, approaching the bed she was sitting on, but still stopped mid-way. Her heart was pounding.

- _I certainly hope you’ll know how to behave yourself. I can take it if it’s just me and you or our family and we can all take a joke, but if you act like that publicly, with Uncle’s friends from work, there’s no way it’s gonna be all right. It would be really bad._

- _We’ll be fine, Gary. I’m sorry if I’m being a bother._

- _It’s not like that. It’s just that… I’m nervous around you, you know. I can never predict how you’ll behave. I never… know what to expect. And now, I’m worried you could impact our uncle’s image._

- _Nervous? In a bad way? That… wasn’t my intention. Then perhaps… maybe we should do something to calm you down. Like, let’s say, a hug._

 

Alex got up from the bed. She approached him very slowly, to ensure he was feeling secure. Unless Gary was being nervous there was even a chance he may do something to cross the line himself. With that in mind, she obviously didn’t want him to feel endangered, insecure, or “nervous” in any way around her. It could hurt their bonds. The troubling part was that she still sometimes spoke before thinking, and usually ended up teasing him due to his sheer adorableness and the strength of her feelings. She noticed him wavering, slightly, seemingly unsure of what she intended to do, even taking half a step back.

- _I can hug you, right? That much is okay, isn’t it?_

- _Y… Yes. I think so._

She gently encircled her brother with her arms, and, not so gently, but with only slowly-amplified strength pulled him close to her body. Moments later, it became a rather close and firm embrace, to ensure he would have to struggle if he were to pull away, but at the same time, to give him a sense of closeness and security.

 

 

Also, it worked to make him more conscious of her body.

 

For her own part, Alex was very happy when she felt his left hand starting to crawl up her back while his right slowly encircled her just above her waist to join it, returning the embrace. Her heart started to beat faster and faster. It was such a tender moment, Alex once again found herself wishing it wouldn’t end. She whispered in his ear.

- _See? It’s warm, nice and safe. I don’t want you to be so nervous around me, Gary. That was never my intention, on the contrary. Do you think you can feel more comfortable around your sister now?_

- _I think that’s something I should be able to do from the beginning… but it’s confusing and worrying…_

- _What is, Gary?_

- _Never mind._

- _You can tell me. If there’s something disrupting our family bond, I really should know. I… I really love you, Brother, so…_

 

The moment after she finished mouthing the words “love you, Brother”,  he visibly tried to pull away for a moment, but Alex held him close forcibly. Because her hands were holding him firmly in place, he quickly gave up on the idea and realized this wasn’t going to turn into a teasing session. Of course, the damage was done and Alex felt a twinge of pain and doubt at his reaction.

After a moment of silence, Gary spoke.

- _Alex, your heart is really pounding, you know._

- _Is it? I’m sorry. I am just really excited about this whole thing. I mean, I will be seen by other people wearing a swimsuit, and we’re staying in such an expensive place, and all…_

- _Understandable. But, if it helps, I think you have little to be ashamed of…  You’ve been growing up, getting prettier and even became less of a tomboy. Just act your age and it’ll be fine._

Did he just say something positive about her body? Something along the lines of it being attractive? Whether those were just words of comfort or truth, or both… she smiled and blushed a little. Even the small twinge of annoyance at her original tomboyishness being put down disappeared.

- _Thank you, brother. It makes me happy to hear you say that._

- _Ummm, Alex…Do you think you could let me go now?_

- _I’m… not sure. Can we stay like this just a little longer? So I can be sure? Lately, you rarely…_

- _I know. Sure, if you really feel like it…_

 

She pulled him even closer, hearing his ragged breath and a single gasp of surprise, followed by a gasp out of need for air. However, she ensured it was not strongly enough to cause pain.

- _Thank…_

 

She was cut mid-sentence as their mother suddenly entered the room, witnessing the twins hugging closely… with Alex practically strangling and smothering her brother with a powerful embrace. Alex couldn’t help but be irrationally excited at the idea of Mother seeing the two as an indecent-acting couple, but slowly, regretfully released her brother so he could turn to face her… still keeping a hand on his shoulder in something of a half-embrace. She wondered if she was reinforcing the idea that her brother hugged her a moment ago in Mother’s mind, or in her own. His body language seemed to suggest he also agreed to prolong the action, which almost made her forget that he nearly pulled away at the sound of her saying “I love you”.

- _Am I… Interrupting something?_

- _No, Mom. Gary was just… reassuring me. I couldn’t help but feel grateful, so it ended up like this. Is something the matter?_

 

Gary wasn’t pulling away now, though, nor was he in hurry to turn to their mother when she entered, truth be told.

[“Why the hell are you sending such mixed signals? How am I supposed to know? At least get an erection or something, so it’s clear!”]

- _I’m just here to make sure that you’re going to be prepared, all set and have no arguments, but I guess I worried for nothing._

- _Why did you think we could have an argument?_

- _Well, it’s not exactly like you’ve gotten along lat…_

- _Mom, there’s no reason to worry. I love my brother dearly, and I have reasons to believe the feeling is mutual. Teasing, jokes, mistakes and misunderstandings would never break our family bond.  I would not allow it._

 

She instinctively pulled Gary closer during her impassioned speech, but this time, she felt him react and withdraw.

[“So, that much is not okay as long as anyone sees? Or have I overdone it? Or was it me speaking about love? But, this time, I was only speaking about the blood-related part of my feelings, so why is he uncomfortable?”]

Their Mother clearly didn’t know how to react, so she decided to take the path of least trouble. Either that, or her own ability to notice and analyze relations between people has fallen to an entire new time low.

 

- _My, my. I never noticed those feelings were so strong on your part, Alex. See, Gary? You shouldn’t complain about how your sister acts anymore. It’s all in good faith._

- _You wouldn’t be talking like that if you actually saw the situations I complain about…_

- _Gary! You’re giving Mother the wrong image here!_

 

Both of them spoke at once.

- _What do you mean, wrong image?_

- _I’m not doing anything bad. I’m just being affectionate. Even when I “take things too far”, it’s nothing a healthy adolescent boy should complain about. I thought it’d be enjoyable! It’s all Gary’s fault for always acting like I’m pestering him. I don’t even know what to do in order for him to act as if he liked me anymore, so I simply try anything and everything!_

Their mother smiled, with just her usual dose of awkwardness. Apparently, she was utterly incapable of thinking the twins she bore into this world were capable of having incestuous feelings for one another, unlike their uncle, who almost caught on the not exactly subtle affection Alex was showing towards Gary as a hint of the improper feelings she had for him.  Meaning, basically, she would have to watch it when Uncle was around their home rather than in Canada, but with Mother… Things would be easier to play out and accomplish.

- _See, Gary? You’re making your sister worry. I wonder now if I shouldn’t interrupt your hug. You probably don’t show her enough affection. I know you’re both soon to be adult, but isn’t the fact that she still wants her brother’s affection sweet?_

Resignation and annoyance mixed in Gary’s voice as he was at a loss for words. He didn’t exactly want his mother to give Alex trouble just yet. He felt they’ve both had enough trouble already.

- _Mom, you really have no idea._

 

Both of the women looked at him angrily, although for vastly different reasons.

- _If he ever bullies you or seems cold and distant, Alex, tell me. Boys shouldn’t act like that towards family._

 

Both of the siblings could only think about how ironic these words have been in their mothers’ mouth in regards to the situation at hand.

- _I can handle this, Mom._

- _All right. I’ll leave you two back alone. Play nice and be ready. Today, we’ll have just a test run at the pools before going to sleep.  They just want to ensure you’re all able to swim and that no one is sick or allergic. Well, Adam also seems to want you to have a little bit of fun before bed time._

- _I’m  supposed to have a small talk with Uncle Adam as well. Where will I be able to meet him before we go to the pool?_

- _Just drop by our room, it’s number 17. You can talk while we go to the pool._

- _It’s supposed to be a bit private._

- _Then you’ll just go to the pool alone, you two, won’t you? Although, it is a bit unnerving that my brother and my daughter are keeping secrets from me. I hope it’s nothing bad. Anyway, see you two later, babies._

[“Mother, you’re suspecting me and uncle of “something bad”, and here you don’t see me trying to get Gary to get into my panties. I think my brother inherited all his smarts from his uncle, somehow.”]

 

 

Then, she turned to Gary. Being the vastly more extroverted and direct one of the duo, she couldn’t help but spill out her feelings of annoyance and irritation.

- _Why did you say all these things? I thought we worked this out. Weren’t we okay? Didn’t you embrace me?_

- _This and that are two different things, Alex. Somehow, Mother seems to think any strains on our relationships are my fault, where in truth it’s all caused by your inappropriate actions._

- _Inappropriate actions? What inappropriate actions? Nothing we do is ever inappropriate, because it oh-so-hurts-you to notice my feelings, at it’s a total pain in the ass to see me as a woman, isn’t it? And now you’re panicking. Did you want to get Mom on our heads so you’d have a little peace? Is that right? I am that much of a bother, even though you just said something else? You’d jump at every opportunity to cut short your sis’ annoying affections, is that it? How the hell am I supposed to read all that?_

- _There you go with all the babbling. Like a real woman. There, I acknowledged it. Happy now?_

 

Anger and sadness were added to confusion and annoyance, making tears somewhat well up in her eyes. On his part, Gary was trying to be adamant this time while analyzing how to best react in the future. He was starting to lose the ability to read when his sister was actually sad or annoyed and when she just wanted his sympathy.

- _You have no idea.  You don’t have any idea how much you can hurt me, do you? How I feel?_

- _Am I really supposed to be sorry because you do a little acting? Sorry, Alex, but that stopped working. I need to stop letting you confuse me so much with your antics. Stop letting you get in my head._

- _I’m not acting, you idiot! You should’ve finally noticed! You notice every other fucking thing, but somehow, when it comes to this, you’re dumber than anyone in the family!_

- _I’ve had enough of this. See you at the pool, miss!_

 

He turned and simply left the room. Alex groaned, and then begun sobbing. After a few moments, she finally let a small stream of tears run down her cheeks.

- _There. I’ve done it. He’s mad now. Mad! I called him an idiot. I called my beloved brother an idiot._

Another couple of sobs before she whispered into the room, barely mouthing the words.

- _I should just off myself, shouldn’t I? Be done with it and… and…_

Oddly enough, speaking those words aloud to the empty room helped her compose herself. Stupid teenage hormones acting up. It wasn’t the end of the world, both of them were just a little mad, and she was sad because of his reactions; now she made him angry and she just had to set that straight. While, for her, it was true that losing Gary might’ve been losing her only shot at love, one fight was not a reason to entertain such sad, dark thoughts.

- _We’ll make up. We’ll make up and be all good. And he’s going to tell me he loves me and then, we’ll do things as they’re supposed to be done. With the gentle on the bed things and “I’m happy you were my first” talk. Yes. You’re not getting away, Gary. I will always catch up. I need you. Nobody else. That’s why I’ll chase after you and fight, tooth and nail, every time there’s even a little distance put between us._

 

 

**About an hour later…**

Alex was now standing in front of room number 17, where the metaphorical dragon was waiting for her.  
Oh, well, her uncle wasn’t exactly a dragon. But, still. He was the only person so far who even managed to imagine she could be attracted to Gary,  or more than just attracted to him, and now, they were going to have a talk about that.

 

For a few moments, she entertained the thought of just coming out right in Adam’s face, confirming his suspicions, nay, surpassing them, by announcing the complete depth of her interest in her brother, but that’d probably result in separation and “treatment”, not to mention, apparently, Gary himself wasn’t fully aware yet – or rather, seemed to be in denial – so that course of action seemed wrong.

With a determined look, she opened the door, forgetting to even knock. She was going to dodge and elude her uncle’s point as much as she could, confirm or deny as little as she could, and try to figure out a way to throw him off the chase.

 

While being suspected or caught felt like an exciting idea, Uncle Adam was actually capable of figuring things out and even acting against them  - scientific and analytic as his mind was. Alex was prepared to lie or fool her own uncle, despite generally preferring to be honest and being a pretty bad liar to the boot. This was a special case of course, but still!

 

She was welcomed by her Uncle’s slightly deadpan voice:

- _Ah, so you’ve decided to come before visiting the pool. Very well, your mother’s not around and if I happen to annoy you you’ll get an opportunity to make your mood better later and then go to sleep once you’ve calmed down a bit._

- _I didn’t exactly plan this out, it just fit. And my mood’s already a little down, but let’s not worry about this now. You’ve wanted to talk?_

- _Yes, Alex. It’s… about a couple of things, including what you, I hope, joked about in the morning. Although, you’ve made it quite apparent that it was more half-serious than a joke if you ask me._

- _Oh, I don’t always keep my panties on around Gary, that much is true. I’m sometimes too lazy to completely dress when at home, you know._

 

[“What the hell am I even saying? That’s not helping my cause at all, right?”]

 

The small frown that appeared instead of a more regular, neutral expression that Adam’s face usually held said it all.

- _Looks like you really need that talk, Alex._

- _Maybe. And maybe I don’t.  Still, we’re having it anyway._

- _Yes. You see, Alex, your situation is… unique. In many, many ways. I understand you’ve been hurt by the experience in your previous school, and also that your own body reacts differently than many teenagers your age, and my help with your development might’ve made it worse. It’d probably be better if I just allowed your body to develop on its own. Right now, you’ve both gotten hurt and you may have a female element dominant in your body from my “treatment”, so you may lash out with your feelings for the people that are always near you, but it’s not an answer. You should wait till your body stabilizes, then figure out which partners go for you and which you prefer._

- _Oh, so me self-identifying as a girl doesn’t technically matter, I should just wait and do what my body dictates me. And, since I have both genders, it’ll probably all cancel itself out and I’ll die a virgin, or become a hopeless nympho that wants both guys and girls._

- _Untrue. Male and female hormones often partially cancel one another out when regulating sexual desire, and on the average, but not person-by-person case, male lust is more intense in early stages of life than the female one. I feel bad about disturbing the balance of your organism, so I’ve decided to act responsibly and have this talk with you. There are such things like homosexualism, you know. Liking girls does not stop you from identifying as female, and I actually worry I stopped you from developing in a way that might’ve been better for you._

- _Better? The world is over, families are advising their daughters to become lesbian now! How would it be better if I was into girls more?_

- _Women are generally more open to being bisexual and perhaps would be more open to someone like you. For a lesbian partner, you’d even be able to provide them with ch…_

- _Uncle, I don’t want to hear this. Not only are you spewing some almost sexist crap, I don’t think I’d be mentally comfortable being someone’s father at this point. Discussing it won’t help._

- _Still, if your body was directing your male side as a sexual outlet in a natural manner, girls might’ve been the better target. Males are more… close-minded when it comes to their sexuality, because of the way they were raised. You may be hurt more by them.  Transsexuals, which may be the closest to… your particular situation, are sometimes reportedly beaten up by guys who didn’t expect their “surprise” or for them to have a past as a different gender. It’s a tough world. This brings me to the point about Gary._

- _Yes, well, Gary doesn’t seem like the type who’d beat me up when he sees my little addition. We took baths together. Not to mention, there are many things to consider when having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone. How do you know a simple bisexual guy wouldn’t be my perfect match?_

- _That’s not the point. Or maybe it’s precisely the point. Gary may seem like a stable rock, plus is definitely male, always around you, and can be quite caring if he wants. Thus, he may seem like an attractive perspective. Do not mistake any affection he holds for you as romantic interest, nor the moments you share as potential sparks for something more. Gary seems to be the serious type, not to mention you’d make his own development awkward if you tried to pursue such a thing._

- _Are you even around Gary? Doesn’t seem so. I’d even risk saying I’m more suited to deduce on how he feels about certain situations.  I daresay with his lack of social and communication skills as well as catching on stuff related to real life and not science or nerdy stuff, he’ll be single for a while._

- _Yes, that’s been my feeling as well. That doesn’t mean you should follow the “we’re both single, so it’s all right to try” route.  Not to mention all the social implications and genetic complications that may come from trying to pursue your own brother as a relationship prospect._

  
Alex smiled. First of all, things were going oddly… smoothly. She didn’t have to strain herself to lie, all she had to do was continue with short half-truths. And her uncle’s viewpoint… That was it. That’s what Uncle was thinking and so, it’d be incredibly easy to place him on the right trail.

- _Well, you can relax, then._

- _That meaning?_

- _Uncle, I’m slightly offended that you think I’d ever go for a guy just because, conveniently, we’re both unattached and he lives nearby. In my own home in this case. As for Gary… I’m trying to get him to open up is all. Be upfront about his feelings, maybe a little bit more confident, too._

- _But what about…_

- _… Our relationship may be odd, looking from the outside, Uncle. However, it pretty much… creates most of the social interaction I need. Gary cracks me up, he allows me to get serious, motivates me when I have to study, creates tension that helps me deal with conflict and stressful situations… I guess practicing pick up lines or teasing him isn’t something a sister should do, but honestly, he’s just what I need at that point in life, right the way he is and we are. It helps me settle down on many levels. No shady business is going on, so no one is getting hurt, right?_

 

She gave Adam the most reassuring glance she could while feeding him half-truths and small lies.   
  
Of course, Gary was what she needed, but the relationship they currently had was far from what she wanted.  
  
Of course, she wanted Gary to be more open with his feelings and more confident, but only so that they could take more steps in their own relations.

 

Still, the look of relief and a hint of pride on Adam’s face told her she succeeded in diverting his attentions for now with pretty words and apparent maturity.

-So mature. You’re already behaving more like an adult than I expected you to, Alex. Oh, well. I suppose I’ll let you off the hook this time. But, don’t do anything that’d cause your mother a heart attack, and try to consider which manners of affection are all right between siblings, and which are not.

-I’ll take your words to heart, Uncle.

 

[“You’re a single scientist. What do you know about love? And… so silly and naïve, too.”]

Yes. Silly and naive. After all...

[“-Just this morning, we’ve both came to the realization talk is cheeeaaap, Uncle.-“]

 

 

 

It was time for the main attraction of this small family trip.

Well, it’d be an attraction for an average person, but Gary, while certainly not minding a little bit of physical activity, generally associated swimming with unnecessary sun and warmth, conditions that were, to say the least, not favorable to him.

 

Meanwhile, Alex herself obviously couldn’t enjoy the small evening test drive of the pool due to the simples possible reason : she did not know how to interact with Gary here, if at all, and she did not have the time to patch the latest small fight up with him, thus, any possible enjoyment of the fact that he was “scantily clad” and she was going to do some serious physical exercise, with a possibility of playing with Gary in a pool, was completely diminished.

That didn’t stop her from staring while the lifeguard explained general crap about the pool. It was just her, Gary, mother, uncle and a single one of Adam’s acquaintances, after all.

 

 

Gary could feel a stare practically drilling into him once he himself was done focusing on the lifeguard’s explanation… and turning around proved that he was indeed being observed. This lead to a direct stare clash with Alex, and surprisingly, neither of them frowned, though both were confused by the sudden eye contact. Gary found his own eyes drifting from Alex’s gaze while his sister shamelessly looked him up and down, devouring his form with her eyes once they were out of his direct ‘scrutiny’.

 

The albino boy had just a simple set of black-and-orange swimming trunks, so most of his body was bare and out there to see.  Alex was free to admire the delicate web of muscles playing under his skin. He’s been growing a bit hunkier thanks to the slow work of testosterone, though less of a dramatic change than the one she had with Uncle Adam’s – risky, illegal, and now apparently regretted - help.

 

Alex herself brought two swimsuits for this trip : a one piece, and a bikini. She opted for the former one today, but was still a rather tantalizing view, with her newly-acquired curves… and the swimsuit apparently getting a little too small in certain areas. It was yellow in color, accentuating her slightly tanned skin and strawberry-blonde hair nicely.  The way it hugged her curves also made for an unmistakable bulge in her lower parts, which she didn’t have to care about since the pool was private for them right now… but which she worried would make the view distasteful for Gary.

 

Right now, the two of them entered the pool, Alex jumping right in and Gary slowly going down into the water.  Alex would stop her own swimming routine to watch her brother’s bottom as it sunk beneath the surface of the water. Of course, she’d immediately dart back to a swimming position as the albino boy almost fully descended. Unknown to her, the first thing he turned to see was how Alex was doing. Watching her, admiring the way she seemed to be almost like a fish in the water, swimming with such grace and athleticism. He was a lot more clumsy in that particular physical activity. Still, he’d only watch for a few moments before she’d think she noticed, only to turn around and see him also swimming, albeit with less speed and grace than she did.

 

Once they’ve reached the opposite ends of the pool, and the rest of the people started to come in, the twins’ stares were once again drawn straight into one another, their eyes meeting once more.

Gary could not explain the phenomenon of feeling watched every moment he spent on the pool, or why he was gazing in Alex’s general direction so much.

 

Alex herself would just continue to observe him and ponder the situation.  
They were no longer fighting, but they didn’t truly make up.   
Their eyes just seemed to follow the other where they went.

It wasn’t really something she could explain. She couldn’t really catch all the little emotions in his own eyes nor transfer her own desire to be back on best terms with her brother with her own expression.

It was a weird game of stares.


	8. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - Night of Naughty, Night of Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her desire to make up immense and only overtaken by her wish to be perceived as something in addition, or even instead, of being a sister, Alex starts taking steps - bold steps and sneaky steps both - to try and have her affections realized. Certain walls have to fall sooner or later, after all.

 

Alex found herself again opening the same door without knocking. This time, it was less expected from her “host”, and said host was a different person to begin with. Funny how each pair of Lunarson siblings got a room, but Alex always only sought out one of them in it, and it was always a one on one meeting.

 

She didn’t know about how Gary felt on the issue, yet to her, Uncle Adam was a pretty decent “father figure”. However, the previous talk with him proved that he was a little skeptical about her particular chosen set of gender identity and sexual orientation, and thus, maybe, for once, her actual *parent* could prove more useful than the man from whom she learned everything about the birds and the bees so far.

_\- Alex? What are you doing here, darling?_

 

Her mother apparently just finished slipping into a nighty, and appeared to be in a decent mood for once, although Alex hardly felt like a darling the way her mother usually acted. Looking at her now, the girl realized she was likely to have the same figure as her mother once she matured - “moderately curvy but attractive” - if she kept going the way she did after she received a little “kick-boost” from her uncle’s injections.

 

This, of course, brought the question if Gary was ever one of these guys who feel attracted to their own mommy. She found it doubtful, to be honest.

_\- Mom… I usually have these kinds of talks with Uncle Adam, but I believe this time you’re the only one who can help me. At least, the only person I know of._

 

The look at her mother’s face was priceless. Care was fighting with panic, and losing. Despite her evident lack of preparation to deal with any of her daughter’s issues – she has tried to avoid dealing with them for most of the sixteen years, after all – nevertheless Alice forced herself to respond.

_\- W...well, if you think I’m the only one who can help you… What’s on your mind?_

_\- Mom, you probably noticed that I spent most of my life being a goddamn tomboy. In different phases of my life this might’ve brought popularity or friends of different genders, but when one actually wants to start dating…_

_\- D-d-d-dating?_

_\- Yes, mom. Or at least, you know, flirting. For the future. I have to get along with the people I’m going to try to build relationships with in the future, and as more as just friends sometimes, yes?_

_\- That doesn’t mean any parent likes to hear tha…_

_\- Mom, I have to at some point. And to do that, I need to switch from a tomboy to… something girly. Or at least something balanced? I just feel like I can’t get anywhere by staying the exact way I am now._

 

 

Alice sighed, but still considered fighting against her motherly duties forcing her to carry out such ‘awkward’ talks.

\- Uhm, you know, many people don’t think boyish… girls are all that bad! Granted, in terms of dating, that mostly…

 

[“-Fucking A, mom. Yeah. Paaause before you call your daughter a girl. Make a long pause.-“]

_\- Mom, I ain’t a butch or any of these things. I was doing things my own way for a while, but me and Gary spend enough time together to rub off on one another and he had Uncle Adam as a role model. Time that you imparted some degree of femininity onto me, you know!_

 

Her mother gave another sigh. This time, Alex found out she wasn’t angry at her mother’s behavior. This sight was something else. Resignation, but of another kind. Regret? Sadness?

_\- Darling, I gave up on having a “femininity” long ago. I may not be the best person for this._

_\- Mom, you still have experience. Way more than I do. Come on. Spare your daughter some advice._

 

 

Her mother’s defeatist attitude was discouraging at one moment and annoying at another, but Alex was pretty certain there was no one else she knew that could be of any help whatsoever. What does one do?

- _Okay. Okay, maybe I can help you. But what did you want to know?_

_\- Well, just the regulars. What can I wear that’s still comfortable and yet girly. How do I attract a boy’s attention or ensure he notices mine, without being completely blunt about it? How I ensure friends stay friends and romance prospects get that they can move a step forward? Annnd…_

_\- You want to know a lot of subtleties about flirting, all at once, young lady.It usually takes time to learn about these._

_\- I know, I know, but…_

Alice rose her hand to get Alex to be a quiet for the moment, and closer her eyes, taking a breath in. What followed was perhaps the longest “impairing parently wisdom” monologue Alex ever heard her mom give.

_\- We’ll try to figure out the clothing part later, but as for flirting… boys react differently to girls having different attitudes. Some don’t mind a girl acting more like them, but in all honesty, differences in behaviors are something casual but obvious. If he notices you fixing hair and smiling to him more often, or if you put your arms behind you and puff out your chest when you talk to a boy you like, he’s likely to understand something is going on. If this doesn’t work, you move to doing such things for him instead… fix HIS hair, give him a massage, and such, like that. It’s generally men that are supposed to give compliments to women, so if you give him a compliment that is honest and not fully related to the current situation… like, you are supposed to tell the boy who did your math homework that he’s awesome, but you don’t have to tell him when returning his notebook or notes that he ‘smells nice today’… he may catch on that. There’s honestly many flirting techniques and some subtler than others, but these rudimentary ones are quite good for showing interest._

_\- And if these… don’t work? He doesn’t catch on them? If preening up or hands-on approach fails?_

_\- Well, normally girls coquetteer guys through stuff like licking their lips of some more sticky food or… eating certain things… but it’s really hard to miss a stare combined with a roll of a tongue across teeth or lips if you’re NOT eating, you know? And… and if that doesn’t work…_

_\- Full offensive?_

_\- NO! A lady shouldn’t do that._

_\- But… what if the boy doesn’t seem to share these feelings? What if..._

_\- No, listen. There is one thing that you should ensure that you do before doing any flirting, and that is to make sure this boy is a good one and is indeed precious to you. A girl can get someone to adore her naturally without putting in much effort, but… but you should try and put in the effort if it’s someone good and special, and *only* then. If they don’t return feelings due to one approach, feel free to try to get to know them slowly, to naturally show off the side of you that could make them attracted to you… Changing strategy sometimes is the way, but, first and foremost, confirm that person is special! Do you understand?_

 

Alex had seen something like a shade of tears in her mother’s eyes. Did something remind her of a sad experience? Perhaps… dad?

_\- M… mom?_

_\- It’s okay, sweetie. I just want you to make absolutely sure… to not make a mistake m...many girls do these days. The mistake I think I did. You have to pick a man who won’t find it in himself to hurt you, and whom you won’t be able to find it in yourself to dump for someone out of raw passion. A special person. Even if it’s minor… a wound on the heart can make a woman a real bitch. So this is more important than pickup advice. We’ll… try to figure out what you look good in later, okay?_

_\- Okay, mom…_

_\- Now, let’s talk about a few things you do to get boys to be interested in you instead, shall we?_

 

[“This is a slightly unexpected but welcome development…”]

- _Yes! Of course! Yay!_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary was already sleeping. This wasn’t really good, as it’d mean no reconciliation between the two of them today, and tomorrow the “wound” may start to fester or they may naturally start to drift apart if they can’t make out fast enough.

Not even to mention the other obvious reason to wake him up, one that carried with it the little truth that made her smile.

 

 

[“Gary… in his bed. Sleeping. Defenseless. With only pajamas covering his decency, protecting his skin from a direct touch...”]

 

 

She felt blood surge to her penis at the thought. Well, even if things went *perfectly*, she wouldn’t be using *that* today – still, her mind reveled in dirty thoughts about her brother and the excitement they were bringing.

 

She found it funny how intoxicated she became from mere thoughts. How good could the real thing be? She wanted to try. Oh God, she wanted to try it so badly.

 

Grabbing the small ladder connecting the lower bed to the upper, Alex climbed the steps, slowly and carefully in the darkness. Moving onto her brother’s bed, she watched out not to touch him, well, prematurely, sit on him or wake him up, although, he had to wake up at some point in order for this to work.

 

 

He was sleeping on his back, thankfully. This made it easier for her to handle things, and it allowed her to look at his face.

[“Seriously, how do you call boys who look like that? Angelic? Magnificent? Stunning? Cute as hell? Beautiful or handsome? I don’t know. I want to eat you up, Gary. I’m barely able to take it. I want to jump your bones, do the deed, get down and dirty, however you call it. Then, I want to get kissed, pampered, hugged and fawned over by day. Then, we can be dirty at night again. And then… Marriage? It’s probably illegal, but, whatever. I don’t understand. I don’t get how you get more attractive and cause my feelings to gets more intense instead of dying out, even when we fight like this, the way siblings do. It’s illogical, and yet I find myself wanting it, hungering for it, for you… This may not be how a normal person, a regular  woman acts, but I want you to give in, indulge in it….”]

 

 

She was, by now, so excited that she started to pant… her arousal obvious now. Stiff nipples, moistness between the legs, and absolute rigidity right above said moistness. She tried taking a few deep breaths and calming herself down.

 

[“Easy, Alex. Slow down. If you start doing it when he’s asleep, it’s pretty much rape. And he was angry. Angry angry mad. You need to soften him up. No action tonight. “Miss Penis”, go down. Go down, I say. How would Gary react to his sister sitting over him with a boner?”]

 

 

It didn’t go down, so she shifted her clothes a little to better hide it. She looked back at her brother, who himself seemed to be rousing up a little.. Well, things were not going completely according to the plan, anyway, so she might as well wake him up right now. Only, how?

 

[“Kiss him, fool.”]

-I… I promised you this morning. I remember that much. So, I’m entitled to this. I told you. If uncle didn’t intervene, you wouldn’t resist. I could tell you wouldn’t.  So, I’m going to do this, and you just lie here, dear, and take…that…kiss.

 

After whispering this out, she leaned in and finally did something she wanted to do for at least five or six years, maybe not straight after the riot incident, but definitely quite swiftly in the time that followed.

 

 

 

She pressed her lips against her brother’s, effectively finally getting that important thing, her first kiss. Instinctively, Alex licked his mouth along with her own, but gave up on the tongue action quickly, knowing he would wake up and it’d be hard to either explain, or, at the moment, physically speaking, even force her tongue in. Instead, she continued with the soft, lips-only kiss, her mouth trembling at the so-much-desired touch even if it was taken with her brother unconscious.

[“God, more. Wake up. Kiss me back. Whatever. Take me now. I… I can’t hold back…”]

He moved. He was waking up.

[“I’m… just being my usual self. Remember what mother said? Sometimes, you can’t just keep doing the same thing, Alex!  He’ll never get closer to you like this. Pull away, lips. NOW.”]

 

Alex managed to win the battle against herself, just as Gary woke up and stared at her, obviously slightly shocked. His hand rose to touch his lips, which felt… slightly moist and slightly ‘violated’ to him.

_\- What… What have you done, Alex? And what are you doing on my bed?_

_\- Well, obviously, I gave you a kiss, and giving you one was the reason I crawled into your bed._

_\- Wh.. What?!_ \- Gary responded, almost getting dizzy from getting slapped in the face with that particular revelation.

 

 

Alex, however, continued acting as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do. To her, it was, but the still unblocked spillage of words might’ve been caused by how light-headed she was. Sheer excitement from the kiss was causing it.

_\- I promised you one this morning, didn’t I?_

_\- A… Alex!_

_\- Hey, don’t get the wrong idea. It was just a peck on the cheek, well, maybe a moderately long smooch. Who do you think I am, to kiss an unconscious person I’ve just had a fight with? I promised, so I gave you one._

_\- But then, why do I feel… My lips seem…_

_\- Well, maybe our lips did brush for a moment, it was pretty dark… Not what I meant to do, though. And I’m pretty sure you were touching my cheek nearly constantly. But that’s it. All else is your imagination._

_\- I honestly didn’t expect you to go out of your way to keep that promise. More importantly, why are you in my bed?_

_\- Well, how else would I kiss you?_

_\- Come on, Alex. With you, it’s the toss of the coin if it stops…_

_\- At kissing? Would you like to do more? ~Kid-ding._

 

 

 

He seemed increasingly flustered. Why was it so impossible to *not* tease him? He tried to re-compose himself. Something was different about both of them. If possible, they were both getting more instinctive, impulsive, and out-of-control with their respective thoughts and reactions.

_\- Alex, maybe something is eluding one of us here, and perhaps I’ve got my facts wrong, but let’s get this straight. We had a fight. And yet, now you seem intent to make things worse by ignoring the things that caused us to fight._

_\- I want to make up. I want to make up immediately. I’m not leaving until that purpose is achieved._

_\- What does this have to do with…_

_\- Gary. Gary, look. I am an annoying sister at times. I know. You’ve often behaved like you were conflicted on this for a long time, and I was too stupid to notice and understand what that meant. You’re quieter and probably more shy than me, and there’s nothing bad with that, it’s me who couldn’t adjust… I apologize for ignoring this, but at times, I also seemed to notice you liking some of my antics, and I’m afraid it partially encouraged me. I’m not sure how your feelings for your sister are at the moment, but you’ve always been there for me. Since the moment of my birth, I could reach out and my brother would be there. More than anything, this is why I love you. I want you to have nothing but the good feelings for me, too. That’s why I can’t stand you being angry at me, even for a moment. That’s why I’ve done everything to grab your attention. I realize now that probably wasn’t how you wanted our relations to be. I am sorry about… about everything._

 

Gary listened carefully, but seemed skeptic and shook his head.

_\- Alex, I don’t know what happened, but this doesn’t change a thing. You’ll just slip back into acting like…_

_\- Maybe I will! Maybe I cannot change immediately, but if you want me to, if you give me time, I can do anything. I want you to praise me! I want to hear that you care about me, that you think I’m a good sister, an awesome person, I want to hear all these things from you! When you say them, it matters much more than from mother or Uncle, way more, because you actually know me! The real me! You… you understand, you can tell a lot about how I am when troubled, and, and more… You’re the closest person I have, Gary, and I don’t want this to be ruined simply because I’ve been stupid and we didn’t understand each other at first! I don’t want the bond with my brother to go to waste, for him to stop caring about me!_

 

It was the oddest thing. She still felt so close to him as a sibling, and the increased impulsiveness, excitement… it made it impossible for her to say if she was speaking entirely from the heart, or somehow words that she knew would be effective on him were woven into that speech.

_\- Didn’t I say that…_

_\- No. You said you “cared about my well-being”. That’s not me. That’s not… caring about *me*, loving me._

 

Another proof of their closeness. She could tell what he was going to say before he did, and refute him immediately.

_\- You’re really that hung up over my choice of words?_

_\- Can’t you understand? I know you can. You’re so smart._

_\- Flattery will get you everywhere, as they say._

_\- Come on. We can understand each other amazingly at times. I can sometimes almost perfectly predict what you’re going to say, so try doing that now, please._

_\- I’m trying, believe me._

_\- Then, can we make up? Please? Wasn’t I a good girl?_

 

Gary felt like he was being pushed on the defensive. It was late, he was just woken up, and to be honest he wasn’t even sure how to approach his sister’s needy antics this time. The way she went about it and his own tiredness surely softened his earlier steel resolve to try and push her away while observing for better ways to influence her.

_\- You’re really bad at distancing and detaching yourself from things, you know? You get passionate about things too much and too often._

_\- If it’s about you, then I…_

_\- Stop, please. Don’t make it harder. Or weirder._

_\- Interpret it in a more positive light, please! Think of my words the way that makes you the most comfortable and you like it the most, okay? You never do it that way. Please. I… I need to…_

_\- Don’t try to tell anything in a roundabout way or force yourself to say embarrassing things anymore, Alex. It’s… okay. Let me talk._

 

The now distinguishably feminine twin nodded.

_\- F… Fine. Go ahead._

_\- First of all, you’re leaning in too close._

_\- And second of all?_ \- Alex asked, looking at him in a slightly flirtatious manner after removing herself by an insignificantly small distance. He seemed to be okay with even that.

 

 

 

_\- Look, Alex. I’m not going to say all this stuff you want me to say right now, because then, you’d essentially just win and get what you want, and things would probably get even weirder and more confusing between us… but, it’s not like the things you said were untrue or incorrect. If you only tempered yourself a little, instead of acting like we were something else than siblings half of the time, or teasing me as if I was a relationship prospect, I’d probably say them… Rarely but regularly. It’s hard for me to say a lot, especially if it’s embarrassing stuff, but if I know you need it, I’d sure as heck try to help you with it. But, I can never judge how you will react to what I say or do. It’s frustrating that you’re unpredictable. Interesting, sure, and I don’t think less of you because of it, but it is frustrating._

_\- We are something else than siblings, Gary. Or to be precise, something more. We are twins. And I catch myself…_

_\- Alex? Remember when I said to not say emb…_

 

She interrupted him anyway. She had to push the idea through that thick skull of his.

_\- I catch myself thinking, at times, that it wouldn’t be bad if we were just a little, just a tiny little bit more than that, even._

_\- You just had to say something confusing, didn’t you? Even though I said not to._

_\- Have I told you that I loved you? I’m not sure I stress that point enough._

_\- It gets weirder when you stress it. We’re siblings, and I’ve done a couple of nice things for you, so I guess you might feel that way, but if you do, it just makes me feel more and more indebted to you._

_\- There are a few ways we could even out any sort of a “debt” pretty easily… - Alex suggested in a half-whisper, leaning in even closer._

_\- Sis…_

_\- Am I forgiven? This is important. I want us to be on the best of terms._

Gary ended up sighing. Closing his eyes and opening them up again, he couldn’t find a way to put things coldly enough or diplomatically enough, so he just said what *she* wanted to hear.

-Of course you’re forgiven, Alex. I cannot stay mad at you for long, we’re twins. It’d be like hating a part of myself.

-Then, I’m glad. I was wondering…

- Alex, you’re too close. Really.

 

She pulled her head and body away from his own, immediately and more drastically this time. The way she blushed and panicked at the action made her seem really cute at the moment.

_\- I’m, I’m sorry! There I go again, making you feel uncomfortable, about to do or say something dumb! I apologize, truly!_

_\- Alex, what were you “wondering” about?_

_\- Just forget that! We should be getting to sleep, so I’ll be go…_

_\- Wait. You’re obviously agitated and disappointed. At least let me hear what’s the reason._

 

 

She pulled a little bit closer, one of her hands on his stomach, the other on his side. Gary, curiously, didn’t flinch. Truth be told, he didn’t seem nor was he uncomfortable, contrary to what she just whined about..

\- Gary, when I told you I kissed you, what did you imagine?

\- Hey, that’s not…

\- You can tell me. I’m Alex, your twin sister, remember? I love you and I’m hard to offend. I’ll take everything and anything. I can take it.

\- Alex… You telling me it’s okay to say it doesn’t change the fact I’m embarrassed to… to admit… and say such…

\- That’s okay, Gary. You see… I was wondering if we could… kiss like that. The way you imagined.

 

The increasing amounts of exasperation in Gary’s expression and voice could by now probably be *touched*,  not to mention heard.

_\- Alex!_

_\- See, you’re nervous. It makes you uncomfortable, so I didn’t want to say it… But then again, it proves I was right this time..._

_\- It’s just, it’s just wrong! We’re siblings! It’s not like it’s because it’s you, it’s because of the blood relation and…_

_\- It’d be our first time, right?_

_\- Yes, I guess that would count… with what I had… in my mind._

 

 

 

[“This is a miracle. Gary isn’t annoyed. Not pushing me back, or off the bed. He’s not even shouting… much.  I can make this happen. I can do it. Most of all, I want to. Please, words, form yourself into something that’ll convince him.”]

_\- Well, I guess if you feel that way, there’s no helping it. I just thought it may be a good way to reconcile, and since I’m such a bad girl, it’d be a good way to pay off the “debt” you feel you have… I’m just curious, Gary. I may not get to do it with anyone anytime soon, and it’s not like I’ll be forcing you into this regularly, so…_

_\- So you guessed, if it’s with someone you already know and are close with, it’d be better._

_\- Yes. We really are twins, you read me like a book._

 

Gary looked a little down, then realizing that if not for the darkness, he’d probably be looking right at her chest, cast his gaze to the side, a small sigh escaping his lips. It was time to admit his defeat after all.

_\- I’m… confused. I don’t know what to do._

_\- I sometimes find myself wishing..._

_\- Don’t. Don’t say that. Everything is… all right. It’s okay the way it is._

 

Gary was a little stunned at his own words, because he wasn’t sure whether he was saying that because he wanted Alex to be his sister or because he was essentially okay with the concept of adult-kissing his sister.

[*I don’t understand. I want to have Alex as a sibling, yes. But if it came to stuff like *kissing* her, it would be infinitely better if we were not related. Is the fact I’m uncomfortable with… what she may seem to want the only reason why I said she shouldn’t say that?*]

 

Alex seemed internally conflicted as well. After a few quiet moments, she responded.

_\- I’m not so sure._

_\- I can stand a lot, but there are limits, so, please, don’t push anything more onto my head right now, okay?_

_\- Yes… Yes. That would be too selfish. I’ll be leav…_

 

 

He grabbed Alex’s hand while blushing fiercely. Even in the darkness, on his bright, white skin, the intensity of a deeply red flush could clearly be seen.

_\- I… I want to make up, too. There’s a part of me that’s really uncomfortable and angry with all of this and it’s pushing you away and I don’t really understand any of this. I know this is all wrong and it’s not supposed to feel like this and everything is so goddamn messed up! But, I am hurting you a lot, right? You said that yourself. There’s something a bit off with our bond, but right now, there’s nothing wrong with it, and yet, I keep… hurting you…_

_\- Gary, you’re talking too fast._

_\- Point is, point is… Point is I am so indebted to you and I feel so bad about all this… and it’s not like… You know, you and me… It’s better than someone random, so…_

_\- Gary?_

 

They both blinked several times. Gary’s mouth stayed open for a few moments, then he shook his head energetically and continued talking. He was trying to ignore the way his sister’s eyes watched his lips in that short interval, and trying to understand exactly what brought this sudden desire to please her and reconcile to the surface.

_\- Let’s do this. This once. I’ll probably feel bad and never want that again, but we can. Just this once. I won’t exactly be able to say with public that my first real kiss was to my sister, but it’s not like I’ll be ashamed of it. I… love you too, Alex._

 

 

The hermaphrodite was squirming on the inside, the deepest part of her already somewhere between a land of milk and honey and Heaven itself. She tried not to show too much, but in truth, she wanted to dance, sing, purr, and do many other things.

_\- I… want to. But are you sure about this?_

_\- Don’t ask. It’s probably as sure as I can get about this, which means totally confused and not sure at all._

It wasn’t the most encouraging explanation, but Alex’ hearing – and most of her thinking – seemed turned off after he admitted being “as sure as he can get”. She leaned closer, starting to feel his irregular breath, the smell of toothpaste… How should she do it? He was awake. Chances are he’s going to panic or kiss her back and then panic. Going straight for the prize seemed wrong. Not to mention, she really was nervous. One wrong move, and Gary will never want to kiss her again. The teachings of her mother from earlier that day evaporated from Alex’ mind.

 

Slowly, she leaned in and delicately pressed her lightly pouted lips onto his. Her lips, still thin, slowly blossoming into ones that were more appropriate for her increasingly girlier self, simply connected with her brother’s, ones that were once completely identical to her own, not long ago – they just never really took the time to notice it. They stayed like this for a moment, and separated.

 _\- That was…_ \- Gary started, but his thoughts were a little

_\- … no matter how you look at it…_

_\- Um, was that…_

_\- Yes. A regular, pure  kiss between siblings. Not what I was aiming for, Gary. I guess… We should try one more time._

_\- You’re pushing it._

_\- Call it softening you up and preparing you. Ready now?_

_\- Yes._

 

This time, her lips were slightly parted open before they latched and closed onto his. His sister mustered every bit of patience remaining in her body to postpone the altering of the kiss, prolong each phase. Eventually, Alex switched to gentle sucking after his initial lack of response, feeling his lower lip slightly slip into her mouth. The girl’s tongue squirmed, shifted, and slowly protruded, again, licking the outside of his mouth tentatively… And then, gently, tentatively, she slipped the tip of her tongue inside her brother’s mouth, and then out, continuing the kiss. Slowly and unsurely, Gary returned the tender, but quite passionate gesture. Their tongues touched, danced for a split second, and, at an almost sluggish pace, they removed their lips from one another.

 

Alex was the first to break the short period of silence.

_\- Wow…_

_\- That was… nice, I guess._

_\- That makes me happy. You’re nervous, aren’t you?_

_\- Yes, but I think it may be the good kind of nervous._

_\- I am, too… though, you know, for me it’s definitely the good kind... I worry I’ll push it too far, but, Gary, every part of me tells me to do this… So, I’m going by instinct._

 

 

She leaned in immediately, and kissed him again. This time, their tongues clashed and danced with passion, together, and the kiss was longer.On Alex’s part, it ended up being even more hungry and passionate. Gary was left stunned from the assault. Slowly, he felt something pressed against himself from her abdomen.

 

[*Ah, Sis’ physique… Is that how it is? Is kissing me making her hard? That’s wrong no matter how you… wait, is kissing her making me aroused as well? Wait, stop, stop, pull away, pull away…*]

 

The kiss was broken by Gary, who panted as he looked into his sister’s eyes. A mix of amber and green met with his red. Between the twins, an understanding was finally present. She could feel his guilt was being buried under a ton of the exact same thing she has been feeling for the past couple of years, or at least something distinctly similar. In turn, her ability to *think* was getting buried by more and more of these very feelings.

 

It was a good thing they were so closely related, that they could understand each other so well.

No words were required thanks to that very aspect, after all.

 

Alex smashed her lips back onto Gary’s, her hips strongly pressing against his body. Gary’s hand squeezed the sheets as he looked for anything to grab to with the other, returning the kiss with full passion.

[*Damn, what is this? Is this what I wanted? What I imagined myself doing? What I secretly hoped her teasing would lead to? This is so wrong and bad and dirty. I almost want more. I’m taking advantage of my sister. Our sibling bond will be ruined, and my body only seems to think this makes it even better. Stop. No, don’t… and yet…*]

 

Alex thought’s were more in the gutter.

 

[“This is amazing! This is so amazing! I want this! I want more! I want to fuck Gary! Every way possible! Please don’t stop! Kiss me, devour me, violate me! This is the side of you I waited for so long! I’m a woman, you’re a man, so at the very least, do not stop this! Your lips are as good as the rest of you! I want to put my tongue in and lick your cheeks and your throat and have you suck my tongue and… god you’re sucking on my tongue… My dick is so harrrrdddd, my pussy is so so so wet! Never stop! Don’t stop!”]

 

Grinding her crotch against his body, she grabbed his free hand and put it on her breast, while changing the dynamic of the kiss and trying to suck his tongue inside her mouth. There was a small squeal when she begun to succeed, drowned out by saliva and her brother’s mouth. The two organs played a bit with each other, hers overpowering, stunning, and finally drawing his in, and Gary whimpered and half-moaned from under her. She felt his own male organ stiffen quite a bit under the covers. Hers was already close to full mast.

 

[“Make it big and hard! This will go inside me! I want that! I want you inside me, Gary, but I can’t remove my lips from yours and say it! So please, use that big brain of yours and take a guess!”]

 

 

 

His hand was extremely gentle with the way he cupped her breast. He only squeezed minimally for a moment and would quickly withdraw his arm if she hadn’t held it there. Her lips were on fire, and devoured his like a hungry animal, drooling and salivating just a bit too much. She let go of his arm and moved her own hands elsewhere.

 

It was finally clear to her that when she tried to ‘go by instinct’, there was more than one instinct involved. There was something deeper inside of her now, something so impossibly greedy it made her regular neediness seem innocent and humble by comparison.

 

But even that couldn’t stop the way her heart felt on the matter.

She felt his cheeks under her fingertips and moved them upwards, holding his face in her hands, lovingly, gently caressing it, wanting to feel everything. He was surprisingly warm to the touch, his skin uncharacteristically soft and smooth for a boy in quite late teenage years. His own palm moved to her cheek stroking it in the most delicate of ways, but the other one was very, very reluctant to leave her breast, and had equal problems being actually allowed to do so, yet finally the hand and her chest came apart… slowly, with the former making sure to cup a single last feel before it did, with a small, gentle squeeze.

She loved being treated like something easily broken on one side, while they were both clearly burning with violent passion and need on other sides.

 

 

Finally, they both broke the kiss out of need for air.

[“How do I say that? How do I get to the sex part from here? How do I make a move that… isn’t bad? Does he want that, too?”] Those were the thoughts in Alex’s mind. Gary either didn’t think much, or his mind was completely infested by the chaos of what just happened…

 

 

 

Her twin brother was lying below her, his hands now laying limp on his sides. He seemed flustered and very confused… and apparently a bit aroused or at least embarrassed. His skin was red from his blush – and probably from being tenderly suffocated by his sister’s intense session with his lips, his hair were disheveled. Gary’s lips were slightly parted, still wet, probably more from her saliva than his – she was a bit on the sloppy side when she finally got her hands and lips on her brother. Then she realized – during the kissing, she hadn’t even noticed when she started straddling him and only now became aware how much she grinded her erection against his lower body, and his own awakening one against her thighs and behind. Not exactly the kinds of sensations you’d expect during your first adult kiss with a girl. She blushed, but was determined to keep moving until stopped by the other party. Her hand reached to undo one of the buttons on her pajamas’ top, and that’s when Gary finally realized what, in truth, this might’ve been leading to… Or at least, that’s when his body and mind finally pushed themselves to action.

_\- No, Alex, wait! Wait!_

_\- Making me wait so long, and wanting to prolong it… But, isn’t this natural? That was hardly the way to kiss someone if you don’t want to proceed to that… part. At least if you ask me!_

 

Gary shook his head empathically, though he knew he let the reluctant part of him take the protest too far and react too strongly.

_\- I’m, I’m sorry! I let us get carried away, but I never… We still have to stop! Alex, this wasn’t supposed to go like this, I have reasons to apologize, you have reasons to feel disappointed but, but… This is still wrong! I’m sorry!_

 

[“B…but…”]

Alex paused. This hunger inside of her was teased and tantalized by what she has received, but hardly seemed to be nourished at all.

 

[“-Rape him. He deserves it. Stupid bastard. So, it is okay to kiss you, grope you, but when it comes to payment and he is supposed to stuff you with his baby batter, it’s wrong? Just do everything you want. Force him to ejaculate into that hungry fuck-hole of yours, then rape his sorry ass. Or in reverse. Or… -“]

 

Wait. Again.

[“God, what the hell I am thinking? This… This isn’t me! Gary said he’d be confused! He said he might feel bad, and we weren’t even supposed to get this far! This is good, Alex, don’t ruin it! Just… don’t think… about this… about the lips, the touching on the breasts… his erect cock slipping inside, and, and… and… DON’T!”]

[“-Oh, but please, do. How else are we going to get anyyywhere near sane and sound if we don’t run a few laps of a sex marathon with your brother’s holes, and his dick if we’re feeling nice?-“]

 [“T…This…That much is okay! It’s okay! I cannot traumatize him! I cannot make him feel any more bad about this than he may already do! I need to fix anything and everything bad and leave the good parts. If Gary sees me as a sister AND something more, even a little bit more, then desire for sex *right now* means nothing! The good influence was already achieved, the deed is done, don’t waste it, Alex!”]

_\- Of… of course. You were saying that from the beginning. I’m sorry, Gary. I didn’t intend… it got out of hand. I had so much of it kept inside me, I…_

 

Alex seemed to be unable to put her thoughts into words, but sighed and continued.

_\- I’m not like other kids, girls. I get like this… flustered, aroused… easily, way too easily, especially when... Well, you see,  I haven’t had this type of physical contact before, and I couldn’t predict what I’d feel like turning it into.  It was so good and intense…And I apologize I’ve shown you all this, that side of me. But, I’m really happy. I’m happy because you kissed me like you meant it. We just acted naturally, intimately, like we’re close to one another, and, and, and this was way better than I could’ve hoped, and you didn’t resist, no, you returned this… so please, don’t think bad of what happened. Think of it as playtime. Some naughty thing you wouldn’t tell Mom about, but nothing *wrong*. We didn’t do anything *wrong*, all right?_

_\- Alex, what we did was…_

 

To his surprise, she silenced him with a kiss. This one was definitely clean and sisterly.

_\- Amazing. That’s all that matters. Now excuse me. I’ll be back in a few minutes or so. Don’t be angry. Don’t feel ashamed. You’re a boy, I’m a girl, we crossed no border. We just… explored. I’m sorry, I’m babbling._

 

She removed herself from top of him and went down on the ladder. She ran to the bathroom. She was going to masturbate like crazy to the residing feelings of his fingers touching her breast and their lips pressed together.

 

[“Jerk off like crazy. Until you cum.”]

 

After a moment of afterthought, she figured out that might not be enough.

[“-Until you cum twice~!-“]

[“Yes. Yes. Until… twice… Going to be tiring, huh? Good, I’ll manage to sleep at all if I do that, maybe. Also, Gary may want to do it as well, so don’t just back rush into the room… Oh, yes, that’s a thought. Gary, please jerk off to thoughts about your sister. Leave the result in a glass for me to taste once I get back. Fufufu.”]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this, we're over halfway through Act 2. The Acts as you can see have varying length - the first one only had the birth and the schooltime scene, but this one's pretty long despite only covering a small number of days. I believe act II is the second-longest out of the ones I've intended, but things may be shifted around inbetween acts before the story's ultimate version comes to light.
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading and feel free to leave comments. The uploading pace should slow down a bit now, regrettably, due to duties and act III being the one requiring the most edits.


	9. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - Such Cute Siblingfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary and Alex have to deal with the awkwardness of the walls between them falling from their own deeds on the night before, and the pretenses under which both of them were operating so far are becoming quite transparent.

 

The next day…  


The next day, Alex was a mess.

 

A total mess.

When she laid back to sleep after her masturbation session, she couldn’t stop thinking about which part of Gary’s body was on top and which was on the bottom. Which was directed towards her, and which towards the ceiling.

If she crawled on top of him and took matters into her own hands, which part would be easier to access?

 

How long was his dick hard after their makeout session? Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it? A hot makeout session. The couples would share, but also the kind that doesn’t proceed further because of silly reasons like time constrains or one of their parents being in the next room. Just how erect did he get? Did he also try masturbating afterwards? If so, exactly what did he imagine when he came?

That was an assumption, however. Did he get to have an orgasm in the first place? If so, was it while imagining her body, the feeling of it against his?

 

It was so *hard* to resist throwing herself at him the moment she saw him. Just from remembering the taste of his lips, the touch of his tongue, the gentle squeezing and cupping of her breast, the sensation of his body as she rubbed her groin against him, it was all making her head go blank.

Turns out, when she received her portion of affection, things did *not* get better inside her head.

  
[“I seem to keep getting more desperate. More obsessed. It’s like an addiction. No matter how much I get, it just deepens the thing and makes me want more. It will grow stronger. No matter what we do, Gary, it isn’t enough, it may never be enough… Should I try to cure this thing? Is it like a drug? Would withdrawal be bad?... Is this unladylike? Mother always seems to pause for a little before calling me anything female or girly.”]

 

She saw the face of her dreams and obsessions as Gary stepped out from the kitchen, and into the room.

[“Aw-kward…”]

He sat down and gave a very shy, slightly embarrassed smile. But it was an honest one. She felt butterflies in her stomach.

[“God, yes.”]

  
_\- Is… everything all right, Gary?_

_\- You seem… tired. And it’s… weird, isn’t it. After yesterday. I just don’t want you to think…_

_\- You’re so sweet._

_\- Alex?_

_\- I’m not in the least bit embarrassed about what happened. I… am happy. Even if you can’t be, I don’t want you to feel bad about it, okay?_

_\- I’m… relieved. I wouldn’t want this… to come between us and… stuff._

_\- Don’t be ridiculous. How exactly would this come between us? Even if it’s a bad thing, I wouldn’t want anything to increase the distance. But, what we did… Was NOT a bad thing. I cannot stress that point enough. Please think the same way, Gary. Please. I need you to understand._

  
[“To hell with addictions and withdrawals. Gary is closer than ever. It’s like if he’s falling and I can catch him…Aa…a-and lay him down and straddle him and… I’m getting wet… Wait, where’s all this perviness coming from? I’m pretty easy to get horny, but not THAT easy!”]

  
_\- It feels difficult to understand, right now, or to cathegorize, but... What exactly… what exactly are you saying, sis?_

_\- I’m saying that… Well… It’s kind of difficult, complicated. I… I want to be honest. I want you to know. I… Between you and me, I…we… the two of us…_

  
And then, the doors opened, with the older couple of Lunarson siblings walking in.

_\- Sorry for interrupting your little secret conversation, but we wanted to make sure you’re set and ready and to tell you what we’re going to do today._

  
[“- I’ll kill you, Mother. Uncle, you too-.”] [“I almost had the courage. I was almost… almost ready, and you ruined it. It would clear everything up. I’m sure Gary would understand. He’d probably even accept my feelings, and you…”] [“-You…-”]

  
_\- You told us yesterday, mother. It’s insulting that you think either Alex or I would forget. Not to mention, were you eavesdropping? What the hell?_

_\- Watch your language, son. I’ve only head the part about something being complicated and your sister wanting to be honest, but I guess…_

 

Then, Uncle Adam cut in.

_\- Sorry about eavesdropping, but that reminds me. Alex, you still remember our talk, yes?_

_\- Do I seem so forgetful?_

_\- Good. I hope you’ve been behaving since then._

_\- Of course not, Uncle. I’ve done bad, bad things. Can’t you see the aura of sin around the entire place?_

_\- Smartass._

_\- She takes after you, Uncle._

  
  
[“Gary is on my side. Well, well, Elder Lunarsons, seems you’re about to get your asses kicked.”]

_\- And apparently, so do you. Since when you’re taking her side?_

_\- I think any teenager would be a little annoyed at getting a room only to be eavesdropped on in it and with people walking in anytime they want._

 

Gary wasn’t entirely sure what caused him to be so defensive, other than not wanting his sister to get in trouble for her shenanigans.

_\- Oh, and since when is bonding with your sister so important? It appears I should have a talk with more than a single Lunarson kid here._

  
Their mother seemed a little confused by the entire exchange, and finally interrupted it.

_\- Adam, is something wrong? Did they do something bad or what?_

  
[“Mom, you’re oh-so-bad at reading the atmosphere. I’m pretty sure that if you saw me straddling Gary while taking my pants off, you’d think we’re having a wrestling competition.”]

 

_\- They just… had me worried. Alex, especially. Nothing for you to worry about, sister. You’ve done enough for these kids, there’s no need for you to get nervous over something so small._

  
[“Like hell she did. Then how come Gary is the closest person I’ve ever had? How come she was *unsure* if I identify as a girl? How come three quarters of our growing up talks, sex talks and morality talks are handled by an uncle who lives halfway across the world? This mother of ours is the thing that made the connection between me and Gary so strange. Apparently, I cannot be his sister and his lover at once without problems. If this mother of mine didn’t mess it all up, it would be possible. I need Gary. I need him to be mine. And you two are in my way, even if I needed your help before...”]

  
\- _Sis? Sister, is something wrong? You seem…_

_\- Angry? Damn right I am angry, brother. We’re leaving. Now._

Alex grabbed Gary’s hand and tried to lead him out of the room, with their parent and uncle staring in disbelief.

_\- This is private. No eavesdropping._

_\- Young lady, the way you’re behaving…_

_\- Funny, how you only call me a lady without a second thought when it suits you, mom. I wonder what would you be calling me if you’ve had an appropriate word for what I am.... We need just a little bit of privacy, so let us have it. We are not doing anything WRONG._

__  
  
Gary was seemingly also stunned at her behavior, but when Alex grabbed his hand, he allowed her to lead him out of the room. They took a couple of turns and twists all over the place to make sure their “parents” would *not* find them quickly. Both of them were also quite shocked by their uncle’s words, although only Alex would admit to it - after all, it was the first time his words felt so entirely wrong and incorrect.

 

After one final turn, Gary was, much to his surprise, gently pushed against the wall. Alex placed a hand on his cheek, and stared deep into his eyes before admitting something that had to sound surprising at first.

 _\- I’m scared, Gary._  
  
These words were kind of contrary to what she was doing, and the dumbfounded boy could only respond with:

_\- Alex?_

_\- I’m scared that you’re hating me even when we become closer. I’m scared that if I abandon all the pretense and all the half-truths and pseudo-kidding atmosphere, you’ll end up scared or disgusted and push me away._

_\- Alex, I… think I’m starting to get the picture, but…_

_\- Please, don’t say it’s “wrong”. I will… try my best. I’ll show you. I’ll make it all okay. I’ll try to contain myself to whatever you’re comfortable with, I’ll really try._

[“-Liar liar pants on fire-.”]

 

_\- Alex, you’re making little sense, and the sense that you are making points to a direction that should be closed off._

_\- You kissed me, Gary. You were not just *laying* there. What do you think… If we didn’t know we were related, or if we weren’t related, what would happen?_  
  
Her albinotic brother started to go a little red at the mention of yesterday and possible courses of events that might’ve transpired. Getting worked up also meant he was losing a bit of his usual composure.

 

 

Something was different about this talk. Alex was not mentioning something that normally caused Gary to panic during these sorts of talks, while at the same time there was something in the back of her head insisting she’d fail to take the ‘gentle’ route and at the same time the gentle way of bringing her and Gary together was useless in and of itself.

 

She felt like she was lying in both of their faces when she took a ‘vow’ to try and restrain herself in any way. Like she was not able to do that anymore, but said it anyway because it was what her twin wanted to hear. Where did the sudden manipulativeness come from? Why did she feel guilt and such a visible split in her desires to keep her word?

 

_\- What *would* happen doesn’t matter! We are, and…_

_\- Stop, Gary. Please, stop. You’re the only one… There’s no one else. In your eyes, I’m a girl, regardless of body parts. If me being your sister is so much of a bother, we need to consider how to overcome that ‘bother’._

_\- You’re making me worried, Alex. Don’t you think this is a little too much to digest at once? I’d prefer it if you were kidding right now… just teasing your virgin nerd brother since we’re entering such a phase and all._

  
  


Two people left the room nearby, a man and a woman in their late twenties or early thirties or so. The woman was the first to take notice of them, leaning into the man and gently tugging on his jacket to bring his attention to the two siblings.

_\- Look, James, a couple sneaking out for a little tete-a-tete! They look so cute, just look!_

 

Unlike her immediate reaction, the man took a far longer look before voicing his own opinion, the scrutiny causing both siblings to go silent for a moment.

_\- Oh? My, my. We’re embarrassing them. Sorry, lad, excuse me, miss. But, well, since I’ve already seen so much, let me tell you something, older guy to younger man -  I saw that look in a girl’s eyes once. Hang on to her, that one’s a keeper._

 

There was probably a huge protest trying to make its way to the forefront of Gary’s response, but the proper words just wouldn’t come out for a couple moments as the couple prepared to leave. Finally, in a barely audible manner, he squeezed a couple of words out :

_\- Mister, you don’t understand, we…_

_\- Okay, okay, we’re leaving. Get your secret smooch or whatever you need. Come, Maria, they’re waiting for us._

_\- Good luck, you two! And if you like it, you should…_

_\- Maria, they’re too young for that! We should go now. See you two somewhere and sometime!_

 

  
The silence after the couple went away seemed so thick one could almost reach out and grab it. Both of the siblings were thinking about just why and how did the two strangers come to that particular conclusion.  


[“We… Look like a couple. A cute one.”]

 

_\- That was awk..._

_\- That was speaking for itself. Gary…_

_\- Alex?_

_\- What they said… Would it really be bad to hear it when people look at us?_

_\- I… don’t know, but it’s not something we should test._

_\- Just… think about it. Please. For your sister._

_\- Stop throwing sister in when it’s useful and out when it’s not!_

 

That was true. While Alex certainly didn’t want to get rid of the family bond they’ve had, it seemed like she entertained the idea verbally whenever it could lead to the two of them gaining some ground on the romantic level - or tried to convince Gary to ‘forget’ about their sibling relationship at these times.It felt wrong to do such a thing, and the apology that came to her mind seemed to immediately spill out on its own.

_\- I’m… sorry, Gary. That’s just… That’s just who I am. How I am. I’m… a terrible person. I cannot stop this. I’ll try to explain one day, but right now, this would really be too much for you to handle… So I’ll try and protect my brother from that side just a little bit longer, but it won’t last long. I cannot last long. Try to… understand. You’re the only one who can._

 

The level of cryptic monologue Alex’ apology had just made Gary shake his head a bit.

_\- I wouldn’t be so sure that I am._

_\- Stop talking, or it’ll also be more than I can understand and take. I also can only handle so much. Don’t break your sister. We only have each other, Gary. I’ll leave you alone for now, okay?. You need time. I’m sure all you need is time, so please think… about us, all right?_

_\- Alex, the two of us ca…_

_\- I can’t I can’t hear you! I cannot listen to this! It would be too much. I have only one heart that can only take this much, so, you will not say this, and I will leave. See you at the pool._

  
  
  
  
  
Alex indeed left then, leaving Gary with words unsaid and thoughts getting all mixed up in his head..

[*She’s on the verge of crying. My twin sister might’ve actually been serious all this time… All the crazy semi-pick up lines, romantic wordings, sexual and intimate teasing… all that… could’ve been real? What’s more… no, what’s worse, and she refuses to acknowledge such a thing would be impossible?. It makes her break inside and cry. And I… my stupid self kept her so confused all the time. I kissed her. I kissed her. And that made her *believe* all this. I made her believe there’s an Alex and Gary that aren’t siblings, or are more than siblings, or something… This is incest. This is wrong. Genetically speaking, morally speaking, ethically speaking, psychologically speaking. Alex should have some sort of block against this, right? She should prefer hanging out with boys or girls that aren’t her sibling... I’m sure something like this exists. Siblings don’t go thinking their siblings are dreamy, much less wanting to bang them. So, how can she even think that?*]

 

A - much quieter than his inner “voice of reason” - voice in his head called him a hypocrite.

[*Come on, Gary. The way she acted, you considered it at least a few times yourself. She’s just… way higher on the “wrong” scale. I shouldn’t, no, I cannot confuse her anymore. I have to find a way out. Even if it hurts her, it’s better to do it now than continue… This sick thing. This crazy flirting. She… She is so sweet, she was acting so determined, I almost allowed her to pull me along. Why? How can things get so difficult? No father, a sister that has people doubt her gender … And now this? Now incest? Is there no justice? No freaking concept of balance or goodness or a benevolent greater will in this universe? On the other hand, that may be just it. I was never a believer, Mother is just so… passive, so is the greater will of the universe punishing us, or something? How come I couldn’t see? How could I allow this to develop all the way into… whatever it is?*]

 

He had to fix it. Only he could.

 

[*Can’t I just be your brother, Alex? It’s still intact, us as siblings, our bond. I’m your brother. All you need to do is find someone who can fill the other important spots… but it cannot be me! I’m not fit to do it. And that’s without going into the “we’re siblings, this is wrong” stuff. I just think I am anything but good boyfriend material for a 16 year old hermaphrodite who just happens to be my TWIN!*]

  
  


Gary failed to realize this was the first time he really thought of his sister as a hermaphrodite rather than a girl.

 

If the albino youngster’s emotional intelligence matched his more traditional IQ, he’d probably realize with the two of them combined that there was no good way out from this situation - at least, not without standing his “moral ground” - and that it’ll all only go downhill. However, trying to be rational and not follow his heart at the moment he realized his sister was being IRRATIONAL and following her heart all the time just had to lead to something with rather bad, if not downright tragic, consequences.  
  
And because he was being rational, her or his feelings or people getting emotionally hurt were pushed into the background. He already surpressed a lot, so things like feelings of, or for, his sister being a little more complicated than just a normal sibling relationship, or his desire to not make her hurt anymore for now, were relatively simple to surpress even further than he might’ve been doing up until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter's going to be big, so it may take a while to edit. It's also important, so I want to make sure things are portrayed correctly as I intended them to be when I revised the initial draft for the story. I don't think many changes will be neccessary, though.


	10. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - Rejection of the Inhuman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex' ability to control herself continues to plummet, and her brother's confusion reaches its pinnacle just before he learns just how deep her feelings run, after hearing things that sound so horrible both about her and from her all day. Something has to be done. Is it what Alex wants to happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final update for Freak Love before the proper Christmas period. I thought a lot whether I should make this update, but given I'll be busy for some time after Christmas, I believe it is better to quickly push out the final updates that I can to people have more reading material.
> 
> That being said, if you value the Christmas/holiday atmosphere and are in a good mood about it, I'd recommend leaving this chapter for after you're done with these holidays. It's an important plot point, true, and sort of a breakthrough in the story, but it is still early in the story, and this particular breakthrough I fear is not likely to affect people's mood positively.
> 
> That being said it's far from the end of the story. This act has 2 more chapters still, although I could easily call these chapters part of the next act as well, or a separate arc. The story itself is less than half posted even with this update, but I did get a chunk of writing done again as well as important edits, so I feel better about being able to upload it before I get ultra-busy again after the closest busy period.
> 
> Nevertheless, the choice to read the chapter is yours.
> 
> As always, I'd welcome comments and constructive criticism both.
> 
> One way or another, I'd like to wish everyone a well-spent and warm time this Christmas. Whether you're a faithful and religious person celebrating something important, a spiritual person noticing that for many, this time is special, or just a regular human living from day to day thinking this is but tradition, I do hope you rest well and have a pleasant time with your families and friends. I also like to thank everyone for consistently reading this - the amount of views seems to be increasing at a very fast pace for this story - especially the people who left their 'kudos' or the ones who subscribed to the story.

They were visiting the pool again.

And, while there, some introductions were in order. Uncle Adam’s co-workers also visited, and as it turned out, they’ve already heard their own fair share about both Gary and Alex. Apparently, they were interested in both kids – uncle Adam didn’t forget to mention how smart Gary was or what exactly Alex was to his colleagues in the past, so some talk at least revolved around that. Alex quickly grew bored with the egg-heads and the atmosphere was clearly a bit strained between her and Gary, so she couldn’t take him along or try her usual shenanigans in both his and their uncle’s colleagues’ presence. She decided to go and take a dive inside the pool.  


As she did so, Gary noticed those “guys” staring at his sister, walking away in her one-piece swimsuit.

To be honest, he half-expected her to put on the braver bikini - though he was somewhat disappointed with himself for realizing he almost wanted the eye candy - but what she went with was better. At least, not too much showed. There was a slight bulge in an inappropriate place, but it’d be even harder to hide in a two-piece.

 _\- The body is still somewhat a failure, isn’t it, Adam?  
\- Do you really have to comment on these kinds of things in front of her brother AND her uncle?_ \- the male Lunarson responded.

_\- Her? Isn’t ‘she’… both? It’s visible, you know. You mentioned both sides work properly, unlike any intersex child or person to date. There must be another way to refer to Alex’ characteristics. Like “its”._

  
  
Gary’s eyes widened, gleaming with hints of anger, and he turned to the offending bastard.

_\- “Its”? What do you mean, “its”?_

_\- Well, I guess it sounds like she was an object, when in truth, she’s simply a unique specimen of a lifeform. I suppose we need to think something up. “His, her” for regular genders… Then... Xer? Xis? Xir? Hes? Hir??_  
  
Gary still attempted to control his temper, barely gritting his teeth when he once again asked:

_\- Excuse me. Just ***what*** are you talking about?_

_\- Well, as you mentioned, David, it appears the hermaphrodite’s hips and  pelvic bones are, at least as of yet, underdeveloped as far as bearing young would be concerned. This probably means that body is oriented towards the male physical build, particularly bone construction, unless the hermaphrodite developed shorter pregnancies with smaller fetuses and newborns._

_\- Have you ever done any fertility checks on her, Adam?_

_\- Listen, guys, really, talking about her in that way in front of her…_ \- Adam tried to salvage the situation, even if he was only partially as disturbed by the talk as Gary was.

_\- Her? Both of you used ‘her’, but didn’t I already mention that it’s not accurate? Let’s go with using “hir” for now._

 

Adam seemed to be having none of it and just finished the sentence as if he wasn’t interrupted at all.

_\- … HER brother is NOT all right._

_\- Come on, didn’t you say he had a scientific mind? You even consider inviting him to Korrine University, right? He should be able to detach himself and think of his … sibling as an object of research, shouldn’t he?_

  
Gary finally reached his limit. People shouldn’t speak of people as ‘objects of research’ simply due to something being a novelty. Alex had enough problems without that.  
_\- Excuse me, mister. Could you please tell me how long do you intend to continue calling my sister an object or refer to her in some mutated genderless pronouns before you finally acknowledge she is a person identifying herself as a female regardless of whatever sexual organs she possesses?_

  
The man raised an eyebrow and responded with the same high-and-mighty attitude.  
_\- That’s an unusual and unscientific point of view. You see, humans, in nature and by nature, are not fully functional hermaphrodites. Apparently, your sibling’s hormonal development is absolutely mutated as well, both kinds of hormones *increasing in intensity* of production as she ages. Said sibling also went through a pregnancy normally unseen in most human fetus development. You *do* realize that the being you identify as “Alex” is two people at once, in a sense? He… she… Xe? is your fraternal twin AND your identical twin at once. You see, fetus absorption sometimes happens during pregnancy, but in this case, it went differently from usual. According to my friend Adam here, your sister has sets of cells with three different combinations of gender chromosomes, most of them already a mutation as far as humans themselves are concerned, trisomic or above. It’s not uncommon for sex-related chromosomes to differ in number between cells, but to have three sets and be a functional hermaphrodite is unheard of. As often is the case, the additional sex-related chromosomes over the expected pair can be associated with slight intellectual deterioration, which is precisely why, or at least part of the reason why, your sibling is not as academically adept as you are, despite partially being your clone… sorry, identical twin. It’s also the reason why “she’s” not albinotic like you… an interesting quirk in and of itself. “Her” entire development is unpredictable, and, plus, we only discovered it recently, even her brain works differently. “Her” senses are sharpened and more developed than in normal humans. Basically, Gary, there is a possibility your sister is no longer a “homo sapiens”, meaning humans as we know them, but an entirely new species! Regrettably, to prove all of our thoughts and theories, we will have to wait for her to reach full physical maturity and start to have actual sexual relations. You wouldn’t happen to be able to confirm her sexual orientation and whether she’s had any encounters of the sorts already? In my belief, her being a bisexual or pansexual would be the most fruitful development. Asexual would just be boring because it’d suggest her sex hormones work roughly like they should in a ‘regular’ Homo Sapiens._

 _\- Sorry, Uncle. Excuse me, doctors, professors, or whatever. I see Alex as a person, and as such, I cannot listen to this bullshit any longer._  
  
Gary saying these words with an amount of righteous wrath that surprised even the annoyed and embarrassed Adam, but more importantly gave the blabbering scientists a moment of pause. Still, the man continued after a few seconds of silence.

_\- Heh, seems you overestimated your nephew, Adam! You’re nonobjective as usual.  He is still so young and…_

_\- I don’t want to hear you badmouth ANYONE in my family, mister. You may find your old bones just aren’t enough to take an angry young overestimated guy._ \- the younger of the two Lunarson men present stopped the apparent criticism of his uncle before it even started.

 

 

Adam was a little stressed – straight-up threatening an established scientist would not be a good thing for Gary’s future, most likely – but was also glad his nephew managed to silence his colleague for now. Teenagers being teenagers, they should be able to spend some time just taking it easy before the world falls on their shoulders with all its weight.  
  
  
Gary just ditched the scientists, and, in a manner eerily similar to his twin, moved to the edge of the pool, just in time to meet his sister swimming towards the side he approached.

 

   Alex looked up at her approaching brother, who leaned over the water and, as a result of her movement, herself as well. It was precisely as she always felt a scene like that would be - quite a sight and a dose of eye candy. Gary wasn’t exactly ripped. He had some lean muscles and practically no fat. He was, at the moment, just a bit taller than her – they always stayed close in height, and both of them had their periods of being just barely in the lead -  and very slim, just the way she liked. Though, perhaps she thought she liked men that way simply because Gary looked that way. It was difficult to be sure. She tried to not ogle and gawk at him too obviously, being quite aware her uncle and his colleagues were observing. Regardless of her overall feelings, she wanted to at least make sure she kept the promise to Gary when it came to not making things worse for their uncle.

 

  
His eyes were half-closed - to him an obvious reaction to the light. It was difficult for him to stay in bright places because of his condition. Just as it would be difficult, normally, for her to simply expose herself like that because of her own condition. Anyone looking hard enough at her, even in a one-piece swimsuit with just a little extra padding, could tell that there is just a little too much of a bulge on the front. Regardless of how much she moved “the thing” around it either looked or felt unnatural. As such, Alex never went out to the beach often, and while she enjoyed springs, summers were a trouble for her as she disliked dressing in a way that exposed *too* much outside their family house.

 

 

That’s the kind of twins they were. Both much different from the usual human. She wondered if it strengthened their bond over the years, this common sense of separation, of being different from others…

But, now he was speaking, and looking at her, and she was instead thinking about his body. As he spoke, she switched to thinking about his lips, which did NOT help. A little embarrassed at the slip, she blushed lightly.

_\- So… Sorry, brother. Could you repeat? I kind of went blank there for a moment._

_\- I’m tired of our “guests”. I wondered if you wanted to get a break from the swimming and grab something to drink. They’re supposed to have chilled soft drinks or lemonade around._

  
She reached out to him and he helped her pull out of the pool. Alex couldn’t help but put her other hand on his body during the action, which led to her arousal starting to build up from the contact, and a wet spot on his skin.

  
[“It’s so wrong, and yet feels so right. He’s tempting me, isn’t he? Is this on purpose, Gary? Do you want your sister to grow so desperate that she’ll rip your pants off you? That’s what you want, right? Dirty boy.”]

[“Okay, I can admit. This is me. Not that… weird, disgusting, forceful new voice, but me. Still… I’m just building higher expectations, am I not? Not very well-based ones either. I’ll just get more worked up if I think that way.”]

 

They turned and started walking towards the drink stand. It was close enough to the two separate hotel pools, meaning they wouldn’t risk Alex’s “gender identity” getting compromised to anyone.  She tried to brighten the mood and chat him up, partially to distract herself from lewd thoughts.

_\- So, Gary, couldn’t help but crave my company for a little bit?_

_\- It’s not a bad alternative, but, honestly, I just grew angry with the previous “company”._

_\- The scientists from uncle’s university? What, are they that boring? I thought you were interested in all that stuff._

_\- This and that are different things. Whether they’re a scientist or not, if they’re being a bunch of bastards, I don’t want to be around them._

 

That was rare. Gary was normally more composed unless teased sexually by his sibling.

_\- Oh? I rarely see you “pissed off”, Brother, and I have quite the experience. What did the eggheads say or do?_

_\- Ummm… I’d rather not mention it._

_\- Come on, come on! Worried I might pick up on it later?_

_\- I seriously doubt you would say something bad about yourself just to get me ang…_  


Gary stopped mid-sentence, realizing he spilled the beans, with Alex’s little smile growing to a full-blown grin. She turned to him, some surprise in her eyes in addition to pure, simple satisfaction from his admission, and handed him his own cold lemonade.

_\- Gary, you’re so sweet._

_\- You know, continuing to say that is just going to make me embarrassed, or unlikely to do any more kind stuff for you._

_\- It’s probably one of the chief reasons why I…_

_\- You say THAT often enough to make it pretty embarrassing, too._

_\- I can’t help it. You know that much. I really, truly l..._

_\- Don’t push it, sister. We were doing well here._

_\- Were we? If I may ask… have you been thing about what happened between us? I’m sorry, but… It was amazing, and I need to know. I’m going to ask often. I’m probably going to keep asking until I hear the answer I like, so if you’re afraid you may give in just to have peace, maybe you should just do so from the start… Although, on the other hand, it won’t help anything if it’s a lie._

_\- Alex, I was serious. It is… a difficult thing, I know. But, we cannot. You see, there’s a number of…_

_\- I’m not listening, not listening. Wrong answer, pick another._  
  
Gary felt a little annoyed, but mostly worried, at his sister’s sudden complete denial. Did something change?

_\- Are you a kid or something? At the very least, listen to why it is impossible. For someone pushy with trying to convince me, you sure as hell don’t let yourself hear anything that may convince you the other way._

_\- No, Gary. You didn’t really consider what happened, or wasn’t honest about it. We… have a connection. We’re brother and sister, all right, but there *is* something else. It’s on your side, too, I know this._  
  
Alex put her hand on her brother’s pale white cheek, smiling a bit sadly.  
_\- Lately, you see, I could tell we got closer, things got better. The way you kissed me… Do you know how aroused I was? My mind went completely blank. There was only one thought in my head, and you know damn well what it was. I think you realize just as well as I do where the situation would lead if only our relations were the slightest bit different._

_\- But they aren’t, Alex. Nothing… will happen. I wish I didn’t confuse you more by sharing that kiss. I’m sorry for leading you on._

_\- No! Don’t say that! That kiss was the best thing ever!_

  
She suddenly grabbed him, causing him to spill some of his lemonade. The close contact was rapidly making her erect, but she couldn’t help wanting even MORE contact. She was searching for something to say, but as always, Gary’s mind worked calmly and quickly, compared to her frantic, chaotic thoughts.

_\- Alex, I’ll cut to the chase. There are only a few ways we can do this. We can either try our best to deal with it ourselves, or we can try and get you professional help. I’m sure such things happen and they’ll be able to help you get over these inc…_

_\- NO!_

  
She pushed him onto the wall but held him firmly. He was then pulled back immediately. Alex’s actions shook his body hard, the girl unsure how to deal with the sudden burst of panic and rage. The only thing that stopped their scene from grabbing too much attention was the fact her voice was too broken to be loud, even as she tried to shout at him.

 _\- No! Don’t you get this? I want it! And you’re not honest with yourself! I could *feel* your excitement. Your dick was getting *hard* from *groping* your sister and her stuffing your mouth full of her tongue. Don’t deny it. You returned that kiss and got horny because of it, so why the hell are you lying? Why are you telling me it is wrong? You want this! You want me! Your sister made you horny and if your stupid inhibitions didn’t stop you we’d already have the deed done!_  
  
Gary looked around to check if anyone heard this outburst, blushing a bit but still keeping his temper in check.

_\- Alex, that was an uncalled for biological reaction. I couldn’t help it. Again, I am sorry for leading you on, but we should try and approach this rationally. It’s not like people only seek help for major and completely crazy issues. I don’t understand the basis for it, but I’m sure all you’d have to do is find a way to relocate your feelings, desires, or whatever it is that makes you feel like you do. If this is really difficult for you, I’m sure we can get you help._

_She pushed him back against the wall, her body and mouth following his, though, trying to kiss him. All this caused Gary to finally drop his lemonade, and the glass shattered. The way he dodged and pulled his lips away made her mind even more ablaze with lust, anger, confusion, and panic._

_\- I can’t believe this! What is wrong about this? How can love be wrong? Why does every part of my body twinge and pulse and feel good and want to surrender to more and more every single time we touch if this is wrong? Why can’t I just get you out of my head if this is wrong? You just said that, those strangers, they see me as something else, but you, you’re just as smart as they are. So why do you call me a girl? Why do you treat me so right? Why do you seem so sweet to me? Why why why? I can’t think of anyone else. I don’t want anyone else. I want you! You, do you understand? You kissed me, you touched me, so why do you think it’s wrong now? You acted on your feelings, so why is this wrong? Do you understand how difficult it all is to me?_

_\- Alex, stop. Let me get the glass. Don’t… be angry. We’ll talk about this._

_\- Answer me!_

_\- Calm down. As you can see, me being so ‘sweet’ to you is mostly in your head. I may not treat you as bad as some people did, but I am not the world’s greatest and kindest gift to you, either. Now, let me pick that glass up._

 

It was just a way to give himself some time to think and her some time to calm down. While he himself was trying to act detached, it pretty clear to him that his sister was much further gone than he expected, and as intelligent as Gary was, he knew he wasn’t wise, experienced, empathic, or mature enough to deal with it - then again, neither was his mother, and even uncle Adam might’ve been lacking - which meant for Alex’s safety he would *have* to take care of this on his own, or convince her to get professional aid if at all possible.  
He turned around and Alex started to move away, wanting to give him just a little more space - and yet, her body partially resisted that command and when he bended over, it wasn’t exactly the most fortunate of positions. Gary’s entire barely-covered backside rubbed against Alex’s crotch, right into her groin, causing her to gasp, then half- moan. She looked down, seeing her brother’s slippers-covered ass pushed against her, and she couldn’t help it but grind lightly against it.

 

[“Would that be better than the other way around? Gary’s ass is awesome, as is the rest of him, so that would probably feel… so good… There’s barely any control left in me…”]

 

He moved to throw the glass out, obviously embarassed from the contact himself, because she saw him blushing. He was trying to ignore the uncomfortable touch, but that was something she couldn’t recognize right now - her thoughts went somewhere else entirely. It felt like this odd second set of instincts, the new way of thinking and perception, was really being dragged out to the surface at the worst moment possible.

 

[“See the way that slut rubbed up against you? See how flushed he is? His body wants it, it wants every single part of you, he just doesn’t have the balls to admit it. Come on, Alex, what would be so wrong? Don’t you want your little brother’s white skin colored even prettier with a huge load? You’ve been keeping it\- inside of yourself for so long…- “]

She tried to shake off the sudden desire to use her cock on her brother, but her body seemed no longer able to handle her own lust.

[Oh god my dick is pulsing, it’s pulsing, Gary, come over here, TOUCH ME YOU BASTARD, ah, wait, no…”]

Then and there, with a sharp breath and a stifled half-moan, half-gasp, it happened.  
_-A… ahhnnn…_  


 

Like a hopeless premature virgin boy she in a sense half-was, her penis twitched, and she felt it pumping something warm and wet into her swimsuit.

Alex had an orgasm. With little to no stimulation at all. It felt incredible, exhilarating, sublime. If their clothes were off, her cum would be shooting out right over her brother’s body, which was the cause of this erotic release, and she was well aware of both facts - not that it made her mental state much better. She swooned and quickly sat down in the corner to keep herself from losing consciousness.

After several longer moments of panting, she managed to only spell out a single word :

 _\- Ga.. Gary…_  
  
Her brother seemed even more embarrassed from all the unintended petting, but at the same time unaware of her accident due to the bit of additional padding in her swimsuit that made her gender status just a little less obvious. However, noticing the state she was in, Gary got worried right away.

_\- Alex? Alex?! Is something wrong? Alex, what happened?_

  
Alex looked up at him. Her skin was flushed completely red and her eyes were lacking focus. Gary himself appeared confused, even a little scared, by that look after taking it in for a couple of moments.

 _\- I’m sorry, Gary. I’m sorry for getting angry. I… I tried, Gary. I struggled and strained against that, but… I cannot. I cannot take this anymore. This is… this is beyond what your sister is capable of enduring._  


Gary misunderstood the situation as Alex being embarrassed and ashamed as well as apologetic, so he just answered her calmly, concern clear in his voice:

_\- Alex, look. You can always count on me. You can always depend on me if it’s hard, but what you’re suggesting is…_

His sister still had the same half-broken, half-elated expression as she interrupted him.

_\- Can you listen to my request?_

_\- Uhh… Is everything okay? What can I do to help out?_

 

She bit on her lower lip, shivering as she looked at his own expression, her voice coming out as an unintentionally needy and seductive purr.

_\- Let’s go somewhere private, where there’s just the two of us, and…_

 

It took him a good moment to respond. More so than her words, his mind actually worked on the way she sounded and intoned that ‘request’ to process what she was asking for.

_\- W-wait. You… can’t be suggesting that right now…_

_\- Ohhh, but I am. Once it’s just the two of us, we will… you know... Do the things people our age do when in private._

_\- Alex, snap out of it!_

_\- There’s nothing to snap out of, Gary. I’m no longer… suggesting anything. I’m dead set on it. I want you to be my first, Gary. I… I want this, I desire it. This lust is so strong and I… and I…_ \- she stopped for a moment, looking for the right words, but finding only the ones she always spoke - _...I love you, Gary. This “incest”… I don’t care if it is wrong or right. I love you, not only as a brother. To me, there’s no other option. There just isn’t. My entire being *craves* you like air. Please do this for me._

 

There was a shudder coming from his body as she listened, although it was surprisingly late into her suggestion. It seemed like her first declaration of love caused no reaction other than listening to her intently, but for some reason, the second one shook him to the core and he quickly refuted her, voice quiet and subdued despite his clear intent to try and snap her out of her ‘delusion’. That, however, just made it easier for her to quiet him.

_\- Alex, no. Look. The two of us cannot…_

_\- Who says we cannot? Dad doesn’t exist. Mother doesn’t know and she doesn’t even act like our parent. Uncle? Uncle wouldn’t care if not for the genetics shit and society’s reservations. He told me as much. Since when do we care about society, Gary? It doesn’t like us. You’re an outcast, and I’m a total freak of nature. Please. Gary. Every part of me tells me we’re meant for each other. I love you with all my heart and soul and body, so why? Why can’t you accept and return these…_

 

This time, he managed to spell out his refusal a little more intensely.

_\- You’re too forceful, this is too sudden, too wrong, and I only see you as my sibling._

_\- But my breasts and my lips are good enough to molest as if I wasn’t your sibling?_ \- Alex responded, getting frustrated with how stubborn he was.  
  
Gary’s skin got slightly more red from the reminder of their contact the night before.

_\- Alex, please, calm down. As I said, we can work this through. I will offer any other support, but…_

_\- Do you want to be seduced or raped? Is this what you want? A girl who won’t take no for an answer? You’re making me into this. Into a forceful lewd woman. I cannot have you refuse. This is beyond my ability to accept. To understand and live with._

_\- I’ll… I’ll leave. I’m sorry, but I’m leaving. You obviously need to calm down._

_\- You could calm me down pretty easily, brother. Just give me what I want._

 

Gary already turned away and was preparing to leave by the time she finished that sentence. His response was short.

_\- I cannot do that. I’ve repeatedly told you this is a thing we can’t do._

_\- You will. I’ll do *anything*, Gary, so prepare yourself._

 

Gary sighed. It was a miracle they didn’t manage to bring a ton of unwanted attention, and it appeared there was something indeed going wrong with the entire development. She looked at him, and saw in his eyes that he probably wanted to do something for her, but worried what it’d lead to. He turned and left.

[“I think… I think maybe trying for Uncle’s university is  a good idea after all…”]

 

 

Alex’s mind was in a whole different kind of mess.

[“Leaving your own sister in such a shameful state.\- I should make you lick that swimsuit clean-.”]

She got up and quickly ran to their room, ignoring any people on her way.

[“Why can’t you see? -Don’t you care about me?- Why are you so stubborn? I cannot handle this, Gary. I cannot stop *now*. I want you.”]  
  
Her breathing was becoming rapid again, and the erection in her pants ceased to subside, left at a semi-engorged state.  
[“I can no longer wait. I wanted to soften you up, to make you comfortable, then relaxed, and then affectionate and cuddly with me before we got to the sex part, but you keep doing this shit and I cannot resist anymore. I’ll be even more aggressive now, and -if you keep resisting, I’ll- *steal* your precious virginity from you, and then I’ll stomp on these worthless morals of yours until you’re begging me to commit the dirtiest, most incestuous acts imaginable with you.”]

 

She stopped in her tracks. These kinds of thoughts were overcoming her again, somehow… Taking a deep breath, she tried to settle down and allow her body to come down from the high of extreme arousal and sudden, wet-dream-like release. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the angry, but sexually agressive thoughts.

 [“That’s not right. I love my brother. This kind of thinking is… It’s not the way you treat a loved one. I was supposed to change my strategy about these things. Why can’t I? I’m getting worse instead of better! This kind of thinking is wrong!”]

But something in her head was screaming that this wasn’t true anymore. Not for her. Not for the two of them.

[“-God, I’m so stupid. Why deny this? It feels so right. To see Gary squirm and call my name and beg me to make him orgasm with my body… That’s where he belongs, that’s what he’s meant to be, an outlet for my desires-. Gary’s my twin. He’s a part of me that was torn away and -must be mine again- for me to be happy. He just cannot see this yet. He cannot see he’s destined to sate and quench the desire of both of my sexes... -I’ll show him his place, ohhh, I’ll show him like hell. Yes, that *will* be the kind of siblings we’ll become. Dirty perverted siblings. A sex slave and his double-equipped, insatiable Mistress.-”]  
  
Her breathing was shallow and fast again, and her groin was confused about whether she was aroused and looking for sex, or not. She opened her lips and spoke upon entering the emptiness of her own hotel room.

_\- I’m sorry, Gary, but I cannot fight it anymore, and I will make sure that you won’t fight it, either._

  
She slipped out of her cum-stained swimsuit, now completely naked in her own room.

_\- It would actually be better if you came to apologize soon, Gary, but you’re probably too scared right now. Wasn’t he sweet when he was scared? Oh so incapable of dealing with his own twin’s desire and arousal. All you had to do was take me here and stick it in, or let me stick it inside you, whatever. And it’d deal with all that. Instead, you’re acting like this._

  
A small part of her was getting worried over the sudden influx of uncontrollable desire, and even more so the rather objectifying thoughts she had about her brother. Mainly, she realized that thoughts of being in the penetrative role when having sex with Gary were much more frequent than in the past. Back when her sexual fantasies first started, she was the girl, he was the boy, and that’s it. Later on, she did play around with the idea of having both of her sexes interact with her brother *somehow*, but now… Now, ever since she seemed to gain a new, odd voice inside of herself she just wanted to have sex with him in all possible ways. The warm fuzzy feeling she had when they hugged or when she imagined them sleeping together or cuddling afterwards, or the overwhelming feelings of adoration and care she had for her brother were also rapidly disappearing, completely consumed by this odd, unnatural lust.

 

 

It was as if before, those dirtiest desires she could ever possess were like a separate, smaller person hidden inside her, and now, that person was emerging from her psyche fully grown. Gaining control over her, even.

 

[“Who gives a crap. As long as I get Gary into the bed… no, not exactly. As long as both me and Gary get off while having sex, I’m fine with everything and anything. My dick in him, his cock in me, whatever.”]

  


She started to put on something a lot bolder than before. Originally, she didn’t want to put on her bikini piece, knowing that if she were to move around the hotel in this, someone would be sure to spot that she has her panties more stuffed than a girl should. The one-piece swimsuit was easier to pad out to stop her member from moving inside and making the situation *utterly* obvious, but in the bikini there’d be both accessibility and absolutely no doubt as to her configuration downstairs.

Well, if someone spotted her when she was hanging around Gary in these, her panties would probably be a LOT more stuffed, wet and sticky, or even straight up useless.  
  
She realized something when she got that thought, and immediately tested it in practice - sliding  a finger over her female parts. This caused her to shiver from the sensation.

[“How does this crap work? I can never really understand it… not enough sexual experience, I guess… Do these parts get aroused separately, at once, partially in sync? I surely can orgasm from only a single one without an orgasm from the other, so how it’d feel to be stimulated with both of them at once?”]

She licked her lips.

[“-I’m gonna have to do a little experiment related to that with my boytoy later-.”]

  


She slid the panties over her legs and somehow stuffed her naughty bits inside them, not bothering to spare a second thought over Gary being reduced from her beloved twin brother and soulmate to a “boytoy”.  

[“Let’s go braless, show him how they’ve grown. Fufufu.”]

  


Despite the stray thought, she did put on the top for the underwear. The bikini swimsuit was a dark purple. She remembered considering red and black for a long time before going with something she saw on the computer in one of Gary’s carefully hidden photo-shoots a few years back. The swimsuit was very recent and nobody had a chance to see her in it yet, and if she continued to grow she might have trouble fitting into it pretty soon. She was definitely gaining some feminine assets without compromising the growth of her member, which combined made her feel more of a sexual being than ever before.

 

She quickly returned to the pool, to witness her brother, mother and only one of Adam’s acquaintances already there. Her Uncle wasn’t there, and Mother wasn’t even capable of considering that Alex wanted to get down and dirty with Gary for two or more years already, so this was quite a good situation for her. While the third party might be a problem, she was delighted to see he seemed completely absorbed with both her mother and the book he was reading, so there was no chance he’d actually be observing her and her brother in the pool. Gary himself was already in the water, enjoying the fact that it was already sunset, little light on his sensitive skin and delicate eyes. Thinking little of it, she jumped into the pool as well – rather silly of her, as she then had to waste a moment to shake off the effect of sudden change of temperature - and swam towards the boy quickly.

  
_\- Wanna race? Or are you too scared?_

  
Without another word or waiting for his answer, Alex begun to try and overtake him. Gary had a small starting advantage and somehow, her words had the intended effect of provoking him and egging him on despite his own attitude towards such sudden and silly challenges.

Her brother allowed his cautiousness to slip. He should’ve remembered Alex was a much better swimmer than he was - after all, she spent much more time outside – not to mention, unlike him, Alex *could* go to a sunny beach  - assuming the beach was safe at a time of the year, which wasn’t always guaranteed with Australian wildlife. Despite this, he didn’t seemed surprised at all when she was at first dead equal, and then started to lag behind him. Just when he was about to win and get to the end of the pool, Alex picked up the pace. When he stopped at the other end, turning around to announce his victory, she practically pounced on him, having him back out into the edge of the pool.

_\- Caught you, ~Gary!_

 

That was certainly one of the dumber things he’s done in his life. Allowing himself to be provoked and trapped like this by his sister not even half an hour after that awkward moment in the hallway.  
[*Come to think of it, Alex changing her swimsuit cannot mean anything good, either… I need to push her away and get out of here, or convince her this isn’t sane…*]

_\- I should’ve known… it’s just impossible for me to suddenly be able to beat you at swimming._

_\- It’s pointless to chase the bunny if you catch him immediately, isn’t it?_

_\- You let me win?_

_\- To be more precise, I got you where I wanted you. The fact that I did it by managing to trick you means only that this time, the real ‘victory’ is mine._

_\- There you go again with this. I thought this was for sport._

_\- Sport? Well, yes. The things I’m about to do to you…_

  
  
She pushed her body closer to him, pressing her budding breasts against his chest. Alex could now feel his heart starting to beat a little faster

_\- Doing these things is supposed to burn quite a few calories, so I suppose you could treat this as sport._

_\- Haven’t I told you already that…_

_\- You’re a virgin, too, but I know you masturbated in the past, Gary. So, you have perfectly normal desires and a sex drive… and I’m going to try and bring those out, then satisfy them, okay?_

  
  
Gary tried to withdraw, his skin flushing red when she said that. Alex would have none of that, and pushed more strongly onto him. Despite the pleasantly cool water, it was difficult not to feel the warmth from her body.

_\- Can you remember, right now in this moment, how an orgasm feels? All that white liquid rushing through your organ, muscles tensing, brain overproducing this… dopamine? Yes, that was the thing. Stuff squirting everywhere… It feels really good, doesn’t it?_

 

Gary realized backing away was completely ineffective, and his sister indeed had him in a pretty tight spot. He didn’t want to get violent with her, partially because of their mother and the uncle’s colleague still being around, partially simply because he still couldn’t bring himself to really harm Alex.

_\- Look, I’ve told you already. Many times. What it seems you want to do, it’s…_

_\- Dirty? Inappropriate? Well, I say I deserve to be allowed to get a little dirty and inappropriate right now after holding back for so long. You can spank me later, if you want to. You know, brother, if I had a little less self control, you would probably celebrate your loss of virginity a lot quicker, back when I was a bit stronger and taller than you were._

It was surprising enough to learn his sister wanted to have sex with him quite honestly and upfront. It was way, way more surprising to learn she was now playing around with the possibility of being able to essentially rape him in the past.

_\- Alex, please stop this… We’re not even alone, and you’ve been behaving oddly for the past days…_

 

  
He started to try to push her away, but was too tender and slow about it. Alex grabbed his hands and guided one to her breast, the other moving towards her bottom. He managed to wring the latter one out, but she immediately grabbed it again and smacked it against the edge of the pool, without that much tenderness included, pinning him even more than up until that point. Gary felt a pain in his wrist. It was really surprising to feel Alex use this much force when teasing him, and once again his brain registered the person in front of him was not a classically gentle and physically delicate specimen of a girl. Then, again, the sensation from under his fingertips was perfectly reminiscent of one, and he only barely held back on the reflexive fondling of the same body part he managed to touch when they were kissing in his bed.

_\- There, there. See the difference? If you try to resist, it’ll hurt, but if you get along with it, see how nice it is? Come on, squeeze. Don’t be shy. You weren’t so shy last night._

[*I was starting to get the feeling she’s really serious about trying to have sex with me… Maybe even ‘loving’ me romantically. But Alex was never so forceful. Is it really affecting her that badly?*]  
  
He was visibly shocked and couldn’t bring himself to say anything for the moment, lost in his thoughts and the suddenness of the situation,so Alex just continued her verbal teasing.

_\- Now, Gary, I want you to use your imagination. You can do this, right? You’re smart and creative, I’m sure you can. Imagine that orgasm. And now, imagine that instead of that cute sweet little hand of yours, imagine something hot, wet and tight that you’re buried inside when you shoot off. And when you do, it squirms and squeezes and clamps down happily, trying to *milk* you of it until you’re either squeezed dry of your seed or hard and ready to go again, Gary. That’s how it’ll feel when we have sex. Don’t you find yourself kind wanting to try it now?_

  


His blush was really fierce now, probably to the point of making him feel light-headed. She could feel she was winning. Gary had a desire for either her or sex in general buried there somewhere, and her fierce behavior was also slowly forcing him into his meeker, shyer side. Combining the sex drive which, as her sibling’s, was probably quite strong, being brought out while he was both embarrassed and shy was making Alex confident she could be having her first properly sexual experience too, and it’d be one where she was the dominant party. It was clear he had trouble composing himself. This was the first time ever Gary seemed to be both lost for words, and completely and seriously stuttering. It was also the first time she’d seen him this red if he wasn’t out in the sun earlier.

_\- A-Alex, listen. P-please listen to me. This is too…_

_\- Stimulating?_

_\- Immoral! Mother and uncle’s colleague can see, and we are *siblings*. Which makes trying to have sex illegal, too._

_\- Well then, maybe I am immoral. Maybe I want it so much because you’re my brother, or maybe in spite of it, I don’t care anymore. All I know is that I want this, and it’ll feel right. You see, Gary, I always wondered why other girls aren’t all over you, but I don’t care. On the other hand, we both know why boys will probably never be all over me if they learn the truth. You felt it tonight. That piece of me is lively, horny. Perverted. It gets up easily and all that. You know it, you own one yourself. ~But, here. Look._

  
She slowly guided his hand between her legs, under her already raising erection - a rather sizeable one - and relatively small testicles. He then noticed her panties were already pulled halfway down her thighs.  
[*When did she even do that?*]

 

  
His finger brushed against something and then, despite the water, there was something stickier covering a warm part of her body. Alex squirmed; the muscles of her thighs and what was in-between them contracted and flexed at the touch.

_\- You can tell, right? It’s hot and wet, and *not* because of water. You’re the one who’re making me like this, dearest brother, so it’s only proper manners that you take care of this._

 

It was only then and there that Alex remembered her original idea was to get him comfortable before trying to have sex. When did she really decide to drop that? There was something in Gary’s eyes when she got him to touch her, for the second time on this trip, but it was suddenly replaced by something akin to panic. It was pure luck that his throat wasn’t able to make his voice any louder at the moment, or they’d be found out.

\- I… I’ve done nothing! I haven’t done anything! Stop teasing me!

 

There was a faint detection of panic from her sibling inside of Alex. Of his absolute loss at to what to do in order to get her to talk with him, to listen to his own wishes and his own stance. Somewhere inside of her, the empathetic side that couldn’t help but detect someone as close as a twin was quietly screaming at her, telling her to reconsider.

This other hungry voice appeared to just be consuming that voice.

 _\- Done nothing, you say. You give me breakfast, you don’t pull away when I molest you, you hug me, you kiss me at night, you parade all around with this freaking swimwear, you brush your sexy ass against that part of me and you look so delicious I want to make you into my dessert, and noooow you claim innocence._  


Gary clearly had no counter for all these points; obviously these were only valid because of Alex’s screwed-up perspective, but he knew no words would make him out to be innocent of these. He paused for a moment, then shook his head, returning to the “denial” strategy. While eloquent when it came to rational thoughts, putting feelings into words or trying to discuss anything when it came to doing so with breasts and genitals at his fingertips was not a forte of his. Gary was simply too worked up to try and explain why he was opposed to this right now. Perhaps even he was not so sure anymore.

_\- Look, Alex, this is really wrong! No matter what you say or think, this is wrong! This would hurt both of our development as people! Besides, we’re too young, and even though you think of yourself as a girl now, your body…_

 

When Gary lost patience and composure, he panicked. Alex doing the same just resulted in her becoming more forceful and angry. He felt his hands suddenly being more tightly clenched.

_\- Shut up! Such underhanded tactics. You always treat me as a girl, and now, suddenly, it’s “my body” that’s in the way of me being one? If you’re worried I’ll want to be a man, then make me into a woman. With this thing between your legs. Push it inside me until I can’t think of myself as anything else than a little minx hungry for my brother’s dick. Not that I am much of anything else at that point._

  
  
  
He tried to push her away, but instead, she lunged at him, burying his lips in a fiery kiss. No prim and proper woman has probably ever kissed their sibling in such a manner, lips mashed tight into his, tongue trying to force its way in and explore him thoroughly, the sudden silencing effective enough for Alex to not try to prolong the assault on her brother’s mouth excessively. Once the one-sided kiss was over and she pulled away, her hand was already tugging at his swimwear.

_\- Come on, Gary, you don’t want Mother and a stranger to see me with my pants pulled halfway down, all hot and bothered, and playing with your naughty bits, do you? Keep quiet and stop squirming. We’re going to do it properly now. You shouldn’t last that long for your first time, so it’d be no problem, right? Then again, if you want to do it where you *won’t* be seen, just tell me you’ll fuck me properly in my bed, and make it a promise._

 

[“Our bed. It’s a bunk. *Our* bed. Not *my*. ”]

  
She felt his penis and rubbed it while uncovering it, gasping in surprise at feeling his pubic hair; Gary’s skin being relatively smooth for a teenager his age, she expected there to be almost no pubic hair in place. While Gary wasn’t exactly hairy, it was clear she was not the only one undergoing proper puberty.

_\- I see… you’ve been growing as well… very manly. But it suits you. I want it inside, I want you inside me. I’m surprised you’re still resisting, you’re only half erect. You want me to act sluttier, or something?_

 

The perspective of how close the two were to actually engaging in incest was finally helping Gary to find his backbone and his regular composure. The stuttering was gone, replaced by concern, worry.

_\- Alex, it’s not like you’re the only one who can be forceful. I just… I don’t want to hurt you…_

 

His sister gave him a dirty smile, obviously choosing to misinterpret his words.  
_\- I cannot be hurt by sex. I want it too much._

Gary’s hand managed to break free of her clutch, moving away from her breast and pushing at her abdomen instead, stopping her from directly rubbing their genitals together. He still felt a bit light-headed at the constant fondling of his member.

[*I’m… responding to her body? It won’t go soft no matter how much I protest. Is it just that she’s so good with her fingers because she practiced on herself?*]

_\- I’m a tough girl. Besides, it’s better if it’s consensual, Gary. Raping you will be kind of counter-productive if you somehow will yourself not to enjoy it. On the other hand, you pushing me down for a change seems kind of… exciting. Now, you’ve grown big and stiff enough for it to slide in, I think…_

  
She completely pulled him out of his swimwear and rubbed his erection against her testes, then further towards and against female parts. He could feel something definitely stickier than water, slightly slimy, cover his erection before it slowly dispersed in the pool. His mind went blank for a moment, but quickly returned.

 

[*Fuck, Gary, what the hell are you doing? You’re actually going along with this? This is your sister, for god’s sake! And she has an erection of her own, bigger than yours! You can’t do something like this to a sexually undeveloped person of mixed-up gender, plus, this is freaking INCEST! Why am I not resisting? Why the hell does she act like that? Why does that part of her feel so inviting, why can’t I just… push her away?*]

Something else hit him.

[*She couldn’t get me fully erect, but it did seem enough. And yet, the moment I am about ready to get put inside her, it’s… growing? What the…*]

 

Alex felt the sudden change as well. She was aware Gary was fighting it, forcing back his excitement, she just wasn’t sure how much. Judging by the thickness of the tip and her sudden need to reposition herself for the last part, he had quite the willpower on him – and quite the manhood.

 

_\- Yes, you dirty boy. That’s it. Get big and hard for Alex. It’ll be better that way after all, won’t it? We’ll stuff you inside me, the blood will be washed away from the pool, assuming there’s any, we’ll do a little rubbing, jumping, pumping and whatnot. Those dumb fucks out there won’t know what the hell is happening. Of course, you’ll have to pump it all inside of me or it’ll be clear someone had sex in the pool, so try to be as deep as you can when you fill…your sister… up._

  
  
He shivered at her words, and clenched his fists, summoning the last bits of his strength he had control over. How to do this and not hurt her, physically and emotionally?

 

  
Alex was in a world of her own now.

[“See, that boy wanted it all along. You see him resisting? No, the blood from his brain is probably flowing right to his cock. It’s waiting for you to devour it and make it spurt all the white cream inside you. God, I’m so horny. Virgin, like hell. I want that pussy of mine to drink up whatever he stored inside those balls. There must be quite some, it’s problematic to jerk off with two women in the same house, and he has no girlfriend…”]

 

Her panties were already at the bottom of the pool. She raised her leg and pressed the sole of her left foot right next to Gary, while lining up his erection once again to thrust inside her. The light-headedness made her forget this position was quite a bit more *obvious* than the previous one, something Gary, on the other hand, would be painfully aware of. It did seem the two adults out of the pool were beginning to notice them.

_\- See, it’s easy. You feel it at your tip? That’s your sis’ pussy. If it could speak, it’d probably be saying things like “looks delicious” or “thanks for the meal” or “all for me? Really? Gosh, thank you~” Congratulations on losing your virginity to your twin sister, Gary._

 

The sudden display of thinking and athletics surprised them both, not just Alex. With his legs propelling him off from the pool, Gary took advantage of Alex’own limb pushed into its edge to support himself further. With this, he managed to jump out of the pool, away from her, supporting his body onto his hands as he pressed them at the edge, was above her leg. On the other hand, her neck and head probably still provided enough cover to make his boxers not being pulled sufficiently up less obvious to the duo of adults. It was surprising to see Gary pulling himself up on just his arms, even after using her leg to help the initial force of the jump to carry him out of the pool, and Alex herself was pushed off balance, falling on her back softly, floating on the surface of the water. Gary quickly pulled up his swimwear to cover his erection, using these events to make things more sudden and confusing to both Alex and his mother, which seemed to finally be looking in their direction. Alex stared upwards, at first with empty shock and utter, confused disappointment in her gaze as she seemed to look at nothing in particular. She then shifted and turned her gaze to her brother. There was something inside of her begging her to apologize, make up immediately, alter the course of the entire scene *somehow*. But the ache in her loins combined with her current mental state made quite a different set of words roll off the tip of her tongue.

 _\- If you’ll say something like “we can’t” or “Hurr durr incest is wrong” right now, I’m going to chase you down, beat you up and rape you._  


 

This caused Gary to shudder, mostly because it did not sound like a cute, innocent joke at all. Stopped in his tracks, he didn’t know what to do from that point onward. Clearly the other two would approach or call out to them at some point, and clearly trying to force his sister to take some sort of therapy would have to involve letting his family members know just how deeply her problems ran.  
  
She kept looking at him, and he even glanced back at her over his shoulder. But his eyes… they were weird. Alex never saw Gary look at her like that. It wasn’t sadness nor care, it wasn’t anger or irritation. It was something she wasn’t even able to identify, and it just grew stronger from seeing the chaotic mix of lust, neediness, and irritated wanting on her own face.

_\- I’m sorry, Sister. For… for everything._

_\- If you’re sorry, just let me do this. If we only do this once, Gary, I’ll show you. We’re special. We were born and meant to do this. I’ll give you so much pleasure you’ll never want anyone else._

_\- You’re… you’re intent on ruining it all? We can’t be lovers, Alex. Do you really want to push it so far that we cannot even be siblings?_

_\- All I hear is talking while you could be moaning._

_\- It seems like I was right. You’re either already crazy, or slowly going insane…_

_\- Well, maybe if you let me have a go with your body instead of complaining, I’d be more mentally stable._

_\- I see this is beyond what the two of us can deal with on our own._

 

Alex shifted in the pool, managing to get her panties off of the underwater floor and slowly slide them up her thighs. Putting her panties on, she went in his footsteps by trying to get out of the water and follow. Her body language was completely obvious and obscene as she did, trying to bring his gaze to the body she was trying to lure him in with. She got pretty and feminine, but it wasn’t to the point where she’d be able to drive Gary crazy with her body alone – in fact, far from it.

 _\- You mean you’re into threesomes? Sure, why not, as long as I get the most of it. Your body, that is._  
  
Shaking his head, Gary looked at her with that weird emotion plastered over his face again, and started to walk away.

 _\- You’re not even listening!_ – he said, walking away from the edge of the pool.

_\- And you are? It’s like you don’t even care. No approach works. Do I really have to force myself on you?_

_\- You just tried to, and it doesn’t even seem you cared how I’d feel. We’ll never do this, Alex. Not as long as I’m me, and you’re you. But, you’re already too far gone to understand that. This is it. I’m ***leaving***._

  
  
[“This… this thing in your eyes Gary. Is it… pity? Is it regret? Grief? And what’s with this weird accent at…”]  
_\- Wait. What’s wrong? Don’t go, just..._

_\- No. I’m leaving, and…_

  
He could only finish saying that in his thoughts.  
[*And I don’t just mean the pool.*]

He sprinted towards their room. By the same time, Alex only managed to get herself out of the pool completely and stand up. She was confused and angry. With both herself and her brother.

 

[“If I spent less time talking, and more time acting, would it end up different? Would Gary be inside me right now rather than running all over the hotel with a boner meant for *me*?!”]

 

 

She shook off her thoughts and, after making sure her lower clothes were put on properly, was about to run after him. But, in just that moment, her mother interrupted, with the sudden inquisitive questions about what happened, what was going on, why did her brother seem so angry and did they stay so long at one end of the pool to have a fight. Alex snapped, telling her mother to leave them alone for now, and tried to go after him, but the gap in time between their starting points already widened.

Come to think of it, despite the slipper floor, she’s rarely ever seen Gary dash so fast in the first place.

 Following him to their room - but he was no longer to be found there. Back to the pool. Neither. Snacks stand? No. Drinks? No. No sign of Gary.

 

[“What was wrong? What changed? He was giving in, I could tell. In the bed, last night. In the kitchen, the morning before. So, what changed? Why’d he pull out at the last moment, when I already had him all hot and bothered?”]

  
_\- Think, Alex. Think. Is it that your brother is still uncomfortable with something? Was it the approach? The method? The position? No. It had to be the approach. Banging each other’s brains out with your mother and a stranger at the other end of the pool, without even asking as much as “do you want to be my first”, that had to be wrong. Gary isn’t like you. He loves you, but he’s less dirty minded and more… more like Uncle. That’s it. Maybe he went to talk with Uncle. This isn’t… fixable, anymore. I just have to go through with it. I’ll have sex with Gary on our own terms, alone, and I’ll use it to make up with him._

 

  
  
  
  
After some consideration, Alex decided to ask in the reception where Uncle Adam’s friends were staying. Turned out she had to take an elevator back up, with them having a room two floors above the Lunarson family; the room was locked, but upon looking left and right, she noticed there was a terrace or balkony of sorts at the end of the hall. Rushing there proved that indeed, Uncle Adam was on it, with two of his friends, one of whom apparently took the conversation outside to get a smoke.  
\- _Uncle Adam! Uncle_! - Alex quickly interrupted any conversation they might’ve been holding. After all, her problems were much more important than whatever they were talking about right now.  
_\- My, my, Adam, looks like your niece and nephew are almost synchronized. This one looks a little heavier, may be the reason they weren’t here together._  
\- So Gary was here! Where is he, Uncle? I have to talk with him! And why was he here?  
\- Calm down, Alex, I’m sure he wouldn’t leave without proper goodbyes! You see, some time ago Gary and I spoke of a certain educational opportunity for him. We established that he could transfer to Canada back with me, and if he passed a certain set of tests could move up a year, maybe finish some bonus course or a pre-university college course like the ones in Quebec,  and start on the university I teach on, Korrine University. Gary wanted some time to consider, but he just got up here and told me he decided he wants to come with me and try to get into it this year, as fast as possible. So, I told him to pack the things he wanted us to take into the cases in my room, he’s most likely there.

 

It was Alex’ turn to panic. Said panic was the only thing pushing the flood of words out of her mouth through the sheer shock she just experienced.  
_\- Wait, Uncle. So, that means… Gary wants to come with you after this little family trip of ours and go to Canada to study and pass some crazy exams that will allow him to *stay* there for university studies? Won’t he even… finish school here? Won’t studying for even a minor degree take years?_  
\- Yes, you got that r… Alex?  
  
Before Adam managed to finish that sentence, Alex was already running down the stairs to their own floor upon noticing the elevator was gone.  
[“ WHAT THE  -HELL I can’t let- him leave cantlethim -he muststaywith-meevenifIgetnosex… How can I babble in my thoughts… -Push him down and-… What the hell is this chaos in my head…”]  
The one static in Alex’s head was that she had to stop Gary from leaving. Rushing into their room, she saw him, already fully clothed, standing over a case he slowly filled up with his clothes and some other necessities.

  
There were way too many thoughts running through her head at that point, dozens of scenarios of how this situation could play out depending on what they do… on what she does. In fact, she hoped that by some miracle he’ll take a while to notice her and the current position of astral bodies or will of supernatural beings will slow time for this very moment so she could take a while to consider what she should do.

Of course, immediately upon her entering, Gary knew someone else was in the room, and turned towards the door.  
She wanted to stay quiet, her entire being froze in one place, with zero certainty whatsoever about what she should say or do, but this was a desperate situation. She knew quite well she can’t afford inaction.  
  
_\- Gary… -_ she started, unsure of where to begin. She had no plan nor an argument that could convince him to stay; again she’d appeal to his emotional side, but something deep in her mind, something she was trying to shut up, was telling her it won’t work anymore, that she exhausted the patience and Gary’s willingness to be manipulated by their bond. It wasn’t even a day since she herself promised him gentleness and patience, and she already broke that promise and took things much further than he seemed willing to overlook.

_\- Alex, get out and leave me alone. I’m not particularly… comfortable with your presence right now._

_\- No. I won’t let you run away from this anymore. I’m not going to just stand by and watch you leave. Escape isn’t the right call._

_\- I’m not running away. It’s you who is being unreasonable. So, I’m going to take the thing that seems to be making you so. You said it’s my fault that you tried to do this, so…_

_\- I’m being myself, Gary. I don’t know how or why, and I barely even know when, but I developed into this. It may be because I have both genders, I don’t know. I… want to do this kind of stuff with you. It’s because…_

_\- Because you love me? You don’t threaten to rape people you love, Alex. You listen when they say *no*. You’re immature. You’re half-crazy. You say one thing, but virtually any random event at all can make you go back on your own word. Somehow, it’s my fault. So, I’m…_

[“Oh my god he is right what the hell is wrong with me –I gotta stop him mine take him NOW-… how could I ever… think acting like this was… -It was all right because he is a damn tease-.”]

_\- No. Please, don’t push me away. Not now. It’s not your fault at all. I’ve… I just continued to make myself too excited and work myself up all on my own from silly and minor things. Don’t… don’t leave me alone when I’m like that. ***Please*.**_

_\- I have to. Otherwise, you’ll never get better._

  
She hang her head low. It was a do or die situation. She had no way out. She was aroused as all hell, still, and he was trying his best to resist and was so stubborn and stuck-up…

_\- Look, Gary. I don’t… I never really understood what is wrong with this. I wonder if it’s because of my body, or something got fucked up in my brain, or whatever is the reason I don’t buy loving one’s brother… romantically or wanting him sexually as bad. I don’t know if you’re uncomfortable with the fact that I have male parts or maybe female parts, or simply the fact I have both, or maybe that I’m always chasing after you… Maybe you think we’re too young, or maybe you don’t want to do this without protection, or maybe you only like girls that aren’t actively pursuing you all the time, or maybe you prefer some other way to have sex, or perhaps it’s just that my body shape is still not to your liking… But… But…_

_\- Alex, these things don’t matter. As siblings, it’s illegal, improper, and even dangerous to try to do this kind of stuff. We’re too young for sexual initiation or relationships anyway. If we tried getting a boyfriend or girlfriend these days, Mom and Uncle would probably disapprove. What would you think they’d do if we tried *becoming* boyfriend and girlfriend? And that’s just their point of view, since you seem *utterly* unwilling to take mine into account._

_\- Look. Look at me, Gary. Please. This is me. This is your sister. Half-naked and aching for your touch. Your comfort and your caress. I know it’s weird. I know my body is imperfect. I’ll try to make it better, but, if you tell me that you can accept me… that you can accept this… I’ll be the happ…_

_\- I can’t say that in the meaning that you want me to. I’ll do my best to never say it in a way that’ll make you misunderstand, to not hurt or deceive or provoke you anymore. That’s it._  
  


[“Why? Why is he so cruel? There’s no hesitation at all?! At all!”]

\- Ga… Gary, please. I… I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll change myself in any way I can. I’ll wait however long you want and I’ll only do whatever you’d like me to and whatever you’re comfortable with, but I… I need…

[*If I give in now, this was all pointless. They’ll find out. They’ll send her somewhere. Pump her full of drugs, make her half a vegetable. She just needs time. Time **away from me**.*]

_\- Never happening, Alex. When Uncle will leave for Canada, I’m going there with him. I’ll be studying and I’ll get into this university he teaches at. We’ll be seeing each other once in a while. Try to get better, both at studying and with… this. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it’ll probably end, since I cannot be there for you as your brother without you… mistaking it for something else. And you need me away from here to get better._

_- **NO!**_ – It was more like a screech this time than a shout or mere words, making Gary twitch nervously at the sound as Alex seemed to abandon the last shreds of rationality holding her back from physically uniting with her brother in any way possible.

  
She pounced onto him reflexively, but he also had years to build up against her touchy-feely attempts. Closing the case he was packing, he turned on his feet and blocked her with it, causing his sister some minor pain for a change as he took advantage of both of their momentum to push them apart. He was fully intent to keep his sister at bay. She hissed as she hit a surface quite different from the body she was expecting, and tried to grapple him again, this time only for him to sidestep, making her lose balance and go on all fours. The way she suddenly spun on all fours while on the ground was more reminiscent of an angry predator than a human trying to get back up

_\- Why? How am I supposed to live alone? Why so sudden? Why the change? We **kissed**! Everything was going all right! I want you, Gary, I need you, so pl…_

_\- I made up my mind! Stop behaving like a needy dumb whore! Grow up! These feelings would die in a few years anyway, no matter what we’d do, no matter what I’d agree too, so grow up! We’ll find other people and dump them and find other people and get dumped, and then we’ll find yet other people and form working relationships! Your stupid incestuous fling is short-timed and all I’m doing is helping you get over it quicker!_

 

 

It was obvious he didn’t know and couldn’t understand. It seemed he was still thinking that she only grew into her emotional and physical need and desire for her brother from a couple years of noncommittal teasing , out of being unable to find love elsewhere rather than being unable to even *look* for it elsewhere. Rather than having loved him for almost seven years now.

_\- It isn’t! It’s been like this for a very long time! I’ve loved you like this since way, way back! It only gets worse the more we are together!_

_\- Then when I’ll leave, you’ll get better! You’re just proving me right, Alex! It’s my final decision, I’m not changing my mind!_

_\- No, being apart won’t fix it! I’ll die! I’ll kill myself! Maim myself! How can you leave your sister alone like this? No man would leave a woman aroused and hot and bothered in a *pool* like that, much less running away from the country!_

_\- Well then, I’m sorry, Alex. I told you I’m not the proper “man” for you. And apparently was right once again._

_\- S-stop manipulating my words. Stop, Gary! Stop behaving like that, you’re all I have, you can’t just..._

_\- I’ll leave to pack my things at home in an hour. You’re staying the night with Mom. Uncle seems intent on leaving for Canada soon enough. I can take all the documents immediately needed while staying at his place, and have the rest mailed. Don’t try to chase after me, or change my mind. If you do, we won’t even be able to have a proper goodbye._

  
  
  
  
  
  
Alex could barely remember the rest of the conversation, which consisted more of Gary hissing at her attempted prods at weakening his resolve, or awkward moments of silence when she hung her head low and tried desperately to remove the thoughts about how life *without* Gary would be like. That left her alone with other thoughts, however – with a terrible understanding that she had no idea what was wrong not only with her feelings, but with *herself*.  
An hour later her brother was gone, driving back to their regular household, and she didn’t even know if Uncle Adam took him or if he was going by bus. All that mattered is that she might be losing Gary and it was outside of her power to stop it. What did one do in such a situation?  
  
Alex instinctively knew what most people tried, but she hasn’t done that since she was a much smaller child. After all, when you’re a freak of nature with a super-rational smartass genius scientist for the only father figure, and a nerdy brother that seemed to be following in his footsteps, you don’t think much of religion or praying - you don’t consider any gods or spirits or any higher power as an option, any sort of answer to your problems.  
  
Desperate times called for desperate measures, though. After all, some said that there were few atheists amongst the dying, and for any teenager losing their first love would be a big deal. Especially given Alex’s condition and how strong and long-lasting her “first love” was at that point. So she knelt in the dark, lonely room, put her hands up, and started to pray. It was difficult and awkward. She figured there was a certain way to go about this, but she only could repeat a few prayers before delving into a personal monologue to god – a god, the God, she didn’t know - and even that, due to her state of mind, was very chaotic. After a while, she was just silent for at least a good dozen of minutes. The chill from still being in a wet swimsuit seemed to disappear soon after the moisture just dried up on her body, and she realized her uncle, scientists, the receptionist… They’ve all seen her in a bikini, and she made the bottom bed moist when she sat down after Gary’s scolding. Managing to push through those thoughts, she was finally able to speak. It was somehow easier to speak out loud than just in thoughts, and whoever was out there might’ve had an easier time listening, too. She didn’t know if any being, human or spiritual, listened, nor if they needed her to spell it out.

  
_\- Dear God… no, that’s wrong. Um, the Highest Being in Existence… sounds impersonal… in either case, any divine creature that may be listening to me. I am sorry I probably broke dozens or hundreds of your rules while down here. I am sorry I have probably not given you the necessary respect and worship. These are things you may feel you have the right to punish me for by causing all this, by making Gary in a way that he’d be so resistant to loving me. But I always figured if you put us all down here the way we are, you have to have some sort of a plan, perhaps even a desire to see us happy, a love for us. Well, right now, if you take Gary away from me, I will not be able to be a part of your plan… Nor I will be able to be happy. If you take him away, I just don’t think I can keep moving on… Not right now, I don’t see any way out right now. So, please, if you have the power to do so just make him stay with me! I need him! I understand his feelings on the matter are important and it is clear it will be hard to change them, but even if I can’t have him as a lover, I need him as a brother!_  


She gave a single sob before continuing.  
_\- I really need him a whole lot… So you have to help me and get him to stay,okay? I’m… too lost, beaten and confused by literally everything else… to lose him now. Don’t take the one healthy and important constant away. It’d be like killing me. Please? I… I beg of you!_

  
That was really all she could say before her mind devolved into sheer chaos. She eventually fell asleep just like that – in a swimsuit, on her knees, her back resting against her bed – the bottom one of the bunk. But there was no point to a bed that her brother couldn’t be found in, so there was no point to laying down on either of them.

  
  
  
  
  


Desperate people often expect some sort of miracle will happen if they feel like the current turn of events is unfair, especially if they attempt to ask the divine or otherwise supernatural forces for aid in said situation. Those people who actively attempted praying or waiting for a miracle and survived through such desperate times know that rarely if ever said miracle happens, and even those that feel they’ve been helped by an outside force rarely feel like they’ve received precisely what they asked for.  


Alex had over a couple dozens of hours to wait for her own miracle. To mull over every thoughts in her head, and to think over everything she has done and could do. To reconsider why, exactly, was the person most important to her in her life not only actively resisting her affection, but escaping from her, leaving her behind. She could analyze every single mess-up and every fault or flaw Gary or any other potential partner could’ve found in her.

Of course, her smart, analytical brother might’ve resisted progressing further than just siblings and trying to get intimate with her due to the reasons he suggested the scientists her uncle befriended were speaking of; her condition wasn’t something actually found in humanity. Every single case of “hermaphrodite”, or rather, “intersex” for people that were ‘close to her case, but not quite it’,  birth meant that something went wrong with the development of the fetus and generally produced two sets of underdeveloped sexual organs that could be “fixed” by surgery in a manner slightly similar to a sex reassignment surgery. She was different; she came from two people mixing in a never seen before way, had a bunch of hormonal and a couple of chromosomal aberrations that would’ve rendered other people heavily crippled or dead, and was born with two sets of mostly separate sexual organs that were developed to a level completely inappropriate for an infant – especially an intersexual infant. Until just barely before their teens or so, she had a penis quite a bit bigger than that of her twin brother, and she didn’t know if he ever completely caught up. For normal people, a mixture of male and female gender hormones acted as a kind of a buffer on sex drive, something especially true in case of females. In Alex’s case, instead of experiencing lowered sex drive in at least one side of her sex, as one might’ve expected from an absolutely chaotic mix of hormones, she instead seemed to have increased sex drive compared to the average with both of her organs. Her thoughts were often tainted with sexual dreams, fantasies, visions, and wants; and because of her emotional attachment to Gary, most of this drive focused on him, hence why she was being so perverted around him. Perhaps there was a complicated explanation about her sex drive becoming stronger around people she actually cared about, but she didn’t know even where to look for one of those explanations.

  
  
And that might’ve been the answer to all questions, even more so than her having a cock of her own. Perhaps he wouldn’t accept her want of him not just out of morality, but out of being offended at how easy it would be for him to get her, and yet at how hard he’d have to work to equal her in the sexual department and to keep her satisfied. Perhaps it simply felt wrong, or perhaps he worried she’d definitely cheat on him or find him unsatisfactory due to being such a sex-freak even before she hit adulthood.  
  
  
  
  
She did analyze. She did despair. She did hope for miracles or an opportunity to fix things. She did try to talk to him again, to call him, to text him, to beg him, at one moment she even considered a suicide threat.

 

 

But it was all for naught. Gary’s time with her came to an end, and after a while, the only thing she could do was take one of the pillows that seemed to have the faintest smell of him about it, and cry her eyes off deep into the night on the eve of his departure – a departure that could last several years or even much more.  
There’d be no miracles; nothing, physical, emotional, spiritual, absolutely nothing would force Gary to stay, give him a reason to stay, create an alternate personality of his that was addicted to pleasing (or pleasuring) her or make his current personality suddenly realize the inevitable and immense amount of love that was thriving between the two of them.


	11. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - Heart-Scarring Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary leaves Australia to study under his uncle's direct supervision and then join Korrine University, where Adam's a lecturer. Alex has to start dealing with how to live without her brother at her side, but it's likely she's going to need help to even start to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some inexplicable reason, the Word punctations that I use to signify dialogues are all out of whack and changed into something else entirely in this chapter. I lack the strength or enthusiasm to fix that, so I hope you'll forgive me this time.
> 
> This is the last chapter that requires absolutely no alterations that I have an the penultimate chapter of Act II : Teenage Arousal. It's also the last chapter I'll be updating this year.
> 
> I wish you all everything best in the incoming year 2016!

The love of her life, dressed so formally, with a suitcase and backpack full of his things, getting ready to abandon her - if not forever, then at least for years, years during which she’d see him clothed about as many times as she managed to see him naked during the past decade.   
Which wasn’t much, especially since her interest developed less than seven years ago and it didn’t turn so intensely sexual until a couple years later.   


It was a dreadful day, but she knew it was coming for a while. Stressed as she was, Alex wasn’t motivated to do anything and mostly drowned her sorrows out with food. She couldn’t get alcohol legally yet, and didn’t have enough self-confidence nor enough friends to try to obtain any sort of adult products on her own. So, the outlets were gorging herself on food and masturbating, and trying to masturbate mostly caused her heartache due simply to how many of her fantasies were related to the brother she knew she was going to lose. The amount of anguish and guilt she felt the single time she managed to bring herself to an orgasm without losing her erection inbetween their visit at the pool and Gary’s departure lead her to the level of suicidal thoughts, so she stopped doing it at all for now.

And finally, she was going to say goodbye to her first love and the only person who she felt a real connection with. She couldn’t help but realize how damaged that connection got when she looked at her brother once again explaining to their mother that he had his reasons for such a sudden change of mind regarding leaving with their uncle and trying to get moved up a year. With Canada’s education system, it appeared Gary would have to enroll to some sort of two year long pre-university program for a diploma before starting to study for a degree, but Alex was fuzzy on the details in regards to the sudden transfer. All that she wanted was so that transfer doesn’t happen at all. Of course, Gary was smarter than her, and academically, his hard work and smarts created enough of a gap to justify moving him up a year if he crammed hard enough to pass the necessary tests and whatnot, but that didn’t mean they could just take him away from her. It was the first time she resented having someone as smart and accomplished as Adam for an uncle – she knew if he hadn’t pulled some strings here and there, Gary would never be able to attempt to transfer or skip grades so suddenly, especially not inbetween countries.

The two siblings shared a long look in each other’s eyes as the time came for the two of them to say their farewells. Both of them were aware of the uneasiness and awkwardness coming from the other. Alex was angry at being torn apart with her twin, and Gary was worried about whether he was doing the right thing and how much his sister would hate him in the end.

 

She was the first to turn her gaze to the side and look away from her brother’s eyes. Gary gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

 

  * _I want you to try your best at everything and don’t let stuff hold you back anymore, Sis. I’m doing this so we can be free of relying on each other socially anymore, and so I don’t have to explain to mom and uncle what’s going on between us. You’re tough and whatnot, so I’m sure you can pull through on your own, without a shrink or that sort of thing. Think of it as a detox._
  * _You sure know how to smoothtalk your way out of things, for a virgin._
  * _No good?_
  * _You’re basically breaking my heart and telling me to suck it up. Of course it’s no good. No good at all. I’ll be devastated, and I don’t know whom I’ll start hating how much when you’re gone._
  * _I’m not telling you to suck it up. I’m telling you to give it your best, and make everyone proud. Make me proud. If you can’t make me proud, at least try to make me regret I wasn’t there watching you in a *positive* way. We’re twins, Alex. Pretty much everything I can do, you could probably do as well if you really try. Don’t waste yo…_
  * _I’m not even seventeen. This talk is… no good either. Maybe in a couple of years, I’ll get what you wanted me to do, but right now, it really is no good. Thank you for trying to cheer me up with your goodbye speech, Gary, but you just end up wounding me more with only caring about this sort of stuff *now*. Still caring for my “well-being” instead of *me*. Maybe that’s what you need a couple of years to get, but I make no promises as to whether or not I’ll still be anything you can come back to when you finally get what my silly words of wisdom meant._



 

It was Gary’s turn to remain silent. He slowly raised his arms to try and give Alex a hug, but she pushed his arms away while shaking her head. Leaning in, she gave him a quick, almost cold kiss on the cheek, and he realized it felt a little bit ‘chilled’ because of a tear that came down from both of their eyes almost at the same time, somehow mixing up and meeting when she planted the smooch.

But both of them already didn’t want to show the other how bad of a situation this was. How much they were aware they’d miss the other. Both Alex and Gary turned away from one another to wipe the small amount of tears from their eyes before the other could really see the other one crying and doing the same thing.

Alex knew that if she got a goodbye sign of affection from Gary, her body and mind might not be able to take it, and she’d just regret it in the end. At the same time, giving him a little kiss on the cheek was the barest minimum to prove to herself and perhaps even to him that her heart was really in the place she claimed it was at all along. She tried to not look back when she heard the car’s engine running, her uncle going back to work – and taking the person most important to her life away from her at the very same time.

 

 

 

For the next couple of days, Alex was worse than a mess. Barely getting out of the bed, barely talking to anyone, and even trying the things most common for people to dull their pain – trying to buy alcohol in the stores, but being rejected due to her age. Trying to convince someone to share a cigarette with her, but having the situation stopped due to a meddling neighbor.

She wasn’t enough of a bad girl to know any of the drug dealers, and even if she did, she’d need her depression and problems to fester for a while longer to even consider something so terrible.

 

There was one last thing people *claimed* helped them, and something she *could* do, so she did. Her mother would be away for over 26 hours to visit some person or another elsewhere – Alex couldn’t bring herself to care for stupid things like where her mother went, now that the only person she truly thought of as close family was gone – and as such, came the first attempt at something that made Alex realize that perhaps she really was insane. Of course, the second voice in her head telling her about doing disgusting things like mutilation, rape, or calling the person dearest to her a ‘toy’ was a little bit of a tell-tale, but this was the real deal.

 

 

The young, hermaphroditic woman took advantage of the chilly day and late hour to sit down on the swing in one of the parks she played in as a kid. Looking at her arm, she shuddered at what she has become.

A single erection from having a strained libido roughly two or so years back forced her to transfer, switch schools, and start trying to build up her reputation and a circle of friends anew-not that her circle of friends was ever large to begin with. It forced her family to lie to the girls’ parents about her sex status, and it was obvious many people learned of it eventually. She couldn’t go to the same school as Gary for a while, making her all the more starved for attention when they were at home. It was attention he provided, and it was clear he cared, but her greed stretched his patience to its limits, and it felt like the same greed and the same lusts that caused her to lose so much now put enough of a wall between her and her sibling to separate them utterly.

 

Gary’s affection for her run out, while her self-control and patience were never even there to begin with, and now seemed to reach somewhere into the negative zone and cause her to break every single promise she made about treating him more preciously, more gently.

She didn’t know whom to hate. Herself? The brother who couldn’t accept her feelings for reasons she couldn’t understand? The society that raised people so that the relationship she sought was impossible, and in which her sexual configuration marked her as so much of a freak fifteen year old kids, on the brisk of adulthood, and their close-minded parents were deemed unable to accept what she was?

For now, she wanted to hate herself, so she did. The darkened stain on the bandage she applied proved it. Alex’ first attempt at self-mutilation didn’t go well. It didn’t give her any sort of relief. It was just more pain, only physical this time, and it made her realize that indeed. She was a girl. She was delicate and she felt that physical pain to the core, no matter how big of a tomboy she was, but it hadn’t helped her at all for some reason.

It was difficult for her to even notice there was someone else there. Passing the park in which she had a couple fun days almost every month in her earlier life, the person spared a glance at the decidedly late adolescent or early adult woman swinging alone on a toy designed for someone much smaller than her.

 

They approached, with the intention to explain that to her possibly, or ask why she was alone in a place like this. Alex stood up, ready to evacuate in case she really didn’t feel like being scolded or lectured, but there was something familiar about the voice, and even more so, about the person that approached.

  * _W…wait. Excuse me, but… you’re Alex Lunarson, right?_



 

Alex took a full glance at the person in question. It was unmistakable, given that compared to herself, he barely changed that much. The only significant difference was height and a small stubble of facial hair thrown in.

  * _Lachlan… At such a time, too…_
  * _So, it is you, Alex? It’s been almost two years since I’ve seen you, we haven’t been on the phone in almost twenty months, either. How come you never tried to get in touch?_



 

Alex snarled a bit, looking to the side. She clenched and unclenched her hands uncomfortably.

  * _After these events at school, and that explanation… when I had to transfer… I wanted to leave it all behind. Since you didn’t live in the area, I was sure we wouldn’t be meeting all that easily again. I thought you wouldn’t actually want to, being lied to like that._



 

It seemed like Lachlan observed her for a couple moments.

  * _The only thing I’m offended about is that you thought I couldn’t like you if I learned the truth. Not to mention, seems like the ‘lie’ is a thing of the past, too. You’re quite a pretty girl now, Alex._



 

She felt her heart moved a little at hearing that from a person who was fooled into thinking – at least if the parents ‘leaked’ the knowledge to their children, like it seems they did in this case – that Alex was born as a boy. This proved Lachlan to be a good and open-minded person, but it didn’t change the fact he still didn’t accept the entire truth of past events.

  * _W… what are you actually doing here, if I may ask?_
  * _There was an accident in my family. One of my grandparents and an uncle were affected, and now need more support to go through their days. Well, my uncle will recover, but in the other case… it’s likely my family will have to take care of that person for the rest of their life. So, since I was considering a certain place in here for further education, we moved closer to these two folks’ without much trouble. I live around the area now… I just didn’t expect to actually meet you. When we stopped getting in touch, I just managed to learn your uncle is now a big shot in Canada or somesuch… I was sure he’d be taking your family with him._



 

Another snarl from Alex had her clenching her fists again, and gritting her teeth.

  * _Lachlan, I’m… I’m sorry, but today… today’s no good to be talking to me. I’ll… go home now. I’m sorry for your family, and I hope they get better…_
  * _Alex, wait._



 

Her former friend stopped her in her tracks before she managed to fully turn around. He seemed to notice something was not quite alright.

  * _You know… It used to be that we could rely on each other, right? We were friends. Friends help one another. I… was angry at you for not keeping in touch with me, but I understand you’ve had quite the revolution in your life when you had to transfer. So, rather than just tossing me away again, let me help you out. We have a lot of catching up to do, but I still consider you a friend, no matter how complicated your situation got. So, if you think talking it over will help, I want to listen, or even advise you if it’s something I can help out with. I mean… now that we live closer to one another, I’d feel bad if I managed to see you every now and again, but was treated like a stranger…_
  * _But, like I said already… Today’s no good. I’m a total wreck. I can’t go over… this sort of talk today. Lachlan, what they told you about that situation in school… isn’t exactly correct. You could say I had to put a lie atop of another lie. So, the situation really *is* complex, and…_
  * _How about this Friday, then?_
  * _Huh?_
  * _We’ll go to one of those places you said you liked to eat or drink at, sit down, and talk. Like I said… there’s no reason we can’t try being friends again._
  * _I don’t want to burden you with my crap, Lachlan._
  * _That’s what friends are for, Alex. Besides, I just told you some pretty sad stuff as well. You probably had to go through quite a lot after you moved, and yet I couldn’t be there for you… so at least let me do that now, hm?_



 

Alex stood in one place for a moment. That desolation inside of her… could recovering a friend really fix it? Was Lachlan the key?

She didn’t know. But this was the one person she owed the truth to.

She looked up at him. The considerate, calm, and honest face didn’t change. This was the same kid who managed to make her life bearable together with her brother, only a tad more adult.

All she needed to do was set the place and the date, and he’d probably try to at least listen to her, if not actually help her out. Maybe then, she wouldn’t have to be scared of what she was going to become.

So, rather than act proud and mighty, she did just that. Friday at 5.30 PM. Would her life change from meeting that person again?

That remained to be seen.

 

 

 

 

Alex arrived ten minutes too early and was fairly nervous about the “date” she set up with Lachlan.

It was true they were once friends – while it was hard for her to determine just how close they were objectively, Lachlan was pretty much the best friend she’s ever had – he’s been fed a lie to excuse her transfer from school and she never tried to contact him or clear it up – out of a, possibly misguided, idea that folks who learned the ‘fake truth’ about her wouldn’t want to talk to her afterwards.

And yet here he was. Lachlan. A friend she lost more or less twenty months ago when she decided to not pick up a call from him and not send him her cell phone number when she changed phones.

The only person who actually kept calling after her transfer, now that she thought of it. He was a little taller now than back then – even taller than she was,  by an inch or so, facial hair started to manifest more seriously as his puberty appeared to pass its peak and slowly start moving downhill. Practically black hair, blue eyes, and a body still retaining a bit of carving from all those rough tumbles they’ve went through back when they were kids, though he seemed to outpace her just barely and already put on a little bit of extra ‘soft’ weight.

She felt a small smile lightly show on her face as he gave her a small, up-close wave in greeting.

  * _So, are we going to be eating, or drinking?_
  * _Depends on where we go. There’s not many spots on this street, but I don’t mind any of them. I want a place that’s feels like nobody will really listen to us at._ – Alex responded.
  * _There’s a place down the street, on the other side and past a huuuge fucking green neon. They recently added a couple of booths there and there’s a chance it won’t be stuffed full at this hour, so let’s check it._
  * _That sounds like a good spot._



 

Walking hand in hand, they managed to find the spot Lachlan spoke of.


	12. Act 2 : Teenage Arousal - Friends and Rebounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has to start dealing with her own desires without her brother around, and that's the least of her problems that come from his sudden departure. What's a girl to do? Can reconnecting with an old friend help her at all? Should her new and old friend know of her condition, and what's the dating pool of a hermaphrodite obsessed with her own sibling for so long?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of Act II. Act III's format will be a little different, as it'll cover a wide variety of shorter timeskips and events between Alex and Gary. I think Act III will turn out to be the second shortest (after act I), but it'll have a lot of small chapters.

Alex remembered that place for late-time meetings with folks, especially for allowing ones during which she’d need the privacy to talk. Her and Lachlan they stepped in once they realized over half of the booths were empty.

Purchasing two pieces of cake each and a drink, and reserving a booth, Lachlan insisted on a specific cost split. Rather than fifty-fifty, he kept insisting on something along the lines of three to one. She remembered that at the end of their time together he did occasionally mention that as some relatives’ motto in regards to treating girls. If you split the costs evenly, it’s a business meeting or you’re an asshole, if you take half of what she should pay, it’s a friendly meeting or you’re a gentleman at a business meeting. Finally, paying all of the girl’s part was, by said relative, deemed to mark the meeting as a romantic kind of date. Alex felt glad that she was apparently recognized as both a girl and a friend, or at least on a friendly meeting.

  * _Well, we’re alone. It was good to see you again, Alex, and I’m happy we got to meet here. Do you feel like you’ll be all right with talking here today?_
  * _Y…yeah. But before we get to the complicated parts and whatnot… I wanted to apologize. I pretty much broke contact with you and everyone else all on my own. I was sure you wouldn’t want to be meeting with me again. That nobody who listened to that story, firsthand or not, would. You’re a pretty wonderful person for trying to reconnect with someone who treated you like this over a past friendship, you know…_
  * _I did it because you were worth it, and I’m sure things were pretty bad on your side as well. Think nothing of it._
  * _So, now. About what’s… the problem. Back when I was forced to transfer out, did you learn what sort of story they told your parents to explain that event?_
  * _But it never really mattered to me. I’m adult enough to know it’s what on the inside that counts, and you’ve already started to grow into a pretty gi…_
  * _Thanks for the compliment, and you’d be able to pick up anyone genderqueer with that line, but what they’ve told your guardians and what they told you was a lie._
  * _They lied to us? How come?_
  * _It’s… complicated. I really am a freak of nature. Uhhh, where to start… Do you know what an intersex person is? When someone’s born without a clear distinction on whether they are male or female, on levels of genetics or simply due to the kind of… well, gonads… they possess at birth, they’re called an intersex person. Most of them are surgically ‘corrected’ to one gender or the other, and some then undergo hormonal treatment through puberty to help stabilize them as one or the other. This may cause problems if the decision was made on the spot, and not all intersex people develop such characteristics by the time they’re born._
  * _… And you were like that?_
  * _Yes, and no. Intersex people are usually ‘normalized’, like I said. What happens with them is a rare but… relatively normal condition in a human, I guess. I’m in no position to judge  how good for anyone the normalization to a binary gender system is, but most of those people live as one or the other. Sometimes switch midway. Intersex people can be raised one way and become transsexual later on, or can stick to one gender and sex all their life, or they can develop intersexual characteristics much later in life, and so on, and so on._
  * _I’m guessing this is related, but not exactly it._
  * _That’s right. All these descriptions I’ve just told you… don’t apply to me._



Both of them ate a slice of the cake in silence for a moment, before Lachlan spoke.

  * _Go on._
  * _At birth, I had genital areas more appropriate for a preschooler than an infant or a toddler, Lachlan. And I mean *both* types of them. The doctors didn’t know what to do with me, and neither my mom nor my uncle made the choice for them. I grew up like this and while secondary sexual characteristics… kicked in at pretty weird moments, and the ones I wanted only started appearing lately, I developed properly ‘both ways’, so to speak._
  * _That means… you have everything a boy your age should, and everything a girl your age should… if I’m getting this right?_
  * _I have both testicular and ovarian tissue… Apparently mostly separate. I have … all the right holes, but all the equipment a boy has. I do everything a boy would with it, too. Both parts are sexually stable and usable, though I don’t seem to have a clitoris… I guess these tissues are too similar and it disappeared when my boy parts grew. I’m like a snail or an earthworm more than an intersex human. I… don’t think what lead me to this is the first time it happened amongst humans, but I’m pretty sure I am the most drastic example in history so far. To be frank, I’ve had someone say I may not even be a human already. It’s not like I think it’s all really *that* shameful or anything, but apparently it was at the time too shocking and odd to tell anyone._
  * _So, speaking…. Theoretically, you could be both a mother and a father?_
  * _I don’t really have any experience at doing that, but my uncle seems to believe that’s correct. Although, we don’t know what sorts of conditions I’d pass to the child in either role yet, so… you could say I’m not in a hurry to try parenthood one way or the other, even if I had a choice._
  * _So the two sexes don’t give you a bigger sex drive for y…_
  * _What? N..no, no. I just meant… experience. And wanting to try being a parent at this point. Well, I think I may actually *want* it, but I’m not sure how irresponsible it’d be. To be frank, uhhh… I’m fairly certain my sex drive as a total is bigger than most boys our age. I just had to burn it all out m… What am I saying…_



 

It wasn’t at all frequent for Alex to turn so terrifyingly beet red. In fact, it was her specialty to turn her brother this particular color. Yet here she was, purposefully telling someone outside of her family her secret for the first time in her life.

  * _In… either case. They lied to you all, and I never cleared it up. I never had the courage to talk to anyone from my past life whether they’d see me as some ‘weird’ transsexual kid or whether they were someone I thought I could trust with the actual truth. Like… like you. I pushed all of the truth and tried to put all of my feelings into one person… the person I found to be the closest to me, but I ended up making it overbearing for them. Scaring them. I… I lost that person now. I won’t be seeing them for at least a couple of years, at least not frequently enough for it to matter. That’s why I wasn’t really feeling up to talking to anyone, but… I’ll be no good without them if I keep on the way I was. I have to try to change… something._



 

 

Lachlan gently reached out across the table, placing his hand on Alex.

  * _Frankly, I can tell how someone could feel this was all pretty shocking and unusual… but it doesn’t feel like it’s all that shocking or unusual to me personally. As a kid, you were always cooler than a girl, and even when we hit puberty and you seemed to lag behind the quickest-growing folks, you were always way too pretty and girly to be a boy. Rather than slap yourself over how you may ‘not be human’, you should continue on that path. Back then, when we were friends. Unless you really, really want to be one or the other, try to take in the good and leave out the bad. Best of both worlds. Everyone has their own potential. Even if I am wrong here, why not at least try to approach life with the stance and point of view that you have the potential of both a man and a woman? That you *can* have the best of both? In an innocent, childish way, that’s how you’ve been when we were twelve, thirteen, or so._



Alex blushed and bit her lip before looking up at Lachlan.

  * _Uhhh… You’re not trying to pick me up or anything, right? When did you become such a smooth talker anyway? Is such… exotic stuff your thing, or something?_



 

Lachlan stopped for a moment, tilting his hand and getting a small blush of his own before recognizing Alex was only half serious, and partially trying to tease him like back in the day. He shook his head.

  * _Good start. But no. You see, I’ve made someone officially my girlfriend more or less three weeks ago, so I’m committed. I want to be your friend again, Alex, but for now, let’s stick to being *just* friends._



 

It was Alex’ turn to look down. Indeed. Why did she put things that way and ask that question? The way she was now, Lachlan would be nothing else than just a rebound after Gary if she tried to take things there. He deserved more. Deserved better. He was her friend, and it was one of the few bonds she had – so she should try to preserve it.

  * _Yes, yes, I agree. I was just in a weird place, and you *did* sound pretty freaking smooth. If they ever make a transsexual bar or nightclub anywhere here, you should give folks pick-up advice._
  * _I don’t know if that’s a useful skill… I’m just glad you were able to open yourself up a little. So, that person you depended on… Was that your boyfriend? Or was it quiet, or even platonic relationship? Did they know about how you felt and still left?_
  * _It’s… It’s complicated, Lachlan. To say the least, they’re someone I shouldn’t love, but did. I think in their mind they’d be helping me out by leaving, but that’s just because of something they couldn’t understand and me pushing too much onto them. But… but maybe something about what they’ve done was right. Maybe being separated from them will help me grow one way or the other, if I stay brave. Can’t… tell you anything else, though. Long story short, I was dumped, and still am not over it. I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be seeking a rebound or go into mourning. This is all way too new to me._
  * _First order of business, try to be more social. I don’t care what’s happening with you, Alex, but you’ve turned quite pretty, like I said, so at the very least people will want to interact with you if you give them the opportunity. It’s up to you if you go so far as to try to do anything with them, or become a party animal, or anything. Just go out and meet folks. I know it’s not easy for you now, but you have a friend that wasn’t a shut in for the past two years now, so maybe you’ll be able to get along with others through me. Oh, and… I take it I’m supposed to keep what you said here a secret?_
  * _It… would be preferable for now, I think. Though, if there’s someone you think is really worth knowing the truth, feel free to ask me about it. But for now, if you could… keep it between us._
  * _My lips are sealed. Now, there’s a lot of catching up we have to do, don’t we?_



 

Taking the first bite out of the second slice of cake, for the first time in weeks, Alex’ face was positively beaming.

  * _A lot. So, how have things been with you?_



 

  


 

 

 

 

During the first half a year after Gary’s departure, Alex’ life indeed begun to change.

The combination of rediscovering the tomboyish confidence of her youthful days with attempting to drown out the sadness of separation from her brother in food, parties, nightlife, and relaxation. Her sports’ abilities and grades slightly deteriorated, but not to the point of it becoming a tragedy as of yet. Spoiling herself caused her to become a little less depressed, a little more lazy, and heavier.

Alex was putting on weight, but it wasn’t affecting her appearance in a negative manner yet. It appeared to be the opposite instead. With her body clearly suddenly delving in a growth spurt of female assets, the additional weight, while coating her stronger layer of muscles in soft coating, seemed to rearrange itself fairly strategically. She lost count of how many times her bra size changed significantly in the total period of the last year, but she definitely wasn’t going to be ashamed of the size of her chest anymore in the future.

She was ascending through the C-cup sizes, and as she expected, even if she lost some of her slim figure from before, that was enough to give her a little bit of popularity and an additional confidence boost. This translated to going a little deeper into the life of a teenager. Sneaking onto parties easier and increasingly more often, or just joining more of them when they were hosted at people’s own houses. Her heart was able to beat faster again when she became aware someone was flirting with her, or at least complimenting her.

While Lachlan expressed worry about her taking a little too many ‘dives’ into it, it was a bit difficult for Alex to return when she realized a whole world of experiences she didn’t have up until now could reveal itself soon. People were there. They were flirting. Some were clearly taking it many, many steps further. At first, it was just boys with girls, but it seemed clear to her that in the world of teenagers, the values and lessons of conservatives, the heteronormative view of the world, did not apply.  Expectations of boys were more harsh; the silent, timid first steps towards checking if they were really as heterosexual as their parents wanted them to be took the form of shy glances and occasional, ‘accidental’ touches nobody noticed or took seriously – except her, with her ever-sharpening senses, her slow adjustment to the vivid beat of everyone’s sexuality budding out and through societal limitations. She wasn’t the only one with drive and hormones, and she could see others explore what these lead them to do.

It was different for women. Girls were actually enticed by the groups they hang out with to try at least touching and kissing other girls, and it was obvious some did so as a ploy to gain interest and popularity while others simply enjoyed how much easier and more acceptable amongst peers was for them to try out both genders. Alex herself held back on making out with women on parties or in private so far. This wasn’t because she was unable to find girls attractive, but she knew she’d be in trouble if she got really excited at a party… Not to mention, she still considered herself primarily interested in men for relationships, and she did want to try whether or not she could date someone even semi-seriously, create a relationship before just diving into sex. Every passing couple of weeks her interest increased and her resolve to not have meaningless coitus decreased, however.

 

So, when it was safe, she’d occasionally indulge. Grinding on a barely illuminated dance floor, or having a kiss under one of the walls when no one had an eye on her, were the furthest she went, and occasionally, she’d still feel guilty afterwards. Trying to toss away the feelings of her first love, or at least bury them with a new one, weren’t working so far; but meaninglessness of just having a teenager as horny as her practically hump a soft part of her body never knowing she occasionally got a bigger boner out of it than he seemed to have did drown out the guilt when it happened, precisely because of how meaningless it was.

 

And it wasn’t criminal, either. Alex knew she had to be careful on public parties and private ones, for different reasons; most clubs had a specific age limit set to 18, and she never attempted sneaking inside any of those too often in a single month. Her new assets and respectable height generally helped, but there were some pretty diligent keepers at times, and she wouldn’t go as far as to trying to make false IDs or change her documents to say she was 18 or above. At private parties, the only thing she really had to watch out for was getting found out; which is why she usually tried to attend the parties of people Lachlan both knew and liked. She developed some amicable relationships with people so far, but nobody could be her friend in the same way that boy was… Which was making her just a little bit awkward sometimes. It was clear to Alex that her sex drive was strong, but it was also becoming clear to her it had a tendency to try and focus on someone; someone close to her. All her life, it was Gary, but now, she had to watch out in order to not fall hard in lust or in love for her best friend, who still didn’t break up with his girlfriend, even though a couple people seemed quite interested in both of them.

 

Sneaking into adult parties and partaking of certain things was bad, and even illegal. But, considering having her first sexual experiences, to the best of her awareness, was not. The age of sexual consent varied from place to place around the world, and even in Australia, but the age of consent for everything but anal sex or sex with a teacher or lawful, but not blood-related guardian was either 16 or 17 year old, which meant she was, for all intents and purposes, legal in all of Australia unless it came to pretty perverse acts.

 

“Such as having sex with one’s brother” was a thought she still sometimes had when thinking of that.

She stopped her ‘hobby’ of finding out where what kind of relation was legal roughly a month and a half after Gary left, however. And right now, her brain was somewhat managing not to think about her brother.

So far, she was still not deeply enough into all these things to experience the ugly side of people giving in to attraction or excitement; sticking to Lachlan and his friends was almost like a protective bubble stopping her from experiencing the uglier side of sexual exploration and the small revolutions that were happening in the world.

Homophobia and transphobia would still be problems for years to come, and her intuition was just barely warning her that she may be subject to those. Sure, amongst friendly but horny teenagers who never found out what was in her pants, it would not matter for them whom she kissed. Until it became an object of rumors, that is. People she met through Lachlan were friendly, nice, but she was well aware even them could turn meaner when you were away from them. Those she met on her own, rarely, when she snuck out to parties or Lachlan wasn’t around to warn her?

 

She was already called a slut once when someone thought it was behind her back, and the same behavior that helped her take her mind off of Gary right now were not very convincing in regards to making anyone think she was undeserving of the nickname.

 

Any hypothetical person of wisdom and insight that could be privy to Alex’ secrets might suspect Matthew would be nothing but a rebound. Their heights were similar. He was fair of skin. His eyes were amber, so not red enough to trigger a warning. His hair was a bright blonde – so not white enough to trigger a warning. He was slim from trying out tennis and futsal out-of-curriculum at school, so the reasons for his body shape were entirely different as well.

Of course, Alex’ current mood was entirely preventing her from seeing his looks were simultaneously ‘enough Gary’ and ‘far enough from Gary’ to make her excited about his body or lips pressing against hers, or risky moments expressing mutual attraction. She met him recently, this was only the second actual party they were both on, and she knew he was at least a year older than her. But she could feel the pull towards him, and she could tell he felt some sort of attraction as well. He wasn’t particularly shy about it, either, but it was exciting to be wanted physically, even if she was sure the boy wasn’t as of yet interested in her personality quite as much. Her body shape was a little off compared to the popular hourglass since she started to put on weight, but maybe this time her hips and butt being slightly smaller was working to her advantage.

 

They didn’t put a name on it. Alex was mildly embarrassed about it all, but she felt wanted, and lost herself in that feeling. Lost herself enough to become intoxicated, like she did with her brother.

Turned out that when such a quiet, lustful intoxication snuck itself into her mind with a guy who wasn’t afraid to touch her body in a way that expressed sexual desire, it was way too easy to lower her guard, and far too simple to get discovered.

The twitch in his arm was the tell. It was their fourth kiss, despite them never putting any sort of a title to what they were doing other than being ‘party animals’. Her lips were pressed tight against his and her nipple was stiffening as her – newly at least a little abundant – breast was being pressed out of her bra only to spill, along with her top clothing, into the questing fingers of the boy who thought the girl he was fondling and making out with was the type just horny enough to let him score all the bases in a short amount of time. The corridor was on the floor above where everyone else was, and quite a bit away from the stairs, so they’ve had a moment to do just what he was doing to her.

 

While once quite the sportsgirl, Alex was fairly confused about likening bases in ‘baseball’ to touches in dating or hanging out between sexes. Apparently some people defined it was where the touch was, while others claimed it depended on what touched what.

Evidently, either Matthew thought four kisses with no relationship to speak of other than short chats and dancing were enough to go from second to third, or considered fondling below the waist part of the second base and thus okay.

This lack of communication meant that, for the first time in her life, a boy’s hand was pressing down on her groin. Because of how that groin was formed and how it behaved, frankly enough, even though it was through clothes, even though she took some steps to make boners less-than-obvious, he had a handful of dick while trying to make out with a woman.

The twitch in his hand was the tell that it was *not* what he expected, and the sudden parting of lips and bodies evidenced it was *not* okay. Despite suddenly feeling unwanted, betrayed, and exposed while left with absolutely no support from anyone, in hindsight, Alex would consider this ‘surprise fondling’ one of the better ways these sorts of situations went in her life.

 

  * _W… whoooaaa. Nope. Nopenopenope._



It was not easy to speak. When she touched Gary, it wasn’t hard to explain things, because no matter how much he pretended, he *knew*. When Lachlan noticed her ‘extra’ padding at any random situation, he’d more than likely subtly help her fix it, or shrug it off if they were alone and she had a ‘semi’. But this time, it was a stranger, a boy she barely knew, grabbing a handful of her dick all on his own – which was kind of a new and, for a short moment, pleasant experience – and she was unaware how to resolve this situation without it going *terribly* downhill.

  * _I… I know. I should’ve… should have the courage to tell people before I kiss them or let them touch me like that. I’m… I’m honestly sorry._
  * _No, no, t… that’s okay. I mean… whew. Really, girl, you’re too pretty to be that way. You’d pass almost every single time, believe me. And your breasts feel good too. So maybe you’re right, maybe you should tell people, because they’d never suspect._



 

She raised an eyebrow. Well, it was predictable that he’d think she was transsexual, but it was also not going anywhere as badly as she expected it to. He called her a ‘girl’, complimented her, and while he was letting her down, it was all… softly.

  * _I don’t know if I should be happy to hear that, but from your first reaction… I take it that’s sort of a deal breaker._
  * _Yeah, sorry. Not open minded enough to… be around that when I’m trying to get off. In any way. No offense. I’m not close minded enough to punch you or call you a guy or a trap either, you know… not any more, at least. But… I’m *soooo* not into that, I can’t even begin to explain how fast the perspective of another dick being thrown in kills my boner._
  * _Well… no offense taken. Believe it or not. I expected it to go… a little bit worse than this if I got found out, actually. Can I ask you to not tell any…_
  * _Actually this is an opportunity._
  * _Ex…excuse me?_
  * _Oh, sorry, I sounded like a jackass there. I don’t intend to blackmail you or anything, and I don’t mean to shame you either… make no mistake, a horny person with a body like yours is an *awesome* thing in my book, but if I’m taking this correctly, you being this eager to make out with someone marks you as the type that really wants to try having sex, right?_
  * _… The only reason you’re not being smacked right now is because it’s kind of true, and you seem just a tad embarrassed by what you’re talking about._
  * _Sorry for being upfront, but I’ll probably need to carry that a couple steps further to make it simple. May I?_
  * _Sure thing, go ahead…_
  * _When a person turns into an ex, nine times out of ten, or more like, forty nine times out of fifty, things turn sour, right? Well, I’m the lucky number fifty. There’s a girl. An ex of mine. We bang once in a while, which makes it cool, but it’s also a little bit time-absorbing, and I’m trying to stop. That girl is turning juuust a little bit bicurious herself. If you catch my meaning…_
  * _I’m in the buffer zone._
  * _Buffer zone?_
  * _Folks close to me are into chemistry. The amounts of use folks have for the word ‘buffer’ is high enough for them to shove even unrelated ones into my head like that. What I’m saying is, I’m girl enough for her to feel it’s an adventure, and yet have enough to make her feel, shall we say… secure about what she’d be doing._
  * _That’s what I was getting at._
  * _… A couple moments ago we were kissing, and now you’re whoring me out. I don’t know if you’re a good guy or a terrible one, Matt._
  * _N-nooo! Sorry, sorry. Again. This isn’t blackmail or anything. I just think it’s an opportunity. I mean… I can’t tell if you’re into girls or anything, and I’m sure you both being, well, girls would mean you need a little bit of time, but I could try getting you two to meet. While only telling her as much as you want to be told. And my lips would be sealed in regards to anyone else, of course, unless they told me straight to my face they wanted to shag a girl with a d…_
  * _You could be a little more quiet and subtle with talking about that._
  * _I’m blunt and direct. You knew this since we first kissed._
  * _Okay, I’d be bitchy if I shifted all the blame to you. But, I am a little bit… worried. I didn’t mean for this knowledge to spread too far, too fast. And I’m not ready to date… a girl. I think I could try sex with one, but relationships would be weird. You’re certain she’s not going to turn serious after having sex once?_



 

Matthew nodded.

  * _If you’re really as horny as you seem, you may be having more luck with seeking amongst them girls, though. You know how guys are… about that stuff._
  * _Mostly, I just know how guys are *pressured to be* about ‘that stuff’. But, yes. The moment you touched something you didn’t expect was the moment you got all Ice Queen on me. Fine, Matthew. Nobody is to know about this, and give me until next month before you try setting me up with that girl of yours. What’s her name again?_
  * _Yes, Bethany. Matthew’s bicurious ex whom he’s trying to pawn off. Nobody’s to know about this, and about our accident here, either. And you’re not getting videos of that happening either._
  * _Photos?_
  * _If we’re feeling adventurous, a single one, maybe._
  * _What do I get out of it?_
  * _Soooo, you *are* an ass after all. Waaay to go._
  * _I was joking, actually._
  * _Well, nobody will know you fondled a girl, nobody will know you touched a dick, and… you’re over 18, right?_
  * _Well, I can’t *buy* you one, but we’ll get together sometime soon and you’ll have a good drink on me, then. It was the first time a guy touched me there like this, so I owe you that much._
  * _That sounds like a pretty fair deal to me, as a matter of fact._
  * _Now let’s go downstairs before they think you’ve gagged me and are scoring a homerun or whatever. Before we go, we’ll set up the dates for meeting “Bethany” and buying you a drink._



 

 

 

 

Another three months have passed. During this time, both Alex’ explorations and her sexuality’s awakening continued. Getting along with others was no longer trouble, and it was the time to start taking things a step further.

It was time to start seriously attempting to date. Her experience with Matthew taught her that people without prior knowledge or without sufficient investment into her were unlikely to try and understand whom she was, no matter how gallant and cavalier they seemed about their refusals in the end. She also realized the emotional connection to someone seemed to intensify her sex drive, and kisses were just better if they had some kind of feelings in them, but ultimately she ended up disappointed and frustrated from that approach, too.

 

Not that she could exactly have a full-blown opinion yet, but the two attempts she pulled off were absolutely *dreadful* in their results and consequences.

Her first quasi-official mostly-boyfriend came to have the opinion that she was gaining overall ‘too much, too fast’, and the Prince of All Things Pristine also came to the understanding that somehow when she got sweaty she smelled ‘weird’. After several such unpleasant comments, it was clear attraction died on at least one side and enthusiasm died on both, so they split up before they even attempted getting into what was in Alex’ pants.

 

The other party actually was interested in Alex both for daylife and nightlife, but the ultimate attempt at doing something sexual with limited clothing ended up with the one experience she wouldn’t recommend to anyone ; Getting physically kicked away and walked out on, because of the ‘sudden reveal’ she was packing at least as much heat as her partner.

Not very encouraging experiences so far at all, and the fact that the few methods of communication Gary had with the family that he used readily – primarily, he wrote emails and sent postcards and letters, refusing to use more frequent, easy-to-use computerized communication methods that would allow Alex or his mother to get in touch with him often – were becoming more rare, it appeared as if her first love succeeded in moving on way before she succeeded in trying sex with someone who *wasn’t her brother*, which might be helpful in confirming how ‘bad’ her sex drive was and if she was able to feel the same desire or form the same connection for another person.

 

So, after a couple of meetings primarily as friends since two months back, and even exchanging contact info of each other and people that ‘might’ve been interested’, Alex landed in just the same spot as on that party three months back – Matthew successfully “whoring her out” to another girl.

 

A hermaphrodite virgin in bed, with a girl, called Bethany, recommended to her by a guy who fondled her penis and gallantly backed away, but confirmed he still shagged said Bethany occasionally at the time.

It was confusing, but Alex realized one simple thing. For most intents and purposes, she wanted to have sex and more so than not, wanted to get it over with already. She was finally reportedly attractive to people and her sex drive was as strong as ever, now once again serving as a way to escape her attachment to the person who ran away from her.

And so, she decided to build up her confidence by losing at least one kind of virginity, for starters – and evidently, either her or Matthew gave Bethany a good enough impression of her to eventually get the two girls into bed.

 

 

Now, when they were alone and already partially undressed, Alex tried her best to block out any embarrassment she might’ve had and go with the flow. She was unsure how to react to Bethany herself seeming not so confident about what was about to happen.

  * _S… soo, I take it you’re still the same as when Matthew first… mentioned everything? Or did you go through further procedures? I have to admit, I didn’t expect you to have such a well-developed body… I guess the height is the only thing that’s unusual compared to a regular girl, huh?_



 

Alex rolled her eyes a little bit. Of course, everyone who’d touch her groin and feel how much of a ‘manhood’ she had, especially when erect, would suspect a backstory of a well-endowed – which meant lucky, or with a lot of money to spend on doctors - transsexual, and now, she was more well-endowed than ever. Her most recent bras, because of her constantly increasing chest circumference and general weight and softness, were no longer able to contain her at all; she spilled out of them, and they were uncomfortable and popped frequently. This meant either her chest got too wide, she surpassed even the largest and most underbust-accommodating set of C-cup bras, or both.  Her height was impressive for a seventeen year old girl, too, breaking well over 170 centimeters line.

  * _Well, since we’ll… try to have sex, Bethany, you should probably know the truth rather than what Matthew assumed about me._
  * _The truth? What do you mean?_
  * _Well, I’m sure a regular person like you gets confused when it comes to things like queer or transgender or transsexual people at times, right? You don’t even know if you’re bisexual yet. You’re just curious for now._
  * _Well, it’s not really that confusing. A person born one way, but identifying as and trying to be another way is transsexual. If they don’t undergo direct surgery, it’s probably because getting the other set of genitals isn’t guaranteed to be satisfying, I guess? That’s what it was with you, right?_
  * _Not exactly. You see, I know perfectly well how either set of genitals feel. When excited and caressed, that is._
  * _… Now, *that’s* confusing._



 

Alex didn’t waste much time sliding out of her clothes, and Bethany was just watching her body as it was revealed.

The hermaphrodite had these minor telltale signs before anyone even got to inspecting her panties. She lucked out on the so-called Adam’s Apple being indistinguishable from a girl’s, but her shoulders were a little more developed than they should be. She was tall for a woman, too. Her hips were a little thinner than they should be. Since she put on weight and developed breasts, nobody would really notice, and her figure was majorly on the womanly side at last, but under her own scrutinizing, merciless gaze, these things tended to become more apparent, as did the side-effect of her sudden breast development.

 

Bethany tilted her head when Alex was reduced to barely underwear, since said underwear only managed to magnify the apparent effect of things spilling out both above and below the waist.

  * _W… wow. How did you…? Wow._
  * _Just so you know, I’ve had image issues all my life because this right here? Seems like it only developed in the past nine months, and started budding in the past twenty or so._
  * _Even the dick?_
  * _Oh, the gentle and considerate words of a woman. No. That’s been relatively large always, and was growing slowly but constantly, if I say so myself. But it’s not the only thing that I have, which is the thing I am trying to explain._



 

Alex lightly spun around, then gasped, and finally sighed in a somewhat resigned manner. Bending forwards to make sure Bethany had a perfect view of it, Alex grabbed the hem of her panties – she tended to *hate* being in underwear designed for women, but decided she’d try wearing it for the situation – and peeled them away to the side after struggling with it being devoured by her increasingly expansive buttocks. Bethany became fully aware of just what the mound and the barely visible slit that seemed to, in this position, be placed behind or ‘right above’ her somewhat visible balls was.

  * _Ohmigosh you are… you’re a girl! I mean, you’re a girl as well? I mean, you…_
  * _Half a minute ago you thought I was a transsexual, but now, a vagina is the thing that makes me a girl?_
  * _I… I’m sorry. I’m just… totally shocked, I mean…_
  * _It’s something I had to keep a secret from a lot of people all my life. Barely anyone knows. But, if there’s such a thing as a ‘true hermaphrodite’ amongst humans, I’m it. Everything down there works. There was no tissue left for a proper and more obvious clitoris, but I’m sensitive inside and I feel like I might’ve gotten a better idea of what’s going down there if I had more experience with sex or masturbation._
  * _So you can get… wet? *And* hard?_
  * _More often than not, both happen at once, though it’s a little more complicated than that._
  * _Orgasms?_
  * _Not enough experience to really tell the how’s and why’s in the girl parts. It… I’m sure it could be pleasurable to me, but there’s been nobody brave enough to try giving me some attention there properly. The orgasms from the un-girly parts are intense enough._
  * _Well, if you want to, I can try playing with your… your pussy. Part of the reason I’m trying this it to see how I feel about women and all. I also wanted to see if it’s true what they say about girls getting each other off better, so it’s actually a good sign you have one of those._



 

Something felt a little wrong about this to Alex.

[“It’s all so… empty. There’s neither formality nor emotion. No ceremony. We’re going to shag and all I know is that I’m a fucking Kinsey Scale-o-meter to that girl, and she wants to see if I can get her off better than a boy would. I can’t even bring myself to say I’m fucking pure as snow unless mind dirtiness and trying to get laid for years like a desperate nymphomaniac count. Well, I better not mention who was the most frequent target of these attempts. To anyone. Ever.”]

  * _… Well, that’d explain how your body looks so soft and natural. There’s a charm to that, too._



[“Are you trying to compliment me, or sound condescending, miss waist-of-a-cheerleader?”]

  * _So, I take it you still didn’t get your precious bicurious experience before now?_
  * _Nah, you’ll be my first. No worries, though. I’m not the kind of gal that falls in love from sex. Even good sex._
  * _Y…yeah… Do you want to do something beforehand, or just, you know, go at it straight away?_



[“No point in treating her well or trying to lay on any charm if it’s meant as something purely about fucking from the start, I guess… Heck, I don’t even know if I can fall in love with people myself. At least with girls.”]

  * _Well, some foreplay is a good idea, and at first we’d need to get acquainted and used to one another without clothes, but… I don’t think there’s a need to pretend this is about wining and dining. I’m temporarily out of the dating game and emotional side of things, and we’ve both known why we were introduced to one another know. I think the ‘playing the field’ part was already done by us waiting for so long and occasionally meeting as… friends, I suppose._



[“-Bitch, you’re not halfway on the way to be called a friend. You’re a cocksock.-“]

[“And by that, I mean that you’re just nowhere close enough to compare yourself to Lachlan, and you’re selling yourself way too easy simply because I have this sort of body… well, this’d be the first time I got laid, both with, and through that kind of body, so I can’t complain.”]

[“-Is cumdump more courteous and that’s why you’re complaining-?“]

  * _Alex? Something wrong?_
  * _Ah, no, sorry. Just… remembered something I hoped I wouldn’t at this kind of time._
  * _Ex? Was she a bitch?_
  * _It’s not an ex. Just so you know, I’m not exactly a lesbian, either, though I guess you don’t mind either way._
  * _I just thought since you said your pussy didn’t have much experience… It’s probably not easy getting guys interested in these times. Your upper body is lovely, but they have a one tr…_
  * _I know, Bethany. Quite well. Let’s not… mention that. I mean, we don’t want me suddenly developing impotence at the wrong moment. It’s a tad depressing and doesn’t concern us at the moment, after all. About getting used to each other… let’s undress. I think you have nothing to be ashamed of in regards to your body, unlike me… Which makes being a little blunt and direct somewhat helpful, I guess._



 

With that, the two of them went about slowly removing one article of clothing after another. Bethany really did appear like the traditional, popular high school girl – almost like an American cheerleader, one could say – with a slim, relatively fit body, average height, and breasts a tad smaller than what Alex came to be carrying. Since the hermaphrodite herself seemed to have just freshly and barely outgrown C-cups as measured by British or Australian measurements, it was fair to assume Bethany herself had the mentioned size. She had brown hair, long and flowing way below her shoulders, as opposed to Alex, who only just got to the point of ceasing to cut them once they reach that length.  Her nipples seemed to have that perfect proportion to them as her bra dropped – with only barely noticeable areolas, cute, pink, and with nipples long enough to stick out and suck on, but not being particularly prominent.

Alex also came to the point where she had to remove her – slightly too tight – bra. Her sportsy past combined with her muscle’s being constructed just a tad differently from those of purely female persuasion left her increasingly more abundant breasts a tad more resistant to the effects of gravity than usual, meaning she didn’t have to be embarrassed about her size nor her perkiness. But the sudden growth was hardly something perfect or to be proud of, and the area around her nipples seemed to be particularly affected, especially in regards to one of the traits many considered to be the most attractive in humans – symmetry.

Alex’ left nipple was starting to grow to be larger. The areola expanded, the tip appeared to become thicker, and while both of her nipples were darkening to a somewhat sensuous, somewhat worrying shade of red, even that they didn’t do at the same pace – at this time, her right nipple, with a smaller areola and being little more than a cute bump surrounded by expanding and by now, somewhat impressive breastflesh, was brighter than her left one, even if it was barely noticeable. Also barely noticeable was the fact that her left nipple’s areola was definitely wider than the right’s, the nipple was plumper, and had about the same length as on her other breast. It didn’t look bad *yet*, but Alex noticed the tendency for the discrepancy to grow along with her breast size.

Regardless of her new set of breasts being imperfect, Bethany seemed quite enchanted with them, and being watched mostly naked was exciting Alex as well, causing her heartbeat to quicken.

The two looked at each other, up and down, with Bethany reaching down to take off her skirt, pantyhose, and underwear; Alex already had only the latter on her body, and it was already heavily stretched from her member being partially erect and throbbing occasionally, trying to get more so.

  * _You’re… not the smallest one I’ve seen, definitely. It doesn’t even look fully hard yet!_
  * _It… does beat the average already, I suppose… Is it a big of a deal with other girls?_
  * _Well… many guys don’t really know how to touch a clitoris, and when they can’t really find the sensitive spots inside, either, the best bet they have is simply having a huge dick to rub them automatically. And some girls just need to be stretched to enjoy it, too, so bigger’s more popular easily._
  * _I see. Well…_



 

Alex slowly laid herself out on the bed by Bethany’s side, kicking off her shoes and pulling herself up so her legs could be spread.

  * _I only really masturbated myself down there when I got really hot, personally, but it felt like it was pretty sensitive. I was a bit silly, trying to keep my hymen and whatnot. Never even knew if I had one. If I did, maybe it’s gone, maybe it isn’t, but I’m a bit backed up with both… and a bit more experienced with cock-orgasms, I guess. Part of the problem may be that I don’t know where the heck my clit is. I mean… you may not know, but technically clitoris and penis develop from the same cells, just differentiated and spread in a different manner, so it may be I simply have a penis instead of what girls have on the outside. Does make girl-side masturbation harder if I’m not to keen on fingering the heck out of myself._
  * _I… I see. I think you’re rather pretty, and I’m curious about how it works… down there. Are you okay with me starting now, and from there?_
  * _S…sure. Just… go easy on me, and if you feel anything remotely hymenlike, please don’t push forwards through it, whatever you do, okay?_
  * _You know, it’s actually not a bad idea to just pop it and enjoy your first time having sex normally… but I’ll respect your wishes. Okay, here comes nothing._



 

[“Now it’s “Here comes nothing”. I’ll give it to you, Bethany. You are with a girl and make me feel like a girl, probably because right now, you seem somewhat… shallow. And we’re both unsure what the fuck are we doing.”]

 

It was indeed an odd sensation to be allowing another girl to explore her body now. Alex had limited experience when it came to sexual fantasies that didn’t involve Gary or boys she met on parties, but she did know she was able to be excited by a female body – just not whether she was actually able to have sex with a girl. Or anyone, for that matter.  Bethany’s sleek and dainty fingers rubbed up and down Alex’ spread thighs, and she seemed fascinated by the texture.

  * _Those are soft, but seem so strong. D…don’t clench them too tight around my head even if it feels good, all right?_
  * _I’ll try._



[“I don’t even know if I’m the clenching type. Do I have to spell out I’m a total virgin in this situation, or… Or what?”]

Regardless, Bethany seemed pretty dexterous and used to handling male parts. Simply softly tugging up and down with her fingertips while gently pushing up at the male side of Alex’ sex with her fingertips to uncover the entirety of the hermaphrodite’s female sex was proving to feel both pleasant and comfortable.

  * _I think you might’ve been right. Your labia lips are all sorta different here than mine or any I’ve ever managed to catch a glance on, and there’s no visible clitoral hood anywhere. I’m going to try running my tongue on the lips and flicking it on the inside a bit, all right?_



 

[“… Do I really need to confirm I want to get oral sex?”]

Hearing no refusal, Bethany did however seem nervous herself as she flicked her tongue across the area closest to Alex’ opening, rubbing the labia lips with it, then moving across the slit, and flinging her tongue upwards experimentally a couple of times. The blonde seemed to feel that different areas had vastly different levels of sensitivity, but couldn’t really find it in herself to get fully ready ‘down there’ at Bethany’s inexperienced and experimental touches.

  * _B-Bethany?_
  * _Yeah?_
  * _Is it… okay down there? With the taste, scent, and whatnot… And also, are we going to need a condom?_
  * _I’m healthy and on the pill. You?_
  * _… Healthy._
  * _Then we don’t, but it’s good you’ve thought of it. And you taste and smell all right, I guess. It’s girly of you to be concerned._



 

Alex’s eyes did kind of roll back a bit when Bethany lowered herself towards her sex again, this time fitting the moist muscle from inside of her mouth into her passage, the inner walls tightening even further almost to the point of clenching the invader. That felt good, almost good enough to let her voice out, but now she was stressed out about some other aspect.

Girlyness. Thousands of thoughts. How did things really interact down there for her? Did her sexes have different drives and needs, or melted together into one large pile of sexual desire? Furthermore… If she didn’t smell much like a guy down there, what was happening to her male side now that she was finally becoming girly? Alex remembered trying to shave off what seemed a bit of excessive facial hair twice in her life back when she hit 15, but she never had that trouble again. It coincidentally was about the same time when her uncle illegally “helped” her with a dosage of bonus female hormones and all that… Did that push her growth off the rails in some manner?

Bethany continued, flicking her tongue in and out of Alex, then slowly tracing along her balls, and up the shaft. Alex shivered, which caused Bethany to giddy up.

  * _Maybe you were right. The shaft normally isn’t that sensitive. People lick and suck along it to show off, let the other person chill off, differ the sensations, and because it looks good in porn, but you’re genuinely feeling it at this point, too, right?_
  * _Uhhh… The base feels good… then it’s weaker along the length… and it grows stronger again near the tip._
  * _You’re a sexologist’s dream, I bet._



With far more practiced and confident movements, Bethany’s tongue reached the tip of Alex’ member. Pulling back the rather humble amounts of foreskin that didn’t manage to cover Alex’ tip when she grew fully erect, Bethany’s tongue started to roll and drill across the tip of Alex’ member and this time the hermaphrodite really had to let out an eager moan.  It seemed that either her womanhood wasn’t as keen on having a girl down there, her Bethany was just that much better at handling masculine organs, or, what scared Alex, that her member was just better developed in terms of bringing her pleasure from sex.

She’d have to properly try having her girl-parts pleasured in a variety of ways to know, however. Right now, her thoughts were managing to slowly, but surely dissipate and ease off on the self-doubts simply because of the fact the other girl was doing a fairly good job out of pleasing her cock. Bethany’s lips followed what was probably already a year or – god forbid, if she started illegally early – two or more of practice, focusing her attention on lightly slurping and suckling at the crown after putting it inside of her mouth, and flicking her tongue across the slit and very tip until she had to release Alex’ girth with a loud “Puah”.

Alex looked down and the reason for the sudden stopping was obvious. Her girth seemed just large enough to make Bethany’s mouth hurt a little just by stretching to accommodate the tip, even if she wasn’t going in deep.

  * _Sorry, will need a moment to adjust to all that. Geesh. You’re quite blessed all around, it seems._
  * _Didn’t help so f… d-don’t drill your tongue against that spot like that!_
  * _Sorry. I guess your sensitive spots in here are roughly as usual. Hey, wanna try doing mine at the same time?_
  * _S… sure. Just remember I’m not going to be magically adept at it, even if some girls seem to be._
  * _Ohhh, going all humble and shy._



Bethany proved athletic enough to easily swing her leg over Alex before the latter even noticed, slowly lowering her own hindquarters closer to the other girl’s face. There was a certain odd attractiveness to her hips, which Alex noted was precisely because they *didn’t* seem overly big nor was Bethany heavy-bottomed. Another stray thought about how this reflected on Alex’ own sexuality. Rather than excessively ponder, Alex quickly pushed her thumb around where she knew what she herself was lacking should be located, flicking the other woman’s clitoral hood while slowly, tentatively trying to push her fingers inside. Bethany responded by lightly spitting over Alex’ own member and rubbing the resulting extra lubrication all over its length, trying to make it easier for herself to push Alex back inside of her mouth, even if it was only to tease the most sensitive area.

Alex shuddered from the sudden increase of pleasure, and from Bethany getting significantly less gentle with her attentions, which had both the positive effect of getting Alex’ member stiff, throbbing, and lightly dripping, and had the negative effect of other sensations becoming far more present. Alex’ sense of touch was apparently overdeveloping mildly…

The blonde tried to focus on returning some of the pleasure she was experiencing. She wasn’t at all sure how to provide oral sex to anyone, so for now she focused on manual stimulation, which she was a bit more used to since she occasionally tried it on herself. First and foremost, however, Alex’ sharp senses and perceptiveness allowed her to learn Bethany’s reactions by heart, the brown-haired girl’s hips twitching, rolling, and shivering in different ways depending on how deep and at which angle the hermaphrodite’s fingers went inside. Some movements even granted her a pause in being orally assaulted in favor of the other girl stopping for a short moment and releasing a pleased sound into the hermaphrodite’s shaft, the vibration of which was certainly confusing Alex as to what point of her ascent towards orgasm she was at.

 

Bethany seemed appreciative of the dexterity and mix of tenderness, enthusiasm, and capacity for forcefulness the blonde’s slightly androgynous in appearance palms and fingers had.  Alex, for her part, was evidently surprisingly incorrect about not becoming ‘magically adept’ at pleasuring her partner’s inner walls, purely because of how perceptive she’s been in regards to what provoked a reaction. Wanting to stimulate her counterpart even more, Alex leaned in and started rubbing and curling her fingers inside the brunette by memory and instinct rather than relying on her eyes for any longer, and tried extending her tongue against Bethany’s clitoral hood.

 

This evidently prompted Bethany’s competitive side into action, the darker-haired and more slender of the duo grasping Alex’ testicles, extending a single finger to slowly rub and tease along her entrance, and starting to rapidly bob her head up and down the other girl’s length.

 

The sensation was surprisingly rough and, once again Alex’ genitals seemed a little confused in regards to what was happening. But, after several moments of sliding her tongue and fingers long the most sensitive of Bethany’s parts, the hermaphrodite realized one thing – her member was still too sensitive to this sort of stimulation for this to continue much longer, and Bethany was just too *skilled* at stimulating male parts compared to the relatively experimental masturbation Alex was used to. The blonde parted herself from Bernadette’s groin momentarily and released a groan, before warning her.

  * _I-I don’t think I’ll last long if you keep going!_



 

It’s not that she expected Bethany to decide to give her an orgasm regardless, but the brunette girl immediately moved her hand up to Alex’ length, squeezed it down almost to the point of pain, and extracted her tip from the inside of her own mouth while pulling her tongue away from Alex’ member as much as possible. It was like all of the stimulation and pleasure was suddenly denied in favor of making sure the male side of her genitals didn’t get to climax.

[“G-guh? Wha… Is… is this what girls and boys do to prolong the experience? Isn’t this kind of…”]

Bethany just giggled cheerfully as she spun over again, pulling her butt out of Alex’ face.

  * _Your fingers are quite good, so that got me fired up, sorry, sorry! But your tongue’s surprisingly not that good yet for some reason. Well, if we’re going to do it the biblical sense, you should probably learn on how to best prepare a girl to be penetrated. Could you go down on me now? My jaw’s gotten a little sore, and you need to cool off before you stick it inside, anyway._



Bethany’s hands moved up to Alex’ breasts and started to rub and fondle them lightly without a pause whole she was speaking, which sent another shiver through the hermaphrodite’s body.

[“That’s the first time she touched them, come to think of it, but it’s like it didn’t matter at all. Neither a question asked, nor that adorable near-dumb enthusiasm the more forward guys have when they try to touch them. It’s like they were her own. And what’s with that… that… sense of self-entitlement she has?”]

  * _Alex? Something wrong? I just thought you may wanna learn how to…_



[“Oh, right. She’s the bicurious one and touched my pussy for roughly one minute, but I’m the one who should practice going down on girls. Oh, might as well.”]

  * _No, I was just thinking… about something. It’s okay, let’s keep going._



 

With little else to do, Alex shifted her body so she was now on her hands and knees above Bethany. Wanting to properly experience a difference with touching a girl – while not in a fully sexual situation, she did manage to kiss and touch several boys up until now – Alex started by placing a hand along Bethany’s own breast, then pressing her lips underneath it. Her nipples dragged across the brunette’s skin – which was so prodigiously smooth, it managed to make Alex excited again – as she made her way with the little smooches down to between the other girl’s legs again.

The scent there was mild and gentle, but definitely teasing, sexual, and something Alex was only used to because she sometimes detected something similar during her own masturbation sessions – if they were prolonged enough and she didn’t shower beforehand. Earlier, she managed just the barest taste, but this time, she was going to do it properly – even if she had no idea how. Leaning in, she pressed her lips against the other girl’s nether ones in something that resembled a chaste smooch, then altered said chaste smooch into a deeper kiss. Bethany just giggled.

  * _You’re not making out with your date, Alex, you’re eating pussy. Try to find a creative way of rubbing on the clit while doing stuff with your tongue. That tends to work if a guy knows what he’s doing._



 

[“A guy. Yaaay.”]

  * _No problem, but most girls won’t like telling you what to do._
  * _It does feel kind of… awkward, doesn’t it?_
  * _Well, your face’s pretty, so I could get used to seeing something like that here, and when you angle yourself right, your breasts could… Oh. Oh, you mean telling someone what you want. I suppose for girly girls, yeah._



 

Alex at this time only supposed it may be a little better if Bethany were to shut up now, but she couldn’t bring herself to really be angry at someone who apparently thought they were doing her a favor, and who was giving her the first sexual experience, so rather than tell her that she opened her mouth wide, tried to slide her upper lip over Bethany’s clitoral hood and slide her tongue inside of the other’s proper womanhood at the same time. It wasn’t actually that easy given Alex had no practice with these sorts of “exercises”, but it was effective enough that moments after the blonde was detecting more wetness between the brunette’s legs, and Bethany actually raised a hand to her mouth and lightly bit her finger with a relaxed smile before releasing a small groan of pleasure. Continuing, Alex had to release Bethany’s sensitive bean, so she slid her tongue out of the other girl – not to escape, since Bethany’s ‘juices’ seemed mostly tasteless – and run her tongue back up against Bethany’s upper labia lips and that most sensitive spot. After several moments of focusing there and daintily prodding at the brunette’s opening with her fingers, Alex slid back down to try not to overdo things when she felt the other girl’s clitoris stiffen, emerge out of what was covering it and engorge lightly, and she detected Bethany’s reactions were varying before less intensely pleased than moments before and more intensely shocked and overwhelmed than moments before.

 

The oral service and preparation continued for quite some time. This was partially because Alex was almost enjoying the way Bethany seemed to be feeling pleasured, partially because she wasn’t sure when to stop and deem her partner ready, and partially because Bethany seemed to be a tad greedy lover. Alex was starting to believe the other girl was trying to get herself off with her tongue and lips alone, until Bethany finally motioned for her to stop and pull away.

\- A…almost there. Let’s put you inside now, m-maybe we’ll be able to go for a series of big Os.

[“Oh. Right. Girls can do that. Well, good that I got to experience soooooo many.”]

Eager to get some additional pleasure out of this experiment, Alex slowly pulled herself up from between Bethany’s legs. Being the larger of the two thanks to height and weight, but not exceedingly so, a classical position of her pinning the other girl underneath should probably work well, although she doubted Bethany’s legs would be stagnant in this variant of missionary. Indeed, one of the brunette’s legs quickly pulled itself up and placed along Alex’s shoulder, the other instead pushing up against her thigh. With that, it took some re-angling to properly bury herself in Bethany’s passage, but the more experienced girl was quite eager to help Alex realign and then feel the hermaphrodite’s rather sizeable, thick length start sinking inside of her.

The length twitched and throbbed as it immediately turned back to its previous, somewhat messily leaking state. The experience was confusing to Alex. She usually found herself more attracted towards boys, and felt like she was definitely a girl, but the magnitude of sensations that came from burying her length for the first time inside of another girl threw her off balance enough to make her forget about her inhibitions and controlling her orgasm. Instead, she was quickly lead to just pumping her hips forward, quickly, roughly, dragging her rather impressive dick through Bethany’s moist and slick passage with enough force and speed to produce audible noises and cause the other girl to toss her head back.

_\- T-that’s i-int..ens..e Fhaaakkkk…_

It was clear that Bethany expected something else entirely at first, and that she underestimated just how forcefully Alex’ hips could work when it came to trying to have sex. The sensations were confusing both of them, as a matter of fact, and neither had enough will in themselves to make anything of it other than place hands on each other’s bodies. The sweat-slick skin of either girl could only be described as erotic in the dim light of the room, and certainly the sensation of another’s soft, feminine, pliable body under their fingertips was something neither Alex nor Bethany was familiar with.

 

Not being a virgin, Bethany didn’t at all require a lot of time to adjust to Alex’ wild thrusting. In fact, she set herself up to be easily pushed over the edge in that way, the angle at which she accepted the other girl’s already over-average length . The sensitive part of the brunette’s walls was easily and eagerly being humped at, and the sensation of being stretched and taken roughly by one of the biggest, longest, and thickest cocks she has ever received, one attached to a girl that could only be described as statuesque, more or less beautiful, and with enough femininity to spill over the place more than Bethany herself did.

 

With her defenses down and her body unaccustomed to the sensation, Bethany could only toss her head back as she clearly approached her climax. Alex didn’t seem to fully notice or care, eagerly pumping her hips – as wide and probably coated in more softness than the shorter brunette’s – forward in a rather blunt and uncreative manner, lead on by the feeling that the powerful release that could be obtained by joining with another like this was right at her fingertips, for now depending entirely just at the angle of the entrance and her sheer girth – and, to a lesser extent, length – to extend the enjoyment to more than herself. Alex’ increasingly feminine and soft body jiggled and swayed against and over Bethany’s own in a way the bicurious brunette found herself utterly unfamiliar with, making it, while her hips plunged in and out at one of her more sensitive areas energetically with force that she only came to associate with boys beforehand.

 

Finally, Alex was experiencing her first time. She felt disconnected with herself, disconnected with the woman she was pumping her length into. But she didn’t feel displeased or frustrated. Not at all. The sensation that came over her when her almost wild pumping more or less accidentally brought the smaller brunette to an orgasm washed over her, the at-first  intuitive realization that she was, for the first time, responsible directly for another person’s orgasm seemed to wash away the last of her self-control.

 

Bethany’s passage reflexively squeezing and kneading at her length took care of the rest. As the quivering muscles of the brunette’s passage squeezed down and gripped on Alex’ length, the hermaphrodite couldn’t resist the temptation anymore, her member twitching, testicles tight, as the first shot of semen was pumped from her tip and right inside the woman under her. Alex couldn’t resist the pleasurable, toe-curling and moan-wringling sensation that came from having an almost simultaneous orgasm with someone else, her shaft spewing rope after rope of seed inside of the other girl, only coaxed to do more by the constant squeezing along her length.

 

At the feeling of being stuffed full of seed once the second spurt of what Alex was releasing was over, Bethany’s eyes opened wide with realization of what was happening once the first wave of her orgasm passed through her.

 _\- W…what, already?_ – the brunette asked with indignant surprise in her voice as Alex tried to successfully ride off the last waves of the messy accident she had, caused by Bethany’s own climax, her hips now moving eratically and with less force than before. The brunette was surprised, to say the least.

_\- W…what do you mean, already? You came too!_

_\- Well, yeah, but… I’m… I’m multiorgasmic and pretty much no cocks are, so why didn’t you hold back a little? I told you I was thinking about going for several!_

_\- Hold back? Going for several? Well, why can’t I do that, too? Besides, it was my first time, how am I supposed to hold back when you’re squeezing so tightly all of a sudden?_

_\- First time? You’re a… you’re a virgin? With your dick, I mean? I thought you said…_

_\- That I knew my orgasms better with it than with my pussy! I never said I had more experience! I never went after girls before, and guys aren’t exactly keen on having *any* sort of sex with me! I’m pure as fucking snow, except in the mind! Well, I was, before miss “Wanna-go-for-multiple-orgasms” decided to try her bicuriousness out with me!_

_\- Psh! Guess even if you’re a girl with it, a virgin cock is no fun!_

_\- You came all over my dick!_

 Bethany suddenly bit her lip, realizing she might’ve went the wrong way about all this. With Alex’ body and the size of her member, it was hard to believe she didn’t get any sex up until that point.

_\- You’ve really never done it? With anyone? Weren’t you weirded out about doing it with someone you barely even know?_

_\- Of course I was! But I’ve been trying to date or play around with guys for a long while now, and none seemed to accept me if they learned the truth. All the while, I’ve been wanting to try sex while trying my best to *not* go after girls which everyone convinced me were the better or more accessible option for someone like me. I’m just too fucking frustrated to pull it off anymore. Apparently, you get more confident when you’re through with that, and things get easier._

_\- That’s only true for boys you know. But oh well. By the way… your load’s different from what I’m used to._

 

Alex sighed as the last dregs of her semen were slowly flowing from her freshly-climaxed shaft and into her partner, deciding to drag herself off of Bethany and falling to her side.

_\- I don’t know why. I think my liquids get just a tad mixed up. Like, there may be some seminal fluid mixed in with the girl-juice when I orgasm from there, and my sperm’s watered down with what’s normally used for lubrication of girl-parts. It shouldn’t be a huge mixup, but maybe it’s detectable… I don’t know._

_\- Might be because of how much you seemed to put in there. See? It’s all leaking out now. That’s normal, though, just not at this odd pace._

_\- You’re completely sure you took your pill and everything, right?_

_\- Yes, I’m not so silly as to not take it the day I get dicked by a girl, geez._

 

[“It’s better than when she was saying virgin cocks are no fun, but… I practically feel used. What the heck happened, and why did it last so short? Shouldn’t… shouldn’t my first time make me feel connected to someone, too?”]

 

Suddenly, without much ceremony to it once again, Bethany shifted to turn towards Alex once more, the girl’s smooth and dainty hands coming to rest against Alex’ breasts and starting to rub and squeeze them. One of her palms, however, was slowly moving lower, over her navel and eventually grasping the hermaphrodite’s member in her hand.

_\- W… what the?_

_\- Finger me._

_\- Excuse me?_

_\- Neither of us got to really enjoy it thoroughly this time, and if you’re a virgin you should still be able to go again soon enough just from remembering how good it felt. So we’ll try to get you back up, and in the meantime, finger me._

 

Alex shrugged with a little sigh. She felt a little odd about feeling a girl’s hands on her breasts, and about Bethany focusing on her cock out of the dual set of genitals she sported, put the girl was certainly skilled at what she was doing and right about Alex wishing she could enjoy the pleasure a little longer – or again, as the case may be. Her shaft sensitive, it felt a little risky to consider that option, but after spending so many years unable to enjoy any form of sex, it was a welcome change to be able to try it with someone who actually seemed eager to do more.

 

With a hand wrapped around her flagging erection, tugging it up and down, softly at first, but with increasing tightness, the new sensation along with the teasing of her quite sensitive breasts had Alex yield to the pressure exerted by her current – so  far, only – partner. She angled both of her hands towards her partner’s groin, slowly, manually stimulating it by placing the fingers of one hand over the other’s clitoral hood, rubbing tenderly, while her other palm’s fingertips dug inside of Bethany, burying themselves in the leftovers of their almost synchronized climax, stirring up her own seed and semed inside by plunging in and out and wiggling her fingertips lightly.

 

Bethany seemed to enjoy that as she squeezed Alex’ breasts that much harder, and her hand momentarily lost the discipline in its actions over her cock, but quickly she instead redoubled her efforts, stroking the other girl’s shaft faster and harder as if that would ensure it went from half-soft to fully hard again. Having never had the opportunity to do so despite her many attempts to get her brother and then other boys to bed her, Alex found it oddly enjoyable to bury her fingers in a cum-filled pussy, and wondered if masturbation with that side of her would also be better after someone came inside of her – a thought she knew would remain but a wish for a while, still.

 

Regardless of her thoughts, Alex continued to tease over Bethany’s womanhood and be stroked and breast-fondled in return, until she begun to notice the telltale signs of another approaching climax in the brunette. Annoyed, Bethany stopped fondling the hermaphrodite’s breasts – a little more impressive than her own – and lowered both hands between Alex’ legs, this time starting to rub along the lips of her pussy to add to the sensations assaulting the hermaphrodite.  With this, Alex’ sex seemed to finally stir fully, filling out Bethany’s dainty hand as the hermaphrodite’s erection returned.

_\- Huuh, trying to touch both at once seems to be having an eff…geeze how… your fingers are getting really good Alex…_

The room was filled with the smell of sex and the naughty sound of both women trying to bring the other to a higher level of arousal as their attempts at masturbating each other continued, until eventually Alex could feel Bethany’s passage becoming really twitchy again.

[“First thing close to a compliment in the last half an hour, I guess.”]

With a small whimper, Bethany took Alex’ fingers out of her passage and crawled over onto the other girl, straddling Alex’ waist and using her breasts as purchase and a resting spot for her hands before slowly moving one hand to where their waists connected, sliding the blonde’s sizeable length and girth back inside her and quickly starting to bounce and gyrate her hips while using the fingers of that hand to stimulate her clit at the same time.

_\- I’m… close again, so I’m gonna try cumming and we’ll see if you can resist it now…_

_\- It’s… freaking sensitive, don’t do it so f-fast!_

_\- You gotta work up some experience resisting these sensations if you don’t want to be a quickshot!_

 

[“W…why is this happening? I feel like I’m a set of boobs, dexterous appendages, and a cock. Why does a girl act like this? Why did it come so e-easy?”]

The sight of a pretty girl bouncing away on her length while slowly pushing herself towards a second climax was the only balm on Alex’ thoughts, the seventeen year-old growing quite jaded and regretful of putting herself in this situation momentarily, at least until the sensations on her sensitive member stopped being irritating and got pleasurable again.

 

Before Alex could make up her mind on whether sex was worth all these confusing feelings, Bethany tossed her head back and squealed in pleasure, the powerful contractions moving throughout her inner walls squeezing and rubbing across Alex’ erection in just the right manner to have her moan and shudder as well, although this time, it was still far too early for her to have an orgasm. Still, the intense, slowly dulling sensation of having her freshly climaxed dick treated in such a manner, squeezed and milked inside someone’s hot and wet body made Alex’ decision for her. Until she’d be able to find someone to have sex with meaningfully and with some emotions, some feelings, she’d just make do with this.

Bethany rolled her hips once more, licked her lips and looked down at Alex.

_\- So, I take it… we’re up for round two?_

 

 

 

 

 

A little while later...

[“Greedy and self-absorbed. The first person I managed to have sex with is an instant hookup, and a girl who is greedy and self-absorbed.”]

_\- I expected you to have it in you since I learned you were special. The second round was quite decent, and you got up for it so easily, too. Definitely the least disappointing virgin cock I ever tried out, thought there weren’t many of those._

[“Focusing on her cunt and my dick, but rubbing my breasts like they’re decoration. Why does sex have to feel… so good? Why was I so adept at it over just one try? She did seem to think I am catching on quickly, but I still felt pathetic at it at so many points. W…why couldn’t it have… Why couldn’t I have done it with…”]

 

Alex gritted her teeth to stop herself from sobbing, and this time, did so effectively.

_\- Well, maybe you’ll get a chance to try it out again when I brush up on my endurance._

_\- We’ll see. I’ll still want to try doing it full-blown lesbian style somehow, but while the bonus girl assets are nice, I think I’m a dick kind of girl. You? Feeling more inclined to turn dyke now?_

_\- My dick’s bisexual, but that’s not all of me, so I think I’ll still try going after guys. Not that my relation or sex attempts concern you that much. Right?_

_\- ~Right._

[“Vapid. I’ll just do that. Empty emotionless sex for release. It’s working for her… No. That may… not work for me. I’ll just… I’ll take things slowly and see if waiting’s any good, or if I should really go for it.”]

With that, Alex and Bethany did the only thing most people who were only in it for a romp didn’t usually do in this sort of manner.

They went to sleep, still in one bed, each with a different attitude regarding what the just learned about themselves, and about each other.

 

Neither predicted their meeting would affect them in the future, and probably neither would bet on what kind of change that’d be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sex scene was not meant to be particularly *good* in this chapter. In fact, I still feel like Bethany and Alex were too lucky and successful with their sexual affinity. If I managed to portray the feeling of awkwardness between the two of them and confusion as well as a little bit of despisal for both herself and her partner over the event in Alex, I'll be feeling a lot more successful than if the scene excited someone or was to their liking.


	13. Act 3 : Siblings' Conquests - Social Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Gary strive to push through the goals of their respective educations while trying to fill in the void left behind by being separated. For both of them, life this far away from one another is only really starting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This "Act" is written a little differently compared to the others. It is meant to cover a certain length of time (to be revealed by next act, but it's well over dozens of months) after Gary’s departure from Australia to Canada by portraying certain important events in both of the twins’ lives, and as such not only almost every featured chapter should be considered to be quite a while removed in time from the one preceeding it, they may portray events in a less-than-chronological order (although this only really extends to when we jump from Gary to Alex and vice versa). Act 3 as a whole is essentially an interim of sorts.
> 
> As a result, the length of subchapters of Act 3 will vary wildly and so will the differences in upload times. I hope it will still manage to portray the characters well in terms of what I intended for the story, both as a message (as many stories are meant to convey some type of message from the writer) and in terms of character development and plain old smut both.

**Social Circle**

 

After her ‘bout’ of sex with Bethany, Alex’ state of mind in some ways improved, ironically.

First information about how Gary was dealing overseas came in, and evidently, as always, Alice and their other would-be parent had reasons to be proud. Taking the exams overseas and managing to get into a two-year pre-university course – though it appeared he may not even be taking the first year, which, to Alex at least, sounded a little silly. What’s the façade of him taking the course for, then?

[“Just let him apply at this Korrine-whatever university straight away in the first place…”]

With her head just a little bit cleared – at last, she had some intimacy with another human being, as emotionless as it was, and she finally got to find out what the entire ‘sex’ thing was about, what people her age seemed so driven to do – although she was not much better than any of those people, also wanting to try it badly, and in various configurations to boot.

 

With the worry of being a virgin with her 18th birthday slowly approaching gone, Alex’ head cleared up at least a bit. She finally knew what sex with a girl was like, and it confirmed one fact about her sexuality – she’d benefit from occasional meaningless sex, and she could have such with women at least, but she still hoped to compare it against *meaningful* sex sometime. For now, though, she temporarily wanted a short break from the race to get laid, and as such, she gained some veneer of calm, focus, and seriousness.

Which soon, prompted by her twin brother’s success overseas, changed into something she lacked for a while now since his departure.

Drive and ambition. So, for the first time since Gary left for Canada, Alex studied for an exam way ahead of its actual date.

 

 

 

 

For Gary, however, despite the praises, things didn’t initially go quite well at first.

In fact, he was starting to be confused about what Adam actually expected of him. He insisted that he’d take this prep-course for university, and it should’ve taken two years. When really drilled for answers, Adam insisted that Gary should have a taste of “college life” and “Develop some relations in the country before he goes to a university, so he has people to fall back on.”

[*Why the hell you’d push me to try and get admitted for the second year of the course immediately, uncle? Is this even legal? They probably allow special cases, but how many strings would Uncle have to pull for me to be considered a ‘special case’? Isn’t it kind of bad? Won’t people over a year older than me be unhappy I’m suddenly transferring in out of the country and starting from third semester rather than first? Not to mention… The amount of studying to catch up was… no, it still is ridiculous! And so was the amount of paperwork even with Uncle taking care of most of it! What kind of setup for having any ‘college life’ is this? MOST OF AUSTRALIAN STATES DON’T EVEN HAVE PRE-UNIVERSITY COLLEGE COURSES SO WHY THE HELL DO I NEED ONE?!*]

 

 

It was indeed difficult speaking to anyone at first. Most of the people were polite, although he was occasionally worried if it sounded like a particular group had an accent totally different from everyone he was used to hearing.

But, finally, it felt like through his hard work and hours spent attempting to at least start some sort of contact paid off. He tried a lot -  exchanging notes to comparing data sources for projects to informing one another of little tricks and favorite aids for learning or answering… Unlike his sister’s friends, for Gary’s new acquaintances this meant energy drinks, non-dulling sedatives for the particularly nervous people, sleeping, learning, and napping hours, and such, rather than attempting to get alcohol or not-entirely-legal entertainment, although to be fair all of Gary’s classmates were older than him by at least a year and as such, already 18 at the time.  

In either case, he finally had a small social circle he could move in. Counting it in its entirety made it actually feel rather large to Gary, but long story short, his closest acquaintances consisted of two girls and one guy, while the extended circle was four girls and three boys including him.

 

The first one and the one he got along with best so far was a bespectacled redhead by the somewhat unusual name of Kailene. She was born at the beginning of the year and so was over a year and a half older than him, but appeared to immediately start respecting him when she realized he managed to catch up with the studies anyway and wasn’t there just on the whims of some university big shot of a relative. Respect seemed to slowly evolve into friendship, but Gary didn’t honestly expect to meet anyone he’d fall in love with in this place, so for now they were approaching said friendship somewhat professional on both sides. Still, he couldn’t help appreciating her intellect and admitting there was a charm to her behavior, although it was the kind of charm a strict office lady would have. Kailene was just marginally shorter than him at the time he started attending, meaning she was likely just below a hundred and seventy centimeters in height, had a small amount of freckles that didn’t seem to make her more or less attractive, and hazel eyes. He tried not to stare at her body too much, because apparently here overseas she managed to get teased about some part of it being ‘too thick’, though he couldn’t find it in himself to find the flaw. It’d be rude to ask, anyway. Despite her demeanor, Kailene was a great help to everyone who befriended her, so he just reasoned maybe she wasn’t exactly much into conveying her feelings through kindness and just preferred to do it pragmatically. She never spoke about any relatives or boyfriends, so so far much of her private life remained a mystery, but a peculiar friendship with a ‘secret’ relative was revealed later once he met some of her friends. Gary felt it was somehow unfair as she was able to provide some of the others with some quite good advice. He felt a couple steps closer to her from the start partially because neither of them handled sun well; from what Gary understood it wasn’t uncommon in natural redheads to be a little sensitive to it, although nowhere near as much as an albino like him would.

 

Introducing the second girl in the group next, Susan, who was long-legged and statuesque, being a little taller than Gary when he begun attending. She was several months younger than Kailene, had blue eyes, a face that was somewhat above plain but not found truly beautiful by others. Her legs drew more eyes in, although some boys here seemed to prefer girls who simply were shorter than Susan was, so as he learned pretty early on, she was single. From what he noticed so far, Susan was quiet, thoughtful, and rational, but with a kind side she showed more readily than Kailene, as if striking the balance to her friend.

 

Gavin’s name unfortunately had them be referred to once as the Ga-Ga combo, but thankfully it didn’t stick. Gavin was 183 cm tall, which he proudly mentioned at times given most people in class just happened to be close in height but fall short of 180 cm line. He had a dark blondish hair color and amber eyes, which gave him a tad of an exotic look, and a British accent inherited from his mother’s side, apparently, which likely would’ve made him a killer combination with the ladies if he wasn’t just a tad on the sportless side and coming close to combining geeky, nerdy, and dorky in perfect measures. For someone like him, however, Gavin might’ve ended up being a good friend, although occasionally the current male friend-candidate’s eye color reminded him of his sister at the oddest of times. Gavin was upfront, honest, and a little louder than the others, but unlike most people with these characteristics he was perfectly able to shut up; these characteristics made interacting with him quite pleasant. Out of the four, he was the weakest in most subjects but was hardly a bad student.

 

These three were Gary’s closest circle of would-be friends, but through interacting with them he was forced to try and be accepted by their wider circle as well, essentially doubling the number of people he had to try and get along with.

 

Shaina was a blonde with hazel eyes and a personality that would’ve mirrored Kailene if not for the former’s tendency to break into singing or humming when she heard some sort of music, enjoying many variations and types of it. She matched Kailene’s intelligence and diligence in almost its entirety, which could only end with the two girls being rivals or close friends. When the two were teased on being siblings separated in childhood, they accidentally revealed they were in fact cousins, explaining at least some of the similarities. They had similar body types, too, except with some transfer of width here and there and Shaina seeming to be just a little more fit.

Marcus completed the group’s “official” feel with his own professional, ambitious attitude and frequently-expressed political views that seemed to bore everyone by now, but he had enough natural charisma to make people a little drawn to him and  enough sensibility to eventually shut up about it when he recognized everyone involved knew everything he was going to say.

The group’s otherwise serious image was ‘ruined’ by the inclusion of Emily, who was a shorter, brown-haired, green eyed girl prone to throwing cheerful expressions, complaining her bra or top felt too tight, and learning things through putting them into crazy rhymes and little songs that seemed to help no one else but her… And yet in her case seemed tremendously effective as she regularly had amongst the best scores in the group. She seemed to have some past with Marcus and Shaina that the latter two didn’t want to discuss, but was evidently amicable with them and tried to be so with everyone involved.  

 

These were the people who completed Gary’s social circle.

And now, that social circle was insistent on discussing which university everyone would be going to *after* they were done with the pre-uni college course.

Which made it doubly awkward as thanks to their ‘backstories’ being more or less revealed no one had to ask Gary anything about it.

_\- So, we all know what and where the young mister Lunarson will be attending, but what about the rest of you?_

_\- It’s kind of rude to say that, Marcus._ – Kailene cut in. – _Especially given the fact that at least some of us may end up attending with him. Even if it’s a different course._

 

Emily tilted her head and rose a palm to her mouth.

_\- Do, ho, ho~! Should we take it as indication on Kailene’s answer? The super serious Kailene certainly won’t go to Korrine University in pursuit of a boy, though?_

_\- Don’t be ridiculous. Yes, I will be applying to Korrine University, but my interest lies elsewhere. It’s prone to give me a job in industry or at least in some lab or the other. I’d likely choose a course related strongly to chromatography or spectroscopy rather than anything related to the strictly medical side of chemistry._

 

Shaina half-smiled at that, taking over from her cousin.

_\- I take it all of us expected this sort of serious attitude from both of us. I may turn to polymers myself, but I likely won’t be attending with you two. I sort of hoped to stay around this state. I may reconsider one way or the other, but that’s what I’m leaning towards right now. Although I still consider things like bio, organic, and medical chemistry, since that’s what the college course was primarily leaning towards._

Susan decided to join in before they completely dropped the topic of the university Adam was teaching at.

_\- I’ll… likely also apply at Korrine. I do want to go biochemistry or something medicinal, pharmacy perhaps._

_\- So, for now that’s the two of you in addition to Gary. Frankly I did consider applying at Korrine, I’m just unsure about going to a private university that’s so new and in a different state. – Marcus responded._

_\- Well, then double negative points for initial rudeness. – Susan teased, prompting a giggle from Emily._

 

Gary decided to finally say… *something* to add to the discussion, since it was pretty much obvious where he’d be going.

_\- It’s sort of funny when you think about how many sub sciences are out there now. I mean, when kids are little they mostly just say stuff like “I like chemistry” or “I hate Physics”. Now here we are, each and every one of us having been educated in chemical and biochemical sciences and yet we’ve already gotten so much diversity on what we may be studying at university proper. Though Shaina’s a little brave to be considering a twist like that now, knowing her she’d be well-prepared._

_\- Well, Gary, we’re no longer in Middle Ages, where we’d all be alchemists._

_\- I’m betting Kailene could actually discover the Philosopher’s Stone back then, but that’d annoy Marcus and he’d try to prove her a fraud._ – Emily cut in on Gavin’s joke.

 

Others also shared their goals for university. Shaina seemed the only one planning to turn relatively sharply out of the field of organic chemistry, biochemistry, and medical-related chemistry sciences the course has been preparing them for. Kailene’s interest in technical and analytical aspects of a related field didn’t seem to be particularly strongly shared in the group, with Gavin complaining chromatography and most techniques for separation of mixtures only looked fun before you started trying to learn the whole technical and scientific background to them. Korrine University was mentioned occasionally as one of the choices, but only Kailene and Susan seemed set on making it the first choice.

 

And him, that is. He felt a little bad about it because he was worried his uncle was going to pull another number on him to get him admitted more easily. Then, again, maybe he wouldn’t. Perhaps the entire reason he insisted on Gary taking a course preparing for university was because he wanted him prepared for a thorough examination of his skills.

Emily took the reigns and suggested a small change of topic.

_\- Anyone you guys think you’ll be reconnecting with on university? Family? Friends? Gary, you do have some family other than parents and your uncle, right? Will they be attending Korrine as well?_

 

Gary shook his head.

 _\- I have a twin sister, but I think she’d be staying back in Australia. Didn’t ask her yet, so not sure. It’s doubtful she’d…_ \- Gary paused for a moment. For some reason he felt bad talking about Alex with others. - _… She’d try to apply for Korrine, although I wouldn’t put it past her to make it in if she honestly tried. I just always figured her own interests would be far removed from mine and my uncle’s is all. So probably something non-scientific would be the direction she’d take._

_\- Well, that’s good. I know he’s a genius, but I sort of already had this vision of your uncle as a great tyrant forcing everyone in family into chemistry._

 

Gavin shrugged.

_\- Gary would never be here if he wasn’t good at it. Personally I keep in touch with old friends so I doubt uni would be any sort of a chance to reconnect._

This was followed by Kailene.

_\- There are two or three people I’m hoping to meet once more when I’m at Korrine, but it’ll also be nice to have some friends from here to attend it with. So try your best and make sure you pick the courses you want to try the most._

_\- Sure, mom~!_ – Emily beamed with another smile before considering. _– But that mysterious line makes me want to really drill you for answers on this…_

_\- Drill your hair, I’m not telling a gossip like you nothing._

_\- That’s mean, Kailene!_

_\- I know we’re taking a break, but we *do* intend to start reviewing for the next exam at *some* point, right?_

 

Gavin got up, with Gary and Susan following.

_\- We’ll get everyone some coffee, and we can start right away._

 

It seemed like, perhaps, his uncle had *some* kind of point.

As small and hastily-put as his social circle was, there was a chance he’d still interact with some of those people in the future.


	14. Act 3 : Siblings' Conquests - There's no "S" in "Texting"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex' life keeps moving on as she learns emotional connection doesn't always mean a fulfilling and wholely satisfying relationship. However, will the care shown to her by others help her in continuing to recover, mature and improve?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updates may slow down somewhat as I need to spread my time between my RL and my stories in a way that favors the first again, but I may try focusing on Freak Love for a while in hopes of giving it 100% completion and slowly uploading the chapters, as it seems to be the most popular.

Alex was immediately aware how badly her attitude showed just moments before. How irrevocably dreadful her reaction to the situation was. How much her frustration bubbled up to the surface after festering her inner ‘bitch’ for… who knows how long. She also immediately regretted everything that she said, or at least the manner she said it in, even though it did seem like *some* girls she interacted with would react precisely in the same manner with much less actual excuse to do so.

After five minutes of a walk of shame and ten minutes of trying to sort out her feelings properly and think of a proper response and apology, getting on public transport in the meantime, she finally whipped out her cellphone and started to write down the apology message in as honest and warm tone as she could muster in the state her body was put in. It was a long one.

 

To : Oscar <3

“I’m sorry. I’m… really sorry for how I just acted. You didn’t deserve even the smallest slice of all of bitchyness that came pouring out.  I didn’t want to hurt you nor did I mean what I said to come out so badly. I don’t regret a single moment spent in your presence or a single time I managed to make you show me that pleasure-filled face when we were alone. Really. It did wonders for how I felt as a woman at the time, and you were like a soothing balm on a heart with more scars than you think are there, some probably self-inflicted by how I treated people. I was really into you, so don’t think personality’s your only good point, either, honey! But… I’m just too desperate by now. I was really excited at the prospect of doing it with you, so excited that even getting off once didn’t tone it down, so I guess I overreacted on what happened after. That’s the issue sweetheart : You’re a *really* great guy, and I’m into you emotionally and physically, which is why it just may be the wrong move to try to keep it up. I feel like we could keep dating, like we could fall in love, but from experience, I know that if we did it’d just drive me mad. I don’t want to hurt you, but if we go any deeper, I really won’t be able to hold it in anymore. I know this is not how regular girls are… But I can’t both love you and *keep waiting for sex*, much less can I try to connect with you further emotionally while seeking it *elsewhere* in any shape or form. I’m a little over the top with my physical side, but if I care about someone I wouldn’t be able to do it to them.

I want you to know that I really appreciate you and am happy if you enjoyed yourself so far.

But I hope you can find someone else who will make you enjoy yourself even more, because I think I’m starting to get where trying to pressure, guilt, or force you would lead us.

If you have something you need to tell me face to face, I’ll gladly go on one more date with you, even if it’s final. If you can let it rest and find it in yourself to be my friend eventually – yeah, I know how badly it sounds, trust me – I’d be *glad* to have you as one. But I’m well aware what we’ve just had in that room was probably a break-up, and the one thing I need you to know is how sorry I am it didn’t go any better.

Because you deserved better. I know that much.

Be happy,  
Alex”

 

[“This is sort of like a letter more than a text message. A “dear John letter” too. There’s no way he’d delete my contact number in 15 or so minutes, either, so there’s no way to sign it at the end. Oh well. “]

It took another 10 or so minutes for her to get a message back. Actually, it was two messages. She was worried it’d be something along the lines of “My answer” followed by “Fuck you” or “never message me again”, but it turned out both Oscar and her uncle wrote her almost simultaneously.

Oscar’s response was shorter than hers, but sweet enough, as appropriate for him. It was hard not to feel charmed, but Alex held no doubts how the text would end after she read the beginning.

 

 

From : Oscar <3

“I think anyone would be annoyed if they were teased for so long and didn’t get what they were promised, but… You’re probably right. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to see you for a while. I need to calm down. I don’t think you were bad for me, but you *will* be bad for me if we try to play make-believe with relationship or friendship right after that mess happened. I do also know I wasn’t the best you could get or the best you deserve, either.  
  
If you’re fine with that sort of ‘insurance’, I’ll try to contact you as friends once I’ve calmed down and gotten myself someone steady. You try being happier than with me, too.  
Oscar.”

 

Her uncle’s text was more serious.

 

From : Adam Lunarson

Your mom says you’ve seemed to ‘bloom’ lately. I’ve heard it is better at school, too, which is good since you’re finishing it. I can’t help but worry though. Your body’s completely different than just a short while back. Are you getting check-ups regularly, Alex? Are you healthy? Is everything all right?

Alex just shrugged at that, and sent a response back.

 

To : Adam Lunarson

“Too late to worry about that, and if I had to go back and do it all over again, I would. Before and just after the injection, did you know I was actually getting facial hair? More than a girl should, I mean. Now everything’s gentle and smooth up there. I can’t exactly be happy with my body yet, but it’s an improvement. If you ask how I’m feeling, I feel fine, except I think I should try getting fitter – only it’s not easy now that I’m actually trying at school once more. And the food’s so delicious, too. I guess maybe being more girly erodes willpower? If yes, then no, there’s nothing wrong with my health. You don’t have to worry. I’m fine.”

There was a long pause between her response and her uncle’s return text.

 

From : Adam Lunarson

… The number of receipts and the budget and cost efficiency of you buying underwear seems to suggest something a bit more dramatic and extreme than a newfound weakness for food and lack of exercise, Alex.”

 

To : Adam Lunarson

Mom called it “Blooming”. Ever heard of “Late Bloomers” ?

 

From : Adam Lunarson

That normally refers to talent, Alex.

 

To : Adam Lunarson.

Some people joke that **they** are a double talent. I really am fine, but will try to get a checkup. Preferably when you’re here, though. Is that all right? I don’t want you to worry. You’re constantly acting as a parent to one of Mom’s kids already.

 

From : Adam Lunarson

You both deserve the same level of care, though. And Gary’s fine. Tired, but fine. Turns out I pushed him just hard enough.

 

To : Adam Lunarson

You’re about to border on fatherly pride, Uncle. I ain’t going to be Daddy’s Little Girl no matter how much you ask. I’m different from you two.

 

From : Adam Lunarson

We’ll see about that when you start catching up again, miss “Late Bloomer”. Please take care of yourself. I’m sorry I can’t be there, but I’ve got to work, and it’s a great job out here. Your mom took a lot of time to step up, but she did, too. I’m glad you’re not worrying her anymore. We’ll be there for your birthday, so pass the exams and wait. It’d be good if you can get yourself a check-up on your own, though.

 

To : Adam Lunarson

See you then, in that case.

 

That was it for that long exchange with her ‘not-Dad’. She removed the heart from Oscar’s contact data and added his surname instead, a little sad about the fact, but trying to stay strong. It was easier with what she was given by her ‘now-ex’ so far, even if she still couldn’t lose her ‘other’ V-card to anyone decent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the shortest chapter in the whole story other than the prologue. Alex' relationship with Oscar will be referenced to and expanded upon in some of the other chapters of Act III.


	15. Act 3 : Siblings' Conquests - His First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another birthday and another new year come to pass in the siblings' lives, and both of them have some steps to take forward. Will they be able to push on, or stop right after?

 

It was just odd on so many levels.

In this day and age, people were pretty lax about teenagers dating, and some weren’t even blinking an eye on them attempting more adult relations or experimentations below the lawful age of consent as long as it was with their peers and childhood crushes, annoyed at the irresponsibility as a doting parent may be.

And so, Gary realized it was odd to begin dating the first person he was ever in a romantic relationship with just after he turned 18 – just below four weeks after his birthday, to be exact.

Teenage girls were normally interested primarily in the sufficiently ‘princely’ – depending on a girl and her principles, this could’ve meant fit, handsome, popular, charming, rich, or a carefully measured mixture of more than one of those traits – peers, or guys older than them. Sometimes a fair bit older, as several females on campus proved. Gary was aware everyone was allowed to have any standards they wished and nobody had any rights to complain about others’ tastes. It was odd for a mature woman to date someone younger than her, let alone for a teenager, even if Gary could list several logical reasons why it shouldn’t be so.

And so, Gary realized it was odd to be dating a girl over a year his senior, even if they were classmates in college thanks to his influential uncle’s help in skipping grades.

 

Most of the highly serious and averagely – or below – attractive people that dated at their age did so with people they randomly struck a good relationship with, with people introduced to them by their friends, or with people they’ve known for years and came to desire romantically.

It was really similar for the attractive or popular people, really, although the spontaneity factor was often much higher, and they were singles far less often.

And so, Gary realized it was odd for a ‘serious’ girl to be dating someone she first met a year backwards.

 

For  all the body shaming many girl endured from their peers, male or female, or the media - often for the purpose of selling a product, no less – the standards upon which a guy’s general date-ability in a girl’s eyes were determined were very much physical. Of course, a girl who wouldn’t date a guy who wasn’t taller than her in her ‘favorite high heels’ wasn’t much of a loss to anyone in terms of being unable to date in Gary’s eyes, but most of them certainly had a preference for men at least a little taller than they themselves were.

If a guy was too short, his dating pool decreased. If he was overweight or too thin, he was also less likely to find anyone interested romantically.

And so, Gary realized it was odd to be dating a girl he only barely caught up to in height recently after being shorter than her for most of the time they’ve known each other.

 

Finally, most people had their first serious crushes, the first times they felt truly charmed, the first times they fell in love, relatively early on. They’ve often developed them on people who’d never date them or return their feelings, such as actors, musicians, slightly older neighbors, friends of their older siblings – and not the siblings themselves, something stubborn inside of the albino boy would remind him, teachers, and so on. In short, most people had a first crush or even a first love at an early age and it was more or less hopeless.

And so, Gary realized it was actually odd to be dating the first girl he developed a crush on, even if he took a while to feel that way.

 

And despite all those oddities, seeing her turn to face him as she was already waiting for him before their date was making him happy. Truly, honestly relieved and happy. Seeing her long, black hair lightly tossed around by the mixture of a chilly late-autumn wind – Gary was still not used to winters starting in December, after all – and her cool, blue eyes suddenly somehow convey such warmth when she saw his sorry form dragging itself to their meeting spot barely four minutes before the hour they settled on made him happy.

The fact that she was there earlier was always a little worrying, but simultaneously it conveyed something. Something that didn’t need to be put into words. She was always tidy-looking and attempted to be at her prettiest when they met, yet he found out she more often than not appeared several minutes, even half an hour before agreed-upon time.

 

Meanwhile, most of his guy-colleagues were joking with one another about how their girlfriends always either turned up way late or showed up on time but as if they hadn’t seen the meeting as a ‘date’ at all, no makeup and ultra casual clothes.

Gary wouldn’t mind if Susan did the latter, but the fact that she didn’t do either of those things made him feel… appreciated.

Like she specifically took the effort to both look pretty and get there early whenever they met in a non-spontaneous manner. And then, she greeted him with that change in expression and that clearly-visible emotion that made her icy blue eyes seem to be incredibly warm somehow.

_\- I feel a bit crappy that you’re the one waiting for me more often than not._

_\- Nonsense. You’re almost always just on time or five minutes early, so I know when I should expect you._

_\- Then why are you here earlier?_

 

Susan smiled mysteriously.

_\- It’s a three-way tie, honestly._

_\- Between?_

_\- Between seeing the look on your face when you see me already here, that anxious bit of happiness I feel waiting for the last five or ten minutes before you arrive, and a silly fantasy of mine._

 

Gary raised an eyebrow.

_\- Fantasy?_

_\- Yes. Fantasy. That one day I’ll be standing around, waiting for you, oh-so-prettied up, beaming with enough positivity that someone will come up, try to hit on me, and I’ll proudly declare I’m waiting for my boyfriend._

 

Gary’s lips pursed to the side a little.

_\- I don’t know if it’s ultra girly or very non-girly of you, honestly. I don’t know if I should be happy hearing that little ‘fantasy’, either._

She offered him a slightly apologetic smile.

_\- No, it’s not at all that I actually want anyone else to hit on me, you know. It’s just that, growing up when it seemed to be a thing amongst girls and on the Internet at times to so proudly declare “I have a boyfriend” as a deterrent, and having spent so many years single, it turned into a quiet little hope I’d be able to do this just once._

_\- I see. Unexpectedly silly, then._

_\- Teasing your elders again?_

_\- I dread the day I instinctively spank you in bed and you pull that line on me._

  
She sighed, tilting her head just a little bit.

 _\- It’s still… a bit too early for that._ – Her expression was sad for a moment, but then jumped right back to playful again. – _Though if you promise to omit spanking, there’s a chance of skipping a grade and getting that course early…_

_\- Teasing your juniors again?_

_\- Let’s get in before the situation gets flipped upside down entirely! Whatever shall we do then!?_

 

It was more nervous at first. More… awkward. But they grew into it relatively quickly. They were never going over the top with teasing each other – as some couples were prone to do, but they also were able to recognize when the other party was just being playful and both could play along with it reasonably well.

He was charmed further every time. In the beginning by the awkwardness as they shifted from friends to a couple, and even more so by how easily they fell back into a closeness and mutual understanding thanks to the time they’ve spent as just friends – well, he did have to suffer a period of time where he wasn’t sure whether his feelings would ever have a chance to blossom.

 

It was the simplest sort of a date, really. Short walk, small meal, short shopping spree, all spiced up with a little bit of conversation and comparing of how their first year at university started out. All of this was to be followed with the classic – watching a movie in a cinema – but given how strained their minds were with the traditional sets of smaller tests and exams right before the Christmas period, such simple relaxation seemed to be just what they needed compared to their everyday life and even their slightly less run-off-the-mill meetings. “Dating” was a concept they only barely acknowledged as something they were doing, being the sort of couple who simply did stuff together when time allowed.

 

 

Sitting opposite one another in the café, the relatively fresh couple made of not-so-new former friends exchanged a long glance over the table on which their small meals and drinks were settled.

_\- Well… we’re both bound to have some lessons with professor Adam, so I guess I’ll be getting to know some of your family soon enough, but since I’ve been treating this as something serious from the get-go, I guess it’s time to figure out whether or not we’ll be meeting one another’s families anytime soon…_

_\- As you know, mine’s in Australia. My mother and sister, to be precise._

_\- You don’t talk about your family all that much… And I always just presumed your dad wasn’t exactly a big part of the picture. I wondered if it’s a bad topic or if your mother just got fertilized in vitro with a donor…_

_\- Your grace when moving along such topics is so magnificent to watch, Susan. – Gary responded tongue-in-the-cheek._

_\- It’s… pretty normal these days. Many people don’t want to start families while others are quite eager to do so. Some women would like to birth and raise a child, even by themselves, or with a partner they can’t have children with._

_\- That’s true. In my case… I just never knew my father, and I know his relationship with Mom has turned sour. Maybe it’s because of my our conditions, maybe it’s because of something else that happened. By neither my mom nor my uncle talk about him, on their own or when asked._

_\- I see… sorry to bring it up. I just wanted to learn a little more about you. What is your sister like?_

_\- When I left… she was the tomboyish sort. But the period of time right before I left and my moving here has turned our contacts a little sour, so we were not exactly keeping in touch. I… I’m worried about you meeting her. It could turn out pretty good or pretty bad, honestly._

_\- Well, it’s not like I can’t understand stuff like sibling rivalry or plain old misunderstanding between different-gendered siblings… And even more so I can understand the feeling that someone dear to us has been setting up a life somewhere far away without us in it. There’s a chance your sister feels frustration or may be angry at me because of that… I promise I’ll do my best to be patient with her no matter what her attitude is._

_\- Susan…_

 

The two young lovers stared into one another’s eyes over the table, Gary’s red irises darting left and right to take in the features of his girlfriend’s face. Her expression softened to that visage she wore sometimes amongst friends and with him – calm and kind rather than mature and stoic, he couldn’t tell if Susan’s face was prettier that way… but it was definitely more touching and his heartbeat got quite a bit faster. Deciding not to resist the impulse, he leaned in to press his lips against hers, the light croaking of the table and the audible ding of glasses and dishes tilting into one another from that causing him to snap out of it and break it a little short, in turn leading to her beaming a smile at him up close as he settled back down, trying to make sure his drink wasn’t going to spill.

\- I think during the summer break… well, it’ll be winter in Australia… We should try and visit my house. Maybe earlier, if time permits. Would you be okay going there with me at that time?

_\- Well, my parents should first confirm that you’re fairly serious and trustworthy, and if your accent’s anything to go by I’ll be able to understand Australians…_

_\- I’m cutting your valentine’s day gift budget by 25%._

_\- That’s nooooot faaaiiirrrr!_

The two of them shared a little laugh and finally settled down to finish their meal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not that long after her brother had that particular date with his new girlfriend, Alex’ mind was occupied with something that was more suitable to being given great importance in her brother’s brain.

Education, that is. Although most of the worries relating to that subject were evaporating at that time.

Alex’ secondary education – her high school years – came to a close together with the current academic year in her country of origin. The school campus saw quite a few parents for a change, but primarily it was about students – saying goodbye to others, getting their contact information, or expressing their appreciation towards teachers whose lessons they particularly enjoyed, or just to their homeroom teachers. The rustling of paper in classrooms was for once not caused by exams or school books, but by students quickly finishing up on the final pages of books taken from the library – probably keeping them to this point was against school regulations, Alex thought – and by documents received on this occasion, primarily graduation certificates and such.

High school was an all right period in her life in terms of the school she attended. Most of her friends were from the outside, but teachers were all right, and her classmates rarely got her into as much trouble as in primary education grades – the instances from years ago where she’d get bullied or where she’d have to change schools because of an unexpected erection were not something that’d happen in her high school, and she was grateful for it.

 

Then, again, she didn’t get close enough to most of her classmates to have anything to do in the time she had to wait after the official ceremonies, being asked by her homeroom teacher to stay for a short talk. She doubted she got in any trouble, he likely just wanted to do some preaching. She figured her rapid shifts in grades received during examinations between her high school years were something of a surprise to her teachers, especially when they happened both ways, so it was likely some manner of lame encouragement when it came to pursuing and using her ‘full potential’, which she frankly had no idea how to do, and where to go in order to continue from that point onwards.

 

 

The other students’ talks finally came to an end, with one or two shy voices asking Alex if she’d go part of the way home with them getting a silent answer that the teacher wanted to speak to her after everyone was gone. Shrugging, the slightly closer of her colleagues and classmates decided to leave ahead of her, and finally, it was just her and her teacher.

Mister Jawun-Jones, nicknamed JJ consequently by some students, decidedly had roots in one of the ‘reeducated’ lines of native Australians but evidently also had a relative whose family settled out of an English-speaking country, whether way back in the past or recently, somewhere down his family line not long ago. He was Alex’ homeroom teacher through the second half of high school and appeared to be a level-headed man with a slightly stern but helpful attitude.

That actually made Alex a little worried about what was his reason for asking her to stay behind, but the gentle smile he gave her when she was the last remaining student turned her thoughts to a different direction.

\- Please seat down, Alex. It may take us a while… I made sure to call your mother so she wouldn’t worry, but you don’t have to be nervous. There’s nothing disciplinary about our talk. In fact, since it’s my last day as your teacher, I’ll be speaking in a manner that may feel a little off to you, because it doesn’t really matter anymore. Even if you feel awkward about our talk, you won’t be required to talk to me anymore.

 

Alex obediently sat down, although the fact “JJ” spoke in such a way already made her a little awkward.

_\- What is this about, teacher?_

_\- It would appear to me now, at the end of your highschool period that you’re a bit of a late bloomer type in many ways. I guess with your body suddenly… developing there was no way you wouldn’t notice others, or wouldn’t realize you’re now able to get far more attention to yourself than in the past._

 

[“What the heck’s he talking about? Is this sexual harassment? What kind of teacher starts a conversation by pointing out their student has bigger tits than in the past? Is he one of those old lecher types?”]

Alex’ expression must’ve shifted a bit, because her teacher raised a hand to signal she should let him continue. It was no wonder really that the thought was a bit disconcerting… the only boys she ever got truly long-term serious with were respectively a little younger than her and of the exact same age, down to the day of birth.

_\- With your interest in peers in that manner and acknowledging they might’ve developed interest in you as well, you developed a slightly different style of dressing yourself and decidedly more skill and affinity for using make-up than in the past, so I’m certain you think you’ve managed to cover it up, but… Well, let’s just say teachers are sensitive in that regard, miss Lunarson. The crux of the matter is this – no matter what kind of and how much makeup you put on, it is visible that you’ve taken at least a bit of a beating. A teacher’s first question would be about your parents, but I’m aware what your family is like, and given your change in attitude, social circle, and such, I think my suspicion that it was date violence is well-founded._

 

Alex’ eyes opened wider at that, and she almost gulped audibly. Clearly, the senses of a teacher who took his job seriously were indeed sharp.

_\- I was, I… I mean…_

_\- This isn’t a subject that you’d come up with by yourself if you didn’t now, so I’ll ask straight away. Is this a case of purely physical violence, or did he hurt you otherw…_

_\- No! No, no. I wasn’t…_ _We just had a fight. Over something he decided I was lying about. I hit him back too, and in a way that surely left him with pain and marks of his own. You could say that other than if concept like chivalry was included, he’s not any better off than I am. It’s nothing I… consider worth reporting, I think. It’d be too weird to talk about it and claim it was just his fault._

_\- I have to trust your ability to analyze the circumstances, but… Do analyze them well when coming up with such a decision. Regardless… this is a topic that is mightily difficult for teenagers to talk about with any adult, stranger, teacher, or family, so I won’t press to learn if my suspicions about some of the reasons for your behavior and interactions with others are correct. But I feel like I have to say this. No matter what the past has burdened you with and what sort of pains and failures you’ve had to endure in an attempt to just let the flame of youth burn properly or find a true romantic bond with another, regardless of how you look at those kinds of people, you’re a human being. A precious one and decidedly not a worthless one. Do not settle for something or someone like that, even if it begins almost innocently. This is the last serious preaching I’m going to give you, so please take it to heart._

 

[“… Half a minute ago I thought he was going to molest me, now he’s trying to make sure my self-esteem isn’t what got me into this… He’s really a teacher, that one. He knows way more about me than I ever bothered to learn about him or my classmates.”]

 

_\- I… understand. Thank you. I’ll keep it in mind. I’m trying to find a way to no longer have any reason to go into such relations blindly, so hoping that won’t happen again has a good foundation of realism, too. I can promise you I won’t end the type who’d settle for someone who acts like they hate me simply because I think I’m in love. Like I said… I struck back in this instance. I hope you treat it as something positive rather than negative this time…_

_\- Well, I’m glad you’re okay mentally at least, despite this sort of situation, though I do still have my doubts. Like I said, digging into the subjects of how and why it came to this point would be a long and awkward talk… which we may have anytime if you wish to, I just won’t push for it, especially not now that you have free time. Going into a topic more suitable for a teacher, that is, your grades…_

_\- Whoooaaa, how’s that any less stressful or awkward?_

 

Her now ex-homeroom teacher smiled more giddily at that.

_\- Good one. Especially given that you have nothing to complain about. You’ve struck a certain low in the latter part of eleventh grade and earliest part of the twelfth grade, but you’ve been making a magnificent recovery through the rest of the twelfth grade. Your scores in almost all subjects improved so dramatically you’d definitely have exemplary grades this year if the first couple of ones didn’t lower your averages this year. Good job. I’m sure your teachers are proud and as your homeroom teacher I’m glad you were able to obtain enough focus and willingness to study in a manner that let you catch up with many high-graded students despite the worse period you’ve suffered in the penultimate grade. It takes a lot of work to make such an amazing recovery._

Alex smiled a little bashfully.

 _\- I’m… not used to being praised about academic ability._  – it was true enough. Alex usually hanged close to the average scores of her class, except for her lower scores through the latter half of 11th grade. Things like losing her ‘male’ virginity without it particularly affecting her lifestyle and managing to develop some more positive relationships helped her finally focus enough in school to unveil her true potential, it seemed, now that the greatest point of distraction was gone for almost two years.

_\- Which is part of the reason I’m praising you now. Looking into your records, you were usually pretty close to an ‘average’ student in most subjects, although with more stronger than weaker points. But you’ve caught up even on difficult subjects like sciences and almost excelled in them, so you deserve praise. I also have a good idea about the reason why you may feel underappreciated so far or why your motivation was lacking. Your uncle’s a genius professor and your own twin brother excels in similar subjects, studies abroad, apparently skipped a grade and passed final grade exams in some sort of outstanding manner… Not an easy environment to shine in academically, I presume._

_\- Yes. We’re all very proud of my brother._ – Alex responded, trying to avoid sounding mechanical.

_\- I wasn’t praising your brother. I was praising you._

_\- Uh… Oh._

_\- Your grades obviously show you’ve inherited some of the potential in the topics relating to your uncle’s field, but you have to remember that you’re a person and not some sort of artificially made tool produced from what seems to be a good matrix. You’re entitled to your own interests, and your grades also suggest your talents may lay in areas that are only somewhat related to what we teach our students in school. Nobody can force you to go in your uncle’s or siblings’ footsteps, nor can anyone tell you how far you should stray off of their road, Alex. You’re quite smart. You’ve proven yourself capable of hard work. You can succeed at what you want to do, and you should never allow the achievements or lack thereof of anyone in your family to drag you down in any way. Like I said, it appears you just needed a little bit more time to mature than some, and as a result, you have everything to look forward to from now on. Did you pay some thought about what you’d like to do next?_

_\- I… did, but couldn’t really come up with anything that would make me feel particularly strong about it… I’m worried I’ll take too long of a time to decide, too…_

_-Well, you shouldn’t worry too much and go for what feels right. Your grades are overall good, once again. I’m sure you’d be able to do well at a college or a university, so you should definitely consider pursuing some manner of higher education one way or another._

_\- Does it really seem… I’m good enough?_

_\- Certainly. There are students who pushed themselves further or just appear to be more academically gifted, but the combination of what you have definitely made you no slouch. I can’t stress that hard enough. I don’t mean to push you either… I just want what all teachers want. For my pupil to realize they *do* have wings, metaphorically of course, and for them to spread them and catch a wind they want to drift on._

_\- Metaphorically, of course._

_\- Yes. Yes indeed. Feel free to talk to me or other teachers about your options at further education. If you feel like you need some time to decide, make sure to not get your brain too lazy in the meantime, even if you go into recruitment half a year or a year from now rather than at the soonest opportunity available at the start of next year. It’s an important choice… one many feel like we rush our youths to take. But it’s also a choice that can, to a point, be withdrawn from, allowing for a different path to be taken. Think the way you’d think and of a way that’d leave you happy. Don’t be too careless, but don’t get too careful, either._

_\- Mister Jones?_

_\- Yes?_

_\- Thank you. For talking about all of this. I’m surprised I didn’t notice how good you were at being a teacher earlier, but you’re definitely a better teacher than I am a student._

_\- Only time will tell… but thank you for the compliment, nevertheless._

_\- I don’t want to go into my situation too much, but, from my point of view… it’s a well-earned one._

 

 

 

 

 

Sometime after the New Year, in Canada…

 

Being alone, together, like this, it didn’t feel at all unnatural to be developing this kind of excitement. This sort of anxiousness. And because of whom he was with, thoughts about the person who forcibly tried to create these sorts of situations and cause this kind of arousal didn’t cross his mind. His only worries arose for entirely different reasons, for now, at least.

_\- Are you sure about this, Susan?_

_\- What are you getting all bashful for? There’ll be no surprise visits, phonecalls, no supervision nor interruption…_

_\- No, I meant… I meant if you were sure that you are ready._

_\- You’re really kind and considerate… you have to be a little mindful of that. I mean, I’m certainly not complaining, but sometimes that’ll be seen as inactivity, lack of passion or even as something unmanly… Well, hopefully, it won’t come to that since we’ll stick together._

 

Susan seemed to go just a tad bashful herself, running her hand through her hair, then rubbing her neck.

_\- I’ve… known you for a while now, Gary. I trusted you ever since before we became a couple, I just… didn’t want to make it seem like we were going too quickly. But I have been meaning to do this since the start. I mean… we were already good friends before we started dating. We’re close. There really isn’t much left to do in order to cement our relationship as lovers rather than just friends. And now, yes, I think we’ve waited enough._

_\- It’s… not like I’m going to complain about it. I love you, Susan. I did for quite a while…_

_\- Could’ve confessed it a little sooner, but I guess things worked out in the end._

 

It didn’t take long for them to settle in Susan’s bedroom, Gary’s pale fingertips slowly pushing at, then pulling apart the thick layers of warm clothing that covered his girlfriend’s body. Black-haired, blue-eyed, and fair-skinned, she served as a small reminder that his own complexion was nevertheless appearing unnatural, somewhat bright even in comparison to Susan’s soft and smooth skin.

She didn’t remain entirely passive, either. Gary felt his jeans being unzipped with the top button over the zipper already popped open, and Susan tried to sneak her fingertips inbetween his pants and underwear to try and get him to have a full erection without making the space inside completely cramped.  For the occasion, she wore pants instead of a long skirt herself, given the chilly weather outside.

The two of them watched each other’s expression for a moment before leaning in, smooth lips exchanging a bit of saliva virtually on reflex, moistening both of their mouths beyond the norm as Susan’s tongue snuck out to lick and lap at Gary’s own semi-opened mouth and lips. She playfully patted his own timid tongue twice with her moist muscle before drawing her tongue back inside her mouth, eyes opening a little wider at the sensation coming from under her fingertips, drawing her face back with a gasp.

_\- You’re… rather gifted when it comes to size, aren’t you…_

_\- I know the length is already above average, but other than that, I’m not sure._

_\- Well, is it true about boys? That they measure it and whatnot?_

_\- Haven’t done that in years… it’s grown since._

_\- I see. Let’s get rid of a little more clothing. I… I, uh, didn’t mean to hurt you by getting you stiff in that, but it’s getting more difficult to pull off. I’ll need to take my hand out of there to remove my blouse, anyway._

 

Slowly, Susan pulled her fingertips out of her boyfriend’s jeans and put both of her hands up. Gary’s own fingers reached to pull up the blouse that protected her from the cold, revealing a cuter T-shirt underneath with some visible texture of a bra covering Susan’s breasts.

They were plenty for him, although she was hardly big. He didn’t have much to compare them with, but they looked a little bit larger than Alex’ were almost two years back when he left his house.

It didn’t matter. They were attached to the girl he loved, and he knew he was going to love her truly and honestly for at least a very long while, if not forever. To him, the entirety of Susan was beautiful, and seeing her reach underneath her shirt to unclasp her bra and pull it out had him pulling his own pants down as quickly as possible to avoid trapping his member in far too confined a space.

 

Shuddering, Gary felt his underwear fill out with his increasingly stiff member, rapidly hardening from seeing Susan’s stiff nipples underneath her shirt and her own gaze looking him up and down. Slowly, she hooked her fingers into her own pants and started to pull them down, with her partner soon remaining in nothing but a shirt of his own. Her features flushed once she saw his member in its entirety.

_\- It’s way above average now… Not that I’ve seen that many in person to compare, but… I’m worried that’ll hurt if it’ll go inside me. Did you have any problems with it in th…_

_\- It’ll be my first time._

_\- Oh. Right. Girls are silly, putting so much focus on appearances like that… One way or another, let’s enjoy our first time together as much as we can, okay?_

 

Gary wasn’t sure if he should be asking Susan if she had any prior experience, but deemed it unnecessary and rude to do so. Instead, he slowly tilted his body against hers, wrapping his arms around her in a hug before directing his lips towards hers. This time, he was less bashful, his own tongue inviting hers for a moment of play. It was clear they were both not very experienced with deeper kisses, particularly with using one’s tongue, but the way they seemed reluctant to pull apart, the natural and stubborn attempts at finding a matching rhythm and not getting in one another’s way while trying to gain more experience in such matters conveyed enough passion for Gary to hope that eventually they would gain plenty of experience with all sorts of kissing.

Slowly, she pulled at his arms and invited them underneath her shirt. It was cold, so the last articles of clothing they wore – said shirts, shorts, and panties and stockings, in her case – would likely remain  on their bodies for at least as long as it took for them to warm up after being outside. Gary’s fingertips brushed experimentally on her areola and nipples, feeling them stiffen even more – arousal added to the results gained by chilliness alone – and then he softly, gently, sunk his fingers into her flesh, kneading, a little greedily, but with a tenderness that likely couldn’t be replicated by anyone other than actual lovers.

With this, Susan slowly sat down on the bed, her fingers removing her underwear slowly, brushing against Gary’s erection along the way. The albino’s member twitched at the contact, excitement evident from how stiff it was, with a small bead of fluid appearing at the end.

_\- I think it’s better if I at least try to prepare you a bit before we put it in._

_\- Y…yeah. Sorry._

_\- Don’t be silly. I’ll be happy if it makes you feel good. I’ll just pull my condom out and…_

_\- N-no. It’s our first time together, so… I got a set of morning after pills. They’ll probably make me sick, but I want it to be special for both of us._

_\- I’m fine wearing one, you know._

_\- And I’d likely talk to you about it now if I didn’t just learn it’ll be your first time ever. You’re supposed to be able to enjoy it, you know, and I’m already making it a bit difficult, so… let’s do it raw and natural._

 

With this, Susan was sitting at the end of the bed, and Gary slowly sunk down to his knees beside it, tenderly placing his hands on her thighs and spreading them. She was already a little bit moist and her netherlips seemed to spread slightly under his gaze, the color of her insides and the region in general a little darker and more vivid compared to her fair skin tone.

Gary didn’t really have any experience performing oral sex, and only knew the basics from his period of interest in sex overall as well as attempts to brush up on his knowledge after they started dating. He knew how to find an average clitoris by following the labia minora and he knew not to put touch on it immediately nor overfocus on it in *most* instances – women apparently differed in that regard, but it doing too much too soon might’ve lead to ticklishness and irritation rather than pleasure.

With this in mind, Gary’s initial motions were soft and almost tentative or teasing, fingertips running over Susan’s netherlips to grow accustomed to the texture of her pussy and to measure how moist she was already. She took a breath in sharply, finally her turn to have her body shudder a bit the Gary extended his tongue to try and trace the outside of her lips with it. Anticipation evident in her voice when she felt a tender suction being applied to most of the outside of her womanhood, dragging out a little bit of moisture more than already present only for most of it to dissipate in Gary’s mouth, swallowed with his saliva. It didn’t take long for him to run his fingers over her pussy again, breathing out softly but purposefully against her exposed womanhood, the air alone making her feel how her sensitivity was slowly building up from the caresses. His tongue was probing her soon enough, dragging with it plenty of saliva to make up for the small amount of natural lubrication he already swallowed, and she let out another little moan of pleasure when the tip of his tongue actually snuck inside of her.

 

 _\- Y-you’re doing fine… You’ll be really good at this in the future, I feel… -_ she praised him slightly

while placing a hand at the back of his head, somewhat comfortingly, but also with a tender pull that was met with the push of her own hips.

Gary recognized it as the signal to push a little more of his tongue inside before dragging it in a long lick across her womanhood, all the way up to the ‘hood’ and glans of her clit, finally touching the latter. She felt like he waited just the right amount of time with it, biting her lower lip to stop herself from another moan when she felt trickles of his saliva running all over her sensitive regions and then being rubbed into her crotch with his tongue and lips, an audible slurping noise heard as he – in her mind, somewhat adorably – actually kissed her netherlips with his own.

 

Susan kept rocking her hips lightly in response to the caresses of his lips and tongue, getting herself increasingly more excited and prepared for the proper act. When his tongue was inside, she gently tried angling his head back and up a little, looking down at his face and instructing him.

_\- I-if it’s on the inside, you can try searching for a couple good spots here… inside and upwards… but I’m not sure you’ll be able to reach it with your tongue, though. Try to give that bean above a little suckle and then move your tongue over it in a swirling mo… oh… Yes._

Following her instructions, Gary’s tongue first tried finding the mentioned area inside of her, having some trouble but realizing his tongue could almost feel that the texture of her inner walls seemed to be, or slowly become, a little different where she mentioned. Dragging his tongue out of her again, Gary placed his lips, as tenderly as he could, on the upper side of her labia lips and sucked at them together with her clit, before starting to spiral with his tongue zeroing on her special spot.

With another shudder, Susan seemed to release another trickle of lubricant, and bit her lower lip. It was tempting to try and push herself over the edge already, but she wanted to give him confidence, and she had little doubt that she was as ready for his member as she could be.

_\- That’s enough, honey. L… hah, it’s so warm and wet down there… let’s try doing it for real now._

Gary slowly stood up, but before they settled on the position, Susan leaned in and opened her mouth. His shaft already had some precum at the tip, which she promptly tried licking away. It was a bit salty, but tasted a little more pleasantly than she thought. Wasting no time, she tried fitting as much of the member as she could inside of her mouth – struggling as she were with putting anything more than the tip in, with the limited amount of time she had. Releasing a lot of saliva at once, she rubbed it into his member while at the same time gently sucking at the tip to give him some pleasure and remove some of the precum. After a moment, she withdrew to get a good breath.

_\- That… surprised me. I didn’t expect you’d put it anywhere near your mouth on our first time… - Gary said, almost absent-mindedly focusing on the sensation of Susan’s dainty fingertips rubbing her saliva over his shaft._

_\- It was only fair, you know. And it’s be pointless for me to be moist if you started off bone dry, too. Uhhh, let’s settle on the bed for now. I want to do it with both of us sitting and being able to control some of the movements, if that’s okay._

_\- Sure._

 

Sitting down on her bed, Susan slowly inched her body towards Gary’s, placing her thighs over his and allowing his member to drop down and meet her body, rubbing over her pubic bone. She appeared to be trimming her pubic hair to manageable states, the little patch of black tickling the sensitive tip of his member, the throbbing against her upper netherlips and clitoral hood rubbing on his underside causing them both to shiver. Deciding that was enough in terms of ceremony, Susan tilted her hips back, lifted them, and moved them forwards once more, with Gary’s hands wrapping her body and also gently pulling her against himself. She froze and groaned for a moment when she felt his tip attempt to push inside of her, then started taking deep breaths as it was clear they’d struggle with putting the tip in. Nevertheless, Susan pressed forwards stubbornly, determined to be connected at last. Another groan, from both of them this time, signalized that them managed to push the crown of his member past her opening and slowly the length of his shaft was pushed inside, before a sudden ‘ouch’ told them they were going in too deep, clamping of Susan’s womanhood over his length causing Gary to hiss in return and try to stop himself from having an ‘accident’. The young man’s length never felt anything quite like this, but what he focused on primarily was the warmth, physical and emotional, from the realization that, slowly but surely, their bodies intertwined and connected.

Hyps gyrating, Susan managed to slide a bit more of his length inside, her vaginal walls relaxing, then flexing around the invading tip, struggling to accept more as she felt one of his hands lower and gently squeeze one of her buttocks. With a sigh and then a little whimper, Susan started to push her hips forwards insistently until her womanhood seemed to clamp down again, forcefully shoving the twitching length of her lover’s cock through her excessively tight and inexperienced pussy.

_\- D-don’t force yourself, Susan! It’s… too tight…_

_\- A-at least there’s no bleeding… It only hurts a bit, unless I really try to push it in too deeply. Urgh… I thought this much would be enough to enjoy my first time…_

 

 

Gary sighed with the realization that Susan was also a virgin, although he certainly wasn’t the type to pay that much attention to such things on an emotional level, other than care for his parent. Leaning in, he placed his lips against hers in a deep and passionate kiss, and finally, both of them started to move. Shallow gyrations and thrusts were helping Susan’s pussy adjust, and before long the two of them were actually quite aware that more and more of his member disappeared inside. She could also feel how tightly her vagina clamped on him, a mix of greediness with a bit of pain and anxiety slowly milking his precum into her passage and adding to the already decent amount of wetness inside and out of her pussy.

 

With her wet, tight, and excessively warm walls gripping at him and rolling their muscles against the most sensitive parts of his length, Gary was fighting a battle against a fresh and new stimulus that was threatening to push him over the edge of an orgasm rather quickly. They parted their lips to release further gasps of exasperation and pain mixing with pleasure. Susan was starting to finally experience the latter as it appeared she was getting used to the invasion, although her muscles seemed overstrained and her entire body felt like it was fighting rather than making love. Still, the sensation of Gary’s large shaft pumping deeper and deeper inside of her brought back the perspective of an orgasm as she was learning to enjoy the way his thickness seemed to rub all over inside of her, trying to angle herself in search of the most sensitive spots. Seeking each other’s touch, they kissed again with palms roaming over the other’s body, the pale skin on both Gary’s and Susan’s flesh reddening a bit from the little fondles and eager kneading of the other. There was at least half of Gary’s length already buried inside of her and regularly he was getting more and more in, bit by bit, when a particular sway of her hips caused his girth to plunge itself in a little deeper, dragging across her inner wall on the way in and out in an almost torturous manner. Almost screaming, Susan’s hips pushed forwards even more, inadvertedly enveloping more of Gary’s member in her moist womanhood which then proceeded to almost coil around his length and squeeze him tight.

 

With the unexpected sensation, he wasn’t able to hold back, releasing his own groan and starting to orgasm, thick ropes of seed quickly lubricating her passage and allowing her to withstand the sudden additional pain from having more of his length in. The powerful pulses and first, pressured and somewhat larger ropes of seed shooting out inside of her made her realize what was going on.

_\- H…hah, al… Oh… Shit, shit…_

The sensation was frankly too tantalizing for her to not enjoy, and she quickly placed her hand over her clitoris, rubbing at it furiously with her fingers throughout Gary’s orgasm, feeling it slow down to a trickle and a pulsing, aching dribble with the slowly softening member still wrapped up in her folds.

_\- Just a moment! I know it’s sensitive but bear with it for j…_

Leaning into her again, Gary shut them both up by pushing his tongue into her mouth and kissing her deeply. The emotional charge was enough for her defenses to just collapse, and the combined stimulation of his flagging orgasm filling her up quite a bit and her hand furiously rubbing her clitoris finally triggering her own climax, the twitching of her womanhood causing Gary to groan into the kiss as it seemed she was almost milking him with the squeezing, clamping motions. His seed seemed to be almost dragged around with the muscular contractions only to leak out with a trickle of what seemed to be more intensely produced love juices, and they both realized they managed to orgasm during their first attempt at lovemaking, although a simultaneous one seemed impossible for now.

Susan was drained. Gary was more tired mentally from holding back and trying to match her rhythm than he was from his actual climax, but they fell on the bed nevertheless, hugging one another closely and placing several kisses on one another’s features before Susan giggled.

_\- Sorry for not showing or telling you directly it was my first time… It’s probably difficult to tell if I’m not bleeding, but it doesn’t always happen, and I did try some masturbation down there at least, so it’s not an entirely ‘fresh’ flower down there…_

Sighing tiredly, Gary hugged her close with one hand as he tried to grab the bed’s cover and pull it over themselves with the other.

_\- I… it’s fine. I wouldn’t mind it anyway, but I’m glad we were able to share our first time. D…did I do all right?_

_\- I orgasmed on my first try, so minor inconveniences and accidents notwithstanding, I’d say you’ve done marvelously. Thanks for being patient, and sorry for messing up at the end…_

_\- It’s… all cool. Thank you, Susan. For… letting me try. And being here._

_\- Awhh. Wets pwocwaim our wuuub, Gary-poo!_

_\- I’m tempted to try spanking now._

_\- Nooooooo! It hurts as fuck as is!_

_\- I love you, Susan._

_\- Yeah. I know. I hope it’s roughly as much as I love you, honey. I’ll… never forget this. We might’ve hurried it up a bit too much, but… It was a good first time. Thank you._

 

With this, they covered themselves and snuggled into each other’s warmth, Susan sneaking in another kiss. Their love affirmed with their actions, all that remained to do was spend the night together, with Gary’s softening member finally slipping out of her as they shifted, embracing the other and squeezing what seemed to be the love of one’s life close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a lot of trouble, including health trouble, so technically most of my stories will not see a lot of updating. Another chapter of Freak Love will get updated today or tomorrow depending on how quickly I will do the check-up and formatting, but afterwards it may take me a while. I'll need to check up whether the health issues are anything serious.


	16. Act 3 : Siblings' Conquests - One's rebound is another's chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time passed after Alex' graduation, but it appears she's finally close to a breaking point when it comes to certain desires and hopes she has for her love and sex life. And she's not the only one. What if two people really close to one another feel the same? What's the full history of what's been happening when Alex attempted to get close to others?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stories are primarily written for one of two purposes, I believe.  
> To provide entertainment, often for some sort of monetary gain on the part of the writer, they focus on things they believe would have an impact purely in terms of making it fun to read and imagine with a chosen demographic.
> 
> The second purpose for one's stories, and reason for writing them, is to convey certain messages. Some authors can, through experience or skill, leave them subtle, others explain them through thoughts, words, and actions of characters analyzing the situation that carried the message, and others make note of what they attempted to convey in afterword or, if an author's known enough, interviews.
> 
>  
> 
> Freak Love also conveys certain messages, and with the sort of skill, time, and waxing and waning interests and focus on writing it, I occasionally turn to convey it in a rather straightforward and brutal manner, especially if it's not meant to be a 'kind' message, but rather a viewpoint that could be, in a way, perceived as a lesson.
> 
> Which is why occasionally characters are portrayed as if they were somewhat on the worse side of modern humanity even if they have traits that are often basis for stories treating them sympathetically.  
> This chapter has one such instance that may not sit well with everyone.
> 
> Before you condemn it, or me, for putting things in this manner I hope the words of the characters and the situation itself provide you with enough insight as to what is one of the chief 'messages' I wanted to convey when writing a story like this, and putting so much 'plot' next to the kinks and sexual tantalization.  
> Just think about it calmly, because I sure as hell never intended to put anyone particularly down, regardless of their physical traits or personal beliefs.
> 
> This may be the last chapter I upload in a while, so I hope you can enjoy it on some level, or find something soothing or a level of understanding within it despite how grim it seems at the first glance. Feel free to comment in the meantime; it'll be highly encouraging to come back and see if you're enjoying this, or if you managed to guess the kinds of messages I am trying to convey.
> 
> Ps. Alcohol consumption is, to the best of my knowledge, allowed from ages 18 up in Australia without parental supervision, in case any people from countries with a higher drinking age are surprised.

**One’s rebound is another’s chance**

At the end of twelfth grade and their last year of high school, things were going pretty bad for Lachlan and his girlfriend.

Alex knew as much. She was well aware said girlfriend wasn’t really the person Lachlan originally hoped she was when he went into a relationship after breaking the last one, on said new girlfriend’s insistence. Apparently the young woman in question was sexually reserved, but not to the point of not letting *him* pleasure *her*, which, as he once far too bluntly put it, gave them a give-receive orgasm ratio of roughly five to one. To make things worse, the start of academic year for post-highschool graduates was approaching, and quickly.

Alex was fairly familiar with the concept of a girl being greedy, but she could only imagine the level of self-depreciation Lachlan would feel after being so patient in a relationship only to see it broken before the next five-to-one round managed to get to that magical ‘one’ point.

Actually, what was more important was the fact yet another of his relationships ended fairly quickly. So, essentially, he still had to make a single one of his serious dating efforts last a full year.

 

Not that she had any grounds to compete with him on.  Her longest and most serious relationship only lasted a single season.

 

Said lackluster in her own ‘serious’ relationships, combined with her recent dating efforts being a tremendous – and anyone would agree calling them tremendous wouldn’t be out of line – downgrade compared to that Australian autumn back when she was just starting to approach her eighteenth birthday, spent at the side of a boy who was her junior and training her ability to get men off without having sex with them – but at least receiving seriously sweet affection in return.

 

Lachlan’s girlfriend was apparently barely half a class above Oscar that when it came to giving her partner sexual release – for far less serious reasons, in Alex’ eyes, especially since for quite a while she was the one avoiding showing Oscar her genitals - and two classes below Alex’ ex-boyfriend when it came to the affection part.

 

So what was the duet of old friends to do, other than meet at a bar and decide to get themselves at least tipsy, if not entirely wasted.

Walking into the bar with a relatively manly guy like Lachlan introduced Alex to the sweet feeling she never could’ve produced in the past until the very end of her relationship with Oscar – the feeling of provoking jealousy in people who looked at her and the man at her side. Of course, many people quickly recognized that these two were here commonly and always as friends, but not *all* did, and not all of those who realized the truth did so quickly. The strawberry blonde found this feeling – awareness of making others impressed or jealous – was the sole reward for butchering what would be considered her bra budget. It combined with the realization that, visually at least, her body type was enough to attract stares, even if many men wouldn’t admit to finding her attractive. She received another custom bra as a birthday present from her mom, and evidenced by how tight it felt now,  four months and change later, her chest was still growing. She was eventually going to jump out of the single-letter D area as the difference in centimeters between her underbust and breast circumference seemed set to eventually leave her ‘age’ number quite far behind, but so far stayed just underneath that magic 20 centimeters that were generally required for her to proudly proclaim herself a double D in British measurements. At least it was the case last time she checked.

Not that it would’ve mattered much longer. Between the last dregs of her ‘boy side’ making her chest – the actual chest, without breast considered - too wide for Australian measuring  system to cope with easily, more and more of her bras would have to be either custom or very, very elastic. And no woman wants to test just how elastic her bra is in practice.

 

Alex and Lachlan settled down, both with loud sighs, finally enjoying the full benefit of being able to drink anything and everything even without parental supervision. In Alex’ case, this benefit was only as old as the bra she was wearing, and only a little bit longer than her record in prolonged dating.

 _\- Let’s… try not to get wasted, actually. Let’s complain about how shitty our generation is and how bad it is to date them._ – Lachlan started the talk.

_\- I’d watch out if I were you. People are going to think you’re trying to make yourself cougar bait._

_\- I never understood why it’s more socially acceptable for a younger girl to date an older guy than for an older woman to choose a younger man._

 Alex smiled a bit, if without any joy in the expression. [“That sounds like something certain people in my family would argue…”]

 _\- That applies to serious dating. Consider casual sex at the verge of ages of consent and it suddenly becomes the reverse._ – was Alex’ response.

_\- So, the world’s fucked up?_

_\- And majorly. But, hey, if it cheers you up, I’ve known that for a while. Plus, your long term relationships actually work out way longer than mine, and believe it or not, landed you more orgasms. And remember I have higher capacity to get them in that regard._

_\- Pssssh, talking about such filthy things after just one sip. Who’s the one making themselves bait?_

_\- Do you need to be escorted back into the friendzone?_

_\- Please, every man my age knows his way there._

 

They took a deeper gulp of their respective drinks, with Lachlan looking sideways a little worriedly.

_\- But that does actually worry me, you know? Last thing I know is that failed attempt at relationship upgrade you tried with Ayla… around your birthday, I think?_

_\- Actually it was hers. Precisely four weeks before mine._

_\- Don’t tell me you went without getting *any* for … fuck, five months? That’s twice as long as me!_

_\- You make it sound like getting any more often is supposed to be normal if you actively pursue it. Yuuuup. I’m mentally supporting my brother at the fuck-far-off university by having no sex since roughly the start of his school year, and remain non-shagged in the biblical sense in any shape or form through my nineteenth year of life so far .Well… there was that part where I was doing the shagging, but you don’t want to hear about that._

_\- Fuck, now you’re making me feel even *worse* about complaining._

_\- Complain away. For all I know, the ‘happy hour’ you got near Christmas was two rounds of being a cunning linguist for no pay._

_\- That’s a little later… on… uhhh…_

_\- Oh dear fuckin… ain’t that just precious, your New Year’s kiss was Australian!_

Both of them made nasty-sounding mock cackles to that little joke, Alex’ lasting far longer than Lachlan’s.

_\- Aren’t you a bit too sober to be making that sort of metaphor?_

_\- I am. Indeed, I am._

_\- Well… it’s actually your turn to complain. At least I’ve had something ‘biblical’ after graduation… Which might’ve been the reason she started being such a bitch actually. What about… you? I mean… You sometimes mention that rather than getting another girl, you’d like a guy to manage getting to that last base. Any luck in that?_

_\- I’m getting the whitest gown on my wedding day at this pace. To be frank, I’m starting to lose hope I’ll get there before some people my age start getting diplomas._

_\- Are you for real? Is everyone really that much stuck up over it? Or are you just trying for the wrong type?_

 

Alex gave a heavy sight before downing her drink and ordering another one.

 _\- Well, you see, no matter what I try, guys… guys tend to just be total and ridiculous assholes about it. Even when I’m upfront, because they seem so nice, it’s either “ewwwww” or it’s somehow… gosh, somehow doomed to fail._ – Alex said to him, not yet tipsy enough to justify this manner of speech, but plenty nervous. – _This guy recently? I thought he’d know enough about discrimination, even if it’s not as bad as in America out here, but naaaaaah._

Lachlan, as usual, seemed greatly concerned.

_\- What was he like? And what’d he do?_

 

Alex continued to get little sips of her drink. It had a very small kick to it, but she was just drinking for the taste, and for things to spill off her tongue more easily. She was still plenty sober, and she noticed Lachlan was stopping with his own beer on her account. It was sweet of him, really.

_\- Well, you see. I don’t think I have a… type, specifically? Maybe a little bit. I do like them not too tan, lean rather than plump or muscular, and I like guys who are similar in height and age to me. I think that’s the closest I have to a ‘type’. Well, this guy was an experiment of sorts, you see, someone I hoped to date through the Christmas, maybe give a new year’s kiss to. I tried a guy of mixed descent where both would be a racial minority, because that’d be a first for me and because I believed he’d probably know enough about discrimination to not be fucking cruel. To not rub my… shortcomings or inappropriate additions in my face. Half-native here, half asian, he seemed. Aborigine-asian, putting it brutally, unless there was some African or Afro-American mixed in. So… dark skin, just a tad taller than my 175 centimeters at the time, and no matter how badly racist you insist on being when it comes to down-there sizes, the guess would be his should even out somehow, right? Sooo, we’re trying to date. He’s cool and all, not bad with manners, but open, not a huge white knight or crazy on chivalry, but seems like the type you’d like to at least be friends with. He’s complimenting my figure, which is fuuuucking great after everything that was going on with it until way into mid-late school grades, even if it seems redundant now other than telling me I’m “not fat”. And then he pulls out the ‘let’s try something new’ card, tells me he’d like to move past light fondling and making out, but doesn’t wanna push me. My first guess was that he actually believed when I told him I was a virgin, or was acting like he did. I’m not sure anymore. He kind of smirked when I told him that, you know? Like, big breasts automatically mean I got to screw with someone for real. I didn’t even have those a year ago! Fuck!_

_\- I presume he wanted something specific, like… a handjob, or doing more stuff naked?_

 

Alex smiled at Lachlan, although with a hint of annoyance or maybe resignation mixing with irritation in her expression. He noticed the second drink was now gone as well.

 _\- Yuuup. Heavy petting it was. Told him it may be a bad idea, and said he should probably know a secret about me, so this smug fucker tells me “It’s okay, I can kinda guess it already”. Woooowww, big shock. It’s like suddenly I’m dating this super open and pro-free love rare exotic-ethnicity guy. I’m… a little bit on the emotional side when it comes to being sexually attracted to people, I guess. So the thought of him being like that really turns me on. I straddle his goddamn waist like there’s no tomorrow and let him grind himself on whatever the heck he wants. I can feel him getting excited, and I have nooo complains. You know, it’s not like I’m freaking numb or frigid down there. It’s not like I’m picky about the size, either. Frankly I think everything between twelve and twenty four centimeters would work okay on me. It’s nice to feel him get hard for once. I’m super happy. Too happy._ – she leaned in to whisper to make sure nobody but the conversation partner gets it. - _Boner happy._

 

She studied his expression for a moment, to make sure she wasn’t being too crass or disgusting him, but it seemed all right. After she set her glass down, Lachlan seemed to realize what happened in her story next. Her ‘boyfriend’ candidate probably thought her secret was something along the lines of “I’m not really a virgin” or “I think I may end up being a freak in bed”, rather than “I’m a hermaphrodite. And I mean the proper technical meaning of the term.” Really, he knew his words would probably be both way too obvious and an understatement.

_\- And things went downhill from there._

 

A nod from Alex confirmed it.

_\- Well, at first, it seemed like he suddenly decided to take the lead when he tossed me to the side of the sofa and stared down at me. I felt like an amateur wrestler about to get owned by some hottie. Because, you know, wrestling’s fake and all that. Not super-real fucking bone-breaking violence. But this guy ain’t no wrestler, he’s honest-to-god MMA, it seems._

 

Alex took Lachlan a little deeper into the bar, away from everyone, and settled back down at the new table… then closed her eyes and relived this story once more. She continued to describe, as best as she could, what transpired on that day.

 

 

 

\-----

Alex’ memories of her date…

Alex still remembered her two most vivid memories, the primary “shock moments” when it came to revealing what was in her pants to men, as far as her experiences before that day were concerned. When Matthew touched her down there for the first time, soon after her seventeenth birthday, he almost came off as an asshole in more ways than one, but he was *gallant* about the issue. The second guy who made a serious impact didn’t really mistreat her verbally, like many of those whom she tried being more upfront with, but he did push her away and leave without a further word.

The person she was dealing with in the ‘present’, however,  seemed like she somehow betrayed his trust and befouled the memory of his ancestors. It was the first time a guy who touched her breasts punched her on the same date. It might’ve been the first time someone who touched her breasts – particularly well-developed as they were now -  punched her at all. And yet, somehow, his words coming with the hits were filling her with about as much, if not more, pain as his strikes did.

_\- Liar. Bitch. Trap._

 

Every one of those three words, more spat out with venom and quiet resentment than spoken, was accentuated with a punch. One to her face, one to her shoulder – this one was damn strong, like he meant for it to damage something, and the final one to her abdomen. He then tossed her off the couch and to the ground, only to kick her back onto her side as she tried to stand up, a breathless sob and a whimper the only sounds escaping her lips.

_\- Bitches like you should stick to your filthy clubs and gay parties and hang out there, not mix around with normal people. Fucking freak._

 

 

Alex felt him stomp at her rump as she tried to get up once more, pushing her across the floor, towards the door, making her realize he likely wasn’t going to stop with the abuse at just letting her know she disgusted him. She was also dimly aware that he was actually committing what was more or less a hate crime, but the emotions welling up inside of her were just too strong for her to ponder that.

_\- Filthy manmade bodies, the whole lot of you fakes. Do you honestly think that if you stuff your bra enough or get enough silicone or fucking injections it makes you a honest to god woman? You think that if a guy ain’t that popular, but  he’s within the strike zone for a freak like you, that means he’s in ‘your league’, do you, huh? You must know you’re a fucking lowlife, otherwise you’d have the decency to say it what kinda freak you are right fucking away!_

 

 

She coughed and sobbed. It felt like blood might’ve been coming up to her mouth, and that would be bad.

[“ ’Freak. Lowlife. No decency.’ Considering bullshit like… ‘leagues’ or ‘strike zones’. What the fuck is a strike zone? Why am I not in anybody’s goddamn strike zone?”]

She took a deep breath in. Another kick was incoming, another blow to her body and dignity at once. Alex wasn’t like that. She wasn’t weak. She kept forcing herself to pull through, telling herself that she wasn’t a flower, she wasn’t an excuse for a girl in distress that’d let him do whatever just because she was so desperate to try it with a man at least once.

Certainly, the young woman was not a tomboy anymore and nowhere near as physically fit as in the past, but her body didn’t forget everything it’s been through.

The strawberry blonde grabbed his leg, and sharply, forcefully yanked him. She could tell the sudden action caused her bra to snap. She was wearing one she just barely outgrew to save up on money and to have her already abundant breasts spill out a bit more while not bouncing *that* much. Suffering back-pain and chest-pain from both the size and the treatment of her breasts so this guy or another could have eyecandy. Like she was giving him some sort of service.

[-I FUCKING TRIED TO TELL YOU THIS ‘SECRET’ FROM THE START.-]

He wasn’t huge in terms of overall physical size, but he probably didn’t expect a girl to send him on the floor, then whack him right in the solar plexus with both arms, immediately making him the one who had trouble staying on the offense and moving. She straddled him, with far less pleasant a gaze and attitude than before, and started laying down punches on him in turn. Each one seemingly stronger than someone of her build should be able to pull, and each delivered with the vicious, boiling anger and resentment at being not only rejected, but punched and kicked around by someone she hoped would have at least the barest amount of understanding before he shut the door on her. Before he shut her out,

 _\- Do you think I fucking enjoy this? Do you think I’m fucking trying to trick somebody? That I don’t *know* doing it with me would be fucking!_ – A punch. And then another at every word. - _Confusing… you! Fucking! Jackass!?_

 

A  good ‘finishing’ punch to his jaw had him stopping his recuperation, his attempt to counterattack. Alex wished she kept up with physical activity, but for now mass, muscle memory, and shock would have to do.

_\- I don’t know what the hell I should do! I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing! But I can’t just say  everything to everybody! Nobody understands, everyone’s just pushing me away! I can’t have friends without them staring at my goddamn body like it’s a piece of meat and… and then… when they think they don’t waaant to be just fucking friends anymore, suddenly I am not good enough for being friends. I’m not good enough to be a good piece of ‘meat’ either once they find out! Fuck!_

 

 

He tried to strengthen up and grab her hands, so Alex simply headbutted him, stood up, and raised a leg for her own kick.

_\- Thin! Tall! Tomboy! Ugly! Then… Cow! Fat! Good-for-nothing! Tits for brains! Boobzilla! Ogress! Chunky bimbo! Do you fucking know what it’s like to have everything about your body change this many times? Do you know… what it’s fucking like… To be unable to find anyone completely fine with you? NO ONE AT ALL!?_

 

 

 

The kick laid down, Alex simply grabbed her things and went for the door, careful to not get caught up in the man’s own revenge. He locked the door, so she had to spend some time unlocking them.

 _\- Strike zones, damn it. I wish I was in anybody’s strike zone. Someone being in my ‘league’ or my ‘strike zone’? I just fucking hoped you’d turn out to be all right. I just fucking hoped someone who might’ve gotten trouble simply because of who their parents were, or how they’d look like… or some fucking stereotype would at least let me… Fucking…_ \- several louder breaths came out from Alex’s chest as she finally managed to unlock and open the door - _… Explain._

She got out and slammed said doors behind her. The guy was barely managing to get up before she opened them up again and growled at him.

_\- And my tits are fucking real!_

Another loud slam of the door ended their conversation and acquaintanceship.

\-----

 

 

Alex looked at Lachlan, who had an eyebrow raised, and lightly rubbed her palm comfortingly.

_\- Need a hug after sharing that?_

_\- Hell yes._

 

The two old friends simply wrapped their arms around one another and squeezed gently like it was the most natural thing in the world. Despite the casual nature of the action, Alex was well-aware even Lachlan, who was only interested in her as a friend, couldn’t fully get over the results her current breast-size had in this sort of situation, and wouldn’t blame him if he felt awkward, especially now that he got dumped by a tease himself.

_\- You really said that last line just before leaving?_

_\- Yeah._

He quieted down for a moment, as if considering, and then continued.

_\- If it’s about men… maybe you should just try someone you knew was curious about what it’s like with the types he’s not used to, or straight-up bisexual? I feel like you’d have much more luck with the overall ‘queer’ folk._

_\- I don’t know. I mean… how’d I feel if he liked my man side more than my woman side in that arrangement? I’d … need some time to consider that. But you may be right. If it was an ideal relationship, I’d get to use both at least a bit._

_\- Did you have any good relationships? At all? Like, I don’t know. A guy who’s too shy or far away enough from the jock type. Geeks or such._

_\- Well… those guys aren’t much better, you know? They can get just as vicious if they feel cheated. I don’t blame them, they have their own problems. But for folks with such issues of their own… many have complexes or super-low self-esteem when it comes to trying out dating, but damn, can it sting when they put you down verbally with an angry look in their eyes. It’s how I found out I wasn’t a masochist. If they did it to me and I was, I’d get off on the spot._

Lachlan shook his head at the failed attempt to brighten up the mood.

_\- So, no good relationships with guys whatsoever?_

_\- Actually there was a ‘good relationship’. Autumn last year. Juuust this once before I tried taking it further with this lesbian friend of ours. He was sweet. Looked average, not scrawny, not brawly, dark hair, green eyes. A year younger than me, too._

_\- Not picky about that like some girls? -_ He seemed surprised.

_\- If he’s legal and can get the fuck over me having all that, I don’t care at all. Anyway, his name was Oscar. Our first kiss was pretty sweet, and I had the feeling I was the one trying to rush the physicality up. But before we got to the fondling, I realized he wouldn’t be angry like that guy I just told you about if he found out at the wrong moment. Instead, he could be sad. Or hurt. Or disillusioned. So I came up straight away, making sure he’d get out with at least one solid boob-squeeze as an excuse for ‘feeling my heartbeat’._

_\- You’ve gotten surprisingly perverted, Alex._

_\- Sue me, they just grew another formal cup size back then._

_\- Stiiiil going._

_\- Aye. That’s me. I’m a horny slore._

_\- Is that even a word? Anyway, Oscar._

_\- Yup. So I give him the speech. Not like other girls. Not like any other girl he met until now at all. Soften it up by going into explanations of intersex. He understands. He says I’m still pretty by his standards and in his viewpoint, and he respects me trying to pursue who I want to be and not giving up on guys after the abuse I might’ve suffered from revealing that to others. Claims nobody would even know if I tried to hide it really hard after all. Which is kind of true *now*, I guess, but still sweet to hear after what it’s been like in the *past*. I ask if he’d still be that keen on it if I told him hearing him say that makes me feel tingly and warm, and I get… direct with people I feel warm for. He says we should take things slow… Seriously. Take it slow. Ehhh… fuuuuck his father and whoever gave him this much respect for women, but we’re into petting in weeks. I unceremoniously tell him the moment my breasts or mouth get him off, we’re becoming exclusive, while unbuckling his goddamn belt, hot and bothered as I am from years of fucking dick-denial._

_\- Slow down on the drink, Alex. And the cussing._

 

She set the glass aside, nodding.

_\- Enough percentages for me, true._

_\- … Can we skip the unnecessary details of just how did that progress?_

_\- Sorry. Is it gross, or just about…_

_\- Just my frustrations._

_\- I can stop, you know._

_\- I don’t want you to. I want you to get it off your chest. Gods above know it is heavy enough as-is._

 

Alex beamed him a smile when he picked up her attempts at making the conversation seem lightly on the dirty side.

_\- I’ve… gotten some foreplay practice with him, always giving, because he honestly seemed to want to try at times, but his face got so nervous I reminded him to take it slow. So, finally. The special night. It’s all in the clear, our first time, I do a show – no descriptions, but it was a solo, and I did get off on him seeing it, then…_

 

\--

Alex’ memories…

And then, what always happened during these sorts of situations, happened. Oscar  was flushed and breathing heavily, and she could tell his heartbeat was quickened… but not once did she see a single evidence of a boner.

Not once.

She still had her hopes, so when she found it soft, she even coaxed it with a hand. He got hard, then started softening when they tried to put it in.

 

Oscar turned his eyes away from hers as if ashamed of it. Then she understood that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t the fault of *her* body.

_\- Oscar, honey. I don't want to shift the blame, much less embarrass you, but I need you to be honest with me. Is this your first time? Having sex? And if it isn't, is it the first time you couldn't... go through with it?_

_\- I… I’m not a virgin! I… don’t know what’s going on. This never happened before. You know it doesn’t happen! You already did such things with me, but I… I… Suddenly, it’s…_

_\- I see. So this is the first time you can’t get hard with a sexual situation on your plate. It’s understandable with you being young and all… should be easy for you to get into things. And always was until now. That’s correct?_

_\- I’m… I’m sorry. I don’t know myself. You’re beautiful, and I think I am falling for you… Maybe I’m just nervous, or I don’t want to sully you anymore, or I feel too indebted and…_

_\- No, Oscar. Your dad raised you right, taught you how to treat the ladies, but I could tell how easy it was for me to get you out of that attitude. I am not a pure girl at all, and you did know that up front from how much I liked playing with you. Getting you off. Seeing your pleasure-filled face. I believe you do like me. You’re too sweet to lie about it now. I just think the problem is… your body cannot accept all of mine._

_\- But… but your body … earlier, it…_

_\- That was above the waist, sweetheart. I had a lot of issues with it before, but I can state that, at least when it’s not about how freakily my nipples look, I don’t need to have issues with my body image above the waist *that* much anymore. Some people like the body type I have now, at least._

_\- But I don’t want to just date your breasts or you above the waist! You’re a human being, with sexual needs and desires! If I can’t help you with them at all, that makes me a bad boyfriend!_

_\- That’s what makes it so sad. You got my hopes up that I can lose my virginity… and yes, despite all that I seem to be able and willing to do, my girl-parts were only played with by myself and occasionally another woman…Well, I hoped I could sweep that under the rug by just doing it with a sweet, nice, loving guy. Like you. Way to crash my hopes._

 

 

 

She suddenly got silent. Alex wanted to smack herself on the head, and hard. Oscar just expressed a beautiful sentiment full of heart and care, and she was pretty much guilt-tripping him. It wasn’t even his fault. She was a woman inside, and mostly out, true, but some – most, really - straight guys just *would* get frozen in presence of a penis bigger than theirs, which they just saw getting off.

[“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”]

She could see it in his eyes. A mix of heartbroken and angry she recognized well enough from her own reflection in the mirror. He was too sweet to feel this. She got up, starting to dress.

_\- Nothing can be done if your body can’t accept mine. You said you’re sorry, but I am more so._

[“This. Fucking. Didn’t. Come. Out. Right. Either. Bitch.”]

 

She sighed heavily and smacked her own face, ceasing her attempts at fixing the situation immediately and her talking to him. It was clear he somehow noticed her new emotional turmoil, and even looked concerned as she run out the door…

 

 

And once she was out, she immediately started writing him that long text. About how she just behaved like a bitch. About understanding him and not regretting a single time seeing his pleasured face, but telling him she’s just too desperate to keep waiting without throwing herself at opportunities, and he’s too sweet to date him and try to get them to fall in love with one another while she waits for sex or tried to get it elsewhere.

 

And then she tried with Ayla, ‘their lesbian friend’, and finally, after a couple more attempts with one of the most recent ending with her getting beaten up, got here.

\--

 

Lachlan seemed half-stunned, but with a deduction ready this time.

_\- I don’t even know what to say anymore, Alex, but my first piece of advice would be to *not* overdo it with getting *them* off if you want them to easily get hard no matter how confused your lower body could make them. Or stick to girls. Or find a bisexual guy. Or go to a club where a girl, to put it in the crudest way possible, ‘packing extra’ is *normal*._

_\- What’s the second piece of advice? Or any extra?_

_\- Sticking to the first piece for now... Check out places where someone like you wouldn’t be hated. I mean, seriously. Our country’s not even bad with that kind of stuff anymore. It’s like you’re purposefully making yourself a magnet for people who just don’t understand what’s ‘the problem’ with you and are shocked by it, or try their best to ‘overlook it’, even though there may be places where you’d be seen as an attractive whole._

_\- I… get it. Maybe I’ve been wrong, but… I’ve been trying to hide my… ‘uniqueness’ for most of my life, you know? After those couple parties and dates, the process of just ‘coming out’ to my current dating partner felt natural. Going to a place and having everyone ponder what I’m doing there… wouldn’t be. I don’t even know how attracted I would be to someone remotely like me, you know?_

_\- Yeah. The second piece of advice would be to *not* go for the people who seem, well, immediately into what they see, because there’s literally no fucking way someone will look at you and think “I bet this person has…”_

 

She interrupted that attempt at putting something in the ‘crudest of terms’.

_\- Shhhh… We’ve had too much to drink._

_\- Not really. It seems you’re sobering up already, too. We stopped at just the right moment._

 

Alex threw him a dirty and mischievous smile as she poked his thigh.

_\- Then how do I explain the sudden wish to tease you about *you* right now matching the description you just gave me, Lachlan?  “Getting hard despite confusion” and “being immediately into” things… well, the former rather than the latter? Do I chat it up to my greediness? Is it a game? Did you say it that way on purpose, or did your own frustration just came boiling to the surface with all of mine?_

For the first time in a long while, she saw Lachlan getting a little bit flustered. He was focused on trying to cheer her up and help her out, however, so he beat that fairly quickly.

_\- Alex, we’re both, and you in particular, in a bad place when it comes to love, so it’s normal for you to feel frustrated. But, while talking or joking about this is okay, risking our friendship to go on rebound or fool around… I mean, we’re not in an emotionally bright and warm spot right now, and things aren’t all butterflies, sunshine and rainbow, but…_

_\- Lachlan. You’re right. I didn’t drink enough. If I did, I’d be throwing myself at you. Literally._

_\- Uhh, did you hear what I just said?_

_\- I’ve been in a dark place about this all my life. But, hey. I got off with a lesbian fuckbuddy. What’d you have? Months of blueballs on you? Pussyjuice on two shirts?_

_\- You don’t have to be a smartass about it. And we did confirm you’re actually longer into the celibate period._

_\- Just say it. ‘Bitch’ is the term, not ‘smartass’. I don’t want to be so crude and, in a sense, violent about it, either. I care about you, Lachlan. You’re my best goddamn friend. You’re the only friend who’s always been ready to stand by my side no matter where things went or what was happening to me, my mind, or my body. This is why I can understand why part of me would feel like it’d be *okay* to be your rebound girl, because you’ve treated me *plenty* good enough to justify *using me to get your rocks off*._

_\- That’d be one night stand. Pity sex, too. After years of friendship. And a couple percentage points of alcohol._

_\- We can sleep together and think if we should do it when sober._

_\- We shouldn’t be thinking if we should be at all, Alex. We’re friends. Always have been._ – he protested, but he didn’t seem as disturbed by the notion as he was making himself out to be.

_\- Because by the time you developed smooth-talk, you were in two relationships in a row. The second one happened by the time I’ve torn up and ruined my first outgrown C-cup bra, by the way. And said relationship also left you with blueballs big enough to get you hard when drunk-hugging your best friend._

_\- I… I didn’t get like that from hugging you!_

_\- Mentions of blowjobs, titfucks, and striptease then. In my silky sweet voice saying such innocent nothings all the time. I’m not saying I really, really, really think this is the best course of action. I am not saying I even think it’s a good one. But god damn it, Lachlan. If there’s someone I’d be fine with being my first even without a shred of proper courting, as a goddamn rebound, if there was someone I thought *deserved* to be helped with their own frustrations and to whom I’d *gladly* toss out that stupid V-card if it meant helping him be a little more relaxed, cheerful, and helping him blow off steam after his relationship was screwed up, you’d be pretty damn high on that super short list, Lachlan._

_\- But I don’t want to hurt you. In any way. Or for you to just be a way to vent frustration. You’re too important for this, Alex._

_\- Then maybe you should listen to what *I* want. I want to do it. With a guy. Who thinks I’m a girl. Not a bicurious girl who doesn’t know if she’s excited by my tits or my cock. Not a lesbian who tells me finding my clit is a pain in the ass, decides it’s nowhere, and tells me she’d date me in a heartbeat if I chopped the stuff I was born with off. Not a guy who thinks he might be gay, or a guy who can’t get it up when it counts even if he’s made from sugar and sweetness. Not a test with someone who is either transgender or super into people who are. I want affection, connection, emotion, or a goddamn pale imitation of them, as long as it’s a good one, while I’m finally fucked like a *girl* my age with the sex drive I *kind of* have. I know you would not hurt me, which is precisely why I think I’m feeling like this right now._

_\- Doesn’t mean it’s a good idea._

_\- That’s why we’ll sleep over it. Preferably together, so you can check out how awkward it makes you._

_\- Alex, doing any of those things can make things awkward. It may sound pretty good right now, it does seem like it wouldn’t be hurting you, but we may not be able to stay friends. And I know you still want to find someone special. Maybe you’re even still holding a candle to…_

_\- If I had someone like you after me, that would be enough. If I can be your girlfriend after this, it’d be cool. If not, we’ll let the awkwardness go out for a short time, and go back to being friends, because I will * not* let you go again. But this is our once in a lifetime chance to check if we *can* be more than friends, and if not, to help each other out with the biggest sexual frustrations of our respective lives._

_\- You don’t really sound all that sure. I mean, you’re bisexual, right?_

_\- Maybe. Possibly. But it’s not wrong to lose my virginity to a boy if I am a girl. And I am. And I’d have nothing to be ashamed of if my first time was with someone as special as you._

It was the heaviest, longest sigh Lachlan gave that evening. Waiting for a couple long, heavy moments in silence, he eventually seemed to come to a conclusion.

_\- Then I’ll finish my beer, and we’ll sleep on it. Just promise me you really won’t give up on our friendship, no matter what, and that if you have any significant doubt about it when we wake up, we will not do it. And that you won’t get mad at me if ‘sober me’ thinks this is a terrible idea._

_\- I can promise you that. Promise you won’t sneak out of the bed to jerk off?_

_\- You really need to get fucked. You were never *this* nasty, Alex!_

_\- You’ll get to spank me to, if you really want to._

_\- To deliver the appropriate and just amount of spanks would leave no time for the vanilla things._

_\- Mhmm. Vanilla. Hot, delicious, vanilla sex in the missionary position. Gotta have the covers up and lights out, too. Even though it’s harder to stick it in the right hole then._

_\- I already get that you need vaginal penetration, Alex._

_\- Driiiving the point home. Then oooofff into the sunset, and back home. By a looong drill through Mother Earth. So it’s driven home several times._

_\- Maybe you should try a…_

_\- One more suggestion of doing it in a toy, and I’ll be whispering in your ear all night. And it’s going to be terrifyingly inappropriate things, too. I’ll get a toy for that when someone properly fucks me. I already did things with my fingers, so now it’s time for the real thing. And god damn it, I am almost giddy about it being yours, potentially._

_\- Chill out. We’re drunk. Still don’t know if it’ll be a good idea in the morning._

_\- Any more denial and I’ll have dicks on my brain permanently. Then, it’ll always be a …_

_\- Check, please! Can you stop? The inside of my pants has seen calmer days than you speaking vulgarities while trying to make your voice husky like that._

_\- I’m your husky. Woof, woof._

_\- You know what I mean, silly. And don’t make it awkward. It’ll be fucking awkward as hell, anyway, we don’t need to make it more so. Please._

_\- All you needed to do was say that. My lips are sealed._


End file.
